#mentally ill
I haven’t really been feeling like myself lately. When I wake up I don’t wanna do anything. And when I get out of bed I don’t do anything. I just kind of waste my time. It’s funny because I have all these goals and ambitions but I just can’t bring myself to accomplish any of them.
I stay awake at night cause I don’t even know what my favorite color is and I’m afraid I don’t have a real personality.
If I’m having a panic attack or if I’m telling you how sad I am or how I actually feel. Try a hug. It’s mental illness. Mental illness. Mental illness. It’s not like “my daughter feels horrible about herself, let me hug her.” It’s “Take your medicine!” It’s “Do you need to go to a hospital?” It’s mental illness before it’s me.
Love is a lie, we’re all empty inside.
Aren’t y'all going crazey too
Some people just don’t understand how validating a diagnosis can be. Like with my parents, they worried that getting a diagnosis would be “letting it define me,” and that “there’s no point in confirming what we already know.” But having a professional sit down and tell you you’re not faking or overreacting is so relieving. Of course, there are downsides and not everybody feels the need for one, but if someone wants a diagnosis, listen to them.
OCD has you doing the weirdest things. I have this contamination obsession with certain words. There are certain ordinary, everyday words that are Bad and Unclean and I cannot say, write, or even think them. One of those words is a synonym for scent, so my friend was asking me what my favorite scent was but she used the Unclean word. I wasn’t confident that I could dance my way around the word while still keeping the conversation going so I just… lied to her and said my nose didn’t work properly. I had to live in this lie for a while where I had to keep pretending that I didn’t have that sense. It came up more often than you’d think. Just a really weird thing to do, like what even was that? And I still have that obsession so I’m more than willing to do that again if necessary.
What keeps you alive?
✨Let‘s get lost in this other world
Neurodivergent mood ™:
Practising facial expressions in a mirror
People are always like, “you’ll regret not spending time with [insert old relative’s name here] once they’re gone. Literally no. Fuck that. I called my 83-year-old grandmother the other day and she defended reconnecting with the cousins (her other grandchildren) who abused my sisters and me by telling me that they "aren’t very bright” and that she needs car rides from them. That was after she insisted that my childhood was perfect and that she was basically a martyr. I’m sorry, but I can’t love this person or most of my other extended “family.” I tried.
Do you want the honest truth about looking and feeling so different in the workplace? Yes, it is difficult to have multiple marginalized identities AND also dress differently/have visible tattoos. There will always be people who will hate me before they get to know me. There will always be whispers. There will always be stares. But you know what? Being open about who I am has literally saved my life, again and again. I have seen too much and have fought too hard to let ignorance and fear stop me from being a full, participating person in this society. I am aware that I was also born into groups with privilege, and I will continue to use those privileges to fight for others. My mission is to help in some small way to tear down this broken system and create a better world - for you, for me, for all of us.
Inktober Day 8 Frail.
When you hit your breaking point, your mind is as frail as glass.
Y’all ever get that feeling with people you meet were like I wanna be your friend but I also don’t?
I think it’s because I want to be friends with someone and I’m really excited for it and then I lose interest. They can’t ever keep my attention, it’s probably a bpd thing.
Iunno
05.12.21
That’s my bad, oops 02.19.20 • please leave caption on
im tired
of having to open my eyes for a new day
for once, i just want someone to stay
is it the way i was wired
that drives people away
im so tired of mental illness being a trend and a competition. i never feel skinny enough or sick enough. that’s a struggle in itself and then it becomes a trend?? my struggles are not your newest fad. my struggles are not for you to laugh about. you all want mental illness until your parents are crying and asking you if you meant it. until you start doing things you don’t mean out of impulse. until it gets “ugly” for you. so please, think about who your jokes are affecting.
If you are struggling in quarantine, reach me at [email protected] for me to write a positive letter to you! I won’t give a return address, but I’m willing to write to you<3
