Why do we always fall in love with the wrong person?

When the whumpee has hurt their ankle, and the caretaker has gotten them settled in bed, then left them alone for a few minutes to go gather an ice pack and some water, and the whumpee decides to try to stand up and grab something from the other side of the room. The whumpee falling as soon as they try to put weight on their injured ankle, and landing on the floor with a loud thump. The caretaker hurrying back to the whumpee, and finding them sitting on the floor, clutching their ankle with tears running down their cheeks. The caretaker gently helping the whumpee back into bed, and carefully checking to make sure they haven’t made their ankle worse, then settling an ice pack on it. The whumpee hissing slightly at the sudden cold, and the caretaker asking them how they ended up on the floor. The whumpee admitting that they were trying to grab something, and the caretaker getting it for them, then handing them some water and telling them to just ask for help next time, instead of risking hurting themself even more.

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• to be so lonely -fine line -falling

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I’ve got a big heart… and that’s probably my biggest downfall.

You owe yourself the love that you give so freely to other people.

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader 

Summary:Roger calls you in the middle of the night, and you guys reminisce at some happy memories. 

Word count: ~1.5k

Contains:angst 

A/N:This was written while I listened “Falling” by Harry Styles (my fave song on the album) on repeat, so you can probably guess the tone of this piece. Hope you enjoy!! :))

His hand hovers over the telephone. He’s a bottle and a half into the handles of whiskies he picked up at the liquor store a couple hours ago. This is a bad idea, he thinks, but he doesn’t care. 

He picks up the phone and dials the number.

 ––––––

You’re startled by the ringing of your flat’s telephone. The man sleeping next to you stirs.

“Shh, go back to sleep, I’ll get the phone, love,” you whisper. You couldn’t go to sleep anyway. After placing a kiss to his forehead, you grab your robe and pad into the living room. The phone rings one more time before you answer it. 

“Hello?” 

“Y/N.” Your stomach drops at the voice, and you take in a deep breath. 

“Roger?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” 

You sigh. “Why are you calling me?” 

“Wanted to hear your voice.” You hear a clatter of a glass on his end, and you clench your teeth. 

“You’re drunk right now Roger, hang up and go back to sleep.” 

“Wait, wait, wait––just––wait. Please.” 

You can easily hang up the phone, go back to bed and your loving boyfriend, and not have to deal with what will inevitably wreck your heart again––

But you hate yourself a little bit more tonight, so you stay on the phone. Wait for him to continue. 

He inhales. “I was just thinking about that night in Montreal––when we were doing the show at the Montreal Forum. Remember? It was three years ago from today?” 

––––––

You’re lounging on the hotel room bed in your pajamas and reading a book that you bought at the airport on the way here. Roger’s still at the stadium, rehearsing for the show tomorrow night. The clock just struck two in the morning, but jet lag is really kicking your ass, so you thought reading would help relax you (it’s not). 

You hear the sound of the key card sliding in the door before Roger walks in. 

“Hey, love,” he says softly as he quietly puts his bags down. He isn’t surprised that you’re still awake, the jet lag hitting him as hard as it’s hitting you. Untangling yourself from the mound of pillows and blankets you nestled your way into, you make your way over to him and wrap your arms around his middle. He sighs into your hair, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“How was rehearsal?” you ask. 

“It was good…couldn’t sleep?” You shake your head in response. “Well good thing, I have a surprise for you,” he says before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the hallway. 

You raise your brows but follow him as he leads you through the hotel. He stops at the pool area, and you gasp at the sight in front of you. All the chairs were cleared out and a single table covered in a white cloth and rose petals sits next to the pool. Sitting on top of the table is a platter of desserts: cakes, chocolate truffles, chocolate covered strawberries, crème brulée, and two flutes of champagne, the bottle sitting in an ice bucket off to the side. The candles basks the scene in a ethereal glow, and the record player sitting off to the side plays Sinatra’s The Way You Look Tonight. 

“Ta-da,” Roger says with his arms outstretched and a big grin on his face.  

“Oh my god, Roger. You didn’t have to do all of this.” 

“Well, the hotel helped me set it up, and did you really think I wouldn’t do anything considering how amazing of a boyfriend I am,” he says with a playful wink to which you roll your eyes at. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you kiss him. His hands grip your waist, pulling you closer. 

“I love you,” you say once you break away. 

“Words cannot express how much I love you,” he says softly, brushing back a piece of stray hair blown away from the breeze. 

A bottle and a half of champagne later, you’re sitting in a chair, watching Roger drunkenly air play the drums while serenading you with his rendition of Can’t Take My Eyes Off You. 

“Rog, you’re going to fall into the bloody pool!” You warn. He doesn’t listen to you, and as he gets to the chorus, you see his foot slip and before you can warn him…

Splash. 

Your mouth pops open in disbelief as you see your boyfriend fall, fully clothed, in the hotel pool at three a.m. in the morning. A second later, his head pops out of the water. He’s coughing and hastily pushing his wet hair back out of his face. You let out a surprised laugh, and when he turns his face to you, his shocked expression makes you lose it. 

And now you’re laughing so hard, tears prick at your eyes. Laughing so hard that you snort, which makes you clap your hands over your mouth and laugh even harder. 

“I told you!” you manage to wheeze out through laughs. He’s laughing too now, wading to the side of the pool. 

“Help me out?” He asks with an outstretched hand. 

And you go over, clutching your abs, and since you’re still laughing, you don’t notice the evil grin adorning his face. And so when you reach down to grasp his hand, you’re not prepared for the feeling of him yanking you down and into the pool with him. You manage to let out a surprised shriek before hitting the cold water. 

“You’re such a dick!” You yell when your head breaks through the surface, and you start assaulting his arm with slaps.

He catches your hands and engulfs you into a wet hug. “You love me,” he says with a kiss to the top of your head. 

“I do love you but that doesn’t mean that you’re not a dick,” your voice muffled from your face being pressed into his chest. He fakes a gasp, and you giggle. 

You two stay there for you don’t know how long, you wrapped in his arms, rocking back and forth with Frank Sinatra’s voice as your backdrop and the stars as your ceiling. 

“Happy anniversary, my love,” he whispers into your ear. 

“Happy anniversary, Rog.”

––––––

“Yeah. Yeah I do remember.” You laugh, sniffling. Of course you remember. “We were so happy,” you say. You sigh and look down, picking at your fingernail and thinking about that night. You let out a whimper, and your face crumples thinking of just how happy you two were. 

“I’m sorry, love,” he whispers over the phone, wishing that he could be there to hug and kiss you. Wishing that he could take back that one stupid drunken night that ruined everything. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my love.” 

You continue to cry silently, furiously picking at that fingernail until it bleeds. 

You both stay on the line for a minute, the only sound you hear is the faint buzz of the phone and your shaky breaths. Roger is the first one to break the silence. 

“I miss you. So much,” he rasps. 

“Roger…Roger please don’t do this.” 

“I know, I know, love––I just––I still love––” 

“Roger, you were the one who––” You stop yourself. 

“I know, and I hate myself for that every single day.” On the other side of the line, his heart breaks when he hears your sniffles, and his eyes blur with his own tears. He clears his throat. 

“I was just calling to hear your voice one last time. I won’t call you anymore. All I want for you to be is happy.” He pauses. “I love you.” 

“Thank you Rog,” you whisper into the phone, “I love you too.”

It takes all of your willpower to set the phone back down onto the receiver. 

A quiet sob escapes your chest, and you clutch yourself, hugging your arms to your torso. Sliding down to the ground, back leaning against the back of your couch, you stuff your fist into your mouth to muffle your cries. 

And at this moment you absolutely hate Roger Taylor, the man who was your first love, the man who shattered your heart into a million pieces, the man who, no matter how much you try, you’ll never be able to forget––never stop loving. 

“Y/N?” You hear your boyfriend call from the bedroom. 

“Just a minute!” You call out, voice strained. You don’t know how long you sit there, but once the tears have dried up, you get up, grab a glass of water, and head back into the room where you crawl into bed and under the covers

“Who was that?” your boyfriend asks, voice raspy from sleep. 

“Just an old friend.”

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I have been in isolation for 6 days now I believe. I lost count.

its not a big deal because I am not sick

I am just not getting paid which is majority of what is annoying me.

During this time, I have caught up with all the sleep that I never had and I am feeling much better because I can think and read properly. I walk around all day when I work so that I have the energy. I don’t really drink coffee to keep me awake.

I also asked myself to do some journaling because I think I have a lot of subconscious anger and just a general jist of quick dissatisfaction to wards life sometimes when I have to interact with other people. I find it too easy to pass judgement than to let something slide.

Sometimes I don’t know if I stand more as a people pleaser or as someone who is so caught up in rules.

In my first year of proper work I do see myself slowly becoming like my mentors that just kinda have a short temper and get annoyed with everything real quick. But before that, I am a total people pleaser and just couldn’t care more or less if the whole world burns down.

Both have good and bad outcomes to be very honest. Its finding the balance or a better way of communication.

Anyways, be it rain or shine, I still do my quiet times in the morning. After writing up my notes I just fell asleep in the middle of a park by accident with all my possessions with me. I think its bad but Jesus is Lord.

I have the great joy of reading Romans 4 because it is helping me to just see why Abraham is such an example of great faith that is credited as righteousness.

Vs 19-22

Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness

I think I am in a similar situation whereby I am really just dead meat. I think I just have a big dreams of being able to work flexible hours so that I can live properly in this country and then have time to go to church and still have time to cook for myself on a daily basis. But right now, I am not even earning any money and I don’t even know where will I be working and whether or not I want to stay in England. This visa issue happens annually and just tests my faith a bit too much. I just have to keep praying and keep going.

Apart form that, just learning from Romans 3 that the law of faith and the law in general is meant to go hand in hand. To not practice one without the other in verse 27. I think that is very challenging because I shared that I am judgmental by nature, I need to give a lot more grace.

I think I have a lot more to say but I am gonna go now