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Euphoria - Jungkook DIGITAL ARTmore artwork on instagram: @ _gxner_This is one of my absolute favoriEuphoria - Jungkook DIGITAL ARTmore artwork on instagram: @ _gxner_This is one of my absolute favori

Euphoria- Jungkook 

DIGITAL ART


more artwork on instagram: @ _gxner_


This is one of my absolute favorites. I didn’t like it at first but when I finished it and played around with some tools to create the background… now I love it. It is very simple. and it looks like a poster! 


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DESTINY ♡

When your whole world revolves around one boy, but destiny sets you with a unexpectedly expected man.

Pairing:Yoongi × reader ft. Jimin

Genre:brother’s friend, only old crush, heartbreak, college oc au.

Summary:you’re over him, a new world sets in front of you. But the heartbreak you both got at the same time is not what you have had thought of. It must be the destiny to set you with your only old crush Yoongi. But still you ain’t prepared for the third heartbreak in a row, what if he breaks your heart again?

Warnings:fluff, mild smut, angst, heartbreak, like flooded with tears, oc is so sweet, confusion, misunderstanding,  crush , breakup, traitor, betrayal, brother’s bestfriend, roommate, college oc, angst shower smut, smokey, dirty talk, seokjin is oc’s brother, he’s a dick, yoongi is a Heartbreaker, jimin is also a dick, expectations ruined, one-shot.

Word limit:6.5k

Author’s note :besties, here’s the new fic of Yoongi. Spare sometime of your to read this piece of beauty and let me know if you guys need a part 2 and how much you loved it. Kindly apologizing for not editing it cause it’s already so late. Remember I always love you <3

MASTER LIST

♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱

“I’m done with you, dude.” You screamed at your brother and ran into your room. You have been mad at your brother since so long. You both never get along. Fights, quarrelling and being mad at each other is both of your favourite things. You never want to live with your brother during your college years but only for the sake of your parents you were there sharing apartments with your brother. If you get any chance you would change your apartment.

“Stop overreacting, I’ll be home till night. Enjoy yourself.” Your brother said slamming your door. He was never in the house, always out there having fun with girls, alcohol and money. This is what he called life and you totally were different from him. You’re more conserved, introverted and only allow certain people in your life. But here you’re happy that atleast the whole house is yours now. You can watch Disney weird fantasy movies or eat pineapple pizza without being judged. At night after he left for partying you ordered a big size pizza and started watching the saddest movies to cry.

At the mean time of your crying session, you heard a ding bell sound at the doorstep. It’s almost two at the morning and you were confused who’s now. But at your surprise it’s you brother walking inside the house with one more person just like him. You saw him, but he was head down walking inside but you guessed it right. In the black jacket it was Min Yoongi. Your brother’s friend or kind of used to be classmate. You have been seeing him from the starting years of college. And now you’re almost at the end of the year. The person right before seems sad and num. But it was not a surprising thing cause everytime you meet Yoongi he looks so sad and calm. No emotions can be read from his expression.

“I guess you’re too early to come home!” You glared at your brother who settled himself at the couch, beside him Yoongi takes his sit.

“None of your business, girl. And why are you up this late, huh? Again watching your weird fantasy movies.” Your brother hummed.

“Yo, bitch. Don’t interfere in my life. Just go, I’m in the middle of something.” You ranted.

“Y/n language! Haven’t you seen Yoongi sitting right here? A guest is in the house and you’re talking to me like this?” Your brother glared. Yoongi just scoffs still head down.

“Let me clear this to you. Yoongi’s girlfriend kicked him out of there shared apartment. So, for few days or weeks he’ll be here with us until or unless there fight get resolved.” He said.

“None of my business though.” You rolled your eyes still focussing on the television screen.

Yoongi in his deep voice “we soon gonna be together again. Thanks Seokjin for giving me shelter.” Both of the boys then straight up walked into the rooms and you were there ending the last scenes.

From the starting years living with your brother Seokjin, you always met with all his friends. Yoongi was also one of them. But he was the one whom you talked the most in his group circle. Yoongi seems so calm and intelligent to your eyes. He was also a good listener while a great adviser. You both added each other in every social media platforms you were present. You almost talked with him daily the past years. But the sudden change that developed in him was still unknown to you. You didn’t get what ghosted him but this past few months he randomly stopped talking to you. No in person talks, no messages or neither calls. He even blocked you from all his social medias. You thought he was mad at you for something but you never get it for what. You tried asking him what’s the matter of not talking or having no contact with you randomly. But he never answered it in a right way. Neither did you exaggerated the matter. As told you were very picky about the people in your life. If somebody don’t want to have contact with you then it’s his loss. You’re always there to help anyone and everyone you know.


The very next day, you were excited to meet with your new crush Jimin. He’s new to your campus for few months and you both became good friends with eachother. He seems so cool to your eyes. Never did you think of dating anyone from your college but if it’s about Jimin then you can’t say no to it. He’s kind and fun guy to goof around. But the thing that make your heart flutter was his flirty side. The way he acts like he’s in love with you with all his picky lines on you. You can’t denied that you liked it, really every much. Your heart always pound whenever he goes all flirty with you. But you also can’t deny the fact that he seems flirty with all the other girls in the campus. Kind of like the new fuck boy in the college. Sad for you that at last you did fall for the flirty kid.


“ Jimin! How’s your day going bub?” You yelled at Jimin who was standing there flirting with some other girls.

“Y/n beautiful! You’re becoming more beautiful day by day.” Jimin walk up to and said.

“Ahh you boy! Shut up. Any plan for this weekends?” You asked.

“As you know our college last year gonna end in this month. So, I’m quite busy.” Jimin sighed.

“Yeah, but I’m excited for our graduation day. But Jimin I’m gonna confess something before our graduation day to you.” You whispered in his ears.

“Oh-okay. What’s it about can I ask?” Jimin hesitantly said.

“Meet me at the basket ball court at evening in this weekend. Okay?” You excitedly said.

“I-i will be there. But if anything necessary then you can tell me now.” Jimin asked.

“Patience Jimin. Don’t forget to come.” You winked at him and walk straight up to your house.

You were really happy that finally after taking a whole one year you now gonna confess to Jimin. Your heart saying that he gonna accept you but your brain already shown you some red flags. But you just ignored it. After denying for so long, now your feelings for him was strong and directive. You can sense it. Before the end of the graduation day you decide to confess the feelings. As you believe in ‘if you like someone, let them know how you feel for them’ philosophy.

You open the door of your living room, at your surprise a whole shirtless Yoongi was sitting at the couch watching his favourite football. His dark strands of hair was wet and a towel was hanging at his shoulders. The track pants which he was wearing was quite unrecognisable as the only thing you concentrated was on his pale smooth white skin. You can’t deny his beauty. He was unknowingly beautiful. His cheek bones, cat eyes and gummy smile. At the sound of the door he quickly trail his eyes on you.

You screamed “dress up, you naked man.”

Yoongi just rolled his eyes on you and put on his shirt and said “I’m not even naked. Haven’t you seen a shirtless man before?”

“S-sorry sir! But I’m not habituated to see a whole naked man in my house everyday.” You hesitantly exaggerated your words and sit at the corner couch.

“Then get habituated.” He said with a straight face almost focused on the sports.

You don’t seem to reply at his last words. Your eyes trail down to find your brother, who was nowhere in the house. You already figured it out again that he had gone to somewhere as most of the time he was not home when you came back from college.

“Have you seen my brother?” You asked Yoongi.

“I don’t know might me out of the home.” Yoongi said. Your inner brain was screaming that you also know that when Seokjin was not at home he was probably out of the house. You sighed at his words.

Hearing your frustrated sound, Yoongi looked at you and goes like “you can watch now, I’m good at the room.” And he get up from the couch and walked towards the room.

“hey! Yaa! Stop, you can watch. I’m not frustrated because of you. Come here.” You yelled at him.

Yoongi calmly come and sit at the exact spot. You were constantly looking at him but he say no to eye contact. With his baby eyes he was looking at the screen. The surrounding filled with the whistle of football match. You don’t know what to say to him. You were still thinking of starting a conversation but you don’t know how. But you want to ask that person beside you that why he was ignoring the hell out of you. You missed him, you accepted. Before even catching those feelings we cuts you off. You already added him in your good relationship bucket list. But he tend to follow the opposite both. Your eyes are kind of stuck at him without even realising.

Yoongi scoffs “you can stop staring. I’m feeling uncomfortable.”

His deep voice fetch you to the reality and you stumbled “umm.. i-i was just. S-sorry, can we talk?”

For the first time Yoongi’s eyes lands on you. You both made an eye contact for mili second until or unless Yoongi broke it. He goes “for what? I think I should go.”

“This is what I’m talking. Why did you just cut me off from your life, Yoongi. I mean what’s happened suddenly you stop talking to me?” You sighed.

“Is I’m not talking to you now?” Yoongi glared at you.

“You also know what I’m talking. You blocked me from every social media handles. Even you didn’t replied my texts. Why are you mad at me, Yoongi?” You said with a worried face.

“I was quite distrub from the past months. Might be because of that. We’re good.” Yoongi cleared it.

“No, we ain’t. The past months you only ignored me. I saw you attending each and every party. And you’re looking quite happy at that time” Your voice raised.

“Tell me, why you want to talk to me? Why you need me? Why you can’t resist me? Is you’re feeling for me? Do you wanna have something with me?” Yoongi screamed some unusual questions which you never thought of.

The question stuck to your head. When he asked you all this, you also questioned yourself. Why actually you want to talk to him. You realise you’re expecting something from. But it was also right your heart carries some part of love for him at that time might be now too. But the way Yoongi yelled at you, you’re expecting that.

“Min, are you okay? Is everything good? I know you and your girlfriend have a fight going on and I know how you feel. But that doesn’t mean you would shout at me like that.” You sighed.

“No, I’m not okay, y/n. I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t understand my feelings right now. My girlfriend is cheating on me at one hand and at another my feelings are growing for someone else. It feels like I’m cheating. But I ain’t a cheater, y/n.” Yoongi broke down. His deep voice mixes with some tearing emotions but he tried hard to not express.

Yoongi feels like he was the cheater because of you. The truth is he really likes you. That he can’t resist to talk to you. That whenever he saw you, he wants to wrap you around his body. Even when he have a girlfriend, you filled him with joy. Even having someone to love, he need you to be in love. You make him go crazy. But he knows it’s all wrong. That catching feelings for someone else instead of having a girlfriend is wrong. So, the best solution he found was to cut you off. Only for this reason he stopped talking to you. You feels like a complete stranger to him.

Still it didn’t work. At the times he talked to you he always stay happy and focussed but after cutting you off he seems sad most of the time. Also he feels so frustrating at times and fight with anyone and everyone he saw. That’s also a reason that after stop talking to you he and his girlfriend have fight most of the time. And after a long series of fighting and quarrelling with each other, his relationship becomes toxic as hell. He wants to scape out of the place. So, he did. But destiny have different plans, after pushing you so far. Atlast he came back at your arms only. Now, he was sitting beside you. You’re trying your best to confront him.

“Min, calm down. I’m here. I’ll not abandoned you. Tell me everything.” You quitely whispered in his ears while talking his hands on yours. His cold hands fit yours and it felt good.

“Thanks y/n. Sorry for everything I did to you. I’m the worst. I broke your heart and I also cheated on my girlfriend. Even though I know she was cheating on me since so long.” Yoongi calmly put his each word.

“No, you’re best. She’s cheating on you first. And feeling for someone else doesn’t make you cheater, Min.” You confronted him.

“You don’t understand. Right now in my life, I want somebody to hold be tight, to love me like I do and to protect me. No one in this earth loves me.” Yoongi frustrated and smack the pillow beside him.

You can’t hold how sad and frustrated he was that time. You never have seen him in like. He was broke, totally broke. You glanced at him and hugged his huge posture which was unstable. But with presence of your hugging body it get calm and the huge body turns down to small. He completely fitted between your arms. You patted his back, he didn’t argued to back off from the hug neither did he hold you back. You were just there holding him and confronting him. Seeing him like this you also got broke.

“I’m here, Yoongi. See, I’m holding you, loving you and even confronting you. Don’t even say those words. I care for you.” You said calmly still holding him in your arms like a baby.

His cologne smells like you’re in a mountain and forest. With each time going you like wrapped him around. He quietly sitting like a baby.

“Remember if the relationship is getting toxic, calls it a off. And if you like someone else and your feelings are genuine then let the person know it. Tell her that how much you feel for her. I know you will.” You geniunely said. He back off from your hug and nodded it a yes.

“And what if the person seems so close to me that knowing I like her, she’ll be surprised. And she also broke my heart.” Yoongi asked.

“I promise she’ll not. Just be brave and tell her your feelings. Not all people are heartbreaker like you.” You giggled to calm the situation down.

“You aren’t a heart break, huh?” Yoongi asked and you laughed at him.

As the atmosphere becomes a little lighter Seokjin your brother walks inside the room. Unknowingly you were around Yoongi’s arms and he was half heartedly hugging you. As your brother entered you both sit apart acting like nothing happens.

You glared at him and shouted “where were you brat?”

Seokjiin narrowed his eyes “language! You don’t need to know that. But let me tell you, for the rest of this week days you have to be alone as I’m leaving for a business trip.”

You excitedly said “really? Thank god! I’ll have my alone time now.” You love to be alone and as said you hated your nosy brother.

Seokjiin frowned “hold on girl! Don’t ever dare to think of bringing your boyfriend Jimin at this house.”

He then looked at Yoongi and goes “Min, can you please have an eye on my little sister. Don’t let her bring any boy.” Yoongi nodded but with a confusing face.

The last time your brother was not home, you bring Jimin and some of his other friends in your house. And to be honest it was a disaster. Next day your house smells like a pond of alcohol and smoking junction. Unfortunately your brother comes home at the wrong time and see all of those. He even saw how Jimin flirted with you and from then onwards he hated him.

You yelled “he isn’t my boyfriend.” But you slowly whispered to yourself “but he’ll be soon.”

“It’s better if he’s not. That boy is a dick. If you ran around him like that he surely gonna break your heart. Cut him off from your life.” Seokjiin said as packing his stuff.

“None of your buisness, brat. Have fun weekends. Me and Yoongi will also have fun.” You laughed devilishly.

Seokjiin moved all his clothes and necessary things in his suitcase and you say a bye to him. Well, sometimes you love your brother in real. But most of the time you hate him because of him being correct always. As for now, he already predicted that Jimin gonna broke your heart but you know Jimin really very well. He’s a sweetheart in your eyes who is so soft to broke anyone’s heart. This time you gonna prove your brother wrong by confessing Jimin. Your guts were telling you that your doing something right and should go on.

You two were alone in a house full of rooms. But it didn’t feel different as Yoongi entered in his room as soon as Seokjin left and you all visited your room to complete graduation studys. You were quite pressurized for the day but happy that you gonna confess to Jimin tomorrow. A perfect proposal you dreamt of . Long basketball court where you and he will be standing all alone and some butterflies kicking in your stomach.

Here Yoongi in his room ingrossed into his long fluffy blanket. His mind was full of you. He can’t stop thinking about you. All he need is you and you. His heart was playing some sort of games to go in your room and kiss your lips. When you were hugging me in the couch his eyes were constantly trailing down to your lips. He can’t resist his desire to kiss on that peach soft lips that taste like berries. He already know how you’ll taste. Your fragrance, soft skin, long finger, smooth hairs drives him crazy. It’s not like he was attracted to you for the first time . Whenever you come nearer to him, he can sense his hormones bobbing out of his nerves. He liked you, he knows. The only thing that stopping him was his bothered self. He wasn’t sure if you also feel the same, but he knows you feel the exact same. Without resisting his desires he got straight up from the bed and walk up to yours.

You were strolling down your eyes within the gigantic piles of pages right before you. He peep through the door to see your face. Your hair strands lacking his view and your frustrated face increases his rage. He liked you, he can’t see you like this. He does a sigh sound closing his eyes, which shifted your attention. You were no longer interested in your books but the person peeping you through the door interests you more.

You calmly open the door and whispered in his hear “do you need something, Yoongi?”

He got shuttered to your cat voice and stumbled “umm.. y-no. Actually you look so frustrated!”

You does a small laugh and said “graduation studies! It’s frustrating.”

He nodded his head looking at the floor and then said “if you’re okay, then we can watch some movies?”

You frowned your eyes in a playful manner “i can’t say no to you but -”

Yoongi intreuppted you “no buts. Living room in 10.” He turned to his room.

You chuckled on his cuteness. Well, if Jimin didn’t entered your life then Yoongi have been the one you would die on. You liked him from the every first of your college days. You haven’t met anyone as calm and as loyal as him. But presence of his girlfriend broke you down. You don’t want to interfere in his relationship. But as for now, he was in a verge of breaking up with his girlfriend. If you still have that active Yoongi loving bone in your body then you would have said everything to him. But fate have different plans.

The couch was cozy, the room was dark with various beam of light from television echoes. Freash buttery popcorn lined by your side. You were half lying on the couch beside Yoongi who was calmly looking at the movie you choosed. For sure you have your own romantic taste in movies. And he can’t say no to you. You were stealing some glance of him in the name of watching movie. He’s ethereal. You again felt the same butterflies when you used to talk to him. Again the feelings were kicking your stomach. You are liking it. Your sudden urge to touch him filled your heart but your mind keep debating about Jimin.

“Yoongi!” Your soft voice echoes the background.

He looked at you but his eyes were on your peack lips “umm…?”

“Are you liking this movie? If not then we can change it.” You hesitantly said.

“Loving it so far. Romance is never my thing but you made it mine now.” Yoongi softly chuckled again stick his eyes to the screen. But the one thing you don’t know that his focus never shifted from you. He also sees how badly you want him but no one makes a move.

“Can you pass me the blanket, Min?” You again grapped his attention. He gently took the blanket and cover your legs and torso. You both were just centimetres away. You shifted a little close to him to feel the heat. He smiled at you.

“Thanks, Min. You want the blanket?” You asked nervously. Without any hesitation he unfold the whole blanket and cover both you. You gently smiled at him. There was a big silence echoing your heart. You want to make the move to kiss him, to touch him and to play with his hairs. And that was when stopped when you actually did while there was a kissing scene going on .

You gently grapped his thighs and rubbed it slowly. “It’s cold here.” You slowly yet seductively said.

“Umm! Yes!” He nodded and pressed his cold hands on your bare legs. He also does the same thing you did.

But soon his hands trail upward inside from your loose shorts. He’s circling inside your inner things. His finger nails form a line in your inner thigh. You were loving that feeling. As soon as you put your hands out of his thighs, he makes a unsatisfied sound.

“Umm?” You looked at him innocently with a devilish thought. Both of your eyes met at once.

“Can I kiss you?” You hesitantly asked.

As soon as you ended the sentence his lips are already on your neck. This smooth lips does a great job in your bare neck area. He was gently kissing , devilishly sucking and you were pleasantly moaning his name. He kissed your collar bone and your pale skin turns to violet in seconds. He pressed you in the couch and lean over you. But you want his lips on yours.

The moment was made for Yoongi, he slowly takes his time to respond each and every moans of your. His lips were playing with your skin. Happily sucking each corner of your neck. Soon the realisation stuck him and he was now concentrating on your lips. Took a few times to glance at your lips while massaging your hair with one hand. He pressed his lips on your sharp jaw line. You were enjoying ever bit of it.

'Jimin’ this name echoed in your brain. That few minutes you can’t proceed, before you it was Yoongi but your heart his on Jimin’s hand. You can’t betray him like this. You have a deep feeling for him. You thought you were doing wrong, it was wrong. You can’t sleep with anyone like this. The realisation make you push Yoongi so hard.

He was at a verge of kissing your lips but the sudden push was unexpected for him. He got shuttered and hold the other side of the couch. He looks at you in a awe. You were looking at him in a deep guilt. Your face was telling you that it was wrong.

“What’s happened?” Yoongi innocently asked and came forward to you.

“Don’t touch me! It’s wrong.” You yelled at him as you run towards your room.

You heard him shout at you for what’s the matter or why you suddenly reacted like that as you’re the one you wanted all of this. But blaming and treating him like that, he felt so miserable. He realised that you ain’t the random hook up for only one night but he carries deep feeling for you. He should be sorry, he was wrong he accepted. But reacting like that was so astonishing for him.

Yoongi pushed your door and shouted for you. But there you were lying senselessly at your bed. Your face was pale and heart with a heavy weigh of guilt. You shouldn’t act like a kid. You wanted all of that, you started it and not him. You were wrong, but you haven’t the courage to tell him why you did that to him. Maybe tomorrow, you can tell him that Jimin was all over your head that time.

“Yoongi, can I explain this to you tomorrow. Please, leave me alone.” You yelled at him across the door.

Yoongi sighed “sure, I also have something to explain you. I can wait.” And he sadly walked at his room.

The whole night Yoongi’s mind keep on thinking about you. He can’t any more relay his feelings to himself. He needs to tell you what he feels for you. That he don’t think you as a one time hook up but a forever home. He decides to tell you his genuine feelings tomorrow as soon as you’re good to talk to him.

Tomorrow arrives, your guilt was eaten you up badly. Without wasting your time you walked to Yoongi’s room. You already prepared your words what you will tell him. That you like Jimin and that you can’t break his trust. Also you should be sorry for the last night because you make a move first but you were also the same person who weirdly ran off without saying anything.

“Yoongi! Can we talk?” You said glancing at the floor that shows you felt guilty.

He was still on his bed half asleep, in his rapsy voice “are you okay?”

“Y-ye.. n-no. I’m not. I really felt so bad for last night.” You stumbled.

“It’s completely okay. Consent is more important than anything. But -” Yoongi got intreuppted by you.

“No, I want to do. I mean I’m sorry. There is a reason why I didn’t want to have anything now with you.” You slowly mumbled.

“I understand. I’m good, don’t worry.” Yoongi yawned. You felt everything goes back that it use to and you left for your college. But the midway of his room Yoongi called you again.

“Excuse me, if you’re not in a hurry can I tell you something?” Yoongi was no more a half dead human but his tone shifted to seriousness.

“Sure, anything important?”

“Well, let’s have a sit. It’s important for me.” You sat at the edge of his bed.

“Oh! You okay?”

“Something is really eating me up, I don’t know how to tell you but I think I really feel attached to you. You does feel home. Always I think about you. You keep buzzing inside my head. I feel for you… Deeply.” Yoongi patiencely confronted everything. His eyes were glancing at your bracelet as he is bad at making eye contact.

Your eyes were no longer want to hide but you without blinking looked at his pale fluffy face. He like you, he mean he really feel for you, in real. The topsy turvey land appears infront of you. Just right now, you were going to confront to Jimin about his feelings and before that someone else did to you. The heart inside knows that Yoongi never jokes around, he say what he feels. But he still didn’t broke up with his girlfriend and what about those days when he completely cuts you off. You remembered all of this.

“Oh! I-i … Are you serious? You never even want to talk to me. You ignored me, remember?” You ranted angrily.

“Yes, I do ignore you but you know what’s the reason? I feel attracted to you, I can’t resist to talk to you, I always think about you and your little things hurts me easily. But I don’t want to cheat on my ex girlfriend so I simply say a goodbye. Though after all these months you can see where I’m!” Yoongi put over his point nonchalantly.

“Ah! Yoongi? You did all these because of some unfelt feelings! At last you need to tell me. But this is too late. I already feel for someone else.” You nervously ended your words.

“I understand but don’t you also feel the same way at some point? Don’t you also feel attracted towards me?” He passionately glance at you, his high voice pitch echoes all through his room.

“What if I used to do? Now, things are changed.” You screamed.

“Nothing changed. You still have feelings for me. Or else you would not want to fuck me!” The total atmosphere shifted into a peeaceful procession. Yoongi ranted the words which are harsh and real. You do feel the same way he does, but what about Jimin. God have a sinful duty to only designated single soulmate to oneself. You feel for true and you ain’t a traitor.

“Don’t you also? What are you doing at your so called friends house cause your girlfriend kick you out. And middle of your break up you’re hitting on your friend’s sister. Also trying your level best to make her fall for you.” You calmly stated. But your neurons are burning inside.

“And she’s falling for me? Isn’t she?” Yoongi in the heat of the debate flirtatiously walked up to you.

“Yes, she did. But I know I’m not a traitor like you. Now fuck off. Also today I’m gonna confess to Jimin. Pray that he also likes me. Now, good bye.” You pushed Yoongi out of your sight and walk up to the main door.

“May Jimin and you never meet again.” Yoongi chuckled at his words. You only rolled your eyes and left for college.

Fall of the darkness after a heavy heart break take lots of sadness. That numb cold weather with a wreaking heart gives shivering pain in your wholesome heart. You didn’t expected that, you never thought that but initially it happened. He said the most cruel words you never even thought he would know. You cried for the last time he did said 'goodbye’ not with a smiling innocent face but with a smug showing he played with your feelings. The words ’ I’d never even thought of you around my arms’ was spitted  by Jimin. He betrayed you. But the last line stuck to your soul 'do you think I would let you suck my dick, y/n? Haven’t you seen yourself! You’re a pity. Go find someone else to do this shit. Good bye’ and he smirkingly ended your beautiful and hopefull day.

You cried under the dark and cold rainy evening. You just want to ran into your bed and cried for hours that you’re wrong. The heavy rain drenched all your clothes and you. Without waiting for the bus you walked down all the street still numb and overthinking in your head. No one loves you right now, whom do you want to live for? Under the nature’s water your own tears vanished.

It take no time to measure your home distance. You shut the door so loudly that you also got out of those painful thought. You are broke, your heart is. The pain has no bounds. The drenched clothes can’t match your drenched soul. Already the winter rain is eating you up but you need more coldness to be out of this burning world. You cried loudly sitting at the couch. Hearing you Suga came and look a glance at you. He didn’t said anything, just standing there quietly like observing your intentions. You felt his glance, you looked at his pale face with your small eyes. You wanted him to ask you about the pain you’re feeling, about the situation you’re in and about everything which breaks your heart. But you don’t why your heart beating and wanting him to console you. You aren’t about this side of yours. Your feelings are confused more than numb.

’ Aren’t you gonna ask me anything?’ you screamed in your teary voice.

Suga smiled ’ umm! I can see the rejection on your face.’

'shut the hell up. Everything happens because of you. I - I’ you screamed but the ending of your sentences vanished on your heavy crying voice.

Suga walk up to you and sit beside you ’ I understand everything. No need to cry this happens with everyone.’

’ Suga, if you don’t know how to console someone then it best to shut your pity mouth.’ you aggressively pushed him away.

’ Wow girl, is it so? In the morning you also broke my heart in the same way. You don’t know how much I care for you, how much I need you now. But you! You just spit some cruel words and not even regretting. This is how you feel when someone broke your heart.’ Suga bashed on you.

You look dumbfound. You’re processing everything he said but you realized he ain’t right. You need to correct him. 'Why’d you came in my life? Huh! I was so happy without talking to you after you stop talking. I do have feelings for you and you clearly know each and everything. You broke my heart first. And again when I’m finally good with a boy, you came back. You don’t know how much you broke my feelings internally from a long time. And you’re giving me this fucking reason?’ you finished and ran to your room and lock yourself under the cold shower.

Suga just for a whole minute hear your words again. He can’t processed that you liked him before even he does. And the fact that you still have feelings for him. His heart got flutter and a pound of sadness hugs his heart. He felt guilty of treating you like that. But he no more wants to be a heartbreaker. He wants to prove you that he loves you, a lot. And want to promise you that he ain’t like those flirty brat to goof around. He’s the sky of your earth that’s permanent and no one else is allowed here.

He ran towards your room and screamed at the top of his lungs when he can’t see you there 'y/n, I’m sorry!’ You heard his voice but weeped under the shower. Your voice is enough to know where are you. He opened the door of the wash room and saw you under the shower with all your drenched clothes.

'Y/n, what’s wrong? You will get cold.’ he softly said and came towards the shower the knob.

'just get out, Suga. Leave me alone.’ you screamed.

'calm down, let me turn the shower off.’ he said softly as he lean towards you to turn it off.

You pushed him ’ can’t you hear me, leave me alone .You brat!’

Suga tilt a little but he pushed you against the shower wall and pinned you down “shut up. I told you I’m here for you.’ he said in his low cold voice which spend shiver down your spine. You both got drenched in that cold water. The shower is still on and you’re numb by Suga’s dominance.

You look at his fierce eyes and broke down 'I-I am hurt. I don’t want anything.’ He still pinned you down the wall.

He said  'You want me. Don’t you?’ and looked in your eyes.

You’re feelings are peeping out and you can’t withstand the man before you. The gorgeous, tall and broke man said enough to console your feelings. Your eyes can’t resist those plum lips to kiss on. He’s unknowingly hot and you accepted it. You tiptoed and kissed him while your tears are still all over your face.

Suga is deep down kissing you and your whole sad soul. You loved it, you geniunely did. The kiss was intense and passionate. His hands trail down to your head and lean you more to have a perfect kiss which he was imagining for years. Out of breath you broke the kiss and sighed. He himself lean down and put both of your forward together. You both heavily breathed and smiled at each other.

"Thanks.” Suga calmly said.

You look at him with love in your eyes and “I’m not stopping with just a kiss. I’d been thinking about this for over years. Now, that you’re here, I can’t leave you. Just tell me you also carry that deep feelings for me.”

He paused for a moment and complete silence surronds that freezing cold shower leaving you both a hot mess. You again think about doing something nonsense.

Suga take a deep breath “ Y/n, I feel you’re the one I have been loosing for years because you were always there for me to find you. But I never took initiative to find you. Please I really do li- like you. Do-dont ever leave me.”

He stutters and hugged you so hard. The moment filled you with joy but often reality strikes everyone so hard. Under the shower, two humans both in love with eachother having a special moment yet the bang in door wakes both of you up.

Suga hesitantly look outside the shower door to look if anyone was there but again doorbell rang and to both of your surprises, it’s Seokjin.

You are still figuring out if telling your brother about you and Suga is a good option.

yoongz’s cheeks uwu-i was debating for a while whether or not i should post this here because i know

yoongz’s cheeks uwu

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i was debating for a while whether or not i should post this here because i know most of my followers are book based, but i figure i should probably be more active here too! i’ll still post fanart if i do it but i’ll probably transition over a bit to bts as well! hope you guys don’t mind!


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“Into The New Year & Decade With BTS”I wanted to post this on New Years Day but it was no where

“Into The New Year & Decade With BTS”

I wanted to post this on New Years Day but it was no where near finished soooo here it is 4 days later! 

I wanted to make an ot7 artwork for the new year and new decade. It feels special. Not only were the boys at Times Square performing and was there for the count down into the new year, but it was special to me because 3 years ago they performed on New Years and that was truly the time I sat down and realized I loved these boys. So for them to come back and actually perform in front of millions at Times Square this time, and also be there to celebrate going into the new decade at that moment…I truly felt like we all went into this new time full of opportunities in the future, together. 

So here is going into the New Year and Decade with BTS. <3

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DIGITAL ART

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ART ON:

Instagram:@/_gxner_

twitter: @/gxner_art

redbubble! see link below

( PRINTS ON REDBUBBLE )

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[ DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION, THANK YOU ] <3


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Nerve || KNJ

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Nerve [Namjoon x Reader]

Prompt-@casnextdoor

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Part 22.5 - Yami Y/n

Part 23 || Vindication

Part 23.5- Crisscross

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Genre - cheating; aftermath; husband au;

Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.

Warning - Cheating(Aftermath);

Word Count - 6.3k

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A/N - Additional Warning - The topics in the following update hit closer to home for some of us than I care to admit. Should the concept of future disbandment be a trigger, I suggest treading carefully.

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‘No, you’re incorrect, you fuck!’ You slammed the damned laptop closed after trying your password three times.

You glared in Jimin’s direction and your hand twitched for the stapler when you heard his loud convulsive laughter from opposite the table.

Instead of following through, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. 'Jiminie,’ you placed a saccharine smile on your face, still not opening your eyes, 'shut the fuckup.’

For the life of you, you couldn’t remember your password. It was muscle memory for the longest time and the desktop showed up on its own some days. But today, when you actually needed to get into the work laptop, you couldn’t remember your password.

'What do you expect me to do, when you react like that. It’s entertaining to me.’

You frowned, but didn’t reply. A part of you was happy you made him laugh, but your more serious side needed to know what your executive assistant was up your ass about. Ria had been blowing up your phone all morning. The woman was supposed to be enjoying her Christmas holidays away from the snow in the bustle of Mumbai and yet, she was texting you at odd hours of the morning to check your mail.

A part of you felt ashamed, being a business owner meant that work didn’t stop and there should always be an open door for communication, but your last few weeks were a whirlwind to say the least and your first baby, your Arem, was being neglected.

The company was still standing, of course, you had the best staff, a loyal right-hand like Ria and a legal and PR team at the ready, but it deserved more attention when the new year kicked off.

'Close your eyes and do it.’ Jimin suggested from his sunk-in position in the office chair. His back was going to hurt later.

'Yeah, if it’s muscle memory, it’ll work.’ Tae backed him up from his position on the couch, at your right, his finger swiping aimlessly on one of his socials.

The soulmates had accompanied you to work, which wouldn’t even be an option if Ria just fucking told you what the issue was. The problem arose when you realized your work email wasn’t signed in on your phone. So work was the next best bet, because your work email was signed onto the work laptop. Usually you’d sync the devices, but it wasn’t working for some reason. And the only device automatically signed in…at work. Hence, your predicament. Technology was a blessing and a curse.

You threw your hands up in the air. 'I’m not usually like this! You know I keep lists and passwords and I know what’s going on.’

Taehyung shrugged. 'Chill, everyone forgets their passwords.’

You caught Jimin’s gaze and he motioned to the laptop with his eyes. Oh yeah. You were supposed to close your eyes and input your password.

Incorrect.

Fuck this!’ you pulled out your phone, having no choice but to get in touch with your IT department head.

Y/n [10.31] : Seo-Hyun, apologies for being an inconvenience on your holiday, but can you give me access to my work laptop please.

Seo-Hyun [10.32] : Do you ever take a break? Also, this is the third time this year I’m overriding on a day off. Did you forget again?

Y/n [10.33] : If you double up, I’ll get your department that expensive cappuccino machine you’ve been raving about.

Y/n [10.33] : Please.

Y/n [10.33] : I’ll explain at our annual meeting.

Seo-Hyun [10.34] : Give me a couple of minutes.

Y/n [10.34] : I’ll put the order in ASAP.

‘Are you sure you typed it in right?’ Tae asked, as you drummed your nails on the table in wait.

You nodded, feeling too antsy to reply. Ria was a professional. A cold, calculated, meticulous professional. She wouldn’t push if it wasn’t urgent, but also, if it was that urgent why couldn’t she just tell you.

‘Okay,’ Tae came to stand at your table, ‘how about, close your eyes, and as you feel the distance between the keys, open your eyes and make sure you press the correct one. So one key at a time.’

‘Come on, we’ll do it with you.’ Jimin leaned over the table toward you.

Tae clicked on the spacebar. ‘What’s your password?’

‘AremArc, shift, the first three numbers on the top.’

Tae and Jimin met each other’s eyes and then yours. ‘How the hell are you going to remember that type of password.’

‘It’s always been AremArc,’ you averted your gaze, ‘it was my dad’s, I just added the numbers.’

Sensing the change in your tone, they let the subject drop immediately. In all honesty, you didn’t have an explanation as to why you carried over your dad’s password. It just felt weird to notuse it.

Taehyung moved to cover your eyes with his hand and Jimin pulled your hands forward to hover at the keyboard.

‘Okay, feel it out.’

You rested the front of your wrists directly in front of the spacebar, following Jimin’s words, you typed without thinking.

You knew the Arem had a capital letter, Jimin helped with that, the Arc had another and then Tae held the shift button while you typed in the numbers.

‘Ah, you hesitated!’ Taehyung exclaimed.

Opening your eyes you watched your fingers hover over the numbers. Your ring finger felt right, as it rested on the ‘1’, the middle finger on the ‘2’ but your forefinger was…off. It was curved to match the ‘3’, but you didn’t remember curving the finger. Straightening it out, your forefinger met the ‘4’ and that felt right. A side glance affirmed that Tae still had the shift key down, so you tapped on the ‘4’.

Almost immediately the desktop came into view.

‘Well,’ Tae straightened up and crossed his arms. ‘We see why it was such a mission before.’

‘Thank you,’ You muttered ruefully, trying to hide your smile as Jimin reached over to fistbump his soulmate.

Looking back at your screen, you watched as a mouse moved on the screen of its own accord and a white pop up box requesting the change of your password was ticked. Seo-Hyun’s teamviewer did it’s thing and you panicked for your phone to tell her you got in.

'Check your stuff,’ Jimin reminded you, ‘it’s almost time to leave for the studio.’

'Actually,’ your doors swung open, revealing Seokjin, 'we just decided to crash here.’

One by one, they found a place in your office, as if they’d been here a hundred times and felt right at home.

You raised your eyebrows. 'I don’t recall giving anyone access.’

Unbothered, Jungkook plopped himself next to Tae, who returned to his original seat, Hoseok lounged opposite them, his arms spread wide across the back of the sofa and crossed legs on the table in front of him. Yoongi went to stand by your floor length windows, Jin came to stand by your chair, Namjoon sat on your desk on your right after pressing a light kiss to your hair and Ji-ho, your favorite lawyer, placed his books on your desk, evidently claiming the office chair, next to Jimin.

Your question might imply such, but you were far from annoyed. Your family was allowed in any of your spaces at any time, but you were confused as to how they got in.

During the holiday season, only you and necessary personnel knew the codes to get in and out, unless you trusted someone enough to share them.

None of the band members had codes to your company, not even Namjoon, because business was business. They were idols, a band, your architecture firm was not on their daily route, not even Hoseok and Jin.

Hurudid have access… depending, because it would be futile to not give him a code considering he frequented Arem to update you and he was capable of acquiring any access codes on his own. Why fool yourself and waste either of your time?

The only other person who had access to any location you frequented and reason to make calls and perform actions without clearing it with you was – 'Kenta,’ Jin tapped your chair and answered your statement.

That one word puts you at ease. Kenta would have been subtle. Satisfied with the answer, you leaned back in your leather chair, and rested your elbows on either side, like a lady in wait.

'Why the location change?’ Jimin voiced your next question.

‘I don’t come here often.’ Ji-ho answered, as if that was enough explanation. ‘I love your view, y/n.’ He walked around the office, stopping to scan your shelf, his finger brushing across your Map of the Seven 7 Album before rounding on you. 'Can I visit you anytime?’

Namjoon gave him the side-eye.

Ji-ho played up his serious persona, but even you could see the glint in his eye.‘You know,’ he put both hands in his pockets, blatantly ignoring Namjoon’s gaze, ‘if ever paperwork needs signing… or have a heart to heart or… something.’

‘Okay, let’s cut to the chase.’ Every single member smirked as Namjoon turned fully to Ji-ho who held his hands up in surrender.

Namjoon tried to be playful, you could see a smirk playing at the side of his lips, but it wasn’t genuine.

You could do nothing but shake your head at the situation.

Logically speaking, Ji-ho was a very handsome male, single, in a good job with impeccable financial wit and an open personality, but he would never make a move on you, he was very loyal to Namjoon and friends with him for a long time. But Namjoon, well… he was not logical when you were involved and even banter was a thin-ice sort of thing. Hoseok, Jin, the maknaes, even Yoongi, Namjoon would be fine with alone visits, but despite the deep friendship, Ji-ho was not family, he was not Kenta, and he existed outside the small circle of people Namjoon would trust blindly.

There was a difference with your husband. He loved deep, and he loved in levels. Love was love and trust was trust. Blind, unquestionable trust was a different tier.

Reaching over to lace your fingers through his, he looked down at you, a warm smile gracing his features, but his eyes were hard, serious, slightly protective even.

You were reminded all over again, of how deeply embedded he was in your existence, how there would never and could never be anyone else. The past was the past. It had to be. You had a future to build with this man.

Ji-ho made his way to his seat and placed three different booklets in front of Namjoon. Within those seconds, as a unit, the energy in the room shifted. It could practically be felt, the way the band stood at attention, despite their relaxed stances.

‘Wait!’ Seokjin stopped Ji-ho just as he opened his mouth. 'I brought bubble wrap.’

True enough, Jin pulled out a piece of bubble wrap from his coat pocket.

'Why do you need bubble wrap?’ Ji-ho asked with genuine confusion.

'For y/n.’ Jin passed it over. 'Bubble wrap relaxes her.’

You giddily, made grabby hands and started popping them one by one, quietly and in sequence.

'Okay. So. What does everyone know?’

'Wait, wait,’ Taehyung interrupted Ji-ho, 'Jin hyung, we’ll be using swear words.’

It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t lost on anyone that Taehyung was not asking for permission.

'Since we’re being honest, hyung.’ Jimin came to his soulmate’s aid.

'Namjoon?’ The man in question turned his chin toward the leader.

Your husband looked down at you and you shrugged. Swear words and blunt talk did nothing for you or to you. You preferred it.

Namjoon pressed, 'Are you comfortable with that?’

You assured him. 'I’ve thought worse.’

'And said it.’ Jimin muttered under his breath.

You kicked him under the table and felt satisfaction at his soft 'Ow’.

'Hyung,’ Namjoon addressed his Jin, 'no language barriers since this is an open and honest discussion.’

Seokjin sighed. 'I need bubble wrap too.’

'Okay,’ Ji-ho, started, 'again,’ he looked around the room, searching for any opening mouths and add ons, 'What do we know?’

The answers came fast.

'That Namjoon hyung cheated at a bar sometime in October.’ Jungkook stated.

You didn’t even flinch, neither did Namjoon. Props to both of you. Either it was getting better, you were stronger, or maybe it was because of who stated it, Jungkook held no malice in his tone. He’d just stated a fact.

Smart move. Coming from a hyung, it could have been taken as disappointment, from a maknae, as judgment, but Jungkook was one of the maknaes that provided clarity instead of further confusion. Fact was fact. That’s all it was now. Namjoon had cheated. It was time to move on.

'That the bitch signed two NDAs one of which cannot be used against her and the second has a partial loophole to work with.’ Hoseok looked to be sucking on a sweet in his mouth, the round shape of it being pushed to either cheek when he spoke, 'She also submitted photos via her brother, which we got on video feed from Heeyoung.’

'Maiya makes herself look put together,’ Yoongi has his back turned to everyone, hands in his pockets as he watched the skyline before him, 'but she’s had a hard life, a hard past and despite her job, she makes it look like she comes from money, which we all initially thought, but she’s struggling and she’s taking care of her problematic brother.’

'A brother who was down the wrong path and caught in such, and is still on the run.’ You felt Jin’s hand by your head, on the back of your chair. 'She kept blaming a roommate that she supposedly had and now can’t be found. A bullshit story if we’ve ever heard one.’ Jin derided without humor, 'Why lie if you can’t do it properly?’ He asked no one in particular.

'Her lawyer fell off the face of the earth after leaving a prestigious company and has probably washed her hands of her brother’s case. So,’ Jimin clicked his tongue, 'no way out, no end in sight. A bar, an idol, money, … five seconds of fame.’

'So she’s broke, desperate and sees Namjoon hyung as an opening,’ Taehyung stands up, and walks around Hoseok’s couch, 'she wants to wash her hands off the situation once she signs the NDA and gets her money and payment from the company for keeping her mouth shut, maybe to save her brother to pay that lawyer, or buy a new life altogether…’ he stops next to his Yoongi hyung. 'But then she gets vindictive when we dismiss her. Greedy. Manipulative.’

'But we have y/n’s NDA,’ you felt Namjoon’s pride in you, his tone holding nothing back, 'with an acute connection, but a connection nonetheless, which we enforce.’

And ruin her.

You blinked at the intrusive thought. Blowing out a breath, quickly and quietly so as not to draw any attention from the men beside you, you pushed the negativity away. Yes, you hated her. You wanted to wring her fucking neck, truly and probably go to far. Even then, you might not feel remorse. In reality you weren’t capable of such cruelty, but that didn’t mean you weren’t angry.

'Alright,’ Ji-ho clapped his hand together, 'everyone’s on par.’

He pulled forward one of the booklets and entered lawyer mode. 'Well, let’s not beat around the bush, the brother is going to be taken into custody, we know this. He can’t clear his name. And he’s racked up quite the rap sheet.’ He picked up what looked like a criminal record and scanned it quickly before putting it back. 'Unfortunately,’ he looked up at you and sighed. 'There is nothing that can be done to save him, from what I know, because there are no witnesses on his side, the owner caught him fair and square and the video feed wasn’t working.’

Steepling his fingers, he watched as Yoongi moved to stand behind Jin, leaning casually against the wall, hands still in his pocket.

You understood. Some felt closer to others. Some felt more protective of others. It was why Jin leaned on your office chair, his forearms crossed over the back as he loomed over you. Yoongi behind him.

Hoseok and Jungkook were up and both leaning on the back of a single seater couch, crossed arms, facing you.

'We have to remember that it’s deep in the holiday season.’ The lawyer leaned back in his chair as Taehyung, last to form the protective circle, sat on your desk, his feet on the space of Jimin’s chair. It was a laughable situation. There was enough space, but everyone practically hovered over one another and it felt… right. 'The best I could do from my side was get a signature from our CEO on a written document stating the threat of her being sued and that she could be required to pay’ he reached over to open the second booklet, 'financial damages and related costs, as we have stated.’ He put the page down. Most probably a mock up of her NDA.

'Why can’t things be simple?’ Hoseok rolled his eyes in impatience.

You tilted your head to the side. Your Hobi, lovely Hobi, filled with so much love. The person that would eventually feel the full force of that love, would be truly blessed.

'If only.’ Taehyung derided after his hyungs annoyed statement.

'So now, we just have another pending issue.’ Jin asked pointedly, his arms crossed, making him out to be the hyung with the most business sense and legal knowledge.

'Well, yeah, I can’t call a court in session in the middle of the holiday, hyung, especially one of this magnitude. It’s not like we’re on a remand list. This is new.’ Ji-ho held his own against the oldest irritation. 'This band, even a minor picture, of someone unknown, a random fact that could be taken negatively, would cause uproar. Your fans are… passionate.’

You dropped your face to hide your smile and popped another couple of bubbles slowly.

Internally, you cheered Ji-ho on. The boys were very protective of their ARMY. Rightly so. But being a part of them, having your own hidden stan Twitter, having read Tumblr fanfic and seen reactions first-hand, some of them were borderline problematic and delusional.

The good ones made up for it. Yeah. Some of the soft stans were so loving and pure. Some of the hardstans were the most honest and savage. They made up for it.

'So, I will enforce this as soon as I can, and I will in no way back down, or settle for any sum of money because,’ he looked at you and Namjoon, 'it’s the two of you. Regardless of the shortcomings you see in yourselves, you are two upstanding citizens in society. You, y/n, represent yourself, a progressive female that develops the community and country, and you represent Namjoon, as a backbone of the band, his family and the leader that he is. Namjoon I don’t need to explain to you who you are.

Because of this, a case like this would draw a lot of attention. She would not look good of course, but neither will we.’

You liked how he said 'we’. As a company you would face this. Together.

'The question,’ Ji-ho stood up, and walked to the center of the room, addressing all of you at once, 'will be why are we going so hard, why are we pushing for this.’

'But first,’ he looked at Yoongi, 'What are NDAs?’

The man looked mildly startled, but replied after clearing his throat. 'Non-disclosure agreements.’

'Yes, but what do they stand for.’

'They’re a barrier.’ Namjoon narrowed his eyes, following Ji-ho’s prompting. 'They safeguard, doing their best to keep them in place as well as state consequences of crossing those barriers.’

'Exactly.’ A curl of his lip on one end, and then poker face. 'If we enforce this NDA, the consequences for Maiya Song will already be taking place.’ He motioned with his hands, from one position to another. Moving from one side to the other. You blinked. Like crossing a bridge.

Jin straightened up so fast you felt a draft by the movement. 'Which means there’s no barrier.’

His tone had your eyes widening.

'Which means she can reveal that I cheated.’ Namjoon mimicked his hyungs tone.

The realization was heavy, and caused internal panic to start building within you. Because how the fuck could you be so stupid.

Ji-ho stood in front of your family, unnerved. 'I am here with paperwork that I will get to processing in the new year, and I will take her down. I needed all of you, because I am asking the seven of you… to think about this again.’ You watched his eyes move to each face. 'Because once Namjoon is labeled a cheater, there is significant risk for not only him, but for this band.’

The silence that descended on your family… was deafening.

This was… this was new information. You wanted to laugh. Hysterically so. The bubble wrap discarded on your desk you viewed the small samurai sword set in front of you.

Yoongi had gifted you those. For the longest time, Yoongi kept you at arms length. It was who he was. Because he cared about his band, he cared about his brothers and his music. No one had the right to ruin that.

But here you were, getting justice, for a fucking blowjob, being vindictive, letting them go through with this when the world could turn against them.

They wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t get it. Namjoon was not a bad person. Namjoon was the best human being. He was so much more than just a leader and a millionaire and an idol. He wove dreams from threads as delicate as spiderwebs, he valued the world around him, his surroundings, his family, his parents and his brothers, his life, his heart, his soul was built on the monumental victories of sharing his feelings, of his words translating onto paper, to create new meanings, to create a safety net that held people to the Earth between life and death.

People needed to see that. People needed to understand. One mistake didn’t undo his rights. And that one mistake couldn’t steal six other futures.

You felt the sting at the edge of your eye. Your throat tightened at the thought of any of their realities being altered.

The mere potential of someone pushing them into early retirement, the alarm that made wee-woo fucking sounds in your brain sounded out at the thought of the band nolo her being a band.

No comeback. No more harmonies and concepts. No tours. No concerts. Separate ways.

You looked up at Namjoon, almost hyperventilating, in his separate lifestyle he’d choose music, composing, mentoring, producing like Yoongi, but none of it, absolutely none of it would go smoothly if he was labeled a cheater.

'Well, we’ve had a good run.’ Jungkook pulled you out of your thoughts.

The last person you expected to say something like that.

'Excuse me?’ You seethed. Clenching your fists to keep from growling at the maknae.

He met your hard stare, unflinching. 'We have.’

'No,’ you stood up and pushed your chair back with enough force to send it backwards. 'Hello. This,’ you pointed at everyone, including him, 'is the band. The fucking band, we are talking about. I don’t need to say the full fucking name for any of you to know what I’m emphasising.’ You felt Namjoon’s hand at your back and closed your eyes to take a deep shuddering breath. Tears spilled out of your eyes. You couldn’t pinpoint why. 'This changes everything, Ji-ho.’

'I can’t believe we didn’t think of this.’ Jin whispered next to you as if you weren’t shouting.

'Realistically speaking,’ Namjoon mumbled, 'as cocky as it may sound, I have pulled in the industry. I would be the known face, and she would be the outsider.’ His voice grew loud. 'Therefore my supposed story is more believable.’

Ji-ho shook his head. 'You’d still be under scrutiny. Everything would change. You would not be the desired, saintlike, grounded, humble male that everyone sees of you.’

'You will hear words like, 'I knew something was wrong with him.“ You scoffed, willing yourself to stop leaking fucking tears when you weren’t crying. Frustration was a helluva bitch.

'Somethingis wrong with me.’ He plastered his body against yours. 'I cheated on my wife. I did the wrong thing. I deserve anything I get for it.’

You attempted to shrug out of his hold as he grabbed a tissue to wipe your cheeks. 'This isn’t just about you.’ Grabbing the tissue from your husband’s hand, you turned back to Ji-ho. 'Don’t do it.’

'Now, y/n,’ he offered you an apologetic smile, 'unfortunately, your say in this, has to be put aside. I need the band’s consent. Management will be on your asses as soon as I get this paperwork to them, you all know this.’

Yoongi pushed off the wall. 'Why does it sound like you’re convincing us to not sue her?’

Was he out of his mind? The most ruthless of the group. The most protective. Was he actually considering going through with this?

'I adore y/n, hyung. But this isn’t just about your band. This is the intent of the message you carry across in your songs, this is the validity of your statements, these are profits, and finance, and stocks. It’s tourism and globalization. This band is not just a band.’

No one could dispute his statement.

'This is a family first, before a band.’ Jin stood tall, taking his place as the solid head of a structure. 'We understand where Ji-ho is coming from. So, everyone… thoughts.’

Taehyung waved his hand. 'Sue the bitch.’

'Y/n deserves justice.’ Jimin didn’t look up, his finger tracing a pattern on Taehyung’s pants.

'Hey now, wait –,’ you protested.

'We’ll survive,’ Hoseok raised his eyebrow at you, 'we can do other things.’

They were being so nonchalant, so agreeable. What the fuck!

Jungkook nodded to Ji-ho. 'Do your thing, hyung.’

'Guys, stop!’ You shouted, but no one seemed to be listening.

'Priorities change.’ Yoongi added. Somehow the two words said so much.

'That’s it!’ You banged the table. 'Are you all crazy? We can’t have anyone knowing exactly what happened.’

'Baby,’ Namjoon soothed, crowding you with his presence, his scent, his hand on your thigh.

He was calling to you so calmly. As if you weren’t in a frenzy, as if the consequences be damned.

You broke out of his hold and walked up to Ji-ho threateningly. 'Fuck that bitch. And fuck her brother and fuck what happened. Whatever. It’s over. She doesn’t have any other leverage, since she handed the pictures. The NDA is still in place to make sure she keeps her cock sucking mouth shut and she has her money.’ You breathed hard as you offloaded on the lawyer who looked taken aback. You didn’t care. You didn’t give a fuck.

Raising a shaky hand, you pointed a threatening finger in his face. 'You will save this band. And you will save my husband. We are not risking this.’ You closed your hand into a fist and turned away, hands on your hips. The emotions churned inside you as you held your head. Feeling a fresh wave of vindication, you whipped back to him. 'Let her go. Let her brother go. Fuck her lawyer and her case. Screw her plans, fuck her life, and fuck her fucking lipstick color, just fuck it!’

Namjoon grabbed your arm and pulled you into his hold before you could say anymore. Shaking like a leaf, you hid in his jacket, in his warmth, wanting to scream at the new developments and downright refusing to accept the end of one of most glorious eras you had ever had the blessing to experience.

You dared not peep at Namjoon. You knew what you would find. Sadness and resignation only, as he held you so close to his heart. His arms around you were so tight, it was as if he wanted to keep you there forever. He started rocking from side to side and kissed your forehead.

'You’re going to court Ji-ho.’

You attempted to push out of his hold, your panic rising again, but he held strong, he held you to him. He was making himself clear, he would be making this decision. He would not listen to you.

'Namjoon,’ you tried shoved at his chest and tried to protest, but it came out muffled.

'No.’ He held strong at your neck and met your eye. 'I’ve wronged you. And you have done enough for me and this family. It’s time for us to show you how much we love you. It’s time for change.’

'ARMY’s –,’

’– will understand.’ Jin completed for you.

You looked above Namjoon’s shoulder blade to see your comfort human offer a sad smile.

You closed your eyes and stopped shoving, burying yourself in Namjoons hold.

'I am human, y/n.’ He sounded like he was reminding himself as much as you. 'And if your true love can accept that, and make sense of it, then my real fans will. If it comes out.’

'Joon, please.’ You whispered into his shoulder.

'Shh,’ he rocked you again. He kissed your forehead again. 'Shh.’

In any other setting, with anyone else, you would never let anyone see what power Namjoon had over you, but you couldn’t care, this time, power dynamics were the least of your problems.

'Unless…’ Yoongi murmured.

Your eyes snapped open to the male behind Jin.

'Unless what?’ Jin voiced your question.

'Namjoon makes a statement instead.’ Yoongi looked behind you, silently asking Ji-ho for his opinion.

'Take the ball completely out of her court.’ A deep respect laced the words that came from behind you.

'No.’ You shook your head stubbornly. 'As admirable and as brave as that is. We’d rather not go that far.’

What was the use? The consequences racing through your mind was for a 'what if’ situation. If Namjoon put out a statement, it would be a sure thing.

Namjoon shifted you back, keeping you at arm’s length. 'You trust me right. Right, y/n?’

'I do.’ The words left your lips, as your fingers dug into his forearm. You were under scrutiny. Such a question, in such a setting, a moment’s hesitation would have been warranted, and it would have made a world of difference.

But the fact that you could answer, as you looked into your husband’s face and held onto his hands, in front of your whole family, without doubt – it was a testament to the strength of the foundation of your marriage.

Namjoon leaned forward, an arm curling around your waist, a thumb and forefinger tipping up your chin. 'Will you leave me,’ he breathed against you, 'when the world thinks bad of me?’

The refutation was instant. 'No!’ Your hands curled into fists on his jacket. 'We’re in this together.’

A slow smirk graced his face and uplifted your heart. He brushed his nose against yours and… you crumbled. Closing your eyes, taking in the feel of him, his unshakeable resolve wafted over you. That easily, the fight was lost to you.

'Ji-ho.’ Your husband lifted his head and said after a moment. 'A statementif things go south.’

'I’ll inform the authorities about her brother. And send the letter thereafter.’

You could feel Ji-ho move, stopping directly behind you. You felt a gentle hand on your hair a second later.

'Sleep with one eye open, Ji-ho.’ You threatened lowly.

Namjoon’s lips twitched.

No one said anything as the lawyer sighed, gathered his stuff and showed himself out.

The ones left, were family only. This was the necessary circle.

Namjoon met his hyungs eyes and then each of the members in turn, a silent message that bared so much understanding, passing between each of them, his knees buckled and you yelped, grabbing a hold of whatever material you could between your fingers as Hoseok and Jungkook caught him and Jimin pushed Ji-ho’s discarded chair under him.

'Joon,’ you whispered in concern as he dropped his head in his hand and covered his eyes with his palm.

You stood next to him, petting his hair, his face near your abdomen. No one said anything.

He finally looked up, after minutes of silence. 'I’m sorry.’

'No.’ The person you least expected, came toward his fellow 94-liner. 'No more apologizing.’

Hoseok looked ready for war. It did everyone good to see that the most optimistic one, was finally on the same page as the leader.

'I don’t know if she will reveal it.’ Jin had a Jungkook attached to his back. You almost smiled, the maknae would go to his comfort place too. 'And if she does there’s no guarantee that our days as a band will come to an end. But we always knew it was numbered.’

'Our ages.’ Yoongi stated, his focus back on the skyline.

'Our schedules.’ Taehyung suggested.

That reason would come from him because he would go into acting full-time.

'Our lives.’ Jimin muttered. His leg up on the chair, the other resting below. 'We can finally have workable, breathable, lives.’

'And we’re adults now. It’s not always going to be hopeful and happy.’ Jungkook reminded everyone. The maknae had to know though, he would always be the baby.

'This could be a real outlook for everyone actually.’ Jin nodded his head as the wheels turned in his head. 'We’ve grown up, so why can’t our message?

In fact, our message only gets carried across as it does, because we’re being true to ourselves. Like what’s happening in our hearts and brains and our lives. It would only make sense to be true to ourselves and our journey by expressing it through our music.’

'We can all express this change through our music.’ Hoseok admitted, following his hyungs train of thought.

'There was a fear before of not being able to date or show significant others or get married because of the fan base and the demographic and the desirability,’ Taehyung looked up, and met Namjoon’s eyes, 'but you took that step hyung, and we are still thriving. We have packed schedules for at least the next two years and plenty of comebacks individually and together. We won’t fall apart yet. And we have time to put ourselves across and build our Plan B.’

'We are allowed to step out of the boundaries they had for us.’ Jin’s determination carried itself across. 'This is life and it will not always be great but we will learn from it. And maybe someone could save their marriage or think differently or remember to forgive when it’s necessary.’

'This band,’ Yoongi finally looked at you, 'is what it is, because we make our own path and take risks. And some of them were worth it.’ Seeing the tumultuous emotions on your face, that you felt inside, he looked away before continuing. 'And besides being a band, we are a family. We want wives. Kids. Lives. Soon.’

'No more running.’ Jimin stated, more to himself.

The wording confused you. Running? From what? From… who?

'I find it easy these days.’ Jungkook said from behind Jin’s back.

'What’s that, Kook?’ Jin asked over his shoulder.

'To not care about anyone’s approval and disapproval.’

Jungkook struggled a lot with himself and his fans. He didn’t want to embarrass anyone or feel embarrassed. Being himself was one thing, but for such a long time, he gave what was asked and showed only what was wanted. To say those words and be confident in himself… it was a feat.

You felt Namjoon’s palm at your back and the side of his face placed at your stomach.

Instantly your brain whipped up one word, 'submission.’

Namjoon, Kim Namjoon, the leader, the idol, the rapper, was holding onto you for strength, in front of his band.

You didn’t push him away. You were slightly confused with his actions. But you would never push him away. He needed comfort. His family was saving him from his own mess. He’d need all the strength you had to offer.

So you settled both your hands in his hair instead. His other arm pulled you closer to him straight after.

'Kook’s right.’ Taehyung reaffirmed his only dongsaeng’s words. 'When was the last time we looked for approval?’

'The only people that matter… are in this room.’ Hoseok crouched low, and Namjoon turned away from you to meet the eyes of his fellow 94 liner. Hoseok swallowed hard before saying his piece. ’'Even when this rain stops, when the clouds go away, I stand here, just the same.”

'Hobi –,’

Iam here.’ Hoseok touched Namjoon’s knee. 'Your best friend. I will be here through it all. We will do this.’ Once Joon nodded, Hoseok stood up and checked on each member. 'Everyone here needs to remember that there are always second chances, no matter what happens, and with whatever does happen, we can get through it together.’

Head nods, affirmations, high-fives were met all round and you bent forward to place a kiss on Namjoons head.

To others, it would seem dramatic. But to the band, to the ones that had experienced Hoseok and Namjoon first hand, it was a shift.

No one, no one ever, fucked with their family. Even backed into a corner, they would adapt and stay strong, and they would fight, should the need arise.

You always knew this day would come. But for it to be so real and for such a reason…

'Not that this is relevant at all,’ Taehyung lifted his shoulders, as if what he was about to say was no big deal, 'but y/n… what’s wrong with Maiya’s lipstick shade?’

Taglist - @casnextdoor@jaysdimples@belliebell@pinkcherrybombs@sweetjellyfishland@blushingatyou@jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue@somewhereinthestarss@k-brownsugar@namsona17@taejinxkoya@notsooperfect@zae007live@its-hopes-world@shina913@bri-mal@piecesofapril11@kissme-ornot@toriluvsfics@agustdmwah@lochness-butmakeitsexy@petalsofink@definetlythinkimanalien@masterpiecejoonie@gcintia@danietoww04@roguesthetic@rjsmochii@amymikaelson@hello-kittyy@mschievous247@onlythehobi@deliciousdetectivestranger@daddypkj@callmemadhatter@rkivecenter@codeinebelle@creolesoul2seoul[open]

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Part 22.5 - Yami Y/n

Part 23 || Vindication

Part 23.5 - Crisscross

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pairing(s): yoongi x reader, mentions of past hoseok x reader

summary:Min Yoongi saves a life and then has sex. Is it the best choice? No. Does he do it anyway? Yeah.

warnings: non-idol!AU; in which everyone makes bad choices; slow burn; rated M (18+) for language, mentions of drug use, mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts, mentions of past cheating, smut (oral, m and f receiving)

Fuck it.

He had to do something. Yoongi stood up, grabbing his phone. His white t-shirt got caught in the chair and he stumbled, cursing at himself. He was a mess already and nothing had happened yet. He grabbed his black sweatpants and yanked them on, opening his door with purpose. Being in limbo wasn’t going to help him, so it was time to take the situation in his own hands. He strode to her door, heart pounding in his chest.

Get a grip, he scolded himself.

He tapped his knuckle against her door, saying her name loudly. Startled by his own volume, he lowered his voice, chewing on his lower lip as he spoke.

“Hey, I want to show you my mixtape. If that’s okay with you,” he finished awkwardly, wincing. He should have thought about what to say. There was a long silence. He pressed his lips together. He was losing his nerve. Each second felt like an eternity.

And then he heard the rustle of fabric. He could sense a form on the other side of the door. For some reason, he lifted his hand and touched the wood, knowing it was the only thing separating them now.

“The song… the song we worked on. I really want you to hear it.” Please.

He heard the lock turn and the door opened. The eyes that looked at him, he would remember for the rest of his life. Bloodshot, giant black pools that threatened to swallow him alive and a sadness he knew all too well. Her hands were stuffed into the sleeves of her huge grey sweatshirt and the matching long shorts made her look even smaller, a tiny thing quivering in her doorframe.

He was tall enough to see past her, into her room. It was a neat room, except for the low table at the foot of her bed. The tabletop was covered in photos that he couldn’t quite see. And in the center was a glass palette.

With ten lines of white powder.

His eyes widened. Panic shot through his veins and he grabbed her collar, inspecting her face, her nose, dragging her into the room. She didn’t even fight him, a dead weight in his hands. Her expression was lifeless, tired.

“How much?” he scowled, “How much did you take? Tell me!”

“I didn’t take any yet,” she replied calmly. Too calmly.

“Don’t lie to me,” he growled. “You’re a drug addict.”

“I am not lying.”

His panic was thinning out into anger and confusion. And then she said it.

“I’m not a drug addict, Yoongi. I’m trying to die.”

He froze.

“W-what?”

He looked down again, at the pictures. They were pictures of two people. She was smiling in those photos, eye bright and reflective with the fullness of life. She looked younger, happier. Her arms wrapped around a young man, who had an equally bright smile, heart-shaped and cheerful.

It was slowly sinking in. He let her go, eyes scanning over the photos. Pictures of them in matching outfits. Pictures holding hands. Pictures of them kissing. He looked back to her and she was staring at the photographs too.

“Aren’t they nice?” She whispered softly. “They’re such nice pictures. He always took good pictures, my sunshine.” She chuckled darkly, an ugly sound. “But photos only highlight of the good times. They don’t show the bad times.” Her eyes closed as she took a deep breath. “They don’t show his coke habit. They don’t show me enabling his habit, becoming a runner so he could have easier access. They don’t show me begging and pleading, doing degrading things so he can get another dose.”

Her hands went to head. She gripped her hair, breaking his heart with every word.

“I killed him as much as he killed himself.”

The information hit him like a truck. Speechless, he began to piece things together. The signs were there from the beginning and he didn’t even think about it because he would have never fathomed this in his wildest dreams. Guilt and comprehension hit him all at once. She could have kept the door locked and snorted the cocaine. What if he hadn’t chosen this moment? What if he had waited ten more minutes? She could have overdosed and he wouldn’t have known until days later.

But she had opened the door. She opened the door and let him see.

“What happened?” he murmured quietly.

She threw her hands out of her hair, nails raking down her face and neck. “We had a stupid fight. I told him I would be there to help him detox. We tried,” she wailed, throwing her fists against the wall. “He was shivering and pleading and exhausted. He told me he couldn’t do it. I told him he could if he actually tried and he blew up, telling me I didn’t understand.” Her voice was a panicked ramble as if she was reliving that night. He wasn’t even sure if she remembered he was there anymore. “He kept yelling at me, saying all I had to do was call Seokjin and throw myself at him. I said I was done being Seokjin’s whore just so he could get high. He stormed out, screaming that he would get his own.” She slammed her fists against the wall, screaming into it. The sound chilled Yoongi to the bone. She continued, blind to his presence. “I should have chased after him.” She slid to the floor, knees smacking the hardwood hard. “I should have gone. But I was so tired. I was so tired of it.” Her voice dropped.

“I was tired of him and it haunts me every day.”

He swallowed. It was obvious she had never said this aloud before to anyone.

“Next thing I know, he’s dead because of dirty coke.” She shuddered, arms covering her head. “I handed him a dishonorable death and I didn’t even go to his fucking funeral.”

“Why… not?” he asked softly.

She cackled, a terrible sound. “Why would I go? I never met his family. I was his drug dealer.”

He turned to the pictures. “It looks like you were his girlfriend.”

She finally looked up at him. Her glare was so sharp it could cut steel. “And what if they found out? Mom, Dad, meet my girlfriend who also gives me access to cocaine,” she scoffed.

They stared at each other, but they weren’t looking at each other. She was looking at her own demons, her own past. Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to look into pain in those dark orbs. It took him several minutes before he could speak again.

“You still deal, don’t you?”

Her voice was as distant as her stare. “You don’t get out that easily.”

They stayed like that for a moment. He had to do something. Anything.

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi sat down on her floor. She didn’t turn her head to look at him. Weirdly enough, the moment didn’t feel as alien to him as it should have. Maybe it was because he too had been at this road as well, although at that time he hadn’t quite formed a plan on how to follow though. He didn’t know what he would have done if the resources had been available.

“Do you remember,” he murmured, trying to keep the anxiousness out of his voice. “Do you remember that time where you gave me advice on what to wear for that concert?” He chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. “You made fun of my clothes and hair back then.”

Her eyes shifted to him. He continued, voice a little stronger now that he had her attention.

“You also brought me chicken that night and left me a note, wishing me well.” He smiled at the memory, holding her gaze now. “I wanted to tell you back then.” He wanted her to know. “Thank you.”

She didn’t laugh. She didn’t make fun of him. She looked a little taken aback.

He scratched his cheek, pressing his lips together before he spoke again. “I couldn’t tell you then, but back then, I really couldn’t afford to eat sometimes.” Without realizing it, he felt his eyes water. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision. “Remember that time you were making beef and my stomach growled so loud that you laughed?” He chuckled, a small smile on his lips. “It was a great laugh. I’ll remember it always.”

Her shoulders trembled with uncertainty. “Why… why are you telling me this?”

“Because I didn’t then. And I should have.” He looked deep, deep into those eyes. “I should have said something because I am grateful to you.”

She scoffed, shaking her head. “I didn’t do anything.”

“No, you did.” He caught her eye again, preventing her from looking at the ground. “You gave me a chance when no one did and I won’t forget it.”

She was silent. He hoped she allowed herself to understand. He was no knight in shining armor; he couldn’t make her mind see what he saw. It wasn’t that simple and he knew that. He also knew that humans had vices. Humans fell into patterns and they believed in them, even if they were senseless to other people. He was guilty of that too.

She was so close and yet so far. No. She was actually getting closer. Leaning towards him, looking into his eyes. Maybe her eyes weren’t so dark after all. They didn’t seem so dark when she was close like this. Her lips were slightly parted, so full and pink. He didn’t move. She stopped, centimeters from his face. She began to pull back and he grabbed her shoulder, stopping her.

It was a terrible idea. He replied before she could say anything.

“I don’t care.”

He closed the distance himself, pressed his lips to hers. You’re a rebound, this isn’t going to cure depression, this doesn’t discount the fact that she’s a fucking drug dealer – he pushed all those thoughts aside because he did not care. Her hand gripped his shirt and pulled him closer, kissing him roughly. He held her arms as she climbed into his lap, igniting him with wild kisses, stealing his breath. She sucked on his tongue, making him moan, letting him go to kiss his cheeks, his nose, his jaw. His hands slid down her arms, finding her ass and pressing his fingers into the fabric of her shorts.

“Yoongi…” His name like a prayer falling from her lips.

It was wrong, so wrong, but he wanted it so bad.

Her lips pressed against his earlobe, making him shudder. Her tongue laced around his earring, tugging lightly, making him shiver. If it wasn’t real, he didn’t want to know. If it wasn’t right, he didn’t want to believe it. Her teeth nibbling on his ear, making him moan. Her hands slid up his shirt, fingertips against his chest. Such thin hands but they seemed to feel all of him, setting his skin ablaze.

His fingers hooked the elastic of her shorts and pulled them down, dragging her underwear down with them. She kicked them off herself, getting on her knees, kissing down his neck, sucking the sensitive skin. It hurt a little but he barely registered it, cupping her bare skin with his palms.

He whispered her name pleadingly. She looked up, breathless, locking eyes with him.

“You should stop me,” he panted.

One final warning because he wasn’t sure if he could stop himself anymore. One final moment where they could turn back and maybe not do this.

She cupped his face in her hands, pressing her forehead against his.

“I really don’t want to, Yoongi.”

She kissed him, throwing caution to the wind. He reciprocated, sliding his hand up her back. Her skin was so soft, cool against his heat. He unhooked her bra with one hand, attempting to tug her sweatshirt off. She slid out of it, pushing it aside, leaving her naked over him. He looked over her body, scars dotting her skin as thin white lines. Lithe and strong, holding the weight of her past on her shoulders. He licked his lips, pulling his shirt over his head, letting it drop beside them. He looped an arm around her waist, pressing her against him, shuddering as he felt her nipples press against his chest.

“Who knew you were hiding such amazing breasts under those clothes,” he teased, voice low. Her cheeks flushed red and she gave him an indignant look.

He turned them over, putting her on her back. He kissed down her neck, licking her collarbones slowly, tongue dipping in between them. Down the curve of her breast, tongue leisurely teasing the tip of her nipple. She whimpered, one of her hands in his hair. His free hand traced her side, feeling the fullness of her hips. She tasted so good, better than his dreams, better than he imagined. He sucked, enjoying her soft mewls and cries. He dug his fingernails into her hip, holding her down as he flicked her nipple with his tongue. Her hand tightened in his hair, curling the black locks around her fingers.

He stopped, smirking above her nipple. “Is that why you said I would look better with longer hair?”

Her cheeks and ears reddened. Fuck, she was so cute. She spoke, surprising him.

“You don’t like it?” she asked, voice quivering.

He dragged himself up her body, pressing his clothed hips in between her legs, letting her feel his erection.

“I like it,” he drawled, his lips brushing against hers. “Lose yourself to me.” Let me take care of you, even if it’s only in this moment.

His hand ran down her body, grabbing her hips and shoving them against his, grinning as he felt her wetness smear against the crotch of his pants. She moaned, her back arching, a moment he burned into his mind. He kissed down her chest again, tongue lapping her nipples. Her fingers raced up the back of his neck, tangling themselves in his hair once again. He kissed down her stomach, his lips against her soft skin. He could smell it now, the heavy scent of her sex. He spread her thighs wide, fingers dipping into her flesh. He buried his nose into it, moaning as his lips tasted her, stickiness coating his cheeks and chin. A slow, languid lick of her slit made her cry out his name. He teased her lips apart with his tongue, rubbing the tip against her walls. Like honey, her taste coated his senses. He felt drunk off her taste alone. His tongue expertly traced circles around her clit, not quite touching it, but telling her he was avoiding it deliberately.

“Yoongi…” she whined. Her hand pressed against his head, trying to push him down. “Please.”

He brushed his nose against her clit, lifting his head slightly. She whimpered and he grinned.

“Please what?” he purred. His voice was deep with lust. “I want to hear it.”

He couldn’t help it. He wanted to hear her desire for him in words.

She pouted. “Touch my clit.”

He reached between her legs and pressed a single finger against the sensitive spot. She flinched, making him grin. He rubbed, slowly, slowly.

“Like this?” he teased. Her other hand was clutching in the white t-shirt. His.

She gasped as he increased the pace, not moving too widely, but concentrating the vibrations of his hand on her clit. Her hips twisted but he held them down, watching her come undone in front of him, head thrown back as he rubbed faster. Moaning his name, chasing her orgasm.

“Cum for me,” he breathed against her skin. “Cum all over my hand.”

She sank her teeth into her lower lip, stifling her scream as she came onto his hand, liquid coating his fingers suddenly. He immediately replaced his hand with his mouth, licking furiously. It was so intoxicating that he closed his eyes, moaning into her pussy as he lapped up her juices, pressing his tongue against her clit. Her hips bucked and he held her still, feverishly licking the sensitive nub. She gasped, shoving her hips against his mouth.

“Fuck, Yoongi, fuck!”

He flicked his tongue against her clit mercilessly, holding her thighs apart firmly so she couldn’t close her legs. Her back arched so high and tight he was afraid she was going to snap.

“Fuuuuck, Yoongi!”

His name punctuated her orgasm, hips shaking as she flooded his mouth. He sucked up her juices greedily, sticking his tongue inside her and feeling her walls clamp around his tongue. Sweat clung to his brow and back but he didn’t care. He lifted his head, a perverse satisfaction coming over him as he watched the string of her juices following his chin before snapping.

She lay against the floor, panting, a little hoarse. He crawled back up to her face and she kissed him without hesitation. If this was sin, he would happily go to hell.

They broke apart, his forehead resting against hers, hands on either side of her.

“Yoongi…”

Please say my name again and again. “Yeah?”

“Let me take care of you too.”

She pushed him, gently, and he obliged, taking her hand as she nudged him to standing position. He saw the table out of the corner of his eye but he looked away. She hooked her fingers along the sides of his pants and pulled them down, freeing his semi-hard erection. He looked down at her. She reached up and circled her fingers around his cock, holding it loosely. He felt it twitch at the attention of someone new.

A small smile. She leaned forward and pressed her soft lips against his balls. He shivered at the strange sensation. Normally girls would go straight for the dick. She pressed the flat of her tongue against his balls and licked him all over. His skin erupted in goosebumps, stunned by the pleasure of her tongue wrapping around his balls and taking them in her mouth. He watched in fascination as she looked up at him, balls deep in her mouth and her hand wrapped around his cock.

He breathed her name, amazed.

She bobbed her head up and mouth, slowly stroking him. Saliva dripped down her chin and onto her chest, sliding down her breasts. He could see precum leaking out of the head and she casually spread it around with one finger, making his knees weak. He moaned as she removed her mouth from his balls. She guided him to her mouth, holding him in place as she ran her tongue over the head. He shut his eyes, seeing stars.

“Shit, I’m going to fuck your face at this rate,” he hissed.

He heard her small, “Heh.” And then she engulfed him with her mouth, hot, wet, lips tightening around his cock as she took him in. His eyes practically rolled into the back of his head. She went deep, so deep the head pressed against the back of her throat. He didn’t know how she had the skill to go so deep and, honestly, he didn’t want to know. She sucked him slowly, but each time she went down, the head of his cock scraped the roof of her mouth, increasing the sensitivity each time. He kept his hands flat against the wall, not wanting to grab her head and ruin her pace. One hand held his cock steady as the other cupped his slippery balls, smearing the saliva all over them.

It was so wet, so hot that he was sure he was going insane.

She sped up, sucking harder. Groans tore from his throat, legs shaking from the intense pleasure. He tried his best to keep his hips still, not wanting to accidentally choke her and cause her to stop.

“F-fuck me,” he moaned, feeling her tongue wrap around the head and her lips tightening around him. He couldn’t think straight anymore. He gasped her name and shot his orgasm into the back of her throat, sensing her hands releasing him suddenly. They gripped his thighs as she swallowed, the sound so audible and obscene that his cock twitched with desire despite being spent.

They stayed like that for a moment, her tongue gently encircling him. His cock left her lips with a soft plop, lips shiny with saliva. He slid to the floor, their clothes a mess around them. His chest heaved with effort. She was breathing hard too, staring at him.

He licked his lips and leaned in, kissing her gently. She clung on to the kiss, inhaling his scent.

When they broke apart, they locked eyes, the obviousness of their inappropriate moment hanging between them. He was a little ashamed, sitting naked in her room, having sex after what was almost a suicide attempt. He was still breathing hard, heart beating fast from anxiety and arousal.

He wanted to hold her. He wanted to give her everything and more. He wanted to be the light in her eyes, but that was a foolish thought, a pipe dream, and a promise he didn’t know if he could keep.

Still, he wanted.

But somehow, those eyes didn’t look so dead anymore. Somehow, they were really looking at him, not just through him. She wordlessly scooted towards him and placed her head against him, ear against his chest. He wrapped her arms around her protectively, resting his head on her hair. From this position, he could see the sun tattoo that was underneath her left shoulder blade. Behind her beating heart. It was a simple tattoo, a circle with dashes around it. He traced it with his fingertip absentmindedly. He could guess who it was for.

She wrapped her arms around his waist. Held him like she was never going to let go.

masterpost

Me: I’m going on a diet!


Me one hour later:


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