#keep yourselves safe for me
In December, we visited family over my kids’ school break.
We wore masks everywhere we went. Our entire family is vaccinated, and those who can receive booster doses have done so. We only had contact with our own immediate family. In spite of all this, I contracted Covid-19.
I have an immune system disorder, but my health has been good over the last year. I’m in my thirties. I have no history of lung problems. My Covid-19 progressed over the course of three weeks. I recently retested, and I’m currently negative, which means I’m no longer infectious. I absolutely believe that my vaccination kept me out of the hospital so far.
Unfortunately, I’ve now developed pneumonia. I have “walking pneumonia,” which is colloquial term for the least dangerous stage of infection. Basically, it means you can still function. A lot of people with mild pneumonia do not seek treatment because they mistake it for a cold or flu. If your immune system is very healthy, and you weren’t already sick, you might recover on your own, but it’s still better to seek treatment and avoid the risk of progression.
I have a persistent dry cough, fatigue, headaches, trouble breathing, and night sweats. It gets worse over the course of the day. I’m taking shallower, more frequent breaths; my body adapted to doing that very quickly. If I sit still and don’t talk, I can almost forget I have it, which can be confusing if your life is pretty sedentary.
Viral pneumonia can actually loweryour core body temperature. This means you may not develop a fever. This is particularly common for people with weakened immune systems (such as those who are also fighting off Covid-19).
Pneumonia comes in two varieties: Viral and bacterial. The bacterial variety is more dangerous, but the viral version is harder to treat. My oxygen saturation is still good. If my pneumonia turns out to be bacterial, and responds well to treatment, then I’ll avoid hospitalization.
Avoiding hospitalization is so important, guys. Our hospitals (in the USA) are at capacity. They cannot afford to take on patients who wouldhave recovered if they’d just treated themselves earlier.
If you have anysymptoms of Covid-19, please get a PCR test. I was negative on the home tests, possibly because I was testing too soon after infection and possibly because home tests aren’t as accurate. Households in the USA are entitled to four free home tests, which you can order right here. A home test is way better than no test, friends.
If you develop even mild breathing problems, contact a doctor. Take all of the medicine prescribed to you.
According to my doctor:
1) If you get out of breath walking short distances or up stairs, and that’s not typical for you
2) If you can’t get any relief from cough medicine, or your cough seems to be getting worse instead of better
3) If you hear any whistling sounds when you breathe (wheezing)
Go to the ER. Don’t wait.
Get vaccinated. Wear a mask. This really is dangerous.
Please, friends. Keep yourselves safe for me.
XOXO, Earnest
I initially responded to this ask in the middle of last night.
In the morning, I felt my response was too harsh. This was just one of so many similar asks, and certainly not the rudest. It just hit at the wrong time. A couple things were going on, and I’m always wordy so I put the second half under the cut.
1)Lots and lots and lots of people were calling me white on Tumblr. Some of them came at it sideways (“it’s giving White Savior,” “passing people might as well enlist,” “did your brown rub off in the shower lol”), but plenty more just straight-up called me a white person.
I’ve been really open about white-passing on Tumblr over the last year, because I feel that’s an important disclosure to make when I talk about Romani issues. I experience a lot of bigotry because of it. A lot. As in, at least one new asshole every couple weeks. I get deluges of it any time I post about something controversial.
I’m not white. I don’t have a “white side.” Both my parents are Romani, as are all four of my grandparents. It’s veryracist to call me a “white person” just because I don’t look the way you expect a POC to look. Not to mention, none of you actually know what I look like.
I assume, in my kinder moments, that people think they’re punching up. You can’t really punch up at a Roma anywhere in the world, okay, but many Americans don’t understand that. I have some privileges. I breathe through it and move on.
Days like yesterday, I’m less charitable. It was too much.
2)I was answering a lot of messages and asks.
I did notexpect to get so many questions. People wanted advice on how to navigate conversations about the Oscars with white people in their lives. Some younger people already had upsetting conversations, and just wanted support.
(If you’ve sent me an unanswered message, I promise I will get back to you as soon as I can. If you sent an ask, be sure you come off anon so I don’t have to answer you publicly. I don’t want you to see a rude comment before I can take care of it.)
I know that the Tumblr consensus was that everything I said in my post was “common knowledge.” I experienced first-hand that it is not. I left the post up as long as I did because it really was helping people. They felt safe to contact me, and talk over things that made them vulnerable. Several of them started their messages by telling me they felt stupid, and that sucks! They aren’t stupid! It was hard to watch so many BIPOC imply that everyone should know how white people will react, so it’s infantilizingto say the quiet part out loud. Not everybody has your life experience. Not everybody has your social awareness. It doesn’t make anyone an infantbecause they need this stuff explained to them.
I’ve tried very hard to be a safe place for people to come online, and that’s why I took down my original response to this ask. I rarely lose my temper on here. I just let myself get stretched too thin.
Was my post “necessary?” I don’t know. What would make it necessary? Is it enough that some people found a sympathetic ear, and some advice from stranger who won’t judge them for asking?
Was it “very stupid?” No. It was probably worded badly, but it was also true. If you don’t learn how to navigate situations like this from a relative or a friend, you’re going to learn it the hard way. It’s awful. I don’t want people to end up in awful situations.
Look, I’m a mom and an aunt. I know I bring some of that energy to Tumblr. So many of my followers are teenagers, and young adults. I always want young people to have the knowledge and the tools to make a choice, and to stand by that choice when it gets challenged. I want them to avoid some of the heartbreaks we had to endure.
There is no “common knowledge” when it comes to race relations, and it’s frustrating to see smart people act like it exists.
So, anyway, I took the post down because people were being both anti-Roma and anti-white-passing. That hurts. I can take criticism pretty well online, even when it’s en masse, but I’ll admit that this kind of bigotry wears me down. You can hate my post for its own sake. You don’t have to disrespect my race.
I struck a raw nerve, and that definitely wasn’t my intention. Honestly, I’m not sure why the post got so much traction. I apologize that it was worded in a way that made people feel talked down to. That’s my error. I truly don’t have an opinion on who was in the right/wrong at the Oscars, but I do know a lot about protecting yourself in white spaces. When we watched it happen live, in our living room, I knew immediately that ordinary people were going to get hurt. My inbox proved me right. So, I am very sorry for the way I said it. I’m not sorry for saying it.
I also apologize for bringing up spanking/smacks in the post, and I admit that I did notexpect it freak so many people out. Maybe that’s a function of my age/stage of life? Maybe where I grew up, or the culture I as raised in? I think it was triggering. That was in poor taste. I’m sorry.
There was criticism I agreed with, and will take to heart.
XOXO, Earnest
Reminder that cis people get “gender-affirming” procedures performed all the time! Most electrolysis and laser hair removal is performed on cis women, and it’s safe and legal to perform on teenagers. Most breast augmentation and butt/hip enhancement is performed on cis women. Cis women are the most common recipients of hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Cis men are the ones who receive most testosterone therapy, testicular prosthesis, jaw and chin implants (though this is on the rise in cis women, too), beard transplants, and implants designed to mimic muscle mass in biceps, calves, and abs.
Andsurgery on sexual organs? Yep, cis people get that, too.
Most of these procedures are performed to help the recipient feel more “feminine” or “masculine,” or to move them closer to a gendered beauty standard. Although they’re often left out of the discussion, intersex people receive many of these therapies and procedures as well. Just as with trans individuals, gender-affirmation is important to mental and physical health. Laws designed to limit access to medical care for trans folks affect us all.
But honestly?
Hurting trans folks is reason enough to oppose them.
Affirming your gender is your right.
You have no right to interfere with someone else’s medical care.
So, in case you were wondering:
TERFs aren’t welcome here. Fuck off.
