#mary sue

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Just leaving this here because I absolutely hate the PPG art style.-Chrysolite

Just leaving this here because I absolutely hate the PPG art style.

-Chrysolite


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lmao i said i wasnt gonna post anymore but this is too fuckin good not too~Mod Raiku

lmao i said i wasnt gonna post anymore but this is too fuckin good not too

~Mod Raiku


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redraw of post/145831092662-yo! this is hella nice!~Mod Raiku

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yo! this is hellanice!

~Mod Raiku


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There is, perhaps, no greater insult to a female character than to call her a Mary Sue. Doing so reduces her to an unrealistic caricature, an author’s self-insert. It makes her worthless because that’s how we see Mary Sue’s.

Unfortunately, outside of “chick-lit”, it’s almost impossible to write a female character without someone labeling her as a Mary Sue. It’s the new insult of choice. Calling a female character a Mary Sue is almost as cliché as Mary Sues themselves.

Seriously, just do a quick search on Rey from the new Star Wars movie or the Hunger Game’s Katniss Everdeen and you’ll find hundreds of articles debating if these characters are actually Mary Sues. We’re not here to join those debates. We’re here to talk about why they don’t matter.

Most people don’t care if your character is the biggest Mary Sue on the planet or if she can happily say “Mary who?” All they care about is whether or not she’s fun to read about.

After all, that’s why we don’t like Mary Sues. They’re not fun. They have no personality or they’re so over-the-top perfect that they’re impossible to relate to. Thus do I present you with The Mary Sue test! A short little quiz by Kat Feete that’s mandatory for all writers. I don’t even care if you don’t have a specific character in mind when you take it, just go read through the questions.

If ones like the one below make you laugh, then stop worrying about the dread Mary Sue Label and get back to writing! If it makes you blush and feel a bit ashamed, then maybe you should go read another hundred books or so to develop your character judging abilities.

  • Your character suffers terrible guilt for something she did in the past.
    • But it wasn’t actually her fault.
    • Anyone sensible can see it wasn’t her fault. Other characters spend story time trying to convince her of this.

If you’re still worried, send me a message and we can talk it out together. (Be sure to mention if you want a private reply)

fiction-is-not-reality2:

monster-bait:

socksual-innuendos:

socksual-innuendos:

fandom kids these days really be out here pretending like fandom wasnt invented by housewives that were super into star trek 

They were also kinky bitches.

Sex pollen? Trekkie house wives invented that trope.

Going into heat? Tekkie wives said were gonna write it.

Fuck or die was basically trademarked in Trekkie fic

Any common lewd or ship trope in fandom existance? Thank some 25yo+ ladies who were really into Star Trek.

Mary sue is literally named for a (i believe) self insert into Trekkie fic.

These bitches ran so you could bitch about people walking while you crawl.

Never forget

To source it: 

Sex Pollen: 50/50 credit between canon Poison Ivy and Star Trek (1966/1967)

Heat: Star Trek’s Pon Farr, but also canon elements of Sime-Gen (which, haha still draws from Star Trek) 

F/uck or die: see Pon Farr again 

Mary Sue: was coined in 1973 by Paula Smith who wrote a parody fic entitled “A Trekkie’s Tale” in her zine Menagerie, basically as a rant response to a trend in characterizations.

“Any common lewd or ship trope in fandom existance? Thank some 25yo+ ladies who were really into Star Trek.”

Absolutely accurate. Star Trek fandom really had it and made it all. 

Has the world seriously forgotten that the term “Mary Sue” actually came from the Author Named Mary Sue, whose books were so boring because her characters were so perfect that there essentially was no plot? That fandoms and fanfiction is absolutely the worst offender with “Mary Sue” characters because we have a tendency to love our fandoms and our stans and we just refuse to write their flaws unless it is in fact helpful in which case it isn’t actually a flaw…

Menagerie was a Star Trek fanzine run by Paula Smith that was best known for giving fandom and the EMenagerie was a Star Trek fanzine run by Paula Smith that was best known for giving fandom and the E

Menagerie was a Star Trek fanzine run by Paula Smith that was best known for giving fandom and the English language the term “Mary Sue,” from a parody of aspirational wish-fulfillment characters in fan-fiction.

There was a weird fandom theory back in the day that Paula Smith, known for her cutting, curmudgeonly fan reviews, was actually a female pen name for Harlan Ellison to hide his love of slash. “Paula Smith is Harlan Ellison” started as a crank theory but transformed into a deeply tiresome and overly repeated private joke. 


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THE FORCE AWAKENS is cool and all, but it’s even better with Snapchat filters!

greelin:

greelin:

having self-inserts for shit is good. fun. healthy, even. i encourage it.

90% of the media created by grown ass well known men is just them inserting themselves into a fantasy. like. you are allowed this. it’s good. you are fine. allow yourself to have fun

You know a movie is bad when people start with the phrase “visuals are stunning.”

Mulan actress was blunt without emotion, the movie could have so much more emotion and humanity and doesn’t make us feel nothing at all.

Also she’s perfect. She have the special chi, she’s the chosen one bullshit. That’s not what Mulan original meaning, Mulan works hard tries so hard and this chick are just perfect in every fight she never struggles! Whats wrong with a daughter that wants to fight for her father instead of the calling to fight for China? Wants wrong with humbleness and working hard and fail sometimes?

So the message is, women must be better than the men so that men can accept us. We are teaching little girls that they must be perfect always with this Rey and Captain Marvel.

That’s message is so conflicted and wrong.

#trunks    #kid trunks    #gotenks    #universe 7    #caulifla    #mary sue    #universe 6    #son goten    #super saiyan    #dragon ball z    #dragon ball super    #gardetrace    

New Post has been published on https://bit.ly/3Mh3nxw

Confessions of a Mary Sue: Can Bad Fan Fiction Be Beneficial?

by Rachel Dvorak

I used to writesomeHarry Potter fan fiction.”

I’ve said this line to more people than I’d like to admit. Almost always with the same expression. My voice was soft, my eyes downcast, and a burning sense of shame filled my stomach.

There’s a reason for this. You see, fan fiction does not have the greatest of reputations. It often conjures images of either fun but ultimately worthless smut or silly teenagers projecting their romantic fantasies onto fictional characters through self-insertion and a slew of Mary-Sues, Gary-Stus, and dozens of other hyphenated monikers.

These images are why I have always been ashamed of my fan fiction writing. But now that I’ve grown older, should I be ashamed of it? Is fan fiction genuinely worthless? A silly distraction at best and a horrible time-waster at worst? Lately, I’ve started to think about my past fan fiction writing career. It was filled with a lot of the cliches and tropes mentioned above. But now, I’ve concluded that my years of writing fan fiction were not entirely useless. To explain how I came to this conclusion, I will tell you the entire story.

I wrote my first fan fiction at 17, and it was terrible. The story was filled with tropes people deride, including self-insertion, poor grammar and spelling, and a Mary-Sue heroine. At the time, I didn’t realize that. I was too busy hurriedly getting all my feelings, thoughts, and daydreams about my favorite fictional world onto the page. I didn’t have time to worry about misspelled words or punctuation.

What inspired this frenzied desire? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

It was the summer of 2003. At the time, I didn’t think of myself as a writer. Sure, I would write bits and pieces of stories in my own time, and I would dream up fictional scenarios and think about giving birth to them as full-fledged novels. Despite that, I had never once finished a story. I would start work on a writing project and quit halfway through, convincing myself that the idea was stupid or that no one would ever read it.

Then Sirius Black died.

I’d been through fictional death before. I’d read Little Women and cried when Beth died. I’d cried as well when Cedric Diggory passed in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire three years earlier. But, this time, something was different. It didn’t feel like enough to cry about Sirius while reading, close the book, and forget him. I kept going over the reasons for his death in my head. I knew they made sense in the storyline, but I still couldn’t accept it. So, as I often did when I was upset, I turned to daydreaming. Inspired by frequent listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack (in preparation for our high school musical in the fall), I created an alternate reality in which a musical theater actress enters the Harry Potter universe with the sole aim of saving Sirius Black from his fate. Eventually, I decided to write down this daydream and throw it on fanfiction.net.

When I published the first chapter, I was surprised and relieved to receive two positive reviews from people eagerly awaiting the story’s continuation. I was given a confidence boost by this and continued writing. I spent the rest of the summer holed up in my room, neglecting my school assignments and many other things in favor of pounding out my story. As I stated at the beginning, the story was terrible. Besides spelling and grammar mistakes, my heroine bore a striking resemblance to me as I wished I was, and she also had little depth or natural character. But, despite all of these flaws, positive reviews for my story kept coming. There weren’t many of them. Maybe two per chapter. That didn’t matter. The fact that there were people out there, even just two people, who seemed to enjoy my writing and wanted me to continue was enough to spur me on.

I completed my first written work in September of 2003. My two faithful reviewers were sweet and enthusiastic to the end. But I didn’t want it to be the end. At this point, writing fan fiction had become an addiction. In my senior year of high school alone, I wrote three novella-length fanfiction stories and two short stories. They were all in the same vein, with female characters that much resembled me doing things that I wanted to do in the universe, including punching an unlikeable character, Percy Weasley, in the face and dating a younger version of my favorite male character: Remus Lupin.

My fever for writing, in general, continued through college. By now, I wrote the occasional original short story or play in addition to my fan fiction. When the sixth Harry Potter book came out, I found a new reason to write.

In 2005 I became infatuated with an older boy at my university. Through signals, occasional looks, and brief touches, I had convinced myself that he felt the same way but didn’t want to say so. In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, when Tonks revealed her feelings for Remus Lupin and Lupin expressed his reluctance to be with her even though he clearly loved her, I was ecstatic. I became convinced that this challenging, angst-filled, yet strangely romantic scenario mirrored my own.

Of course, I had to get this feeling out on paper. In a multi-chapter examination of Lupin and Tonks’ relationship, I found a creative outlet for my feelings. In Tonks’ passion, frustration, and a hint of hope, I was able to safely express the pangs of unrequited love I felt. Through Lupin, I was able to project what I hoped the object of my affection felt about me. Over two years, I wrote that story and many other Lupin and Tonks fan fictions. Through Livejournal, I discovered a whole community of fellow Lupin and Tonks shippers. These beautiful people, many of whom were genuinely excellent writers, gave me advice and encouragement to strengthen my skills in fanfiction and my original works.

I remember receiving advice on developing characters’ thoughts, feelings, and inner life. Good advice on how to show and not tell the audience what I wanted to say and even suggestions on how to improve my editing, proofreading, and grammar skills. Slowly, with the help of my new fan fiction colleagues, my writing began to improve. I was now submitting my own original stories to local contests. I even wrote a play chosen from several to be performed at my college. Confidence in my writing grew. Through it all, I continued to flesh out my angst-filled vignettes based on Lupin and Tonks’ relationship.

Then, one day, when there were only two chapters left to write in my great “epic,” I stopped. I couldn’t have told you if you had asked me why I never again updated that story. I might have said I didn’t have time. I was graduating from college and working a part-time job, after all. But, as my school work and job hadn’t kept me from writing other “one-off” stories in the Harry Potter universe, that explanation didn’t exactly ring true. The truth was, every time I sat down to write the penultimate chapter in this story, something stopped me, and I couldn’t make myself finish the story.

It wasn’t until years later, when I got a wild urge to look back at this old fan fiction, that I saw the date on the last updated entry and realized what had happened. I stopped writing my epic love story in October of 2007. That was the same month and year that I entered my first genuinely adult romantic relationship with a young man from the new college I had transferred to. Even though the story hadn’t ended for Lupin and Tonks, it was over for me. And while I wrote several more tales about this couple, that particular tale of longing, angst, frustration, and passion wasn’t something I needed to write anymore.

Looking back, I now realize that’s what fan fiction was for me. It was a safe space where, in complete anonymity, I could express my fears, my doubts, my views, and my longings. It was also a place where I could safely play around with plot ideas, writing styles, and points of view.

Now, with a published play, novella, and several ghostwritten works for Kindle under my belt, not to mention a career as an advertising copywriter with a national marketing agency, I realize how much of my life I owe to that first self-insertion fan fiction story. Writing that story showed me that I could finish the tales I started, that people would want to read my work, that people are willing to help and support me, and that I have a safe place to express myself.

The truth is a “bad” fan fiction that helps a teenage girl express and deal with her feelings can be just as beneficial as any great work of literature. Everyone has a strong emotion or impulse that needs to be let out at some point in time. The strength of our thoughts, feelings, and impulses makes us human beings. I believe that genuinely successful humans are the ones who find creative outlets for their intense emotions. Rather than snapping at strangers in a shopping line, destroying property, harming themselves, or harming others, these people find a way to channel their energy into creation. Fan fiction is one way to do that.

The way to measure fan fiction is not in its literary merits (though there is fan fiction out there that genuinely shines in this area). Instead, fan fiction should be measured by what it gives to its writers and readers.

It gives its writers a place to work out their emotions, trials, joys, and fears. And it provides its readers another escape into a world they love.

Now that I’ve come to realize that (well into my thirties, I might add), I’m no longer ashamed about admitting my terrible fan fiction writing past. Earlier this year, I let my husband read some of my oldest fan fiction works. I was lucky to marry a Star Wars fan who loved watching fan films when he was younger (and occasionally still does). From my very first shame-faced admission early in our relationship, he’d understood and accepted my fan fiction writing.

Now, I’ve come to accept it myself. Fan fiction is what made me the writer and the person I am today.

So, to fan fiction writers, especially young fan fiction writers, my message is this: keep going. Even if people deride your work as “self-insertion” or your characters as “Mary-Sue”or“Gary-Stu.” Even if authors and pundits decry fanfiction as “plagiarism”or“unoriginal.” Don’t listen to them. Listen to yourself and listen to your readers. If you feel something inside that compels you to finish this story about a world you love, that is all that matters. If you write fan fiction, you need to write it; chances are, someone out there needs to read it.

That’s the lesson that writing terrible fan fiction taught me. And it made all the difference.

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I’m trying to find good Dilandau fanfics…but I keep finding these stories where the author invents some OC love interest for Dilandau that’s supposed to be the Hitomi to his Van and I just can’t..

I was asked by sandalwoodandsunlight!

1.What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Well, most of them it’s not that i don’t get but I don’t see the great appeal with them. Like, in Orphan Black I was surprised to find out that Cophine (CosimaXDelphine) was the major ship of the show and, again it’s not that I don’t like them (I loveeee Cosima) but Delphine… idk something about her has always felt off to me and so I never really cared about her character. Another ship I was surprised to find it was so popular was Zutara (ZukoXKatara) from Avatar. I can see why people like them, bad boy good girl and stuff but I saw this show back when I was 12 (you can watch it at any age though) and it was the time when I would have definetely shipped anything of the sort, Twilight was my life too back then, and yet… Zutara never even seemed like a thing for me. The show was developed into such a way that those ships and fangirling had no place for me. I don’t know exactly why that happened though, but I was surprised when, after years and joining tumblr I remembered the show and started to search for content and Zutara was everywhere!

5.Do you have a NoTP in [insert fandom here]?

I don’t know if this is correct considering how I’m not a part of this fandom anymore but most of the ships in TVD and the Originals are NoTP for me. Especially Delena, Steroline, Beremy (Because fuck you, Jeremy you never loved her), Klaroline, Klayley, Klamille, Haylijah and all romantic ships including Katherine. This is going to be a long one.

Delena… well it pretty much explains on its own. It’s a toxic relationship with Elena having to be careful all the time not to piss him off, making Damon sad or anything (even when they are not together) because he could kill her family/friends to get back at her, like he has done so many times before. Their relationship is based on Elena walking on eggshells around him and making sure she and everybody pleases him so he won’t get mad. Abusive much?

Steroline could have been a good ship, love born out of friendship, though I never shipped them romantically I would have still supported it… had it not been for the fact that it was built so that Caroline could become the new lead. It’s not that i don’t want her to be the new MC, God knows Elena sucks at it too much now BUT the writers have the stupid, misogynistic idea that in order for a woman to be lead she has to be fuckeable by the male leads. Why couldn’t it just be Caroline driving the story forward and if they wanted the romance could have been a side plot? Nope, everything ahs to be about Stefan. For fuck’s sake the most important person in the world for Caroline died and it wasn’t even about her! It was about Damon and Stefan, Caroline was a nuinsance in the plot of her MOTHER’S DEATH HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT??

Klaroline’s obvious problem was Klaus, of course but, surprisingly enough it was one of the most well balanced ship there were in the show, at least further on in the seasons. Klaus respected Caroline up to a certain degree but his selfishness and fears fueled by 1000 years of paranoia were too much for a healthy relationship.

WithKlayley it doesn’t help that Hayley is the Celaena Sardotien of the TVD universe, a female character proclaimed as “strong” and “independent” because she says some sassy lines and does impossible ass kicking from time to time, even though she is completely useless to the plot and to save her ass. In fact, both characters are the same time of Mary Sue:

Warrior!Sues: The Warrior!Sue is usually loud, obnoxious and (of course) an amazing warrior. She’ll usually have some tragic past that led her to become a warrior, and she’ll upstage all of the Canonical characters with her mad Sueish powerz.

Celaena:

Dorian:“I don’t recall you being so talkative.”

“Well, perhaps if you’d taken the time to speak with me, you’d have found me to be so.”

Obnoxious,checked.

Yes, but I’m Adarlan’s Assassin!”

Loud,checked.

Dead parents, looking for revenge, checked.

Amazing skills despite lack of self-discipline and less of eight years training against people who have twenty years in the killing bussiness. Checked.

Hayley:

“By the way, thanks for your help tonight, Elijah. I’m sorry that it takes me being in danger for you to even talk to me. “

Obnoxious,checked.

“I am your Queen!”

Loud,checked.

Dead parents, looking for revenge, checked.

Amazing skill despite having just become a hybrid. Being able to defeat a 1000 old original vampire by SCREAMING. Defeating a 1000 year old original hybrid despite no training whatsoever. Checked.

In the end, when one part of the otp is shitty, it’s bad, when both are… well then it sucks. Besides that, their relationship is abusive as fuck. Klaus can treathen Hayley that he can kill her all he wants and then he is surprised and CHOCKES HER when she was considering having an abortion because she was so scared for her life? Not to mention the fact that he is using her to get the army whilst degrating her and constantly questioning her skills and intelligence.

Haylijah it’s pretty bad because just like all otps in TO it’s insta love/lust. But it’s not only completely out of character, it is also manipulative and shitty so, fuck you too Elijah.

Klamille, ahh any ships with for Camille are horrible because she is a sexy lamp only relevant when she can serve a guy’s purpose. I can’t think of an scene when she isn’t doing that, not even when she was looking for answers for her brother’s death, back then all of her scenes consisted of her flirting with Klaus and “psycoanalyzing” him. After that she is having sex with Marcel and being the toy father and son want to fuck with. After that she is asking Klaus to help Marcel, she is helping Elijah stay sane. She doesn’t do anything for herself or has a narrative on her own.

6.Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

I can’t really think of one right now… Oh, maybe Destiel? Not that they did anything wrong, it was just that seeing so much of it got me tired.

10.Any fandom you’re ashamed of being in?

Not really, no :/

Before you use the term Mary Sue, ask yourself, do you really understand what it means and where it originates? PROBABLY NOT.

A writer named Paula Smith coined the term in the 70s to refer to an author SELF-INSERT character. She wrote a satire of a popular trend in Star Trek fan-fiction of the time where writers would introduce a random character who came into an established universe and immediately jived with everyone and everything. A little ridiculous? Sure. But only because these young writers were forced to insert into material that already existed. Actual canon stories are RIFE with self-insert characters.

In reality, the “Mary Sue” character archetype actually helped young women and other people of underrepresented identities find a way to see themselves in popular stories which literally never featured MCs that weren’t white men. Sure, Paula Smith thought these self-inserts were a little ridiculous (internalized misogyny hello there), but most of them were written by teenagers just trying to connect with popular material.

IN FACT, male characters in “canon” stories are actually WAY MORE LIKELY to be “Mary Sues” (or Gary Stus if you wanna get gendered about it) because male writers didn’t have to write fan-fiction to self-insert, they could just do it in their own original material (which they were allowed to create because of their privilege).

JUST BECAUSE A CHARACTER YOU DONT LIKE SEEMS OP DOESNT MEAN THEYRE A MARY SUE. The Force Awakens was written by a MAN, Rey is not a Mary Sue! She is not a self-insert character! You know who definitely is? LUKE. That TEENAGER destroyed the DEATH STAR after like a week of makeshift training with one guy on a rickety old smuggler ship.

Paula Smith really grew to regret the evolution of her coined term, as it has become a tool for men to put down competent female characters and something of a specter that haunts many people trying to write non-white, non-male protagonists today. Since the 70s, Smith has pointed out that characters like Captain Kirk, Superman, and James Bond are just as much “Mary Sues”as anyone else. In 2012 she said -

“"[W]hat gets focused on in the culture is defined by boys and young men. Psychologically, there’s a turning point in men’s lives. There’s a point where they need to break away from women in their youth, and then later they come back to women as grown men, but many men never make it, never quite come back to a world that includes women as human beings.“

The next time someone tells you that your favorite female or POC character is a Mary-Sue, you give them this list:

Luke Skywalker, James Bond, James T. Kirk, Superman, Batman, Indiana Jones, Iron Man, Captain America (which is honestly PEAK self-insert), Sherlock Holmes, Ender from Ender’s Game, Peter from the Chronicles of Narnia, Ethan Hunt, Malcolm Reynolds, Marty McFly, Nathan Drake, John Carter… ETC.

Note: I actually love many of these characters, and I don’t think that any protagonist that matches the gender of the writer is a Mary Sue or a Gary Stu. My point is that these are all protagonists who, for a lot of their canon, at least, face basically no obstacles they can’t overtake just by being their OP awesome selves. Certainly many of these characters have evolved past their original “do no wrong” status, but only because they were given room to do so. They weren’t immediately written off by trolls.

STOP CALLING CAPABLE FEMALE AND POC CHARACTERS MARY SUES AND JUST ADMIT YOU DON’T LIKE IT WHEN YOU CAN’T AUTOMATICALLY RELATE TO THE PROTAGONIST ON THE BASIS OF YOUR GENDER AND SKIN COLOR.

olderthannetfic:

clover1982:

olderthannetfic:

headspace-hotel:

luulapants:

tikkunolamorgtfo:

headspace-hotel:

headspace-hotel:

headspace-hotel:

random bitter aspiring authors on “writing advice” blogs: Don’t make your main characters super special mary sues. don’t make them better than other people or more interesting. your main characters should be boring average guys with the personalities of wood pulp

the Epic of Gilgamesh: Gilgamesh was objectively the best man ever. He was the hottest, sexiest, most gorgeous hunk of pure manly awesomeness that ever lived and he used a sword that weighed 120 pounds.

The lesson here is that your main characters can be as special, overpowered, and unrealistically skilled at everything as you want, as long as this has the purpose of driving the plot via all the problems they cause (because they’re an egotistical nightmare and a gigantic raging asshole).

The second lesson here is that no matter what randos on writing blogs say, people like stories where the characters are unique and iconic. Or at least they rememberthem.

(I have a theory that the stories that form long-lasting fandoms, and/or are recognized and referenced frequently in pop culture, are stories that have the same sort of “iconic” elements that are long-lasting in folklore and mythology. I think superheroes are particularly well suited to lasting centuries/millennia into the future because they’re just so simple and memorable conceptually.)

Hi my name is Gilgamesh Hammurabi Ziusudra Euphrates Ishtar and I have the same heroic build as my lordly ancestors (that’s how I got my name) with bulging muscles and chiselled features moulded by the goddess Aruru, and icy blue eyes like the limpid waters of the Great Flood, and a lot of people tell me I look King Enmebaragesi of Kish (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da Kur out of here!). I’m not related to Ishtar but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a demi-god but I’m not immortal. I possess extraordinary strength. I’m also a king and I rule a city called Urduk, where I force my subjects to erect lots of ziggurats (I’m known for my cruelty). I’m a Sumerian (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly animal skins. I love the forbidden Cedar Forest and I slay and skin all my beasts from there. For example today I was wearing a skin made from the Bull of Heaven with a matching sheep hide skirt, gold armlets, a carnelian headband, and black combat sandals. I was wearing black kohl eyeliner to ward off conjunctivitis. I was walking outside the twin peaks of Mount Mashu at the end of the earth. I came across a tunnel which no man before me had ever entered, which I was very happy about. Two guards that were giant scorpion monsters stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

This is objectively genius writing but the size of the audience that can properly recognize its brilliance is so small

I’m just glad to be part of it

NOT THAT SMALL

Me: Reading this to my wife and trying to explain the complex mental gymnastics by which I relate to Gilgamesh putting up his middle fingers at the monsters of the gods because I did so last night.

@dovewithscales: So, you get the joke right?

Me: Yeah, it’s written in the same ridiculously terrible fanficy style as Gilgamesh, but like, modernized. It’s hilarious.

@dovewithscales​: *who is smarter than me* That’s only half of it. The other half is that it’s written almost word for word like the first paragraph of My Immortal, the worst fanfic ever written.

Me: *reads the first paragraph of My Immortal, rereads the first paragraph of The Epic of Gilgamesh … OMG. I love tumblr and my wife and humans in general. All of them are fucking brilliant and we deserve to be allowed to put our middle fingers up at the gods anytime we want as long as we are being interesting while doing it!  Also, as humans we are all fanfic for the gods. I firmly believe this. I just wish I wasn’t such a godsdamned woobie!

LOLOLOLOL

(yes, it’s a My Immortal joke)

hacksign:

Male writer creating a male character: This is Bruce Killshot. He has over 10,000 confirmed kills and is the top spy in the Super Hard To Get Into Spy Organization Of The World. He is a master of every martial art and can use virtually any weapon with ease. He’s not only a Real Gruff Man but a Ladies’ Man who smokes cigars while Having Sex With Beautiful Women but he never gets attached. He’s a Hard Whiskey Drinking Man who once killed an elephant with a toothpick and bottle of glue.

Men: this is so realistic wow such a complex character….

A woman: This is Angela, she’s the protagonist of the story and the chosen one who comes from a mystical bloodline, she has a natural talent for magic and can-

Men:THIS IS FUCKING SELF-INSERT MARY SUE TRASH ARE YOU KIDDING ME

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