#ed thoughts
getting everything physical except weight loss
squatting while trying to force myself to poo is not where I saw myself at 24 tbh
anyone else just like take mega long baths to avoid eating?? my housemate must think I’m a fucking fish
I’ve got work in 43 minutes and I’m in a vegan low calorie wormhole lol
ngl not eating after 7pm is working wonders for me atm x
moved in with my friend and there’s something rlly satisfying about declining food when they offer it
POV: u get invited to something but it will mess with your set eating times/ fast/ weekly binge and purge x
I forgot to log yday :( but here’s a rundown
Breakfast: skip/coffee
Lunch: salad (cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions, avocado feta, mint, and cilantro)
Small piece of chicharon, the way my mom fries it she renders almost all of the fat out until it’s practically porn rinds lol
A small bowl of beans and collard greens
450~650 calories
Dinner:
3 tortillas, two eggs, some refried black beans, feta, sour cream and my homemade hot salsa
580 calories
Total 1030-1230 calories
My intake was a little higher yday I was under 1000 for ten days. I definitely feel hungrier when I eat more lmao which is so weird. But my body has gotten used to eating less pretty quickly. Hope fully it lasts and I’m not having crazy cravings in a few days :| but I think treating myself every few days is rly helpful in maintaining focus. One day of a few bits of comfort food every few days isn’t going to stop my progress overall. I do feel kinda guilty tho :| I wish I didn’t but I do.
Fooood Diary:
Breakfast: skip/black coffee
Lunch: 100g turkey meat, 100g rice & peas, 1 cup cucumber & tomato salad
289 cal
Dinner: Shrimp& cucumber salad!
- 100g shrimp, 50g cucumber, sliced onion, cilantro, chili vinegar (w a tsp of honey, and a few drops of sesame oil)
Bibigo steamed dumplings w a few drops of Sichuan chili oil
383 cal
Total: 672 calories
Redoing this cause the rational part of my brain was like….yeah way too many creeps on here to keep that last BC up. Plus I look so gross so…yea
normal > sucked in > normal > pushed out
Its gross but its interesting :/
Measuring health by weight is total ass but I dont have one of those things that measures your body fat %
Weight sucks lol I just wanna look skinny and attractive, that’s all.
▪︎Been trying to take consistent body checks over the past week n I just dropped my phone on my fucking eye socket bones and I’m HEATED
▪︎I also cant tell how much I way anymore and I’m so mad. My mom is leaving sometime at noon tmr/today so thank gOD but I’m so scared…
I love how roughly 50% of this community post pictures of women/men/people who clearly weigh more than us and are fully developed,grown ass women/men/ppl yet we starve ourselves expecting to look like/similar to them…. ( ._.)
If that doesn’t apply to you dont start invalidating yourself cause you being in this community is enough to qualify you as “sick”. Recognize that I said “roughly 50%”, not “everyone"
Being on your period and trying to lose weight while you’re bloated all to hell is wack
Having Gen-z’s take over ed-social media was NOT a good idea
I’m not doing good with eating, or rather with not eating, and I hate myself for it just oh so much. I just wanna be skinny and attractive is that too much to ask???????
Let’s Cut the Shit:
Most of us are not pro/do not want to encourage people to engage in behaviors of ed’s…
But we ALL know damn well that posting all this is just as encouraging to other people as it is ourselves. Like people posting a huge list of tips n positive outcomes from this ed stuff n then at the bottom adding a half hearted “I dOnT prOmoTE eAtInG dIsorDerS”or“Im nOt pRo thIs iS jUst fOR mE” like cmon bro, just put a TW and be done with it.
▪︎ Aslo, if you’re “not pro” then STOP using the hashtags “pro ana” “pro mia” cause you know damn well what you doing.
▪︎Also EXPLAIN what the TW is dont just say tw
That’s all
I was right, I gained, I’m 116.2
TW - Body Check, Weight & Calorie Rant
I’m getting a bit paranoid at the idea that I somehow gained cause I cant really see my ribs like I did a couple days ago n like Sunday I had a bad eating day (over 600 I’m certain) n since then havent been able to weigh n ik if I’m above or below 121 based on how much my ribs show when I suck in n I cant see them too well I dont think but also I’ve seen minor changes in where I lose weight ever since I’ve been losing n gaining the same 15-17 pounds over 4 years n I dont know what to think!!
Weighed myself again, its says I’m 116.2
Not sure if it true, but I weighed all round the kitchen n it said the same each time sooo…we’ll see ;)
I think my parents are onto me again, idk. The vibe of the house is strange, particularly my mom
