REGARDING BLACK MEN REFUSING TO DATE BLACK WOMEN…

The issue here is that all of these groups of men and their value of their women cannot be analyzed outside of the context of colonialism. They cannot be analyzed outside of the fact that the black woman, and man, are the most despised and degraded group of people on earth. Society doesn’t value the black woman and that resentment is taught to all of us, including black women, from birth.

Asian women are uplifted in society, “Hispanic” women (by which I assume they mean Latina/ indigenous women cuz if they’re talking about women actually from Spain then they’re talking about white women) are uplifted, white women are the archetype, the standard of beauty, of worth, of womanhood period while black women are the opposite of the white woman- the opposite of her beauty, her grace, her worth, her womanhood and are treated accordingly.

How many of those same white, asian and Hispanic women would happily marry (not just sleep with) a black man? Very, very few. I’m also confident that black women unwilling to be with black men vastly outnumbers other groups of women unwilling to be with men of their own nationality.

This certainly isn’t the fault of the black woman but neither is it the fault of the black man.

This is the result of a societal standard that the entire world’s population subscribes to by default until they make a conscious effort to overcome it (decolonizing the mind). Black people, historically and presently, are the most disempowered, reviled, disregarded, degraded and brutalized people on earth and because of that, we learn to resent each other as well. We develop an inability to even see the value in the life of a black person, much less see one as a viable romantic partner. This is the root of any black person refusing to deal with another black person romantically.

Once this system that makes white people the standard of humanity and everything that stems from it (beauty, intelligence, dignity, worth) is defeated, that’s when black people will be able to enjoy a dignity, respect and societal praise/ upliftment that we haven’t experienced for hundreds of years.

That’s when the worth of our people will be the standard n we’ll most certainly be dating each other lol.

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Black Bond

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The Wrath of Urkel

In the couple of days since the release of Childish Gambino’s widely acclaimed This is America video, it’s seemed that the question of his longtime interracial relationship with a white woman and whether or not it takes away from the sincerity of his politically charged, “unapologetically pro-black” video has been the subject of more think-pieces, debates and comment section tussles than the video itself. In one corner, he’s been dismissed as a coon/ sellout and has had the entire agenda of his music video brought under suspicion via the “you can’t talk black and sleep white” argument.

In another, more empathetic, corner, Childish Gambino’s interracial relationship has been defended and described as the typical route taken by black nerds after being rejected by black women whom they claim have never been interested in them or their Naruto comics. Black women, in response, have vehemently denied a wholesale rejection of black nerds with the argument that black male nerds simply want white women and have fabricated a black women’s vendetta against them in an attempt to justify their pursuit of white women. Black women have also highlighted the plight of the black female nerd and claim that their experience has been left out of the conversation entirely.

Now what I’ve seen, in the end, is a denial of the validity of the black male nerd’s claims of rejection by the black woman as well as a minimization of the black female nerd and her position within black nerd culture. Both conclusions are inaccurate.

In actuality, the nerdy black guy and the nerdy black girl are very much interconnected and have similar experiences when looking for love within the black community. Black nerd guys feel scorned by the “traditionally” (by colonial/ Eurocentric beauty standards) attractive black woman that every black man is told to want. The black nerd likes a big butt n a smile like everyone else. The problem is the big butt n a smile is absolutely not checking for Urkel because she is seeking out the black man deemed traditionally attractive (by the same colonial/ Eurocentric beauty standards) and is often overlooking any man that doesn’t fit into that mold, aka the black nerd guy. As far as the black nerd girl goes, she too is chasing the colonially defined attractive black man and is also not checking for the awkward, dorky, traditionally unattractive black nerd guy- let’s not pretend that she is. Since the black nerd girl’s interest in men is also governed by colonial beauty standards, she is certainly not checking for Urkel. She wants a fine ass nikka too. However, she’s awkward, dorky and traditionally unattractive so neither the fine ass nikkas, nor the black nerd guy, want her. Both the male and female black nerd end up chasing waterfalls- the traditionally attractive black man/woman whom they are generally denied due to their own traditional unattractiveness- and overlooking each other entirely.

What Urkel means when he says “black women don’t like me” is “Laura Winslow wasn’t tryna gimme no play so I’m throwing all black women away”. It’s a claim based solely off of their history of lofty romantic ambitions, rejected advances and hurt feelings.

With love, and a Dragon Ball Z tattoo,

a former black nerd

Instagram.com/themightydexter

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