#queer internet mom says
The Actual Age of Imaginary People
Most people have probably never seen the 1988 film For Keeps?, starring Molly Ringwald and Randall Batinkoff. It wasn’t a big hit. The acting is pretty good throughout, and the subject matter was very daring for the late 1980s, but it comes off saccharine and rather moralizing.
However! Guys!
Molly Ringwald was 19-20 years old during the filming and release of For Keeps? Her character is pregnant. And her baby-daddy is played by an actor who was also19-20 years old!
Granted, this is 8 years too late, fashion-wise, because Harry was born in 1980. For actors the right age at exactly the right time, you could watch the original version of Fame.
For Keeps?is useful, though, because it’s interesting to see a redheaded actress who (at the time) had little-if-any cosmetic surgery at exactlythe same age as Lily Potter when Harry was born.
I often think HP creators–and I include JK Rowling in this–tend to picture Lily and James much more mature than they actually were. They were 19 when Lily got pregnant. This is what real (strikingly gorgeous) 19-year-olds look like:
It’s very different from what we’re used to in film, these days, when actors of all genders begin receiving cosmetic procedures before they turn 18. Modern film actors regularly play characters 5-10 years younger than they actually are, which skews our understanding of how these ages really appear.
20-year-olds definitely don’t look anything like the actors who played James and Lily in the films, who were 43 and 34, respectively, when the first movie was released:
My parents were 21 and 22 when I was born and let me tell you: It was a fucking mess. They loved me. They had jobs. They had living, supportive parents. They had no clue what they were doing, and they were terrified.
And they weren’t soldiers in the middle of a war. So.
Always interesting, I think, to put the actual age of characters into context!
Hey folks from Christianized nations?
I know you guys don’t come here for this, but I am ONCE AGAIN begging people to consider the implications of the Santa Claus myth.
Santa knows if little children have been “bad” or “good.” He keeps a record of their behavior all year. Then, when December rolls around, Santa delivers presents ONLY to children on the “nice” list.
That’s very fucked up.
Do you know what that means to kids below the poverty line? Kids in abusive homes, with guardians who withhold gifts as punishment? Kids who are homeless, or in foster care? Kids who don’t celebrate fucking Christmas?
If Santa doesn’t bring you a gift, you were “bad.” Right?
If you aren’t a parent, or you aren’t raising your kids in a religiously diverse area, this has probably never occurred to you. But for our family–who don’t celebrate Christmas, who dolive in an area with a mix of religions–this comes up in conversation among the elementary kids. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.
And my kids? They lie for you. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.
My non-Christian kids keep your lie alive. They have never outed the Santa Claus myth to anyone. When their friends insist that Santa is real, that Elf-on-the-Shelf is real, my kids play along.
Why do they do it? We told them to keep your secret. Not out of the goodness of our hearts, but because we are afraidof you. We’re afraid you would be angry at our children. We’re afraid you’ll ostracize us for their honesty.
So very fucked up!
In the USA, people who celebrate Christmas aren’t even awareof how much they rely on the rest of us to maintain this charade. How often we’re asked to play along. How many parental lies we ignore. How often we grin and bear it, even as our own major holidays won’t qualify for a day off work. (If it’s even safe to out yourself as a non-Christian at work.)
And we’ll do it again on Easter, too.
I’m just… tired. It’s a stupid lie. It’s exhausting.
The Santa Claus mythology sucks. Lying to your kids for years about who buys their presents is ridiculous. Telling every child in the country that their “niceness” or “naughtiness” will determine how many gifts they receive on December 25th is just… cruel. It’s cruel.
It also, incidentally, has nothing to do with your religious practice. Plenty of non-Christians celebrate secular Christmas, lies about Santa and all! It’s like people think kids can’t enjoy the holiday without believing in Santa Claus which, logically, we all know isn’t true. Nearly everybody stops believing at some point. Does Christmas just suck from then on? I’m just saying…
You don’t have to do it. So why do you?
Anyway. Happy holidays, I guess.
XOXO, Earnest
Unfortunately, I am sick once again so I’ve been absent for a while. I logged back in to address a really odd take I’ve seen circulating Twitter lately. I’m not going to link to any of the tweets because I’m not looking to dogpile, but they’re saying stuff like:
“Wholesome stories are fine but why are we in an era where wholesome queer content is seen as morally superior? There’s nothing gross about queer sexual desire or displaying that sexual desire[…] Ofc I’m aware that sexy/horny queer storytelling exists, I just find it interesting that these pieces of media are never the ones that ‘break out’ and become incredibly popular. Just stuff to think about!”
I chose this particular tweet because it outlined their viewpoint so succinctly. I don’t agree with it. This is a really weird, myopic take on queer media lately.
I assume this is in response to stuff like Heartstopper,Stephen Universe,The Owl House, and Love, Simon.Setting aside the fact that these were marketed toactual kids, they are by no means the most popular queer films and TV shows to come out in the last five years.
Examples of queer film that isn’t “wholesome?”
- Call Me by Your Name
- Pose
- Killing Eve
- Schitt’s Creek
- Happiest Season
- Euphoria
- The Power of the Dog
- Booksmart
- Orange is the New Black
- Gentleman Jack
- Portrait of a Lady on Fire
- The Favourite
- The L-Word: Generation Q
- The Magicians
- Sex Education (though this is debatable)
That’s off the top of the freaking head. I’m not even including all the very sexy media that includes queer characters, but not as leads, nor the TV shows that aren’t mega-popular (e.g. shows found on Netflix like Bonding,Trinkets,Russian Doll,I Am Not Okay with This,Young Royals, ect).
Anyway, my only point is:
Not every piece of queer media is for every queer person.
I think that’s a good thing!
Diversity isn’t just important for race, sexuality, ethnicity, religion, physical and mental health. It’s also important in things like class, region of the country/world, and (yes) age. I’ve got kids that are, in my opinion, too young to watch EuphoriaandSex Education, but too old for TheOwl House.Stuff like Heartstopper,Love, Simon, and The Half of It fills a very necessary gap.
Anyway, back to sleep for me.
Keep yourselves so safe for me. Always.
XOXO, Earnest
Worth mentioning, too, that Heartstopperis actually a very “sexy” show, within the context of a younger audience. It has a lot of passionate kissing between both the mlm and wlw characters, much of it overflowingwith sexual tension. My kids were twitterpated throughout!
Unfortunately, I am sick once again so I’ve been absent for a while. I logged back in to address a really odd take I’ve seen circulating Twitter lately. I’m not going to link to any of the tweets because I’m not looking to dogpile, but they’re saying stuff like:
“Wholesome stories are fine but why are we in an era where wholesome queer content is seen as morally superior? There’s nothing gross about queer sexual desire or displaying that sexual desire[…] Ofc I’m aware that sexy/horny queer storytelling exists, I just find it interesting that these pieces of media are never the ones that ‘break out’ and become incredibly popular. Just stuff to think about!”
I chose this particular tweet because it outlined their viewpoint so succinctly. I don’t agree with it. This is a really weird, myopic take on queer media lately.
I assume this is in response to stuff like Heartstopper,Stephen Universe,The Owl House, and Love, Simon.Setting aside the fact that these were marketed toactual kids, they are by no means the most popular queer films and TV shows to come out in the last five years.
Examples of queer film that isn’t “wholesome?”
- Call Me by Your Name
- Pose
- Killing Eve
- Schitt’s Creek
- Happiest Season
- Euphoria
- The Power of the Dog
- Booksmart
- Orange is the New Black
- Gentleman Jack
- Portrait of a Lady on Fire
- The Favourite
- The L-Word: Generation Q
- The Magicians
- Sex Education (though this is debatable)
That’s off the top of the freaking head. I’m not even including all the very sexy media that includes queer characters, but not as leads, nor the TV shows that aren’t mega-popular (e.g. shows found on Netflix like Bonding,Trinkets,Russian Doll,I Am Not Okay with This,Young Royals, ect).
Anyway, my only point is:
Not every piece of queer media is for every queer person.
I think that’s a good thing!
Diversity isn’t just important for race, sexuality, ethnicity, religion, physical and mental health. It’s also important in things like class, region of the country/world, and (yes) age. I’ve got kids that are, in my opinion, too young to watch EuphoriaandSex Education, but too old for TheOwl House.Stuff like Heartstopper,Love, Simon, and The Half of It fills a very necessary gap.
Anyway, back to sleep for me.
Keep yourselves so safe for me. Always.
XOXO, Earnest
The “Hogwarts Legacy” game is trending, as well as a scene in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of DumbledorewhereinAlbus finally confirms he was in love with a man.
Here is a really great YouTube video (also trending) which breaks down many kinds of bigotry inherent in the Harry Potterseries.Even at nearly two hours long, it can’t cover allof J.K. Rowling’s racism, ableism, sexism, homophobia, fatphobia, and classism. I recommend it as a good starting place.
Buying official Harry Potter merch supports Rowling.
Supporting J.K. Rowling is morally indefensible.
Take care of yourselves, and trans rights are human rights!
XOXO, Earnest
Reminder that cis people get “gender-affirming” procedures performed all the time! Most electrolysis and laser hair removal is performed on cis women, and it’s safe and legal to perform on teenagers. Most breast augmentation and butt/hip enhancement is performed on cis women. Cis women are the most common recipients of hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Cis men are the ones who receive most testosterone therapy, testicular prosthesis, jaw and chin implants (though this is on the rise in cis women, too), beard transplants, and implants designed to mimic muscle mass in biceps, calves, and abs.
Andsurgery on sexual organs? Yep, cis people get that, too.
Most of these procedures are performed to help the recipient feel more “feminine” or “masculine,” or to move them closer to a gendered beauty standard. Although they’re often left out of the discussion, intersex people receive many of these therapies and procedures as well. Just as with trans individuals, gender-affirmation is important to mental and physical health. Laws designed to limit access to medical care for trans folks affect us all.
But honestly?
Hurting trans folks is reason enough to oppose them.
Affirming your gender is your right.
You have no right to interfere with someone else’s medical care.
So, in case you were wondering:
TERFs aren’t welcome here. Fuck off.
