#flashing gifs

Patriot Games (1992)

By Request

liyazaki:

episode 7 x smooches | cutie pie (2022)

gffa:

I am once again in absolute tears because the FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES of the Coruscant speeder chase has more going on that you can possibly take in on one view, like I have seen this scene many times, I can quote the dialogue right along with them, but the details that go along with that are the funniest thing you could ask for, “What took you so long!?” “Oh, you know, Master, I couldn’t find a speeder I really liked.” we all remember those lines, we can all quote huge chunks of this movie verbatim, I settled in for a fun time with my asshole cat faves, but then Obi-Wan points Zam out, “There he is.” but Anakin keeps going with the bit like he hasn’t even heard Obi-Wan say anything, “–with the open cockpit and the right speed capabilities–” and we all remember that Anakin literally jumped into that speeder in 0.5 seconds after Obi-Wan went out the window, he absolutely did not take extra time to find the right one, he is doing a bit because he thinks it’s funny, and Obi-Wan fucking knows it, “If you spent as long practicing your saber techniques as you do your wit–” it is at this point that Anakin guns the motor and they’re both plastered back against the seats and it’s hard to talk over the rushing chase and the intense staring to see where their bounty hunter goes, but Obi-Wan is 100% dedicated to still giving this banter-lecture, he doesn’t fucking stop, “–you would rival Master Yoda as a swordsman.” and Anakin’s got a rejoinder immediately ready, “I thought I already did.” and “Only in your mind, my very young apprentice.” and I cannot stress enough that they have DEAD SERIOUS GAME FACES ON THIS ENTIRE TIME, if you had the sound off, you’d think they were having a very intense discussion about the car they’re chasing, NOPE, THEY’RE ARGUING ABOUT WHO IS THE BIGGER ANNOYANCE THE ENTIRE TIME (boys, boys, BOTH OF YOU are the most annoying, I promise), and then we see Zam skirting the side of a building’s roof and Anakin absolutely could drive off to the side but this idiot, Anakin Skywalker saw his chance and he chose violence, because Zam’s speeder is well off to the side of all this, but Anakin dives STRAIGHT DOWN IN A NOSE DIVE RIGHT AT THE BUILDING’S ROOF and Obi-Wan lets this go on for, I shit you not, a solid twenty seconds in movie time which is probably like five times that in-universe, before he finally says “Pull up, Anakin. Pull up!” but the thing is, up to this point, Anakin’s face has been very On Point Game Face he is SO SERIOUS like he is staring death lasers out of his eyes, but the second he sees that roof, ANAKIN IMMEDIATELY STARTS LAUGHING, HE STARTED LAUGHING BEFORE OBI-WAN SAID A SINGLE WORD, that little shit saw an opportunity and was like “I’m about to be hilarious” because he knows Obi-Wan hates it, HE DID IT ON PURPOSE FOR NO REASON IT DIDN’T HELP THE CHASE HE JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY (it really, really was) and this chase has now hit the FIFTY SECOND MARK AM I AM IN TEARS ALREADY, it hasn’t even been a full minute and this is their love language, especially when Obi-Wan is all, “You know I don’t like it when you do that.” “Sorry, Master. I forgot you don’t like flying.” “I don’t mind flying, but what you’re doing is suicide!” BECAUSE THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED??? ANAKIN DOES THIS REGULARLY??? Obi-Wan deserves sainthood for putting up with this, no wait DOUBLE SAINTHOOD because THEN they go through the Industrial Sector, Zam shoots out the power coupling, Anakin apparently DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DODGE so he flies them right through it and they get electrocuted, which is just not going to end well if they keep doing this, so Anakin decides to take a different route and zips off the other other, “Where are you going? He went that way.” and Anakin Skywalker, 100% serious because he has the self-awareness of a lobster being dipped into a boiling pot, says, “Master, if we keep this chase going, that creep’s gonna end up deep-fried.” when, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, LESS THAN A MINUTE AGO YOU WERE THE ONE GETTING DEEP FRIED, NOT ZAM, like I’m not usually in favor of the “Anakin gets electrocuted so often it damages his mental faculties” theory in fandom but I’m kind of starting to believe it after this, YOU WERE THE ONE GETTING YOU AND OBI-WAN ZAPPED, YOU PRECIOUS IDIOT WITH THE MEMORY OF AN ELECTROCUTED HAMSTER, but at least he has the self-awareness to confidently state, “This is a shortcut… I think.” and end on a questioning note because sometimes he is aware he’s an idiot, and then I lose my entire mind because they appear to have lost Zam and Obi-Wan’s lecturing him and Anakin says, “I’m deeply sorry, Master.” and he 100% IS NOT A BIT SORRY HE IS NOT EVEN TRYING TO PRETEND HE IS, HE’S JUST SAYING WORDS, then Obi-Wan lectures for five seconds more before Anakin says, “If you’ll excuse me.” and jumps over the side and I was so distracted by Anakin being so goddamned extra, I was perfectly willing to roll with this, like, yep, that’s Anakin, he’ll just jump out of a speeder at the drop of a hat, of course there’s no warning or anything, he just Does Shit Like That and, see, it’s funny, because Obi-Wan (and lbr the entire Jedi Order) does shit like that all the time, Obi-Wan’s was FIVE MINUTES AGO, he JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW, ha ha, HE LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU, OBI-WAN, that was the funny part of the scene for me, but then it took me a moment to realize oh my god ANAKIN SAT ON THAT BIT DURING THE ENTIRE LECTURE there was not enough time for Zam to come around a corner or anything, she was already right there, ANAKIN KNEW IT AND SAID NOTHING, BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BE DRAMATIC ABOUT IT, he could have said, “I didn’t lose him, he’s coming up under us now.” BUT NO HE JUST MADE A COMPLETELY INSINCERE APOLOGY DURING OBI-WAN’S LECTURE WHILE KNOWING EXACTLY WHERE ZAM WAS SO HE COULD JUMP OUT OF THE SPEEDER AT THE RIGHT MOMENT OF DRAMA, ANAKIN SKYWALKER PLANNED THAT SHIT OUT, and I have never been prouder of my disaster dumpster son, but oh god this scene isn’t finished with me yet, because Anakin falls and falls until he lands on Zam’s speeder and whoa that’s pretty badass! except NO IT’S NOT because Zam does ONE SINGLE SOLITARY fishtail and Anakin goes flying like he’s a spinnerbait on the end of a fishing line being flung out by a flyfisher, just wobbling all over that ship as he tries to hold on, like my cat would have had a field day with him if he’d been a feathered jingly ball on the end of a string type of cat toy, that’s how much he was waving and wiggling around, but finally he gets up on the ship! and he gets his lightsaber out! time to be cool! EXCEPT STILL NO he just stabs his saber into the cab of the ship and FLAILS IT AROUND LIKE HE STABBED A STRAW INTO A CUP OF BUBBLE TEA TRYING TO GET THE LAST BOBA PEARL WITH IT, JUST JAB JAB JAB WITH NO FINESSE, and he does this for all of THREE SECONDS before Zam tilts the ship and Anakin loses his saber and Obi-Wan has to come flying along to grab it mid-air for him and then what does Anakin do? why he just SHOVES HIS WHOLE HAND RIGHT IN THERE and flails it around like he’s searching for the prize at the bottom of a Crackerjack box and then after twenty seconds of trying to hold on while Zam is flailing around he finally falls off the ship when she crashes it down onto the Underworld surface and it has been FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES of this, this movie that has changed my life forever, I am exhausted, I am enlightened, I am in tears because this was the most disaster thing I have ever witnessed in my life and I feel like I’ve reached Nirvana just witnessing it.