#huge tw

leaving your teen years is realizing that you don’t know who you became, that you’ve changed too much. it’s crying and clutching your baby blanket, mourning the childhood you should’ve had. why do i want to cry when i eat? why do i flinch so hard at every touch? why am i unable to accept love? i’m supposed to be an adult now.. everyone knows how to do these things! i don’t have my liscence, i don’t have a good job.. i’m failing college.. i just want to be a kid, but without the beatings and self harm and molestations. without the shame every time i ate, beatings when i opened the fridge, showers with dad and dvds in moms room. a childhood where i was loved and believed.