#aromantic problems
alloaro actually means hot as hell thx for asking <3
as an aroace I agree. alloaros are hot asf imo
ace and aro and so on and so forth
I’m gonna make something REAL CLEAR.
As an aro, I often preach that we need to be working together, (as the aspec community and as a society in general,) to dismantle the norms that say every person wants/needs a partner, that everyone needs to get married, and that those things are requirements for happiness. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, especially because these norms harm many different groups of people, not only aspecs.
What I’m really tired of, is allos automatically assuming that because I preach these things, that I hate marriage, romance and love, that I have a vendetta towards people who engage in those things, and that I want to make alloromantic people feel guilty for being alloromantic.
It’s another classic case of “it’s not about you, it’s about the systemic norms we all live with and experience in day-to-day life.”
I hold no hate or dislike towards anyone who is in a romantic relationship, married, or engaging in other romantic activities with a partner or partners. Really. I have two parents and many family members and friends that are happily married and in love.
That being said, I don’t want to engage in romance and I am not alloromantic, so these norms impact me in a profound way that’s sometimes hard to describe. I want to dismantle the norms because it will make my life and many other’s lives a lot easier. This does not mean, however, that I support the absolute collapse of the components of these norms.
If some people’s thoughts didn’t always jump straight to “this person’s views and opinions are attacking me and my lifestyle,” when engaging in conversations about amatonormativity and the norms that come with it, then they would recognize that most aromantic people actually support romance-favourability.
Know the difference between dismantling the systemic romantic normsandabolishing the entire system of romantic components and ideas whichencompass said norms.
The former is an effective way to make many groups of people feel more comfortable and less alienated, and the latter is just as ineffective and discriminatory as pushing for romantic norms to be continued they are now. As aros, most of us just want to feel like we belong in a society that constantly reminds us that we don’t. It is not our goal to make allos feel guilty, or to radically change society’s ideals to fit an inherently romance-negative narrative.
We just want to dismantle amatonormativity in society, by changing the mindset and narrative to a way of thinking that does not discriminate between alloromantic and aromantic people. That’s all.
I cannot express enough how important it is to connect with people who can relate to your experiences. As a young aromantic person, struggling to figure out my identity without representation or anyone who really “got” it was difficult. Heck, even now I’m not sure whether I’m completely comfortable in my identity.
The online aromantic community is incredible. The incredible amount of support I feel every day from people who don’t even know me is so uplifting. Just knowing that there’s someone (MANY) out there in this big world who feels like I do makes it so much easier to cope, especially in times where the self-doubt and judgment really start to get real. That’s it I just want to say that I love (no romo, of course) and support you all!
Feeling as if you are lying to yourself and everyone around you when you come out because of the look of shame you get
Sorry I went away on a small hiatus because I wasn’t feeling amazing but I’m back and will be posting as often as I can! Dm me any of your own lithromantic problems to post (please specify if you would like it posted anonymously or not) and I will post it when I can :) also thank you for 100 followers!!!
When someone says they like you too and your stomach drops.
Like nooooo, you just ruined everythingggg!
submission by @surpriseimgayy
Reading about cute couples and imagining being in a relationship like that, but remembering you don’t work that way.
submission by @newwave-altqueens
When you’re in love with the idea of love and being in a committed relationship but you realize that it could never really work out.
submission by @ahjoomas
Feeling nauseous if someone is acting cute with you
Thinking it would last because of how you felt at first but then the attraction fades
I think aro people would have a much easier time accepting themselves if even one person had told them that not wanting a relationship is an ok and valid option
