GREGORY: My my, this sure is a popular question, isn’t it?

GREGORY: I can’t see why any of you would be taking interest in that traitorous rat,though.

GREGORY:Running the others off to safety while we were trying to deal with business.

GREGORY: It’s bad enough with all of the ruckus he causes on a daily basis in Hell, now he’s choosing to do it on the overworld as well.

ESTELLA:Are you talking about Tweek, over there?

ESTELLA:That scraggly, disease-ridden manchild will surely get what is coming to him.

ESTELLA:I hope he enjoys the strain of problems he’s created for us.

GREGORY: There are people asking about him, can you believe it?

GREGORY:They–ohoh, this is actually quite funny.

GREGORY: They think he’s from the land of the living, how charming.

ESTELLA:Heavens,that problematic boil on the under-fold of a old man’s neck wouldn’t stand achanceup here on earth.

GREGORY:Right?

GREGORY: Anyway– to answer all of your questions…

GREGORY:He’s always been in Hell, right to his very upbringing.

GREGORY:He was hellborn, several years before the new era of Hell.

GREGORY:About ten or even years before I died, making him… eighteen or nineteen now, I believe?

GREGORY:All I recall is that his birthday is on Halloween.

GREGORY: Funny enough, Hell uses the same time system as earth does.

GREGORY: Though rather than two thousand… someodd… I don’t quite remember the year up here anymore– it’s year ten of Era 2.

GREGORY:Sounds ridiculous, right?

GREGORY:Ahahah…

GREGORY:Anyways, where was I?

GREGORY:Oh, yes.

GREGORY: Tweek, unlike the rest of us, has never been to earth until now.

I remember running into him the first time, shortly after my death.

I believe when I first met him, I thought he was just some stupid kid who died too early to know what like was like on the surface.

He would be found headbutting rocks, gave me a strange look when I approached him, and would speak in a strange tongue I couldn’t understand at first.

Of course, I wouldn’t know what to say in response to something I did not know.

I’ve known a handful of languages from a young age, but his was unlike anything I’ve ever heard until I arrived in Hell.

At first I figured, maybe this was some language from a lost civilization, hundreds of years in the past? Perhaps age doesn’t work in Hell like it does in the land of the living?

This would be incorrect.

If I recall, I attempted to talk to him in my own language– English, of course. I think I’d felt it too rude to try and leave while he was trying to have a conversation with me.

GREGORY:I can’t quite understand you…

GREGORY: Are you able to understand me?

TWEEK:…

GREGORY: …I’ll take your silence as a no.

GREGORY:I wonder where you’re from…

GREGORY: I’ve never heard such a language before.

I would try to seemingly no avail, so I felt my inclination to be true. For a few moments, that is. 

Looking back on this all, it’s a rather funny instance, though at the time I was utterly terrified when this next bit occurred–

I’d been so used to demons and ghouls and all sorts of hellish beings flying about in the skies, I hadn’t stopped to notice two individuals soaring my way from behind Tweek.

They would land to see me, surrounding him on either side. I remember this image very clearly in my head…

…because as a little kid, seeing two full grown adults, with a wingspan larger than myself at the time…

My lord, I was scared senseless.

They would look down at me, smiles on their faces. I figured them crazed, it didn’t look like they knew quite how to smile at first.

I expected them to speak the same language as the kid I had been talking to, considering how close and personal they seemed to be with him.

They addressed to me in full English that I had been talking to their son, though– something I find rather interesting now, considering they would have had no idea exactly what language I would have spoken.

I suppose that’s a mystery I’ll solve another day.

MR. TWEAK: Hello!

MR. TWEAK: Can we help you?

MR. TWEAK: I see you’ve met our son!

MRS. TWEAK: He doesn’t get out much, you’re the first saved soul he’s ever seen…

They had a peculiar accent. I wouldn’t have been to describe it at the time, but now I can say with clear conscious that it is just one of many Hellish accents you’d find in Hell.

An accent from one who would have grown up speaking a specifically satanic language– one that would commonly be known to English-speaking Hellspawn as, simply, demonic tongue or hellspeak. Myself fancying the latter.

They had seemed rather keen on being overly nice to me, where as most looks I’d gotten from those I’d later find out to be hellborn as well would be looks of disdain.

I had arrived in Hell a year after the previous ruler Satan had died and went to heaven, and merely months into a new era– in which none would be damned to eternal torture.

I’d like to say I was lucky for dying at the time I did– but I wasn’t.

I was just luckier than those who had died before this new era was enacted.

They were almost more threatening than the ones who would give me such wretched looks. They were almost trying too hard to be nice.

I could recognize their efforts though, however terrified I was at the time.

In turn, they could recognize my fear. So his mother would attempt to console me, something else I’ve never forgotten.

MRS. TWEAK: My my, dear…

MRS. TWEAK: You’re so brave…

MRS. TWEAK: There aren’t many souls who seem as sudden as yours who would care to talk to someone like our son…

GREGORY:…

MRS. TWEAK: You seem scared and lost… and alone.

MRS. TWEAK: Do you have any known family down here?

GREGORY: …I don’t… really know…?

MRS. TWEAK: That’s quite a shame…

MRS. TWEAK: I hope you can find them some day.

MRS. TWEAK: For now, though… as a mother, and an imp…

MRS. TWEAK: I’d love to welcome you to our home any time you feel like you need to get away from everything out here.

MRS. TWEAK: It’s hard in these times, I’m sure you could do with a friendly face or two.

She would tell me, without even knowing who I am, that I was welcome into her home.

I’ll admit I felt a little like a charity case in that moment, but she’d sensed I was all on my own at the time– which I was.

Even though the torturing era of Hell was something I had missed, the four or five days I had spent alone, wandering hell to my own devices… everything I had experienced up until that point had been quite scary, to some degree.

I mean, I was still in Hell, what else would I have felt.

Her generosity and the father’s… attempt at a polite smile… had been the first somewhat comforting things I had felt since I had died.

His mother would then try to promote to me: Tweek, a potential friend.

MRS. TWEAK: Darling, were you talking to his young man?

MRS. TWEAK: Would you like to make friends with him?

MRS. TWEAK: Now now, dear, not so rude.

MRS. TWEAK: You know this language.

MRS. TWEAK: I know, you’re nervous…

MRS. TWEAK: This man is a nice fellow, though, I think he and you would make terrific friends…

She would reveal to me that he could in fact speak English, and really he was too shy to speak outside of his native tongue.

He didn’t quite look like somebody I would want to be friends with at the time, but with how nice his mother was and how lonely I felt, I was… reluctantly intrigued, to say the least.

However I remember finding his name quite silly– it’s not even a common theme in Hell. His father’s name is Richard, goodness sake. They really had to regards when naming him, it seems.

TWEEK:Um…

MRS. TWEAK: Tell him your name, dear.

TWEEK:Tweek.

MRS. TWEAK: Tweekwhat?

TWEEK:My name is Tweek.

MRS. TWEAK: Good job!

MRS. TWEAK: Why don’t you try speaking to your new friend in a way you can both understand?

TWEEK: O-oh, um…

TWEEK: I– I wanna poke your eyes out with my pitchfork, ugly.

GREGORY:…

MRS. TWEAK: Ohohoh– He doesn’t mean that. I promise you.

MRS. TWEAK: It’s the way of the old era, so please don’t mind him.

MRS. TWEAK: Tweek, why don’t you try being nice?

MRS. TWEAK: We’ve been practicing this, right?

TWEEK:When I grow up, and get my own torture chamber, I’ll let you be the first in it.

GREGORY:…Nice to meet you too…?

GREGORY: My name is Gregory???

Tweek wasn’t very good at being nice when he was young. I disliked him, for a time, but put up with him because his mother was so nice.

However I learned it really just was the way he was raised. If you grow up in a world where your sole purpose is to trick and torture others, why wouldn’t you be taught to be so devilish?

He took a while to unlearn his habits, and he still has some issues now and then. On the other end, I’ve learned to understand him better.

Of course, my understanding of him right now is that he’d rather betray our entire friend group by running off with a bunch of humans than to stick with us– people he knows.

It’s beyond ridiculous, offensive, and hurtful. I don’t know what his motives are in this instance, but he’s to have a good reason for all of this if he expects me to forgive him.

As for this question, I hope this quelled your curious minds once more. Tweek has always lived in hell, born and raised, and just barely over twenty four hours ago was his first breath of air on the surface.

I know I went on a bit of a rabbit trail, but I believe it paints a better picture of exactly why I’m friends with Tweek now.

I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I had known him since he was even younger.

Would his parents have shown me the same hospitality?

Would he have been as rude? Would he have made me want to me more rude?

I wonder if he looked as stupid as all of the other implets running amok in hell when he was young…

Perhaps I’ll visit his parents soon and ask them just that– maybe ask them for a young photo or two of him while I’m there.

I’m closer to them than I am him at this point, anyhow.

TWEEK: [Grumble grumble…]

TWEEK:…

TWEEK: Ugh, how are thereno bars here.

TWEEK:How is earth shittier than hell right now.

TWEEK: I bet this stupid thing doesn’t even work up on the surface…

TWEEK:Stupid fucking…–

TWEEK:Wh–

TWEEK: Why is my phone talking to me again.

TWEEK:Why do I even usethis dumb thing???

TWEEK:Wait…

TWEEK:It only ever does this when…

TWEEK: Ugh, when he’saround.

TWEEK:Hey, what are you doing???

TWEEK:You’re messing up my shit!

╤ ╝╤: …

TWEEK:…

TWEEK:Wait,is that him?

TWEEK:He’s not wearing his hat…

TWEEK:Wh…

TWEEK:No wait yeah okay yep that’s him.

PIP:Cheerio, friend!

TWEEK:Why are you walking around with all your stuff out, are you crazy?!

PIP:Rather bold of you to say, shouting from across the street like that!

PIP:Joking I am, of course.

PIP:All in good fun!

TWEEK:Why’s half of your clothes off, too?!

TWEEK:What if somebody sees you!!!

PIP:Let’s stop yelling, why don’t we, if you’re so concerned about a simple gaze or two in my direction!

PIP:Come on over here, why are you sitting all the way in that silly old log?

TWEEK:(Should I…?)

TWEEK:(What if one of the others is near by…?)

TWEEK:(It doesn’t feel like they’re around…)

PIP:Well?

TWEEK:Agh–okay okay, fine!

TWEEK:Seriously,why are you walking around like that???

TWEEK:Isn’t–

TWEEK: Isn’t it super fucked up for people up here?

TWEEK: Don’t you guys have, like, standards on the overworld?

PIP:Why, of course we do, Tweek.

PIP:However, I don’t think my appearance has anything to do with manners or being polite.

PIP: At least, not the parts of me that I can’t control– the physical parts of me, I mean.

PIP: In fact, the parts I can control are the very reason I’m headed the way I am!

TWEEK:What?

TWEEK: Make sense for once!

TWEEK: Since when are youso okay with how you look?

TWEEK: You can totally just– just,hide all your shit away!

TWEEK:Ugh!!!

TWEEK:You’re so annoying!!!

PIP: Now now, Tweek, there’s no need to get riled up!

PIP:I’m not even sure what I did this time.

PIP:Always so angry…

PIP:[Ahem]– Anyhow, I’ve been coming to terms with myself lately.

PIP: And I figure now is a better time than any to do so, considering my new status.

TWEEK:Man,please don’t remind me.

PIP:Well, friend, I’ll have a pretty hard time doing that right now.

TWEEK:Why.

PIP:Well for starters, I’m on my way to find Damien.

TWEEK: Oh god…

PIP: The problem here is, I haven’t the slightest clue where he might be at this time of night…

PIP:Certainly not in hell, no…

PIP:Hmm, I suppose he may be working.

PIP: I wonder if I can figure out where?

PIP: I mean, he’s told me what he does, but…

PIP:Mm, I’m not quite sure where a place like that would be around here, you know?

PIP:Oh but I’m sure someone around must know him well enough to tell me where he works.

PIP:Why, I’m sure the whole town over may know him, he could be the finest in his skillset around!

TWEEK:You’re rambling.

TWEEK: And I really, really don’t wanna hear about that guy.

TWEEK: Not any more nowthanbefore.

PIP:Oh! Sorry, sorry.

PIP:I guess I just… can’t help but be excited!

PIP:It may not feel this way for you, Tweek, but I’ve had so many memories here.

PIP: It’s just oh so nostalgic to be back!

TWEEK:Itliterally cannot feel that way for me, man.

TWEEK: I’m not even meant to be uphere.

TWEEK: I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, or what anything is.

PIP: Well I sure am not the best person to come to for advice on earth, I haven’t been here in about nine years myself, now!

PIP:Come to think of it, why didn’t you stay with the others after you ran off?

PIP:I’m surethey could have taught you a thing or two!

PIP: Much more than I, at least!

TWEEK: I can’t be around those guys right now, and you knowwhy.

PIP: Ah, right.

PIP: Well, then, maybe I can show you a few things about the surface.

PIP: While you’re here with me, that is.

TWEEK: I’m… not sure if I really wanna…–

PIP:Oh,nonsense, nonsense!

PIP: Don’t give me that act now!

PIP:You’re curious about all sorts of things, I can tell.

PIP:Why don’t you follow me to the laundromat?

PIP:And afterwards, we can have a quaint sit down at a diner for some tea.

TWEEK:I don’t know what a laundromat is.

TWEEK:Stop making things up.

PIP:Oh, I can assure you that a laundromat is very real, Tweek!

PIP: You’ve never seen one?

TWEEK: I’m from hell!

TWEEK: All there was in hell was fire and rocks,untilyou came around, and now it’s all luau torches and palm trees and– and stupid shit like that!!!

TWEEK: Not a single “””laundromat””” around, unless that’s this week’s newest stupid addition!

PIP:Oh my, no need to get hostile, dear friend!

PIP:A laundromat isn’t a tree or a torch.

PIP: It is simply a place to wash your clothes!

TWEEK:Wash… your clothes…?

PIP:Yes indeed!

PIP: I have to get all the blood off of these clothes somehow!

TWEEK:Like.

TWEEK:No, wait.

TWEEK:wait

TWEEK:You can just…

TWEEK:N

TWEEK: Wait if I go there I can WASH my SHIRT???

TWEEK:And like. Just. Have it be clean????????

TWEEK:JUST like that???

PIP:Ahahah…

PIP:You’re quite the funny one, Tweek.

PIP:I can never understand you.

PIP:Yes,you can clean your clothes, as simple as that.

PIP:You toss what you want into the washer drier, wait a little bit, and then you’re free to wear your freshly cleaned clothes to your heart’s desire.

TWEEK: What’s the–

PIP:No catch, friend.

PIP:None at all!

PIP:Come with me, and you can wash all the clothing you’d like.

PIP: The smell of a laundromat isquite lovely, too.

PIP:It’s a smell I think you’d be rather fond of.

TWEEK:Mmmmmmmmmm…

TWEEK:eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee………

TWEEK:ghgh hg gu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…

TWEEK:W-well…

TWEEK:You said you were gonna look for Damien, too, right…?

PIP:That I am!

PIP:The whole reason I’m going to wash my clothes in the first place is so I can look spick and span– just for him!

TWEEK:…Well…

TWEEK:Mmmmmmh…

TWEEK:O-okay, I’ll go with you.

TWEEK: But– but not because you taught me about anything.

TWEEK:Because I wanna find Damien, too.

PIP: Oh? Is that so?

PIP:I’ve never known you to want to be around the devil very much.

PIP: Considering you’re one of the very few who have the privilege to do so.

TWEEK: Yeah, well.

TWEEK: I wanna talk to him about something.

TWEEK: I think.

TWEEK: But if I’m following you around, could… like.

TWEEK:If it’s not for you, then could you at least just…

TWEEK:Hide all that shit soI’m not looking like a fucking weirdo or anything?

PIP:Oh I suppose, if it’ll make you more comfortable.

PIP:Let’s get a move on, then!

CRAIG:Yeah, like…

CRAIG: I don’t really get out of my friend circle that often… so most of these guys I don’t know like, at all…

CRAIG:I can’t even tell if that asshole “Tweek” guy was ever even a real person to begin with.

CRAIG:What kind of name is Tweek, anyways…

CRAIG:He doesn’t even know what a barnis.

CRAIG: And that one chick, I’m pretty sure I heard she was alive before, but like.

CRAIG:I’ve never seen her in my life.

CRAIG: I don’t think any of us have.

CRAIG:She looks kind of like a bitch anyways.

CRAIG:What fucking right did she think she had, possessing Clyde like that…

CRAIG:As for the other three…

CRAIG:Pip was always so… like.

CRAIG:Stupid.

CRAIG: He was way too nice, super gullible, and he always tried to butt his way into things.

CRAIG:I can’t tell you how many times I had to slam the door on him when he’d try and show up to my parties.

CRAIG: He also just looked like a huge nerd.

CRAIG:But now…

CRAIG:I mean he still looks like a nerd, but…

CRAIG:He’s…

CRAIG:He’s definitely more assertive.

CRAIG:I’ve never liked him before.

CRAIG:And after today, I never, ever will.

CRAIG:That Gregory guy…

CRAIG: He was like, the annoying theater kid who always had some way to one-up you in his pocket.

CRAIG:He was pretentious and a know-it-all.

CRAIG:But I never really hung around him that much.

CRAIG:He had his own theater clique anyways.

CRAIG:And now he’s got weird ooze hands that come out of his mouth and stuff.

CRAIG:Like, after all these years he still has nothing useful coming out of his mouth.

CRAIG:How the fuck is he so okay with that shit.

CRAIG: Also does he think he looks good with that pony tail?

CRAIG:He’s so disgusting.

CRAIG: He still thinks he’s hot shit though. I can see it in his stupid demon eyes.

CRAIG:And Thomas…

CRAIG:Thomas…

CRAIG: He’s only been gone for a year and a half.

CRAIG: He’s still…–

CRAIG:–I mean no, he’s definitely changed.

CRAIG:Whyelsewould he be hanging out with the group that killed Jimmy.

CRAIG: He’d never fucking do that when he was alive.

CRAIG:He’d never associate himself with douche bags like that, and yet here he is, snapping along to their stupidsongs.

CRAIG: How could he do that to me– to us?

CRAIG:…

CRAIG:Maybe it is all just my fault after all.

CRAIG:I think all I really need to say is, I’m pretty sure I hate almost every single one of them.

CRAIG:And as much as they’ve changed, they somehow haven’t changed at all, either.

TWEEK: Oh– oh okay, Stan–

TWEEK:You’re Stan, right?

STAN:yea

TWEEK: There’s so many of you man…

STAN:There’s like seven of us.

CRAIG:Would’ve been eight if Jimmy were still fucking alive.

TWEEK:Man–okay–

TWEEK:You said you have a farm?

STAN: Um yeah you were asking us like places we know I just said it like a minute ago.

TWEEK:Would Gregory know where that farm is?

STAN:Um…

TWEEK:Or Pip?

TWEEK: Or even like. Thomas???

STAN:Uh.

TWEEK: Like– would they have known it even existed before they died.

STAN: I guess not.

STAN: I mean like, I never really invited Gregory… or anybody else over or anything if that’s what you’re asking.

TWEEK: Okay, okay that’s perfect. That’s good.

TWEEK: We need to take you guys there.

STAN:To my farm?

STAN:That sounds pretty sick actually maybe my dad will let me try some of this season’s weed.

KYLE:Dude. Is this really the time to think about getting high?

STAN: We’ve had a hard day, dude.

KYLE: You almost died,dude!

STAN:I know dude.

STAN: That’s why I said we’ve had a hard day dude.

TWEEK: Can you guysstop saying dude???

STAN:No.

STAN:Anyways like, I don’t know if my mom would be cool with everybody going there without any warning…

TWEEK: Aren’t there barns on farms?

TWEEK:Can’t you guys just chill out in one of those?

STAN:I mean Iguess…

KYLE: I really don’t think it’s a good idea to hide out right where your family lives, Stan.

KYLE: What if they find us?

STAN:Huh…

STAN:What if they find my epic dad and sister.

STAN: …My dad who’s super cool and not lame…

STAN: And my totally awesome sister who loves me so much…

STAN:…

STAN:Yeah actually there are many reasons why going to the farm sounds like a good idea all of the sudden.

KYLE:Jesus christ, dude you are so fucking evil.

TWEEK:Awesome!!!

TWEEK:This is great!

TWEEK:You guys can–

TWEEK:You can go to the barn, barricade yourself in for the night, get some sleep…

TWEEK:You’ll betotallysafe, they won’t know where you are at all.

KYLE: I don’t know how much I trust how ready you are to just lock us up in a barn.

TWEEK:It’s for yoursafety.

TWEEK:Okay.

TWEEK:I’m just gonna take you all there, make sure you get inside safe, and leave you the fuck alone.

TWEEK: Everybody hold hands.

STAN:huh

TWEEK: Everybody hold hands in a circle, we’re all almost standing in a circle anyways.

TWEEK:Just hold hands with the people next to you.

EVERYBODY:…

CARTMAN:I’mnot holding hands with Kenny.

CARTMAN: I don’t wanna catch the poor.

TWEEK: Man what the fuck.

TWEEK: Just hold hands it’s not that hard.

KYLE:Howexactly is holding hands going to… take us there?

CLYDE: Holding hands is kind of gay bro I mean–

TWEEK: Holy shit just hold hands, we don’t have all night!

STAN: Okay cool. This is cool.

STAN:I really wanted to hold hands with Cartman today.

CARTMAN: Eugh Kenny, sick.

CARTMAN:I’m already feelingpoorer.

KYLE:Man, can we just get this joke over with?

TWEEK:It’snota joke man.

KYLE:Okay.

KYLE:Can we get thisprankover with?

TWEEK:Hhhhhrhrhrhrrrrgh…

TWEEK:Just– you two– hold my hands.

CRAIG:I just want you to know how much I hate this.

TOKEN:Yourealise how sketchy this all sounds, right Tweek…?

TWEEK:Look man.

TWEEK:You guys are making it way sketchier by making this take so long.

TOKEN: Just… do what you’re gonna do. I guess…

TWEEK:Okay…

TWEEK:[inhaaaaaalllleeee]

TWEEK:[exhalllllle]

CRAIG:BUHhfgj

TOKEN:woah–

TOKEN:How…

TOKEN:Wuuuuhh…

TOKEN:Oh my god…

TOKEN:Please, never do that again…

CRAIG:huuuuuuuuu…oh god my head…

KENNY:Wow…

KENNY:That’s…

KENNY:A nifty trick you’ve got…

KENNY: Really would’ve helped us like… I dunno.

KENNY:A couple hours ago, or…

TWEEK:Look man,somuch shit was happening.

TWEEK:I’m just trying to help.

KENNY: Okay, then what do you reckon we do next, dude.

TWEEK:What I “reckon” is that you all get into this red shack and hide out for the night.

TWEEK: This is the barn, right?

TWEEK: I’ve never seen a barn before. There’s no barns in hell.

STAN:yea thats a barn

TWEEK: Okay great.

TWEEK:Everybody get in.

TWEEK:And don’t, for the life of you, come out for any reason until morning.

TWEEK: If you hear someone from outside, don’t trust them.

TWEEK:Even if they claim to be your friend.

TWEEK: Even if they sound like your friend.

TWEEK:Don’t fucking do it.

TWEEK:At that point though you’re probably alreadyscrewed cause someone’s trying to get in.

TWEEK: Just don’t even make it look like you exist in this barn, I swear.

STAN: Jesus dude okay.

STAN:We get it.

STAN:We’ll stay in the barn or whatever.

TWEEK:Thank you.

CRAIG: This is sostupid.

CRAIG:Why are we even listening to this guy…

CRAIG: [Grumble grumble…]

CLYDE:Hey Tweek…

TWEEK:Huh?

CLYDE:I’m kinda really out of it right now I think.

CLYDE: Like I dunno I think whatever that chick back there did to me like…

CLYDE:Sucked all the energy out of me or something.

TWEEK: Yeah that sounds about right…

CLYDE: But um…

CLYDE: I just wanted to say.

CLYDE:Like.

CLYDE:I still don’t care that you’re a demon…

CLYDE:Or an imp… or… whatever you said you were…

CLYDE:You have claws and hooves and horns and stuff… I dunno.

CLYDE:I still think you’re cool either way…

CLYDE: I mean… like…

CLYDE:Our friend justdied…

CLYDE: And I know I’m gonna be crying tonight if I don’t pass out before I do…

CLYDE: But I can tell you didn’t want that to happen to us.

CLYDE: And I’m sorry everybody else is being mean to you…

CLYDE:[yawn]

CLYDE:Hopefully we can see you later under better… um… I forget the word…

TWEEK:Circumstances?

CLYDE:Yeah… Under better circumstances.

TWEEK:…

TWEEK:I hope so too.

TWEEK:Guys– guys, I’msosorry for what happened back there, seriously.

TWEEK:Hhhhoh my god I never wanted it to get like this, even though I knew it would I just knew it, none of them canever just let things be normal, or– or simple,or–

KENNY: Dude… shut up.

CRAIG:Give us a fucking second to breath.

CRAIG:Holy shit.

KENNY:Hey wait… isn’t this that new kid?

TOKEN: Y-yeah– yeah…

KENNY:Why can’t we ever have anything normalhappen in this town…

TWEEK: Seriously, I’m so sorry– it wasnever meant to–

CRAIG:Dude, shut up!

CRAIG:Since the moment you came around,everything’s been fucked up.

CRAIG: I can’t even thinkstraight without hearing some bullshit voices, or seeing one of my friends die!

CRAIG:You let Thomas… I…

KENNY:Are you gonna be okay, Craig?

CRAIG:Fuckno I’m not gonna be okay!

TWEEK: Hhhghhg– We– we’re all okay! Everything’s safe now, they’re not gonna follow us–

TOKEN: Tweek, it doesn’t matter if you pushed us to safety, you lied to us!

TOKEN:You told us, right to our faces– like on several occasions– that you weren’t a demon!

TWEEK:I’mnota demon!

CRAIG: Oh yeah, that’s real convincing, buddy.

TWEEK:I swear it! I’m just an imp!

TOKEN: Dude, what are you even talking about?

TOKEN: You have the horns and the wings and stuff!

TWEEK:Trust me, a demon is a totally different thing, I promise you! GHhghgh–

CRAIG: What are you even talking about?

TWEEK:W-well, for starters, demons don’t have legs like mine.

TWEEK: And being a demon is anearnedstatus, man.

TWEEK:You either gotta fall from heaven, or do something really, really fucked up in hell to earn that title.

TWEEK:I have nothing to do with any of you guys, I– I barely know any of you!

KENNY:Then why are you here?

TWEEK:Because fucking GregoryandPip and all of those assholes wanted to get back up to the surface and do whatever the hell it is they’ve always wanted to do– I don’t know, man!

TWEEK: They’ve talked to me for years about what they’d do the moment they could get back onto the overworld.

TWEEK: Pip is just going off the god damn wall or something, he wasn’t even originally planning to do everything he’s done, I have no clue why he’s doing any of this, he’s never been like this before, and I– I– hfhhjfhHGHJFHghhjgh…

TWEEK:But Gregory, Estella, and Thomas, specifically… they’ve always had a reasonto come back up here the moment I knew them.

TWEEK: Thomas is, like… he’s good. He’s way too nice. He just wanted to get back to the surface for you guys, apparently.

TWEEK:So of coursehedies. Ofcoursehe does.

TWEEK: L-like, he’ll be back, sure, but man… he did not deserve that shit, man…

TWEEK: And Estella is freaking the fuck outjustbecause shewants to, I don’t even think she’s ever said a word about any of you. Do you guys even know her???

TWEEK:Ugh– it doesn’t matter.

STAN:Hey, I have a question???

STAN: I have a fucking question hello???????

TWEEK:Wh-what…?

STAN:Why the hell is Gregory a demon?

STAN:He disappeared when he was like eleven, what could he have possiblydone that was so bad that he turned into a demon.

STAN:And youcannot convince me that asshole went to heaven.

STAN: No way he did.

CARTMAN: I always hated that guy…

STAN:Yeah exactly he’s an asshole, nobody likes him, see?

TWEEK: Trust me, I know.

TWEEK:He’s not a demon either, though.

TWEEK: None of anybody you’re dealing with are demons.

STAN:Well then what about all the horns and–

TWEEK:Look, hell is a fucked up place.

TWEEK: And I don’t mean, like, it’s awful and horrible and hellfire rains from the skies–

TWEEK:That shit endedyearsago.

TWEEK:This new hell, under the son of Satan’s reign, is so… messed up,man.

TWEEK:Everything’s so… nice. And uncontrolled. And there’s palm trees,and–

TWEEK: Man Idon’tunderstand it.

STAN:Then what’s the issue???

TWEEK: There’s nobody around punishing the unforgiven anymore, that’s the problem!

TWEEK: When the hellbound don’t get punished, their emotions fester.

TWEEK: They have time to sit there and think about everything that’s gone wrong in their life, and there’s nothing there to stop their souls from getting superfucking warped.

TWEEK: Gregory’s been so pissed off for like, years. I’ve known him for like, a few years but I can tell he’sstillnot over what happened to him.

TWEEK: He goes on and on about you, man.

TWEEK:You.

TWEEK: And like, bananas, for some reason…

STAN:…

STAN:Bananas,huh.

STAN:You’re trying to tell me that you’re a good guy, and that Gregory is pissed off at me and bananas.

TWEEK: I barely listen to him so I don’t know the whole story, but…

TWEEK: He’s pissed off at you, and he’s here to getyou.

TWEEK: I don’t know what the fuck you did man.

STAN:This is stupid.

CRAIG: Yeah, you’re still from hell!

CRAIG: You’re still fucking up all our lives.

TWEEK:RRRGH–I’mnot trying to fuck up your lives, I’m trying to stop Gregory and his stupid friends from doing anything to you guys!

STAN:Wow, great job so far, you’re like a guardian angel.

STAN:You just stood outside my house while I got choked, dude!

TOKEN: Why do you care so much about us?

TWEEK:Dumb reasons man–

TWEEK:Just–

TWEEK:Look, let me take you guys somewhere safe. Or– or like. Tell you how to protect yourselves.

STAN:Why should we take advice from you?

TWEEK:Because you’ve been standing here for the last five minutes listening to my advice, you can stand another minute or two of it, holy shit.

TOKEN:Where can we even go that’s safe at all???

TWEEK:Like. Like…

TWEEK:[sigh]

TWEEK:I don’t know.

TWEEK: We’ll find you guys some place.

TWEEK: After we do, I need to get the hell out of here, because they can obviously track me, man…

adealandadevilzine:

Dark times require hard decisions and sometimes not even holy men are safe from temptation.

Are you ready for your own personal hell?

Get ready for Judgement Day!
Are you safe from hell? Do you embrace it?

Join us in questioning morale and laws in this

A DEAL AND A DEVIL ZINE!

We are happy to announce that the aDaaD zine is FINALLY UP!

Everyone worked hard on this and did a fantastic job!
Check out our Contributorsif you haven’t yet!

There are 4 different physical bundles to buy and one option on Gumroad!

In total we have

200 pages of content surrounding Craig, Tweek and Those Guys, including:
- 7 Comics
- 11 Short Stories
- 28 Illustrations
- 2 Buttons
- 2 Charms
- 2 Posters

Get your physical copy HERE:
https://dinzine.bigcartel.com/

Get your digital copy HERE:
https://gum.co/aDaaDz

And check out our PREVIEWSof some of the works in this masterpiece!

Orders close on the 15th of December!

LAST DAY TO ORDER, GET YOUR COPY NOW OR NEVER!

adealandadevilzine:

Dark times require hard decisions and sometimes not even holy men are safe from temptation.

Are you ready for your own personal hell?

Get ready for Judgement Day!
Are you safe from hell? Do you embrace it?

Join us in questioning morale and laws in this

A DEAL AND A DEVIL ZINE!

We are happy to announce that the aDaaD zine is FINALLY UP!

Everyone worked hard on this and did a fantastic job!
Check out our Contributorsif you haven’t yet!

There are 4 different physical bundles to buy and one option on Gumroad!

In total we have

200 pages of content surrounding Craig, Tweek and Those Guys, including:
- 7 Comics
- 11 Short Stories
- 28 Illustrations
- 2 Buttons
- 2 Charms
- 2 Posters

Get your physical copy HERE:
https://dinzine.bigcartel.com/

Get your digital copy HERE:
https://gum.co/aDaaDz

And check out our PREVIEWSof some of the works in this masterpiece!

Orders close on the 15th of December!

3 days to go!

Only 3 more days until the time to order is over! Get your digital or physical copy if you can!

@fandomzines

adealandadevilzine:

Dark times require hard decisions and sometimes not even holy men are safe from temptation.

Are you ready for your own personal hell?

Get ready for Judgement Day!
Are you safe from hell? Do you embrace it?

Join us in questioning morale and laws in this

A DEAL AND A DEVIL ZINE!

We are happy to announce that the aDaaD zine is FINALLY UP!

Everyone worked hard on this and did a fantastic job!
Check out our Contributorsif you haven’t yet!

There are 4 different physical bundles to buy and one option on Gumroad!

In total we have

200 pages of content surrounding Craig, Tweek and Those Guys, including:
- 7 Comics
- 11 Short Stories
- 28 Illustrations
- 2 Buttons
- 2 Charms
- 2 Posters

Get your physical copy HERE:
https://dinzine.bigcartel.com/

Get your digital copy HERE:
https://gum.co/aDaaDz

And check out our PREVIEWSof some of the works in this masterpiece!

Orders close on the 15th of December!

adealandadevilzine:

adealandadevilzine:

Dark times require hard decisions and sometimes not even holy men are safe from temptation.

Are you ready for your own personal hell?

Get ready for Judgement Day!
Are you safe from hell? Do you embrace it?

Join us in questioning morale and laws in this

A DEAL AND A DEVIL ZINE!

We are happy to announce that the aDaaD zine is FINALLY UP!

Everyone worked hard on this and did a fantastic job!
Check out our Contributorsif you haven’t yet!

There are 4 different physical bundles to buy and one option on Gumroad!

In total we have

200 pages of content surrounding Craig, Tweek and Those Guys, including:
- 7 Comics
- 11 Short Stories
- 28 Illustrations
- 2 Buttons
- 2 Charms
- 2 Posters

Get your physical copy HERE:
https://dinzine.bigcartel.com/

Get your digital copy HERE:
https://gum.co/aDaaDz

And check out our PREVIEWSof some of the works in this masterpiece!

Orders close on the 15th of December!

@fandomzines

adealandadevilzine:

Dark times require hard decisions and sometimes not even holy men are safe from temptation.

Are you ready for your own personal hell?

Get ready for Judgement Day!
Are you safe from hell? Do you embrace it?

Join us in questioning morale and laws in this

A DEAL AND A DEVIL ZINE!

We are happy to announce that the aDaaD zine is FINALLY UP!

Everyone worked hard on this and did a fantastic job!
Check out our Contributorsif you haven’t yet!

There are 4 different physical bundles to buy and one option on Gumroad!

In total we have

200 pages of content surrounding Craig, Tweek and Those Guys, including:
- 7 Comics
- 11 Short Stories
- 28 Illustrations
- 2 Buttons
- 2 Charms
- 2 Posters

Get your physical copy HERE:
https://dinzine.bigcartel.com/

Get your digital copy HERE:
https://gum.co/aDaaDz

And check out our PREVIEWSof some of the works in this masterpiece!

Orders close on the 15th of December!

@zine-scene@fandomzines

adealandadevilzine:

Dark times require hard decisions and sometimes not even holy men are safe from temptation.

Are you ready for your own personal hell?

Get ready for Judgement Day!
Are you safe from hell? Do you embrace it?

Join us in questioning morale and laws in this

A DEAL AND A DEVIL ZINE!

We are happy to announce that the aDaaD zine is FINALLY UP!

Everyone worked hard on this and did a fantastic job!
Check out our Contributorsif you haven’t yet!

There are 4 different physical bundles to buy and one option on Gumroad!

In total we have

200 pages of content surrounding Craig, Tweek and Those Guys, including:
- 7 Comics
- 11 Short Stories
- 28 Illustrations
- 2 Buttons
- 2 Charms
- 2 Posters

Get your physical copy HERE:
https://dinzine.bigcartel.com/

Get your digital copy HERE:
https://gum.co/aDaaDz

And check out our PREVIEWSof some of the works in this masterpiece!

Orders close on the 15th of December!

@fandomzines@zine-scene

Dark times require hard decisions and sometimes not even holy men are safe from temptation.

Are you ready for your own personal hell?

Get ready for Judgement Day!
Are you safe from hell? Do you embrace it?

Join us in questioning morale and laws in this

A DEAL AND A DEVIL ZINE!

We are happy to announce that the aDaaD zine is FINALLY UP!

Everyone worked hard on this and did a fantastic job!
Check out our Contributorsif you haven’t yet!

There are 4 different physical bundles to buy and one option on Gumroad!

In total we have

200 pages of content surrounding Craig, Tweek and Those Guys, including:
- 7 Comics
- 11 Short Stories
- 28 Illustrations
- 2 Buttons
- 2 Charms
- 2 Posters

Get your physical copy HERE:
https://dinzine.bigcartel.com/

Get your digital copy HERE:
https://gum.co/aDaaDz

And check out our PREVIEWSof some of the works in this masterpiece!

Orders close on the 15th of December!

canela-coffee:

@adealandadevilzine

Hello my readers,

I’m participating in the A Deal and a Devil Zine! This is a small preview of my fanfiction before preorders show up. I apologize for the low quality picture because I uploaded it on mobile.

Please spread the word and check out all the amazing artists and writers in our zine!

AAaaaAaaah

ImpTweek And Pastor Craig

#SouthPark #southparkfanart #Fanart #TweekTweak https://t.co/jIvdoOeQqS