I haven’t really been feeling like myself lately. When I wake up I don’t wanna do anything. And when I get out of bed I don’t do anything. I just kind of waste my time. It’s funny because I have all these goals and ambitions but I just can’t bring myself to accomplish any of them.
Isn’t it funny how something that use to be the worst habit like cutting,carving and burning took over your life, but then all of a sudden its just easy to stop..?
i have been self harming for a year and a half and the longest i have ever gone is 6-7 weeks.. i am currently at 5 weeks and my goal is 8+ weeks. it use to be all i would think about.. 24/7 i would self harm once, twice maybe even 3 times? a day depending in what was going on… i have self harmed not only at home but at school as well.
i remembered one time i was so depressed and didn’t have blade and i was out shopping with one of my best friends and i bought a package of pencil sharpeners and took the blades out cause i was so desperate.
now that i think of it i just think of how i don’t want to be that person and how gross that is, to be so addicted like that, i have no longer wanted to self harm in like 5 months it just doesn’t really appeal to me anymore but when shit happens that’s all i really know to do so i trying to fix that and change that into new habits that are good.!!!
although i say that.. ever since i slowed down and stopped self harming i have started starving myself and am under weight but i will be trying harder to recover as i need to be strong to susceed in my sport,
Spring break is over, Tomorrow back to school I’m very nervous and might relapse, going to try very hard not to self harm I haven’t In 3 weeks. My longest is 6 weeks and I’m going to go longer. But I’m going to focus on my eating disorder right now. I’m trying to stay strong because I know there’s hope! Stay strong all xoxo
