#greek gods
Apollo: Are you mad?
Artemis:No
Apollo: So sharpening daggers at 2 am is just a hobby?
Ares: So here’s the tea
Athena: For the last time it’s called a mission report!
Zeus: Athena, shhhhhhhh. I wanna here the tea
Hephaestus: Zeus, you can play the role of my father.
Zeus: I don’t want to be your father.
Hephaestus: Perfect you already know your lines.
Hera: I’m at a loss for words.
Zeus, narrating: Despite being at a loss for words, Hera continued yelling for ten minutes.
Hera: Didn’t anyone teach you to say please and thank you?!
Hephaestus: Please shut the fuck up
Hera:
Hephaestus: Thank you
Persephone: I have a new hoodie
Hades: We have a new hoodie!!
Aphrodite: Hey where’s Artemis?
Athena: What do you mean?
Aphrodite: I mean where is she, i haven’t seen her in a while
Ares: Yeah, it’s been like a few months
Dionysus: Wow even Ares noticed she was gone
Ares: *nodding gravely* i know
Apollo: Wait, my sister is gone?!
Athena: She’s not gone, she’s just probably out hunting
Apollo: NOO SHES GONE
Apollo: I DON’T WANNA BE AN ONLY CHILD
Athena: *exasperated* You’re not an only child
Hermes: You’ll never be an only child when Zeus is our father
Zeus: Hey! I heard that!
pointless arguing continues
somewhere in the middle of the woods
Artemis: *laying on a hammock completely unbothered*
One of the Hunters of Artemis: My lady, aren’t you worried what the gods will think when they notice you’ve been here for six months?
Artemis: *opens one eye to stare at the hunter* *closes eye and smirks* nope
Hermes: Come here i wanna show you something
Hermes: *turns around and walks away*
Apollo:nice
Hermes: That’s not it, but thanks ;)
Ares: You’re so short, what can you even see from down there?
Persephone: Your IQ
Athena: Could you be more annoying?!
Poseidon: *death glare*
Poseidon:
Poseidon:Yes
Apollo: Aphrodite I’m in love!
Aphrodite: With who?!
Apollo:✨Myself✨
Poseidon: I did something terrible
Hermes: It’s okay, I’ll get the shovel
Poseidon: Wait, what do you think I did?!
Hermes: It doesn’t matter, no one will ever know
Apollo: Couldn’t sleep either?
Ares: Yeah, bad thoughts, the usual
Ares: What about you?
Apollo: How the fuck does wind work, like how the fuck? Does it go?
Ares, nodding: Mine was eels
Hera: Everyone has their demons
Hera: This is mine his name is Zeus
Nyx: Don’t torture yourself Erebus
Nyx: That’s my job
Erebus: Oh Nyx
: *committing crimes, ruling, falling in love, murdering, plotting, scheming, lying and deceiving*
: *in their realms*
I thank you for everything. I thank you for your patience, your kindness, your understanding and caring, your guidance, your strength, and your love. You are welcomed in my life, my heart, and my family for as long as you like. Truly, it’s an honour to worship you and devot myself to you again and again every day and every night.
My gods are not perfect. They don’t need to be. My gods are not mortals, they are not humans, and therefore it is IMPOSSIBLE to compare them to humans, or to put them to human standards. My gods are not perfect, they have made mistakes in their lives, they’ve made mistakes in my life, too. But they are gods. They were there for me when I needed them. They supported me when I couldn’t support myself. My gods loved me, even when no one else did.
Don’t you dare ever misrepresent, disrespect, or demean them in any way. Just because you might not see them my way, does not mean that I don’t love them with all my capability, that they are not my protectors and guides, that they are not my family, or my loved one.
These are my gods, this is my religion. Do not mute me.