#alone with my thoughts
don’t you just love it when the guy you like asks for your advice to ask his crush to prom and reassure him that she’ll say yes cause he’s just such a great guy.
i feel numb.
everytime he texts me, i want to reply right away. but i shouldn’t. he dosent care about me like he cares about her.
he will never love me like he does her.
the worst part about it is that i cant hate you. i cant. you have been nothinb but wonderful and loving towards me for the last two months.
it would be different if you were some cruel, horrible, manipulative person. but you’re not.
you always ask about my day. you ask me about how im feeling, if i am doing ok. hè asks me questions bcs ‘hè wants to get to know me better’.
he sends me red hearts and hè sends me drawn hearts on snapchat. hè is nothing but a wonderful and thoughtful human being.
we’re eachother’s number 1 best friend on snapchat for months now and we send a minimum of 300 snaps/texts a day, and not counting when we talk at school.
hè makes me laugh. hè distracts me when im having a bad day with a funny story of his. he asks me if i want to talk about it, and if i do he listens contently, if i say i dont want to talk about it, he drops it and starts another conversation.
so how can i hate someone like that. i cant.
and yet, when he asked me for girl advice on how to ask his crush to prom, everytging hurt. i trachee for the bottle and now im lying in my bed crying and drunk as i am writing this.
but he deserves her. shes pretty. shes skinny. shes not fucked. she hasnt been depressed for the last 5 years of her life. she never self-harmed. shes perfect for him.
i want to let go of him. i cant keep doing this to myself, but on the other hand, i deserve to get hurt. i care about almost nothing in this world, so i should feel what it feels like to get stabbed repeatedly.
he deserves someone like her. not like me.
Never loved.
Its amazing how long you can go without thinking about someone, but then bam there back in your mind and its worse than before because you forgot how much it hurts for them to only be in your thoughts and not in your life.
Turned my feelings off for a minute there. They back on
Mood: taking a long drive with the windows down and the music up laughing with you.
Always in my head
Everything sucks..
I’m so fuckin alone in this fuckin world.
Dear Diary,
I feel like I was born to be hated.
Dear ▇▇▇,
You were so kind before they dragged you to hell.
Dear Diary,
I don’t want to die but I need this to end.
Dear Diary,
Why do people forget about me so fast?
Lo que quise contigo no lo tendría con otro hombre…
Mientras tú lo vives con alguien más.
I wish I could sleep forever, dreaming of a love I know I can never have.
23.45
You will never know how many tears have fallen for you.
Sorry, that I’m so complicated and mess everything up.
if we don’t talk again, remember I loved you
“how quickly feelings grow and how painfully slow they choose to go”
“I love you. I always have. But you didn’t. And you never will.”
Overthinking is no joke. That shit eats you up on the inside.
and my walls are covered in your name
every breath is taken in pain
and I’ll never hear you speak again
I wasn’t very kind to myself for a really long time and I’m trying to learn that now. So do what you need to do, and push yourself, but also forgive yourself if you fuck it up, or if you’re struggling.
I feel like I’m waiting for something that will never happen
the worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t
let’s take nudes together
“We are so focused on physical beauty. We don’t know how much a soul can feed us.”
my chest is screaming when I hear your name. god, why can’t you realize that I love you so much more than myself.
I wish I had a better reason for being this broken but instead I’m just constantly drunk and alone, trying to fix the broken pieces of me with drugs and alcohol that never works.
