It was five, five before you would find your time had long run out at the end of the line, and with a rushed goodbye be wisked away with both of us wishing that you could stay.
Four, on the floor, as I searched once more, all my studio apartment, for your charging chord. To be the hero one last time; to see that awestruck look in your eyes, and make one last worry dissapear in time
Three, had to be, you and me and he, not allowed to get to close, but still wanting nothing but each others company. Sneaking hand holding in the back of the car, as we shot across distances, however far.
Two, me and you, black and blue, torn up from a day that hell had surely grew, but both of us knowing what yesterday knew. Just how to get through this, when it was just me and you
One. Second to none. A number infinately more than zero, but only by a small sum. The amount of days left together. We will spend it on the run. Or we’ll spend it in the sun. Thinking up all the things we should have done.
Zero, back to five, I wish you didnt have to go. But you’ll miss work and school, I know, I know… But I’ll still be tracing the outline of your silhouette, and I close my eyes as it grows quiet in my head. And I’ll dream of you, come on you stupid sheep. Five four three two one… Sleep.
I went back and reread our first encounter. I needed some beauty, some home. Something to connect to you. It seems like a lifetime ago but it was barely over a week. We definitely rushed up the tower steps laughing and holding hands, the instant chemistry, led by the full moon. Our moon. I am saddened that my moon is forever ruined, for he is you. I have 4 minutes to be magical but all I can do is write about you. About the beautiful beginning in hopes that you’ll come back to me upon reading. We knew that it was going to be a rocky path for it was written in the cards. To meet in the Tower. Where the ledge is so narrow we must hold on tight to each other or one of us will plummet to our death, into the waves. Sadly the image depicts my death.
Today I will sit in my death, for I feel not justice, nor strength. Just an empty cup.
Our story….
The music speaks to me, transforms into my own voice. Never thought I would feel so deeply. It’s the way you smile at me, your guiding hand, your presence, it’s the way I’ve watched you change me, it’s a million things about you but I’ve never known this.Tomorrow I will rise up, out of the flame. I’ll rise up, not afraid. For you. I can be my own strength, strength for you. for me. You will always be first. My first. Because I still got a lotta fight left in me. I don’t only have one match, to make an explosion. But love, trust and submission must be earned. Piece by piece I will get up, restoring my faith. Piece by piece I will not let the waves wash me away after my fall. SOS. Save my Soul. I am not defenseless but broken, my innocence stolen. Hear my SOS. My tears finally come. Every tear an unspoken word. An army trailing down my body releasing the pain. What I need now is Love, sweet Love. I was made for loving you, even if you were just passing through. Because I can’t make you do anything, but I will stay forever humbled by you, I will lay down my heart, on bended knee, bowed forward, head down, hands in front of me, waiting for you. I will give up this fight.
