#night thoughts

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if they don’t wanna reply to your text until hours later LET THEM BE. if they don’t wanna hasn’t out with you or make plans, LET THEM BE. people will do whatever they want to. if someone wanted to put effort into seeing you, talking to you and being with you, THEY WOULD

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Qué romántica la catarsis. Tal belleza idílica de este concepto. Causa y metafora de todo fenómeno natural. Dame lluvia, temblores, truenos.

Catarsis. Te echo de menos.

“How romantic is the catarsis. Such ideal beauty of this concept. Cause and metaphor of every natural phenomenon. Give me rain, shakes, thunders.

Catarsis. I miss you.”

Nunca te conviertas en el monstruo del que tanto te has esforzado en rehuir.

“Don’t you ever become the monster you’ve tried so hard to flee.”

“You mustn’t blame the blind for not seeing, although you can blame the lame for choosing not to walk.”

IT HAS NEVER BEEN EASY

“It has never been easy”

Telling to yourself your own love story.

“It has never been easy”

To see how, slowly, you destroyed your self.

Watching how everyone else did it too.

Feeling the pain of words stabbing their hearts.

It has never been easy: washing your hands off.

Avoiding "offensive” expressions I guess,

ignoring word-laden feelings.

“It’s never easy” you tell to yourself

again and again.

While you know that you’re sinking

a little bit more each time.

“It’s never easy” you reflect.

To smell the stink of defeat

without haven’t even aspired to victory.

To skip the people you’ve never cared about.

Go unnoticed through their minds.

“It’s easy” you say.

Send it all to hell

Throw all the shit away .

Knowing that their words make you stronger

while your smile weakens them.

Translation of the poem: “Nunca ha sido fácil”

or-gu-llo-sa:

NUNCA HA SIDO FÁCIL.


Nunca ha sido fácil.

decirte a ti misma

que te quieres.


Nunca ha sido fácil

Ver como te destruías lentamente.

Observando como los demás también lo hacían

Sentir el dolor de las palabras

clavándose en sus corazones.


Nunca ha sido fácil: desentenderse.

Obviar expresiones,

“ofensivas”, se supone.

Ignorar sentimientos cargados

de palabras.


“Nunca es fácil” te dices,

una y otra vez.

Mientras sabes que te hundes cada vez más.


“Nunca es fácil” piensas.

Oler el olor de la derrota sin

siquiera haber aspirado a la victoria.

Obviar a la gente que nunca te ha importado.

Pasar desapercibida por sus mentes.


“Es fácil” Dices.

Mandarlo todo a la mierda.

Pensando que sus palabras te hacen fuertes

y tus sonrisas les debilitan.

“Now the moon’s jealous of you, ‘cause you are who light my nights and she wants to do it too”

#brian eno    #night thoughts    #textures    

So at around 7:40ish i was standing outside my workplace(obviously very dark) waiting for my parents to pick me up and there was this man there holding a baby (young dad, probably in 20s  and Im assuming he was waiting for his wife or fam that were still inside and after a minute he started talking to me (im assuming he assumed I worked there cuz of my clothes and I had my purse)

Like how they love going to the store cuz you can find everything there and whatnot and he mentioned the baby a few times so ofc I said the baby is adorable (cuz he was adorable) and he says the baby is 7 months (still normal convo)

AND THEN he goes “I like it (parenthood) …feels like it/he gives me something to live for ya know?”

And I smiled and nodded cuz aww thats adorable but I was thinking WHY IS THIS STRANGER TELLING ME HIS DEEP THOUGHTS  AT NIGHT IN THE DARK OUTSIDE

It’s your own choice, just remember that

It’s your own choice, just remember that


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I’ve always been the party girl, who was a disaster everywhere I went. As I have a boyfriend I only party with him and it’s always fun but this thursday I went out by myself (with some friends) and I was a disaster again.
I know it’s hard to believe but I don’t want to be like that anymore, I want to forget about night clubs, for me that kind of hungovers are completely a waste of time and I am done with them.

fire signs (aries, sag, leo) remind me of the 4th of july. sparkles, beautiful lights that can cause mass destruction, gathering with everyone you love. the attention on only the light. ending as fast as it started. feelings of thrill, love, passion, heat. something that can both heal and kill. loneliness and contentment all in one.

 Night Thoughts, Howard Hodgkin2014 - 201514 5/8 x 18 7/8", 37.1 x 47.9cmOil on wood

Night Thoughts, Howard Hodgkin

2014 - 2015

14 5/8 x 18 7/8", 37.1 x 47.9cm

Oil on wood


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