like a… good. like a st- like you-you know how sometimes you put helmets on people who are going into
dangerous situations
because they’re just
regular-ass people?
and not like
superheroes?
i need..
A HELMET.
heathcliff:ummm
I need a helmet!
heathcliff:okay! uh just a regular old helmet? or do you want a..
LIKE A GOOD HELMET
YA DUMB CAT,
A Helmet!
[travis laughing]
griffin:he looks kind of…
DON’T FUCK AROUND WITH ME. IM NOT HA- ST-STOKED TO BE ASKIN.
I NEED A HELMET, ALRIGHT?
I Need A Helmet!
heathcliff: um okaay..
griffin: he-he looks pissed off, he’s like
heathcliff:let me see what, lemme see
SHUT UP!
[others laughing]
HEY!
YOU TWO
heathcliff: lemme see what i can do
PIPE DOWN, ALRIGHT?
YUCK IT UP
I’M GLAD YOU ALL ARE STILL.
FUCKIN X MEN.
I’M JUST A REGULAR
DIPSHIT
AND I NEEDA FUCKIN HELMET.
griffin:uh he says uh-
I’m sorry,
CAT.
I need a helmet.
heathcliff:yeah, um, i get that, um… any sort of
PFFffFfFfFfFffFffTT
heathcliff:design considerations or…?
I might be wasting this not getting a
TOMBSTONE
now that i think about it.
[others laugh]
them shits is expensive
i-can you get me a
hologram tombstone?
NAHH
alright, you know what? that’s
stinkin’ thinkin’.
i’ll start with a helmet.
griffin:uh he dives down-
travis:and aubrey yells:
aubrey:VIKING!
griffin:he dives down and-
No, like,
cool…
griffin:he dives down into the abyss and uhhhhhhh takes a while down there? uh and you see like a few flashes of light and he uh comes back up. and i think he’s got like five or six different helmet designs and he’s like:
heathcliff:umm you seem like you’re having maybe a bit of a. bit of a
week
so uhhhhhhhhh i-i thought maybe you could. pick your favorite? maybe you could have some fun with that
griffin:and there’s like a… like you know like a motorcycle helmet, there’s a viking helmet for sure, there’s like a knight’s full helm with the like guard in front of it, there’s like a sortuva modern combat helmet uhhhhhh with like some like the netting wrapped around it, uhhhhh i think he offers you a few different helmet designs.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
aubrey, whispering:Viking!
ned, also whispering: Viking!
gimme the one that looks like a
skateboard helmet.
[clint laughing]
god, at least i can wear that to work
[laughing continues]
‘cause i’m skateboarding to
WORK.
by the way.
ned:so you can’t
run
without getting tired anymore?
I CAN’T LIKE RUN EIGHT MILES WITHOUT GETTING TIRED ANYMO-
Griffin:The wind picks up from below as you speak, almost knocking you off your feet, which is probably pretty scary given your position, as a massive shape lifts up from the darkness below you. And suddenly, the light from Vincent’s torch illuminates two great yellow eyes with narrow slits for pupils, which eye you over quickly before the figure fully emerges. It is a cat. An unthinkably gigantic grey anthropomorphic cat, and it says-
Heathcliff:Well, that sounds like quite a challenge! I suppose introductions are in order. The people of this world know me as the Enchanter, master artisan of the arcane- but you may call me by my name. I… am Heathcliff!
What are your controversial classic lit opinions? Mine are that of all the Dickens I’ve read, Great Expectations was my least favourite, and that I had to drag myself through every chapter of Les Mis like a battle
Reblog with your least popular classic lit opinions
The people in Wuthering Heights have no reason to be so miserable to each other.
They have enough resources to go around, there are no big external catastrophes, there is no power or treasure to gain, there is only the drama they create for themselves out of thin air. If any of them used their brain for five minutes, the novel would be over.
Heathcliff even makes it out of the abusive situation through the military, but then returns to be even more miserable. Just move on, bro.
Sometimes I just stop and think very hard about how Ben Barnes was literally born to be a Heathcliff. Those effin’ black carbon eyes. Someone please remake the movie with him in it.
