#greek mythology
obviously your cock is going to have to be out but thats how hermes would want it
Needed to draw this
OMG?!
where is the lie tho
Apollo: Are you mad?
Artemis:No
Apollo: So sharpening daggers at 2 am is just a hobby?
Ares: So here’s the tea
Athena: For the last time it’s called a mission report!
Zeus: Athena, shhhhhhhh. I wanna here the tea
Hera: Didn’t anyone teach you to say please and thank you?!
Hephaestus: Please shut the fuck up
Hera:
Hephaestus: Thank you
Persephone: I have a new hoodie
Hades: We have a new hoodie!!
Aphrodite: Hey where’s Artemis?
Athena: What do you mean?
Aphrodite: I mean where is she, i haven’t seen her in a while
Ares: Yeah, it’s been like a few months
Dionysus: Wow even Ares noticed she was gone
Ares: *nodding gravely* i know
Apollo: Wait, my sister is gone?!
Athena: She’s not gone, she’s just probably out hunting
Apollo: NOO SHES GONE
Apollo: I DON’T WANNA BE AN ONLY CHILD
Athena: *exasperated* You’re not an only child
Hermes: You’ll never be an only child when Zeus is our father
Zeus: Hey! I heard that!
pointless arguing continues
somewhere in the middle of the woods
Artemis: *laying on a hammock completely unbothered*
One of the Hunters of Artemis: My lady, aren’t you worried what the gods will think when they notice you’ve been here for six months?
Artemis: *opens one eye to stare at the hunter* *closes eye and smirks* nope
Hermes: Come here i wanna show you something
Hermes: *turns around and walks away*
Apollo:nice
Hermes: That’s not it, but thanks ;)
Ares: You’re so short, what can you even see from down there?
Persephone: Your IQ
Athena: Could you be more annoying?!
Poseidon: *death glare*
Poseidon:
Poseidon:Yes
Apollo: Aphrodite I’m in love!
Aphrodite: With who?!
Apollo:✨Myself✨
Poseidon: I did something terrible
Hermes: It’s okay, I’ll get the shovel
Poseidon: Wait, what do you think I did?!
Hermes: It doesn’t matter, no one will ever know
Apollo: Couldn’t sleep either?
Ares: Yeah, bad thoughts, the usual
Ares: What about you?
Apollo: How the fuck does wind work, like how the fuck? Does it go?
Ares, nodding: Mine was eels
Hera: Everyone has their demons
Hera: This is mine his name is Zeus
: *committing crimes, ruling, falling in love, murdering, plotting, scheming, lying and deceiving*
: *in their realms*
Hestia, *teaching sex ed to the couples of Olympus*: Alright, your partner just texted you ‘I want a baby’. What are your responses?
Zeus x Hera-
Hera: No
Zeus: why
Hera: I don’t need another child with emotional trauma, we already have six
Demeter x Hecate-
Demeter: depends.
Hecate: on what?
Demeter: are you going to neglect that child and then tell your brother to kidnap them so they can marry and not asking me?
Hecate: … No
Demeter: then possibly.
Artemis x Athena-
Athena *blushing furiously*: We-well that’s u-up to Arte.
Artemis: …
Athena: Artemis please this is killing me.
Artemis: *smiles mischievously*
Athena: don’t you dare.
Artemis: *runs away faster than Hermes*
Athena*runs after her: ARTEMIS PLEASE YOU KNOW I CAN’T TAKE SUSPENSE!!!
Ares x Aphrodite-
Aphrodite *seductively walks up to Ares*: well I- *wraps her arms around his neck* wouldn’t be apposed to the idea.
Ares *smirks*: what ever you want babe.
*Cue enthusiastic makeout*
Hestia: please dears, later
Hermes x Thanatos-
Thanatos: I don’t really want kids I just want to live a peaceful life with my boyfriend
Hermes: you’d do that bro?
Thanatos: of course bro
Hermes *grabs Thanatos’s hand*: bro
Poseidon x Amphitrite-
Amphitrite: we have enough kids
Poseidon: Agreed
Apollo x Ares-
Ares: can we even have kids?
Apollo: what?
Ares: I mean we are both male.
Apollo: Ares we are gods we can do anything and even if we weren’t there is this magical thing called ✨adoption✨
Ares: oh… Then yeah probs.
Apollo: *blushes*
Aphrodite x Hephaestus-
Aphrodite: well-
Hephaestus: it is pretty obvious the answer is no
Aphrodite: what
Hephaestus: it’s always been no so stop what your saying because is is just going to break my heart.
Aphrodite: actually Hephy I was thinking- *grabs Hephaestus’s hand* maybe we could try.
Hephaestus *shocked*: what?
Aphrodite: I have been treating you horribly for how long we have been married so I was thinking that we could try if you want.
Hephaestus *trying not to cry*: I- I would love that my dear
Both: *kiss*
Hera: I’m happy for you two but can we move on
Both: of course, sorry.
Dionysus xAriadne-
Dionysus: I am kinda feeling like Poseidon and Amphitrite I don’t really want kids at the moment, how about you Hun?
Ariadne: agreed my love
Hades x Persephone-
Hades: well I would want to talk to Persephone first about it and depending on the answer is where we’ll go from there but that is all I will say at the moment
Persephone: I love you so much *kisses him*
Hades: *Turns as red as a tomato* Hestia what are our scores?
Hestia: you don’t want to know.