(I wrote all of this to post on Facebook and figured I’d SYNERGIZE™ it.)
1.)Armageddon(1998)
[First Viewed Circa 1999]
Michael Bay’s star-spanglin’ dick-swangin’ Paris-obliteratin’ ode to Average Joes saving the world from a big-ass asteroid served as an important mile marker in my development as a film fan: it was the first film I ever watched and thought, “That was bad.” See, when I was a kid, I emerged from every film I saw with the same take, something roughly akin to, “It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it.” I was vaguely bewildered whenever I would see a film with some of the impossibly erudite elders of my neighborhood kid gang (some as old as 13 or 14!) and they’d spend the car ride home pointing out how terrible the film we just saw was. So naturally, the distaste I had for Michael Bay’s “Budweiser commercial directed by Leni Riefenstahl” style came as a massive relief. I wasn’t stupid! I could dislike something! And lemme tell you, dear reader, I haven’t stopped disliking things since.
2.)Monty Python and the Holy Grail(1975)
[First Viewed Circa 1999]
Given the fact that I watched this film at least once at any sleepover from roughly 1999 to 2004, Monty Python’s digressive, and deeply, deeply silly magnum opus is still the film that I’ve watched more times than any other. It was the first movie that I was obsessed with, which is not surprising given that it’s the exact sort of film that rewards obsession. It’s filled with absurd background details you only catch on the fifth viewing (the countless extras beating cats against walls), long streams of absurd riffs ripe for memorization (the list of animals vanquished via the holy hand grenade), and the sort of nonsensical humor that makes you feel like you’re part of a special group of those who Get It (…the whole film, really). While this whole list is full of films that defined my taste in film, this is the only one that feels like it defined who I am.
3.)Signs(2002)
[First Viewed Circa 2002]
Most people remember Signs as the last good M. Night Shyamalan film. Or the first bad one. Or the one with that really good scene where Joaquin Phoenix freaks out watching TV and not much else. I remember it as the first time I ever thought, “That was a cool shot.” It comes at the end of the film, where Joaquin takes baseball bat to an alien who falls backwards into a table, knocking over a glass of water, the liquid we’ve spent the whole film learning is poisonous to this breed of extraterrestrial. But what was cool was that Shyamalan shot it from the alien’s perspective. Looking back, it’s not exactly the bone-to-spacestation match cut, but it was the first time that I found myself actively aware of the man behind the curtain, and the first step in my journey to be one of them.
4.)Rear Window(1954)
[First Viewed Circa 2003]
During my middle school years, most every weekend involved a trip to the video store with my mom. Our local store was End Zone Video, named in honor of the fact that every facet of life in Knoxville, Tennessee, must revolve around University of Tennessee football. Each week I’d comb the aisles, careful to avoid looking directly at the covers for Evil Dead 2orApril Fool’s Day, and select a tape to rent. Sometimes, though, Mom would suddenly realize I hadn’t seen a film that she’d call a classic and decide we needed to rent it RIGHT NOW. So, the two of us either wound up watching a recent film for which she had an irrational amount of affection (Ever After,Sliding Doors) or an older film that was part of the Official Canon. Rear Window was the first of these older films that snuck up on me and hit me over the head with a sock filled with batteries. (In a good way.) One minute my mom was explaining how the fact that we could see Miss Torso strip down to her slip was once scandalous, and the next I was asphyxiating because Grace Kelly didn’t know that Thorwald was right outside the apartment she was searching. From then on, I was allowed two movies, and one of them was always a Hitchcock.
5.)Fight Club(1999)
[First Viewed Circa 2006]
I first watched Fight Club with Jen and Samantha while lounging on the massive sectional in Jen’s basement. Before we started it, Sam turned to me and said, “Taylor, this is the day you become a man.” And, folks, she weren’t wrong. For a lot of people of a certain age, Fight Club was one of those movies that landed in your lap like an A-bomb. It wasn’t just a movie—it was a life event. It gave you a whole new definition of nihilistic macho cool. It pulled the rug out from under you with a twist that made you salivate over any movie described as a “mindfuck.” It made you post pictures on MySpace of yourself with a stage-make-up lye-burn on the back of your hand. And it was only years later that you realized that hey, maybe we’re not supposed to like this Tyler Durden guy?
6.)The Royal Tenenbaums(2001)
[First Viewed Circa 2006]
I become aware of a thing called indie rock sometime in the summer of 2003 when my ex-girlfriend changed her AIM buddy icon to a picture of Death Cab For Cutie. About three years later, I found my cinematic Death Cab buddy icon in the form of Wes Anderson’s third film, playing in the middle of one Saturday afternoon on Comedy Central shortly after my dad finally caved and got cable. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen, fussy and formalist and packed to the gills with bespoke flourishes (dalmatian mice, the 375th Street Y, etc). The characters didn’t look or act or sound like real people, but somehow one of them saying “I’ve had rough year, Dad,” could drive me to tears. I’d taken fledgling steps exploring the world of film, and this was the movie that made me realize that there was this entire other world that I’d never glimpsed before.
7.)Hostel(2005)
[First Viewed Circa 2007]
When I was in kindergarten, we watched a children’s VHS entitled There’s A Nightmare In My Closet. Based on a book by Mercer Meyer, it told the story of a boy who learns that the monster in his closet is actually nice and just wants to be friends. The horrific implication of this was that A) monsters are real, and B) nice monsters are definitely not the norm. I slept with the lights on until middle school. Growing up, even the VHS box of most horror films would freak me out (April Fools Day,Evil Dead 2). In short, I was a big chicken, even into my teen years. Then one day Sam, Travis, and I piled into Travis’s living room and put on Eli Roth’s infamous gut-ripper Hostel. I braced myself, determined to play it as cool as I could. (After all, I’d been sleeping in the dark for years at this point!) Then the movie turned out to be…not as bad as I thought? I mean sure, it had people getting their achilles tendons cut, and their stomachs chainsawed, and their eyes popped out of socket. But I survived. In fact, I enjoyed it. And thus a former chicken metamorphosed into an absolute horror junkie.
8.)Grindhouse(2007)
[First Viewed Circa 2007]
I don’t think I’ll ever have a better time out at the movies than I did seeing Grindhouse. For three hours, Sam, Travis, and I cackled our way through exploding zombie heads, fake British horror trailers, and guys getting off to car crashes. There were only a handful of other people across the aisle in the smallest theater in Downtown West, which only made it seem more obvious that this movie was made for us. For a bunch of movie crazy kids who got together to watch Robot MonsterandFaster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! back to back. It was like a gift from the movie gods. A movie that was every bit in love with the idea of movies as we were. No wonder every film we shot that summer wound up covered in fake film scratches and ‘70s R&B needle drops.
9.)The General(1926)
[First Viewed Circa 2010]
By this point in my life, I was well acquainted with classic film. I knew that The African Queen wasn’t a monarch, that The Thin Man wasn’t Nick Charles, and that The Maltese Falcon wasn’t a real bird. But even so, I was still an utter neophyte when it came to the pre-sound era. Sure, I’d suffered through The Birth of a Nation a couple of times in history classes, but the silent era was very much unexplored territory for me. So, when I settled down on my parents’ old couch in my college apartment and listened to Robert Osbourne introduce The General, I was expecting a night of eating my cinematic vegetables. But then, I found myself chuckling when Buster sat on the titular engine’s churning connecting rods, then cheering when he used one railroad tie to see-saw another off the track, then completely cracking up at the final (literal) twist of the cannon sequence. By the time Buster dropped the entire train in river, I was hooked. Fast forward eight years, and suddenly I’m the guy who’s not sure that the advent of sound wasn’t a mistake.
10.)La Jetée(1962)
[First Viewed Circa 2013]
All the movies on this list contributed to my love of film. They opened my eyes, whetted my appetite, and pointed me in new directions. But perhaps none affected me as profoundly as La Jetée. The other films on this list helped show me that film could make me laugh until my side cramped up, white-knuckle the couch armrest with terror, and gawp in amazement. They showed me what film can do. La Jetée showed me what film is. There is a moment (if you’ve seen it, you know it) that displays the truth it took me my whole life to realize: the moving image is nothing less than a miracle. And I’m forever grateful for it.
Shower room of a worker’s hostel in Alabino, Moscow Oblast, Russia. This type of accommodation is often used by construction workers and migrant workers.
Men’s onsen/ shower room at Shinjuku Kuyakushomae Capsule Hotel in Tokyo, Japan.
The onsen is the only shower area available for men and is found on the third floor. This capsule hotel is incredibly popular with Japanese businessmen and with foreign travelers looking to try something uniquely Japanese. Sadly for women, their floor only has a traditional shower room with stalls and no spa.
So last night for the first time in my life I was directly verbally abused by some fucking homophobic deuce-bag. It happened at my Manila hostel in my hostel dorm right next to my bunk bed. I just met one of my fellow dorm-roomies while getting ready to go to bed. And during my only three minutes of interaction with him I learned that he was going to buy some heavy-duty guns the next day, that I’m a bitch, that I look like a German lesbian, and that lesbians eat shit according to the fucking deuce-bag. He kept calling me “sweetie” or “bitch” and he looked completely mental, to the point that I felt very threatened.
This maybe American maybe British late 20-s/early 30-s white male was the most dangerous and offensive person I have met this whole trip around SE Asia. And it was the first time I shed tears in a very long time. I can’t imagine what it’s like for other LGBT people to be bullied and discriminated against every day. No wonder so many commit suicide. I felt absolutely horrible for the whole night and following day from that short interaction.
I walked away from him in mid-sentence and requested a private room because I was offended and scared and the hostel staff moved me at no charge. However he was let to stay at the hostel the following day even though he made sexist remarks to many other female guests. I’m pretty disappointed in my hostel - MNL Boutique Hostel in Makati City. Thank goodness I’m leaving tonight.
First pound cake attempt turned out better than expected. Saber-tooth tiger. Right now I’m off sweets until Father’s Day, though. I want to make pound cake then too, but maybe with blue- or cranberries. This time I might also use yogurt instead of sour cream and add more sugar, because I only used half as much as the recipe called for.
My elliptical is still broke. I can’t seem to find its manual online so I might just need to contact the company. But even if I managed to fix the elliptical tomorrow it can’t be used because my ankle’s sprained. So I started swimming again. The new goggles I got are cute, but they suck. Thankfully the swim cap doesn’t make me look like one of the guys from Hostel: Part II. (Planning to watch the third one on Netflix next week.)
I found out Boxer-Pointer mixes are called “Boxapoints.” BABY BOXAPOINT.
Speaking of pools and dogs, make sure to bring your dogs’ water bowls inside at night. Because mosquitos will lay eggs in them. That happened to our inflatable pool when I was a kid and we had to throw it out. :(
Fortunately, since using a lavender Febreze plug-in, there’s been barely any bugs in the house. At least, compared to how many are usually in the house when it’s warm out.
I’m thinking of just doing weekly update posts, to keep track of movies. Last one was Spider-Man: No Way Home. Villain crossover.
To watch:
Hostel: Part III
Scream 5
Dracula1931 (‘Cause this ask made me realize I’d never seen it.)
Cool people I met in a hostel in Milan after my exchange friends went back to Nice, while I stayed in Italy. From left to right: Brazilian, Italian, Australian, Brazilian, Italian, Italian