#heartbreak
Не знам какво направи с мен, че след година и половина като те видя треперя все едно всеки момент ще умра, а всъщност мисля, че тогава живея най-много.)
Talk to me. Tell me about how much fun you had yesterday, the joke that made you laugh until you cried, the dumb thing you’re too embarrassed to tell anyone else.. Talk for hours about the things you love because there is nothing I’d rather be doing that listening.
the castle on the hill crumbled for good this time and it’s not my fault
no matter how much you tell yourself it is
nothing is ever invincible, not even us
no matter how much we convinced ourselves nothing could ever break us
no matter how many times we rebuilt what we’d lost just to watch it come crashing back down
sometimes i visit the lake we use to go to when one of us sad or when we wanted an excuse to smoke our lungs black or drown our livers in the alcohol we weren’t old enough to buy yet
i think about all the things we left behind and how a tiny piece of me would give anything to have it back
but darling we have taken this too far to bounce back this time
the castle on the hill came crashing down
and i refuse to go tumbling down with it.
you knew too well how to wear girls down
you’d already had too much practice
so by the time i met you
breaking me was an act you could perform effortlessly
i am in love with you and i have been in love with you since i was thirteen years old. three summers have passed and the people we are now would be unrecognisable to the kids we were then but the one thing that hasn’t changed is the love i have for you. through everything, it hasn’t faded one bit.
i am in love with you. and it doesn’t matter that you don’t love me back anymore because i think that loving you saved me. when dirty hands were touching me, you’re voice was in my head telling me “no”, telling me “that boy is in love with your body and not with you, this isn’t what real love looks like”
i am in love with you and i have loved you through everything and that is okay. it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay.
The happiness slips it’s way in when you’re too busy focusing on not dying
It creeps up on you at the exact moment you thought you’d lost it for good
And something inside you clicks and you don’t want to die anymore
All of a sudden, sad songs are just sad songs
And ghosts still appear every now and then but you’ve learnt that you can just blink them away
You notice things you never noticed before when you were too stuck inside your own head
Like the painting the sun makes when it’s setting but hasn’t fully disappeared yet
Or the way even when the darkness has completely taken over the stars finally get to show their beauty to the sleeping world
The happiness shines through the scars and the pain and shows you beauty you never thought you’d be capable to see
The happiness shines through and it gets better
It gets better and you don’t want to die
You don’t want to die and you’re alive
You’re alive you’re alive you’re alive
Tell me how I’m suppose to move on when you find your way into everything I do
How am I suppose to forget your face when I see your eyes every time I shut mine?
They say with time things get easier and you move on, but you’re still haunting me
Everything you did still haunts me
Forget me good
Moving on never looked
So easy, stuck that landing
Without skipping any beats
Simply beating a swift retreat
Now don’t get me wrong again
I want you to be happy…just couldn’t
It hurt a little first cause God knows
I do? Don’t know where to keep
It all and this lingering foolish love
North wind whistles through
Gloomy gaps seething cracks
Of my heart sounding like lost sleep
Dreams trampled dull as dust
Shouldn’t have let down my guard
For so long. Who was I to think
I deserved the promise in your eyes
Professed with a pleasing tongue?
How could I expect to ever be enough
Yet not see all the ways I am too much?
All I wanted was an always
No matter what I think you know
You’ll always have my love
I never until now wished it wasn’t so
Perhaps that’s the first step to
Letting go
Prompted by @abiblicalsasquatch:adivorce
Just look inside my heart, you will cry.
You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to others.
I hope I cross your mind once in a while just so that I won’t feel pathetic for thinking about you all the time.
Dream without limits. Love without fear.