#expectation
While we chase the big question about the purpose of life, we lose sight of the life that we waste daily as we go about serving some purpose or the other without realising it.
That’s the thing about being distracted from the present moment.
We’re so concerned about the future, and often still processing the past, that we lose the present.
Popcorn wisdom aside, we must connect with the reality of what purpose is driving our actions in this very moment.
However, we often confuse long term goals with purpose.
Purpose is not something that has a finite end. Nor is it something that is tangible or measurable on its own.
It’s a higher calling. Something that inspired us to want to achieve goals that serve that purpose, and not a goal in itself.
There is only ever a single purpose in life, from which all other purposes are spawned.
That is, the need to be of positive consequence to those around us, and to the world at large.
We often behave badly when we feel like the fulfilment of that need is under threat. But we’re so focused on complying with expectations, our own and others, that we lose sight of why we feel overwhelmed, taken for granted, abused, or even invisible.
Reconnect with purpose and life becomes more fulfilling without the conscious effort of making it so.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose (at The Egosystem)
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Fear sets in when we take our past experiences and project it on our future.
That means that we have more trust in the outcomes of the past, than we do about our ability to shape our future.
It also means that when we find it difficult to establish or maintain trust in a relationship, it’s because one or both of the people involved are afraid of making themselves vulnerable to what they’ve experienced before.
That’s why so many hold on to the past.
It gives us a sense of certainty or safety, while seemingly protecting us from experiencing the same pain in the future.
But, that assumes that who we were back then, is still who we are now. That assumption is incorrect.
Every experience changes us, whether willingly or unwillingly, consciously or subconsciously. Change is unavoidable.
What does faith have to do with it all?
The irony is that faith is there all along.
Faith is never blind.
What we see as the probable outcomes of the future is in fact faith. Faith is always based on evidence that we gather from the past.
The question is, are we gathering evidence about how often we failed, or are we gathering evidence of how often we persevered beyond those failures?
When you connect with that realisation, you’ll be able to consciously shift your investment of faith from assuming the worst about the future, to realising that you have it within you to influence how that future shapes up.
Own your life.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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Does being childish mean you’re immature?
Does being mature mean that you must give up your youthful playfulness?
Does being responsible mean that you can’t be lighthearted about serious issues?
The labels and expectations that we adopt for ourselves are more about how we want to be seen, rather than what others expect of us.
When we lose sight of these choices that we’ve made, we blame society for the weight of our lives.
Our perception of who we are is the root of the joy or torment that we experience in our lives.
It is also the root of whether we grow old before our time, or do we remain young until the day we die.
Sometimes we lose ourselves to duty and servitude because we feel so intensely responsible for doing our part, or because we believe that we must take up the slack that others leave behind while they’re enjoying their life.
How we feel about doing it is more important than whether that is true, because if we feel burdened, we’ll experience the heaviness of responsibility.
But if we connect with the value that we want to create through our service of others, we’ll feel the joy of fulfilment in connecting with that value, rather than focusing on whether we’re appreciated or not.
That is the beginning of learning to appreciate ourselves before we expect others to make us feel worthy.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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When we transact with life, we expect to get back what we give.
We also expect to receive, in a very specific shape and form, the good that we need from others in exchange for the good that we did for them.
When we expect things to come back to us in a specific way, all the good that doesn’t match our expectations will be ignored, taken for granted, or even rejected without us realising that we’re destroying the very good that we’re praying for.
Like a drop of water that causes a ripple that meets other ripples along its way and gains momentum.
The drop of water had no idea that what it started could turn into a wave. It did not set out to start a wave, nor did it plan to meet other ripples along the way to form the wave that changed the shoreline.
It was just true to its nature, and it’s that nature that inspired or spawned an impact greater than it ever thought possible.
We’re drops of water in the ocean of humanity.
When we own our contribution towards creating good in our lives, its impact is felt for generations to come, and by every life touched by every generation that is spawned from our lineage.
Sadly, the same is true for the harm that we cause. Until someone steps up and decides to start that ripple of positive change.
Own your life. Don’t transact with it. Don’t hold back because you’re waiting for the perfect moment, or the perfect partner.
Be true to yourself, and create space for others to be true to themselves.
Break the cycle that weighs you down. Humanity will be all the better for it.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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Contrary to meme wisdom, it is impossible to live without expectations from others.
Not only is it impossible, but without expectations, much of life’s sweetness is lost.
Trusting our partners or significant others to fulfill the expectations that we have of them cements the bond of trust in our relationship with them, and vice versa.
Failed expectations feel like betrayal because expectations, by definition, carry with them a sense of entitlement to being treated a certain way by those closest to us.
When we become distracted by that feeling of betrayal, we become defensive or aggressive in demanding what we need, rather than seeking to understand why we’re not getting it.
When we focus on what we have a right to expect from others, we become defined by how they honour those expectations. That’s how we risk losing ourselves to such relationships.
When expectations fail, focus on hope instead.
Hope is what creates opportunities for us to be the best that we can be, while creating space for others to discover how to be their best as well.
Never lose hope. And always be mindful of the expectations that you have.
It will save your sanity, if not your soul.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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What we believe is true about ourselves is what we are capable of offering to others.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
You cannot give what you don’t have.
The day you realise this is the day you’ll see the fears and weaknesses that drives others to behave badly towards you.
It was never about you.
It’s always about reflecting who they are.
If you lack self respect, it will be difficult to respect others.
If you don’t appreciate what you have, you won’t express gratitude towards others.
If you are dishonest with yourself about who you truly are, you’ll struggle to trust the sincerity of others.
And so it continues.
The way we see ourselves is what informs our behaviour and interactions with the world.
The more threatened we feel, the more aggressive we will be.
The next time you see someone behaving badly, don’t judge them harshly, understand what they’re saying about how they value themselves, or how valued they feel by you.
Then, respond to their underlying vulnerability in a reassuring way, rather than always reacting to their bad behaviour.
Break the cycle.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #integrity #introspection #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery (at The Egosystem)
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The gravity of life is often a distraction from living it.
So obsessed do we become with the future, or needing retribution for the past, that we lose the present moment.
But this is a philosophy that many know, yet few understand.
What we take from the past, determines whether we live in the present moment with hope and joy, or in fear of the future.
So deeply ingrained is this fear that those who do not embrace it are shunned as being irresponsible, or out of touch.
Connecting with the reality of your contribution towards your past, offers you insights into how to maximise the value of the present, leaving no room for fear of the future.
Because the future then becomes a beautiful surprise, offering new opportunities to take even more from each moment that it offers.
Lose yourself to judging yourself or others about what has already passed, and the future will offer nothing more than the fear of loss, or the absence of peace.
Choose wisely what you take from your past, and the present becomes the gift with which to create a beautiful future.
Live. Don’t just exist. And definitely don’t stop at surviving.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #motivation #optimism #lifegoals (at The Egosystem)
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This is a reminder for those who think that everyone who wears their heart on their sleeves, or are just looking for attention.
It may not be healthy, but it’s their way of drawing attention to their struggle that they need help with.
How we respond either enables the unhealthy expression, diminishes their efforts to be heard, or uplifts them through creating understanding about how they may be able to rise above it.
Death by suicide is avoidable, and so is depression.
Both just need a small dose of kindness and understanding.
Don’t go venting at strangers.
If you need to vent, vent with people that know you so that they have no reason to believe that your frustration is a definition of THEIR worth.
So, if you see someone you don’t know venting, don’t respond with anger.
Break the cycle.
And if it’s someone you do know, let them vent without feeling a need to stop them.
Once they’re done, then try to find out what’s really going on.
No one behaves rationally in the midst of their rage.
But if they’re harming someone in the process, then intervene in the most calm way possible.
Don’t escalate the situation further.
And remember, it takes a village…if you don’t have a village to support your efforts, pace yourself and adjust your expectations of what you’re capable of in line with your reality.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
So start by being kind to yourself, before you sacrifice yourself in the service of others.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #suicideprevention #suicideawarness #depression (at The Egosystem)
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When we find ourselves waiting for just the right moment, or that right feeling, or the perfect setting, or the ideal opportunity to present itself before we do something, we’re afraid of failure.
If we know, with understanding and rational thought, why we are not ready for something, that’s different.
When we have no real reason to put something off but we hesitate and make excuses, that’s when we’re not yet convinced about the value in what we want to do, or our ability to be successful at it.
Looking for reason without deliberate effort or purpose is how we pacify ourselves in our efforts to avoid failure.
When we focus on the value that we wish to create, and we accept that we are always learning something new even in spaces where we are very confident about our abilities, we will find the conviction to take action rather than to avoid failure.
The only reason failure weighs down on us so much is because we are defined by how others may judge us.
If you find yourself in such a head space, you need to reflect on why the opinions of others are more important than your opinion of yourself.
Improve your opinion of yourself, and it will be easier to take advice, learn from your mistakes, and grow from failure.
Own your life, or else someone else will.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selflove #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #motivation #optimism #ownyourlife (at The Egosystem)
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People that respect your victim-hood do so because it makes them feel better about themselves.
It doesn’t mean that they are malicious or have bad intentions. But they most likely don’t even realise it themselves.
In fact, you may be supporting others in ways that comfort you more than it helps them.
When we find familiarity in our struggles that others share, we risk polarising towards those who make us feel better about where we are, rather than seeking out those who may be able to guide us towards uplifting ourselves out of that space.
That’s one of the difficulties of being in a victim head space without realising it. We become really good at making others feel OK about their weakness while believing that we’re supporting them to overcome it.
Before you take offence to what I’m saying, you need to realise that you’re only a victim when you allow the oppression of others to define your self worth, and to dictate your effort towards establishing a life worth living.
The moment you own your life and rise above the impact of that oppression, you’re no longer a victim, you’re a fighter!
Not a survivor! A fighter!
You lose the sweetness of life when you focus on coping as best as you can.
That’s why you must always strive to rise above, to overcome, to prevail, and never to surrender or cope with what life throws at you.
You only get one shot at life.
Make it count.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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Failure only threatens is if we feel defined by the outcome of our efforts in trying to achieve our goals.
Sometimes those goals are small things that influence the daily quality of our lives, and sometimes it’s big things that shape our future.
The source of fearing failure is in our need to be respected by those around us.
The only time we will be disrespected or diminished when we fail at something is when we surround ourselves with those who themselves are defined by how others see them.
In such environments, mediocrity and tradition will be sacred. Playing it safe will be considered responsible. And being risk averse will be considered maturity.
If the life that you seek is one without failure, without change, and without discovering who you truly are, then such environments are perfect for you.
But, as humans, we are restless in spirit, and adventurous in nature. We are driven by knowing that we left our mark and we improved the state of the world in the short time that we were here.
Mediocrity, conformance, and restraint therefore goes against our nature.
When we fight our nature from fear of exclusion or rejection, it’s only a matter of time before our health suffers, and our spirits will be dulled.
That’s how dreams are lost and hope is abandoned.
You owe it to yourself, and the next generation, to be true to the value that you are capable of creating in this world beyond just maintaining the status quo.
Live inspired.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #motivation #optimism #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #lifegoals (at The Egosystem)
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Live to love, to laugh, and to leave a legacy.
It is only through truly appreciating who we are, that we will be able to leave an imprint of love in the hearts of those we cherish.
Until we connect with that gratitude of self, our efforts will put smiles in the hearts of others, while our own faces carry smiles that barely reach our eyes.
Without such gratitude, our laughter will be nothing more than an attempt to release, in that moment, the heaviness that we harbour within.
And our legacy will be one of sacrifice and martyrdom, teaching our loved ones to sacrifice themselves in the service of others, while not teaching them how to connect with the sweetness of such service.
Material success is only a blessing if it uplifts, rather than enslaves.
Wealth that enslaves is the wealth that strokes our ego but deprives us of the joy of human connection, or denies us the bonds of beauty that feed our souls.
Laughter should not be sourced from a business deal that outwitted our opponents.
Such laughter will mock us in our later years when we realise that our fascination with wealth was merely a drop in the ocean of joy compared to the joy that we could have achieved in investing our incredible talents to brighten up the faces of loved ones, or even strangers.
Wealth is a means to an end. Don’t get so caught up in the means that you completely lose sight of your end.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selflove #love #laughter #joy #optimism #inspiration #leavealegacy #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself (at The Egosystem)
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The logic of this is quite obvious, yet we do it, don’t we?
Sometimes we find it difficult to apologise because we’re afraid that others will think less of us. It feels like a weakness. So we protect ourselves from appearing weak.
At other times, we find it difficult to apologise because we feel unappreciated. So our offensive behaviour was our way of getting justice for having been treated badly or taken for granted.
The same reasons that would drive our resistance to admitting fault is what drives others to avoid doing right by us.
Problems arise when we lose sight of why we expect that much more from them, or worse, why we may be holding them to a standard that is unfair to who they are.
Sometimes we grow tired of being taken for granted at home, so we lash out at hints of being taken for granted at work. And vice versa.
Similarly, when our parents may have treated us as insignificant, we end up lashing out at our partners because we fear growing insignificant with them as well.
That’s how we do the right thing for the wrong reasons. Or why we find it difficult to do the right thing when we know better.
We complicate life when we lose sight of what we’re dealing with in the moment because we don’t realise that we’re waiting for justice about something that is long gone and forgotten, or unrelated to who we’re with now. .
Invest in your past, or invest in your present. The choice you make is what determines what you’re investing in your future.
Emotional mindfulness is key to creating a fulfilled life.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose (at The Egosystem)
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The irony of helping others out of the dark spaces in their lives is that when they emerge, they’re often inclined to avoid you because you remind them of a time when they were weak.
When we believe that such weakness is deplorable, we remain weak.
When we view ourselves through the lens of weak versus strong, good versus bad, and so on, we are judging ourselves and others, rather than trying to understand what got us into such states.
There is a time and a place for judgement. But that time and place is only when we need to stop an oppression from taking place.
Beyond that moment, we must focus on understanding the human struggle behind that behaviour, or else we diminish the struggle of the one who behaved badly, giving them ever more reason to continue behaving badly. Or worse.
Gratitude for our moments of weakness is not possible if we still carry a sense of shame about our weakened state.
It’s one thing to regret what we did and to put in the effort to make up for it. But it’s not the same as carrying shame within us that we need to hide from the world.
That need to hide our shame from the world is how we judge ourselves harshly and then look for evidence of others judging us.
That’s often the reason for our defensiveness or aggression in response to any mention of what we once did wrong.
When you find yourself judging yourself or others harshly, it means that you have yet to appreciate the reasons for your weakness or have yet to connect with your humanness.
You’ll only allow others to be human when you believe that you’re allowed to be human.
Right there is the path to peace in your life.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
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What I think I’ll do -
What really happens -
EXPECTATION:
REALITY:
Extroverted, confident, outgoing, the embodiment of an exclamation mark !!
More self-conscious than anyone will ever guess
-!!Aries Expectation vs. Reality!!-
Aggressive or combative, competitive, hot-heated, go, go go!
Giving, affectionate, wants a break
One thing that could easily fuck things up for disappointment:expectation.
There’s a belief, usually from those outside of the D/s scene, that the relationship between a Dominant and a submissive is a parasitic one. The word sounds unpleasant, for sure, but, at least in this context, it merely means that one half of the relationship sustains the other, but that sustenance isn’t mutually required. One needs the other, and the other just accepts that need.
This is dangerous for a few reasons, but primarily I find that it feeds the ego of the Dominant in an unhealthy way. The power they have is a gift, rather than a right, something that is on loan, in a very real sense. The submissive has the power to take it away, just as you have the power to surrender it when you no longer wish to be in control of that person.
Both parties are indulging the other. The submissive is getting the control over them that they crave, and the Dominant is being provided with the control that they, too, crave. This isn’t parasitic, in any way. What we have here, girls and boys, is symbiosis.
Which brings me to expectation. In a very real sense, a submissive is expected to disappoint, especially in the early stages of a relationship. There’s a very strong temptation as a Dominant to ladle on the rules, establish a great deal of fundamentals that will, in the long run, cement the relationship between the two of you.
Of course, this can be overwhelming to the submissive. It’s almost meant to be, cause a slip so that you can provide that same fundamentals in the basis of punishment and correction. Herein, however, lies the rub.
Dominants aren’t infallible. They’ll probably make just as many mistakes as the submissive, early on, and they can have far greater ramifications on the dynamic between the pair. Because there’s that expectation that a submissive will get into trouble occasionally, when a Dominant screws up, they’re showing a chink in their armour, they’re not being who they’re supposed to be.
I’m hyperbolising for effect, but there is certainly a very real expectation placed upon the Dominant, that they have it all figured out and they know exactly what they’re going to be doing from one moment to the next. And, after a while, that can certainly become the case, once the protocols and habits have been firmly established.
But early on? Early on there are going to be some hiccups, and thankfully most submissives have the perseverance to overlook them, and for that I am eternally grateful.
C
