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We’ve all dreamed about what our “perfect future” would look like, but did you realize just how much that actually tells you about yourself?

Each and every dream or goal you have for yourself can teach you a lot about your own personal values and desires. As such, it can also tell you what you truly need to focus on to get where you want to be!

Start by answering the following question: How do I want to live?

There’s no deadline of “…in five years” or anything like that. It’s just- what does your ideal life look like? In the form of bullet points, jot down any and everything you think of that you think is important to the ideal.

Then go back and answer a different question: What does my dream lifestyle say about me?

There are typically two categories of information you can glean from this exercise. The first is what you value.

At the very core, the center, of who you are, what is the absolute most important to you? For example, I noticed that a lot of my “ideals” that came to mind involved having the discipline to eat well or having more time and funds to throw into self-care and beauty routines. This tells me that  I value my own health and physical appearance and it is important to me that I view myself in a positive light, even if no one else does.

For me, that is something I have struggled with for a long time, feeling confident in my own body. At some point, it became one of my fears and a weakness to me. However, what we fear about ourselves or the world around us can often tell us exactly what we value so deeply. The reason we fear certain things is because we have something to protect there, something we love and cherish, and we desperately want to prevent it from being taken from us. By focusing on those areas in our self-reflection, we can help strengthen those values and desires that are hidden there so that we can wear them more confidently.

The second category of information you can learn about from this exercise is what you desire.

While your values are your needs, your desires are your wants. Could you survive without them? Probably, but that doesn’t make them any less important to you. Your values are things that have always been a part of you, but have weakened over time and need to be given strength. A desire, on the other hand, are things that haven’t come to pass yet but are essential to your continued growth as a person. They can show you what pieces of yourself you have outgrown or the best building blocks to help you strengthen, or develop new, core values.

For example, when looking at my “ideals”, I can see that the words “confidence” and “discipline” and “self-control” pop up a lot, always in the context that they are something I lack. That’s not a negative way to write about myself, it’s simply that at my current stage in life, I have noticed this and now I am expressing the desire to change that. Due to my personal context, this tells me that  I desire the confidence to speak when needed, to stay silent when it isn’t, and say precisely what needs to be said, instead of rambling anxiously and feeling uncomfortable in my own silence. If there is something about yourself that really bothers you, it’s your brain telling you that whatever is on your nerves is no longer necessary to you, that you’ve outgrown it and need something else now. In my case, I feel out-of-control in social situations and after looking at what my “ideals” actually are, can safely say that the issue is rooted in low, or a lack of, self-confidence.

Have a positive self-reflection day everyone!

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