Look. Flying isn’t really all that scary when you think about it. I mean, there are a lot more likely ways to die than on a plane. Car crash, house fire, electrocution, drowning, auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Dream melodramatic ot3 declaration of feelings scenario (that I’m thinking about post-s5, but could certainly work for Redemption) is this:
This time it’s Eliot who steps on the bomb.
They’re only meant to be doing recon, and he almost wants to laugh when he hears the click, a little past the boundary of their mark’s sprawling land. Years of precautions and paranoia and he’s about to get taken out by a fucking booby-trap like an expendable character in one of Hardison’s action movies.
Parker and Hardison are still walking up ahead, and for a second he thinks about letting them go, letting them get clear of the danger zone and then just lifting his foot. Only he swallows, watching them, lump rising fast in his throat—he hasn’t been scared of death itself for a long, long time, but the idea of never talking to them again, never looking at them again, never telling them—
Well. It’s unbearable.
Besides that, while the placement of the device suggests it’s the only one, he can’t be sure, and besides that, it doesn’t take them long to notice he’s no longer right behind them.
‘You okay?’ Hardison calls, and the look on Eliot’s face must be answer enough, because they’re both coming back to him before he can choke out a warning.
‘So yeah,’ he manages, when they’re within a few feet of him. He holds himself very, very still, even as his heart seems to hurl itself over and over at the walls of his chest. ‘Looks like our guy went to the Udall school of home security.’
‘Eliot,’ Parker whispers, eyes dropping to his feet. Her mouth sets into a firm line. ‘How do we fix this?’
‘You can’t.’
‘It’s okay; we’re gonna figure it out,’ Hardison assures him.
‘You should get out of here,’ Eliot says, through gritted teeth. There are no wires for Parker to pull this time, no clever computer resets for Hardison to try.
‘We’re not doing that,’ Hardison says immediately, dropping to a crouch to try to get a better look at the barely-buried pressure plate, and Eliot wants to scream.
‘You need—I’m serious, you both need to get as far away as possible. We don’t know if this thing’s on a timer or—’
‘Then we’d better figure it out fast,’ Parker says, squatting down next to Hardison.
Then they’re talking to each other, the two of them, but he’s not really processing what they’re saying. Instead his pulse is thundering in his ears and he’s thinking about the pie he’d planned on making later. How they’d have both picked at the raw pastry and he’d have pretended to be annoyed at them. How they’d have argued they had just as much say in how this pie came together, because Eliot had dragged them out of the city to pick the berries specially (had watched the two of them goof around—Parker smushing a ripe blackberry against Hardison’s mouth and then kissing the deep purple stains away, Hardison putting Parker up on his shoulders so she could reach high into the hedgerows—and felt the odd mix of longing and deep contentment that is sunk into his bones by now, thrumming warm and sweet through his veins, settled forever into every atom).
It would’ve been good, that pie, and it would have been even better to watch them eat it, Parker with so much ice cream she’d get brain freeze, Hardison with that awful powder mix custard, at their dinner table in their home that they built together.
‘I need to tell you something,’ Eliot says.
‘—makes sense that it’d be deactivated remotely,’ Hardison is saying.
‘I need to tell you something,’ Eliot says, louder.
It really IS like [Eliot in the shower, curtain pulls back, Hardison: “hey are we - stop screaming it’s just me - are we past your emotional and physical barriers yet?”] tho.
I want this fic. I want BOTH of these fics. I want Hardison & Parker deciding that if Eliot isn’t going to be talkative on his own, the occasional fun and festive Shower Ambush is the way to go. He’s flustered enough to shoot answers from the hip, and naked enough to not escape easily. The escalation from ‘where’s the orange soda?’ to ‘you know we know you love us, right?’ would be a thing of beauty.
Plus, who’s going to pass up that gun (…and etc.) show? (Hardison is, because he’s a gentleman whose Nana raised him right. He [mostly] doesn’t look. Parker looks. Unabashedly. And occasionally tries to poke a scar that she hasn’t seen before. At one point a slap fight may or may not happen.)
AASJSHDHSHDHHSD“flustered enough to shoot answers from the hip and naked enough to not escape easily”
I’LL TAKE PHRASES THAT WILL LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT FREE FROM NOW ON FOR 500 ALEX
…so I wrote this It turned out SLIGHTLY more intense in places than I’d anticipated, but I kept my goofy first title idea anyway… and a lot of specific lines from this thread. So thanks to @eliot-wolfgirl-spencer,@bisexualeliotspencer, and @sun-lit-roses for the inspiration!
And I hope you all enjoy my offering of Shower Thoughts: Five times Hardison and Parker interrupt Eliot’s shower and one time he gets revenge interrupts Hardison’s
i’m just obsessed with the fact that the three of them still work so many years later. from what i’ve gotten textually from the show, yes, hardison and parker are dating, but the family unit is hardison/parker/eliot.
hardison and parker are shown to be physically affectionate, but there’s an electric and stable type of connectedness between all of them showing how in each other’s lives they have been:
eliot and hardison pointing where the stolen art belong,
parker and eliot always ending up together,
parker and hardison getting excited together,
the inside jokes,
the big decision making.
parker highlights his emotional connection to this specific team and eliot brings out his sense of duty. the other couldn’t provide the emotional support the other can, but as a unit, there’s help at every corner. parker still has eliot who has been her partner in (undoing) crime for years. eliot has parker, his partner that keeps him sharp. and both of them rest easy knowing hardison is using his big heart for good.
however, while canon has established that they have thoroughly,
thoroughly,
thoroughly
been in each other’s lives, it has not been explicitly stated it’s a polyamorous thing. canon, for me, would be them saying in no uncertain terms that eliot has also lived with them, or something like that. or perhaps, they would establish it in the middle of the second half of the season.
that being said, i have an enormous amount of fun with the show, and for whatever reason we haven’t been able to get our canon ot3, i’m so happy we see them as a family first and foremost, because it would have been so easy to let that disappear between the years.
Headcanon that right after THAT scene in redemption, the next moment Hardison and Parker have on their own Hardison turns to Parker and goes “What do you mean ‘Eliot’s looking for romance’? What do you mean "It’s not the same with us?! Babe, are we- are wenot dating Eliot, somehow?” “I don’t think he thinks he is dating us. He’s just dating us… platonically.” “We said "til death do us part”.“ "Hm-hm.” “We’ve been living together for the past 8 years. We have cuddle piles. I figured he isn’t into the sexy stuff with us but more power to him and-” “Maybe we should have talked about it.” “I thought we did! I bought him a brewpub! I thought it was obvious! Who says 'til death do us part’ platonically!” “Eliot.” “… But we’re still good, right?” “Yeah, of course, all the pretzels.” “And we’re both still in love with Eliot.” “Naturally.” “Good. Okay, cool, that’s a relief, at least that.” “…” “…” “Let’s go steal us an Eliot?” “Let’s go steal us an Eliot. Properly this time.”
There are two queens in Team Leverage and currently Sophie is leading the Home Team, and we might see Sophie as the active leader but when all is said and done, Parker is still the one with the final say.
And in the Harry Wilson Job we can see Parker in the background, pacing like a caged tiger. She’s already angry from what happened to the people in the oil rig, but this new supposed betrayal by Harry? She’s beyond that now.
Look at her pacing in the background, she’s trying to contain her anger here and then she stops pacing and stands with Eliot. She’s still and quiet and tbh, Parker is all the more scary when she isn’t moving.
Seriously, Parker is the calm stillness before the storm, I know I’ve been enthusiastic about Sophie’s mastermind energy this season, but Parker is also a power. She’s just not choosing to wield it.
The way she’s even framed in this scene, in all black, with the sunlight behind her. It’s amazing tbh.
Eliot and Sophie know that with the reputation and cred Harry gathered, he’s a prime and ideal candidate for R.I.Z.
But Sophie can’t let it go, she’s still wondering why Harry still let her go.
Parker, however, was having none of it. The way she says, quietly but firmly, Harry Wilson was all out of chances.
But also this is Team Leader!Parker, this is the time where we’re reminded and Sophie is reminded that Sophie is leading the team because Parker is letting Sophie lead the Home Team.
Look at Parker’s body language, her whole vibe doesn’t brook any arguments and Sophie can read it plain as day.
Parker is reminding Sophie Harry was her project but Parker is done.
Parker’s voice gentled a bit when she reminded Sophie ‘Not everyone can be saved.’
I think one other reason why Parker is happy that Sophie is the Team Lead because as the Team Lead, Parker found she has to put herself at a distance because of some decisions she has to make. And we’re seeing here is that Parker, Parker who is the Head of Leverage International for 9 years running.
In a way, this reminds me of the Genetic empire in the current Foundation series where there is a balance of leadership between the Three Cleon Emperors, but also they can take the current emperor in the middle seat to task when needed.
It’s a subtle moment between Sophie and Parker but we can see it hear and I love it.
Two powerful women in their prime and never butting heads but also holding the other accountable when needed. I love this show so much.
what she means: when parker tells eliot, “i’m scared you’ll move on from all this and i can’t do this without you,” it’s a direct parallel to the, “can you hear me, alec? i need you” scene in the grave danger job ep of the og show. that parker can express this to eliot without the pressure of a life-or-death situation is an enormous testament to her growth over the past offscreen decade, and the line also thematically establishes eliot as a part of parker’s life who is just as important as her current romantic partner. we thought these three people had sorted their shit a decade ago, but what we’re actually watching unfold is the slow coalescing of this found family, as eliot realizes he doesn’t want to deprive himself of good things and parker realizes she feels upset and threatened by eliot’s relationship without understanding why. parker’s jealousy is ALSO new and seems to have taken her by surprise, which means that as eliot is realizing he’s been repressing his desires, parker herself is realizing she has wants and needs that she’s never quite quantified before. add to all this the absolute fucking hilarity of eliot’s Viscerally Disturbed reaction to being called parker’s brother, and you have two people who are transparently in love but not quite far enough in their character arcs to be able to acknowledge it. hardison’s absence has made both eliot and parker way crazier to both their benefit and detriment. he needs to come home but all three of them are in fucking love and every arc choice happening here is amazing holy god i can’t believe i get to watch this i’m losing my fucking mind
I have come to the decision that I need to read more Leverage fics where Eliot goes on a rampage and just absolutely obliterates a bunch of people for taking/hurting Parker or Hardison. This could mean him slipping back into Murder Eliot mode, ruthless and calculating and efficient no one who gets in his way is left alive or this could mean him going off script; Nate, Sophie and Parker or hardison (whoever wasn’t taken ofc) try to make a plan and figure it out but when they finally look up to ask Eliot his input he’s just fuckin gone, and they’re all like shit fuck Eliot’s about to kill people, but Eliot only knocks everybody out and comes back in later with whoever was taken/hurt cradled in his arms and he’s just whispering reassurances and comfort to them and maybe he’s injured bc he couldn’t care less about being hurt he just had to get them back and eventually he’ll tend to himself but right now parker/hardison is the priority and besides, he’s always had worse and is well equipped to handle a “little” pain (depending on how much you like whump) and just aidbsbsndjxj
Lots of protective!Eliot and ot3 vibes
Anyway hit me up with links if ya know anything like that pls or maybe I should write smth like this myself
Can you imagine, if Archie’s daughter had access to AITA-reddit in 2012, after the Last Dam Job?
“AITA for ignoring my father after I found out he has a secret daughter and he disappered on me for days?
I (F, 42) recently visited my father (M, 72) with my husband and daughter. The relationship between me and my father has been a bit strained lately, ever since my mother passed about 6 months ago. Since he’d retired from his job as an accountant a few years ago, he doesn’t really have anything to do. I had been worried he was getting lonely by himself in his old house, and suggested several solutions such as moving closer to me and my family, or even residential care (he uses a cane, and can barely walk at all on bad days) but he always shot me down, telling me he was fine. He’s always been a bit distant, and can be really stubborn, so I didn’t think anything of it, but I live out of state and can’t exactly take care of him like this.
During the recent visit, my daughter, my father and me went for a walk in the neighbourhood, where I raised the topic again. However, we were interrupted, when a strange blond woman (F, early 30s?) bumped into us. My father turned around and called out to her, and asked she return his wallet, my wallet and my daughters candy! She must have pickpocketed us without me noticing, but my father seemed strangely happy about it. I asked whether they knew each other and my father just hooked his arm around the woman, said "That’s my daughter!” and walked off with her. I was too shocked to follow, and by the time I had caught myself I couldn’t find them. We returned to my father’s place and tried to call him several times, but he didn’t pick up. My husband is far more patient than I am, and told me my father would surely be back and that this must be a misunderstanding, but when he still wasn’t back by several hours later, we got worried. We asked around the neighbourhood, but no one had ever seen the blond woman before. We contacted the police but they told us they couldn’t help. The next morning I’d gotten a message from my father, telling me he’d be dealing with some “important family business” for a few days and that we shouldn’t worry about him. I tried calling him again, but couldn’t reach him.
I didn’t know what to do by then, so I started searching through his bedroom and his office. I don’t even know what I was looking for anymore, but after a while I found some hidden compartment behind one of his book shelves, with a box of fake ID’s and newspaper clippings, mostly about robberies all over the world. This on its own wouldn’t be too worrisome, as my father is a an art enthusiast and most of the articles seem to be about art robberies, I’d chalk it up to a weird part of his hobby. But for example one of the newspaper articles is from a french paper about a men dying in a car crash about 10 years ago, which matches one of the fake ID’s. I still don’t know what to think, but there’s clearly more going on. I couldn’t find anything on the woman, however.
By then, my husband suggested we should go home the next day, as the end of our planned stay was coming up anyway and I was clearly shaken. However, the next morning, my father returned, happy and acting as if nothing had happened, and I snapped. I yelled at him about how worried we were, and that I had found his secret stash of ID’s in his office. He got mad in turn, told me that I had no business snooping through his stuff. We said some pretty hurtful things to each other, but in the end he confirmed the woman’s name, and that she was “his daughter”. He told me in no uncertain terms that he would not discuss anything about her, as it wasn’t my business and that we should just “trust him”, but he ensured me that he had never cheated on my mother. I don’t know how he thinks that works, since the woman was clearly younger than me and my brother.
Still fuming I packed up my family and went home. He tried calling me several times in the following week, but I was so pissed I blocked his number and his facebook. My husband suggested I
should attempt to talk to my father again, and that I should try to calm down and try to salvage the situation, as there was clearly more to the story than we knew. But I have a right to be mad and frankly, since my father is making no effort, I want nothing to do with this mess anymore. Am I overreacting?
Edit: Thank you for the many supportive messages, it feels good to know I wasn’t overreacting. In the end, I informed my brother about the situation, like some of you suggested. He also had no idea what to make of any of this. In the end, however, my father came to visit (unannounced) and we had a long conversation I’m still a bit overwhelmed from. My father told us he met the woman when she had been a homeless teenager. She tried to rob him, and he caught her and decided to help her out, so over the next few years he gave her financial support. Her recent visit was because she ran into some kind of legal trouble (he remained cagey on what exactly, but assured us the situation was resolved) and reached out to him for help. He said he never told us about her because he knew how it would look if a man like him suddenly came home with a strange child. Our family is fairly wealthy, but at least that would explain all the extra work shifts he used to take on. When we asked why he didn’t put her into foster care, he said that she had had severe behavioural issues back then, and would have just ended up on the street regardless, at least by providing her with money and shelter, he knew she would be fine. There’s still some things I don’t understand and I’m still reeling, but I really hope he’s telling the truth and that he was a misguided philanthrope instead of cheating on my mother. I never would have expected anything like that from him. I still feel like I’m missing something, and he is far from forgiven, but at least some of the situation seems to be resolved.
Edit²: So it has been a while, but I guess you people deserve an update because a lot has happened since then. Since my father refused to give out any information on the woman, I kind of dropped the subject and our weekly calls, because I was still mad at him from keeping such a big secret. However, since my brother and I both felt like we were missing information, he ended up badgering my father about the woman’s contact information, and my father eventually caved. We managed to contact her, and she essentially confirmed what my father had told me about her. She used to be a homeless orphan until my father caught her pickpocketing. They hadn’t had much contact over the past few years anymore, and he had explicitely forbidden her from interacting with us the entire time they knew each other. I don’t think she felt too comfortable interacting with us, but I felt kind of bad and extended the offer that we could keep in contact… She really didn’t seem like she was lying, and if anything, the whole situation isn’t her fault anyway.
Long story short, we called each other a few times since then, and I ended up asking her about the fake ID’s and some other weird things she mentioned. She went really quiet and said that this was my father’s secret to tell.
Fed up, my brother and I joined forces to get all of the answers out of my father once and for all. It was a very intense conversation, but here is the gist of it: Apparently, my father was faking being an accountant for our entire lifes. He used to be a successfull international art thief up until about ten years ago, when he “retired from the business” by faking his death in a car accident, which was about the time he found the pickpocketing woman. He let her stay in a warehouse (?!) and trained her up to be his successor as a thief, although my father claims she also got out of that business recently and is now running a restaurant with her boyfriend. My mother never found out about any of this. Also, his cane doubles as some sort of taser, which I found out because my daughter almost zapped herself with it.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought anything like this could be real, and I really hope this is the last surprise in this particular mess. Thank you for your support and all the comments. I’m still mad at my father, but the entire situation has become so absurd I really don’t know what to think anymore.“
