#rape tw

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also I have no patience lately because I have been dealing with escalating transphobia where I live and i also have been having a lot of flashbacks to the time I was raped by the cops for being trans so. not having a great time rn

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What Do Benzos Do, Exactly? What Are They Used For?

Benzodiazepines act as a central nervous system depressant. That has a multitude of different effects, and honestly, they’re a uniquely useful class of drug.

They can be used to treat muscle spasms, anxiety, and sleep disorders. They can keep a patient sedated both in the short term or the long term. Some of them can even stop seizures.

One of the benefits—and terrifying side effects—of benzos are their ability to keep the brain from forming memories. This makes them extremely useful for procedural sedation, for people like me who may need things like dental surgery but want to be blissfully memory-free of the process. However, this leads to another use of benzos as, well, date-rape drugs.

Want to learn more? Read on, fair human!

(trigger warning: pharmacology of date rape drugs mentioned. No images or descriptions of sexual assault occur. One bit about dentistry and consent.)

Benzos: An Abbreviated List

Because there are an awful lot of these drugs on the market, I’m going to keep it relatively short, and list only the most common benzodiazepines available. Different meds are used for different things and come in different forms, so I’ll list that too!

Oh, and as for abbreviations: PO = oral (usually a pill, but sometimes a liquid suspension for kids); IM = intramuscular (a shot in the arm, leg or buttock), IN = Intranasal (can be administered up the nose), IV = intravenous.  Anxiolysis means “breaking up anxiety”, or reducing it.

diazepam (Valium): PO / IV. Used for muscle relaxation, stopping active seizures, anxiolysis,  as a sleep aid (short term). Limited use for sedating violent patients because an IV must be in place. In babies, diazepam can also be given per rectum (up the butt) to stop seizures.

lorazepam (Ativan): PO / IV / IM. Long acting. Used for stopping active seizures, anxiolysis, sedation of violent patients. Falling out of favor for seizure and chemical restraint because of its long-lasting effects (up to 8 hours).

midazolam (Versed): PO / IV / IM / IN. Very powerful sedative effects. Used for stopping seizures, sedation of violent patients, and sedation in the ICU / OR. This medication is very commonly used in ICUs because of this, and is the first-line choice for stopping seizures in patients without IVs in place.

alprazolam (Xanax): PO only. Primarily used for anxioslysis. Highly addictive.

triazolam (Halcion): PO only. Primarily used for procedural sedation and anxiolysis.

clonazepam (KlonidineKlonopinthanks anon!): PO only. Primarily used for anxiolysis and as a newer, less-addictive alternative to alprazolam.

I will say this: as a provider who works in the emergency and intensive/critical care setting, if I had to only ever have one benzo on hand, I would take midazolam and never look back.

What Does It Feel Like To Be On A Benzo?

Characters under the effects of benzodiazepines may feel drowsy, dizzy, “dopey”, “loopy”, like their limbs are very heavy, like their eyelids are heavy. They may also feel giddy. Benzos suppress inhibitions, so people may be an interesting combination of silly and drowsy.

Under a strong enough dose, benzos can cause characters to fall asleep.

Memories of time while on a benzo, particularly one with strong amnestic effects like triazolam or midazolam, can be blurry. Characters may remember one or two key events during a period of sedation, or they may simply not remember it at all.

I had triazolam three times for dental procedures. The first time I didn’t remember anything, the second time I remembered stressful events (but I don’t remember feeling stressed), and the third time I remembered nothing again.

However, the first time I was apparently still extremely anxious, to the point of crying and asking for my wife. (I’m an EXTREMELY nervous dental patient. I had my trust massively violated by a dentist as a kid, by which I mean, if you ask a kid if it’s okay to keep drilling, and she says NO, you fucking stop, you piece of shit, balloon gloves don’t replace consent.)

Ahem. Sorry. 


Are There Side Effects?

There can be. Benzodiazepines often cause dizziness, drowsiness, foggy thinking, weakness, an unsteady gait (stumbly walk).

It’s more rare, but they can cause disorientation, depression, sleep disturbances, and memory impairment.

When a character has a paradoxical reaction, even though they’ve been given a stimulant, they may become moreexcited, agitated, and aggressive.

Also, any benzo given in high enough doses can be enough to trigger respiratory depression or even apnea (lack of spontaneous breathing).

All of these side effects are potentiated (made stronger and more likely) when benzos are taken while the person has also been drinking alcohol.

Are Benzos Addictive?

They can be. Those who take them every day can become physically dependent on them, dependent those who stop taking them suddenly can have seizures, nausea, vomiting, body aches, anxiety, double vision, profuse sweating, and more. This can happen with a sudden discontinuation or even a dose reduction.

Severe symptoms can include seizures, delirium, psychosis, and hallucinations. Seizures can be fatal if not treated.

Why Do Benzos Stop Seizures?

GABA receptors, the same receptors that benzodiazepines hit, are CNS depressants. That means they can reduce overall activity, such as the uncontrolled activity of a seizure.

However, the longer a seizure goes on, the more GABA receptors are inactivated, which is  why patients who’ve been seizing for >10 minutes may not respond to benzos, and may need another class of drug. This condition of prolonged seizure activity, by the way, is called status epilepticus.


You Mentioned Date Rape Drugs?

Yes.

This is the downside of a class of drugs like benzos, that have both sedation, inhibition lowering, and amnestic effects. Some asshole is going to use it incorrectly. Some asshole is going to abuse it.

And that is absolutely awful. The way our society, or at least American society, handles sexual assault is atrocious, much less when it comes to those involving alcohol and drugs, whether the victim willingly ingested them or not.

That kind of abuse of something designed to be therapeutic gets me really steamed.

However, benzos help millions of people worldwide each year. Without them the odds of stopping ongoing seizures would be very slim. And millions of people have anxiety that is eased with a low dose of benzodiazepine. Two of them are in my family.

And even if we got rid of all the benzos in all the world…. assholes would find a way.

Assholesalways find a way.

Was this post helpful to you? Drop a comment or share it around!

And thanks for reading :)

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

Disclaimer

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iammyfather:imamisfittoy:sardonicblisters:yayfeminism:A New Hampshire Republican State Repreiammyfather:imamisfittoy:sardonicblisters:yayfeminism:A New Hampshire Republican State Repreiammyfather:imamisfittoy:sardonicblisters:yayfeminism:A New Hampshire Republican State Repre

iammyfather:

imamisfittoy:

sardonicblisters:

yayfeminism:

A New Hampshire Republican State Representative anonymously created the “Red Pill” subreddit.

Wow.

these aren’t just bullshitter dweebs in their mom’s basements trolling the internet, these are men who formulate the way we implement laws and who govern the way we live our lives.

^^^ Hello, yes, everyone needs to see this. It’s not always a bunch of nobodies trolling around on 4chan. It’s, doctors, lawyers, judges, businessmen, bankers, law enforcement, etc. People who have pulls on society. They literally don’t see other groups besides themselves as human or equal

No matter how much proof comes out people will refuse to believe.  How many pictures each week do you see of police officers at Klan meetings yet still people claiming it is a fluke.


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girlsmoonsandstars:

moonslady:

And there it is again. You really can’t tell me shit about males’ right to be in female prisons because cis men are so violent and we’re just harmless women, we don’t want to be misgendered when this keeps happening over and over again, only this time two females ended up becoming pregnant. Not to mention it’s illegal to have sex in prison, but I’m not holding my breath to see if any consequences actually come from this.

He IMPREGNATED two women. How many did he rape?

ukrfeminism:

Girls under 16 were the victims in nearly a quarter of rape cases, according to Home Office data seen by The Independent.

The data shows that in around 60,000 of the 271,000 rapes recorded by police in the five years up to last spring, the victims were young girls. 

Roughly 26,200 of these girls – nearly one in 10 – were under 13 years old, according to the data, which was requested by the Liberal Democrats.

Charities said that the figures for England and Wales were “unacceptable” and that the true toll was likely to be higher due to the under-reporting of this crime.

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spikestartrek:

spikestartrek:

TW discussions of rape and sa

There are too many people in the trek fandom who are dismissive about rape and sexual assault, especially when it comes to sexual assault of the male characters.

Like people will respond to Riker’s canonical rape on Malcor III with something about how many girls he slept with. He was coerced into having sex with the nurse so that he could escape and get back to the enterprise and there are people who act like he was just being a player or some shit. I’ve even seen people try to excuse how dismissive they are about it by saying shit like “we don’t know that he actually slept with her because he told her that aliens have sex differently so he could have done anything” As if that changes anything. You really think that it’s okay that Riker would have to come up with some fake version of sex and do it with her just to get her to not call security on him?!

I’m bringing this up now because I just read a Troiker fic where Riker was coerced into sleeping with some alien in order to establish a peace treaty and I’m pissed because pretty much everyone in the comments had the same reaction they do to his rape on Malcor III. The fic itself even framed Riker as the villain, Deanna got mad at him for “cheating” even though they weren’t together in the story and Will was just fucking raped.

Had it been Deanna in Will’s position in that fic people in the comments would have been calling Will an asshole for being mad at Deanna. Actually I don’t even think Will would have gotten mad at Deanna. I think it would have become a hurt comfort fic where Will helps Deanna deal with what just happened.

But since it was Will the story was about how Will “wasn’t faithful”, despite him and Deanna not being in an actual relationship with each other, and how Will had to earn back Deanna’s trust and forgiveness.

It’s fucking bullshit!

It’s not just an issue with Riker either.

There are countless fanfics where male characters, typically the “playboy” type characters, are raped or assaulted but it’s brushed under the rug or played off as them just being able to sleep with anyone.

And there are plenty of less direct occurrences in canon too, that are often dismissed by fans and the show writers. But 9 times out of 10 had it been one of the women in the same situation it would have been addressed in the show or at least addressed in fandom at some point.

fan1875: arnubis86: She was the teachers slut for the week and lunch break had just started All the

fan1875:

arnubis86:

She was the teachers slut for the week and lunch break had just started

All the guys love fucking the schools valedictorian


Post link
 A wall fresco of Paris abducting Helen by force, in a villa in Venice (Italy, mid-1700s). Paris was

A wall fresco of Paris abducting Helen by force, in a villa in Venice (Italy, mid-1700s).

Paris was asked to judge a beauty contest between Hera, Aphrodite and Athena.  Each tried to bribe him, and he chose Aphrodite, because she promised him the most beautiful woman in the world – Helen of Sparta.

Helen was married to King Menelaus of Sparta, which Aphrodite hadn’t actually told Paris.  He broke into Menelaus’ house to steal her from him.  In some accounts, she fell in love with him and went willingly; in others, she was taken by force.

Helen was famous for her beauty, and Odysseus advised her father Tyndareus to make all her suitors promise to defend her marriage to the man he chose for her.  Therefore, when Paris abducted Helen, Menelaus was able to call them to help him get her back.  This started the Trojan War.


Post link

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26748730/chapters/66654547

Prompt: Now Where Did That Come From?, Wound Reveal, Ignoring an Injury, Internal Bleeding

Fandom/OC: Original Work

TW: swearing, rape, death mention, cult mention, self harm

@whumptober2020

shakspeare:

whilst everyone’s getting pumped for season 5, I think we need to remember a couple of things

  • don’t forget lady stoneheart. don’t forget that the show runners actively decided to cut one of the most powerful character arcs of the book and force her, instead, into the nagging mother stereotype
  • don’t forget arianne martell. don’t forget that it looks like the show runners actively decided to cut a powerful, feminine, kick ass woman of colour, who was next in the line of succession
  • don’t forget that her storyline was all about liberating myrcella and crowning her under dornish law, where women have the same inheritance rights as men, and aren’t passed over in favour of their younger male siblings. don’t forget that her entire storyline focused on females empowering other females.
  • don’t forget that it looks like they’re giving that same storyline to her younger male sibling, who they have gone out of their way to age up so he fits the role, and the story will now probably be “dashing young prince-to-be kidnaps damsel in distress”
  • don’t forget the jamie/cersei rape scene. don’t forget that the show runners actively made the decision to change the story and make that scene include rape.
  • don’t forget that mance rayder had a wife called dalla, and that she had a sister called val and that they were both important leading characters in jon’s story. don’t forget that the show runners actively made the decision to cut them out.
  • don’t forget the totally unnecessary changes to bran’s storyline. don’t forget the fact that rape and abuse just became part of the background set for most of those scenes. don’t forget that the show runners were on set, actively deciding that those scenes needed a little more male on female violence in the background.
  • don’t forget that natalia tena wanted osha to have a pubic wig because when the fuck would a wildling women shave her vagina and the show runners actively told her that wasn’t allowed.
  • don’t forget that they created a female character just to serve as a frequently nude prostitute, and that when the actress, esme bianco, refused to do any more nude scenes, the show runners fired her
  • don’t forget that she was then killed off in the most sexually violent, brutal, and demeaning way possible
  • don’t forget chataya and alayaya, a mother and daughter who were strong, sexual, and unashamedly so, and ran their own brothel. don’t forget that the show runners cut them out, too. don’t forget that the show runners have no problem with sex and prostitution so long as it’s on a man’s terms, and as soon as women are making the decisions, they don’t like it.
  • don’t forget that this show we love and watch and support perpetually goes out of its way to instigate violence against women, to take away their agency, their character, their rights, and their abilities. don’t forget that the show runners consciously make the decisions to demean women and use them as a way to dress the set. don’t forget that they take stories from women and give them to the men. don’t forget that they do not support and respect women the way we support and respect their show.

Fimir

“Fimir Warrior” © Games Workshop.

[Commissioned by @alquitranofmystara​. If you check my page for supporting the Codex, you may notice one new addition that hasn’t been there before. “I am not interested in monsters from Warhammer”. I have done some Warhammer monsters before, namely a handful of skaven, but have declined conversions of things like Space Marines and Warhammer’s Orks. I figured that I was okay covering ideas that are more obscure bits of the lore. Until the fimir.

I love the look of the fimir, kind of a Muppet Viking. My friend growing up had a copy of Hero Quest, which had a few fimirs in it, so we used those as miniatures for all sorts of tough humanoids. But when I was doing the research for this entry, I found that they have a number of traits that fall into my list of Least Favorite Monster Tropes

  • They have a strong biologically determinate caste system, despite being chaotic (literally serving Chaos in WHF)
  • They have an uneven sex ratio and balance of power between the sexes
  • They can only reproduce via raping humans.

That last part has been quietly ignored in more recent editions of Warhammer Fantasy, as well it should be. But it continues to stress for me how grim and pessimistic and un-fun all of the Warhammer flavor text I’ve encountered is. So this is my last Warhammer monster. If you’re interested in a very deep dive into the fimir’s history, including why they were created, why they went ignored for a decade or two, and what Alan Lee piece inspired their look, check out this article.  My version strips out the biologically determinate caste system and replaces the rape with a different, less tasteless, form of reproduction.]

Fimir
CR 3 CE Monstrous Humanoid
This humanoid creature stands a head taller than a man. It has a beaked snout with a pair of curved tusks in the lower jaw, over which glares a single baleful eye. It is clad in mail and carries a stout axe. The creature’s tail ends in a lump of bone.

Fimirs are marsh-dwelling raiders whose numbers are bolstered by sinister magic. They were once fey creatures, but in dealing with demons they lost their connection to the First World. Fimir are sexless and can only reproduce by sculpting a new fimir body out of mud, reeds and bone, and then pouring life into it with the still beating heart taken from a humanoid sacrifice. As such, fimir need to raid other peoples on a regular basis in order to grow or maintain their numbers, taking captives for this awful ritual.

Fimirs prefer to fight from a position of strength, and usually travel in numbers. Their skin is amphibian like, smooth and moist, and dries painfully when exposed to direct sunlight. In order to minimize exposure, their formations usually fight from within a bank of magically conjured fog. The single eye of a fimir can see through this fog with ease, putting enemies at a disadvantage. Fimir usually wear armor and carry weapons into combat—axes, morningstars and longspears are all favored armaments. Even when unarmed, a fimir packs quite a punch in its club-like tail. Most fimirs have a solid mass of bone (dealing bludgeoning damage), but a few have bladed tails (slashing damage) or bony spikes (piercing damage) instead.

Fimir settlements are focused around a central stone stronghold, where the clan gathers to feast and boast, and several smaller outbuildings used as workshops or storage. Slaves do most of the menial tasks, either captives who have not yet been sacrificed or fimir who have fallen into slavery due to disgrace and failure. These drudges have their tails docked to deprive them of natural weaponry, and are sometimes used as fodder in warfare. Fimir advance by class level, with witch and barbarian being popular choices. Divine spellcasters among the fimir include sinister death druids and clerics of various demon lords.

Most fimir use male pronouns, but a few, particularly witches, take on feminine pronouns. Regardless of gender, fimir decorate their bodies with jewelry and tattoos.

Fimir                       CR 3
XP 800
CE Medium monstrous humanoid
Init+1;Sensesdarkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, mistsight, Perception +8
Defense
AC18, touch 11, flat-footed 17 (+1 Dex, +6 armor, +1 natural)
hp32 (5d10+5)
Fort+2,Ref+5,Will+4; +4 vs. disease, paralysis, poison, sleep, stunning
Defensive Abilities born of earth; Weaknesssun sickness
Offense
Speed20 ft. (30 ft. unarmored)
Meleebattleaxe +8 (1d8+3/x3), tail slap +6 (1d8+1) or tail slap +8 (1d8+4)
Rangedjavelin +6 (1d6+3)
Spell-like Abilities CL 3rd, concentration +4
3/day—obscuring mist
Statistics
Str16,Dex13,Con12,Int10,Wis10,Cha13
Base Atk +5;CMB+9 (+11 bull rush); CMD20 (22 vs. bull rush)
FeatsImproved Bull Rush, Multiattack (B), Power Attack, Skill Focus (Stealth)
SkillsPerception +8, Stealth +9, Survival +8, Swim +7
LanguagesAklo
SQburly,swamp stride
Ecology
Environmentcold and temperate marshes
Organizationsolitary, pair, gang (3-8), raiding party (9-24 plus 0-1 3rd level witch or barbarian per 10 individuals) or clan (40-400 plus 1 3rd level witch and 1 3rd level barbarian per 10 individuals, plus 1 6th – 8th level witch or barbarian)
Treasurestandard (breastplate, battleaxe, five javelins, other treasure)
Special Abilities
Born of Earth (Ex) Because of their unusual, quasi-natural physiologies, a fimir gains a +4 racial bonus on all saves against disease, paralysis, poison, sleep and stunning effects.
Burly (Ex) A fimir gains a +1 racial bonus to its CMB and CMD.
Swamp Stride (Ex) A fimir can ignore difficult terrain from mud, vegetation, shallow water and other natural features of marshy environments.
Sun Sickness (Ex) A fimir is sickened in an area of natural sunlight.
Tail Slap (Ex) A fimir’s tail slap is a primary natural weapon.

https://policy.bristoluniversitypress.co.uk/the-right-amount-of-panic?utm_source=listserv&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=elimination-VAW-day-listserv-Nov-2021

“Have you ever thought about how much energy goes into avoiding sexual violence? The work that goes into feeling safe goes largely unnoticed by the women doing it and by the wider world, and yet women and girls are the first to be blamed the inevitable times when it fails.

We need to change the story on rape prevention and ‘well-meaning’ safety advice, because this makes it harder for women and girls to speak out, and hides the amount of work they are already doing trying to decipher ‘the right amount of panic’. With real-life accounts of women’s experiences, and based on the author’s original research on the impact of sexual harassment in public, this book challenges victim-blaming and highlights the need to show women as capable, powerful and skilful in their everyday resistance to harassment and sexual violence.”

Add EPUB to basket, then add promo code WR21 for free download

(Limited time only - ends 17 December!)

imablackpantherchild:

What happen to HIPPA

feministingforchange:

shadowkat678:

Forewarning. This will probably get rambly. Expect it. I’m tired as hell and I got shit I want to say. It might not be worded as poetically as you assholes want, but at this point I’m done caring.

Anyway.

You know. I love how exclusionists automatically assume just because, yeah, aspecs actually HAVE gone through some shit and we’ve been harmed for being associated with the queer community, that we’re trying to push the idea that it’s been to the same extent. Yeah. Most of the backlash against us from straight people has come from the thought that “not being het” = “gay”. You’re right there.

And we know. What we go through is not the same extent. A lot of times (though there are things, and I’ll get to that) it’s not just because we’re aspec. We’ve said that.

That. Doesn’t. Mean. Bigots. Think. We’re. Any. Less. Queer.

Hear me out here before you start squawking. And for the love of all that’s good left in the world, don’t start up with the slur thing. There’s a dozen other posts on that. You don’t want to be called it? Great. My bi ass will. Cause we fought for that shitty word when there wasn’t anything to call ourselves, and you’ll give it back to those bigots after you pry it from my cold, dead, fingers.

Anyway. There’s this thing that’s called “generalized prejudice”. AKA, the notion that bigotry can be generalized across similar groups. Anything with any suffix of sexual besides hetero is automatically Wrong and Gay and Unnatural and Dangerous. You’re not straight? You’re not normal.

Parents who would send their gay, bi, pan, and trans kids send their ace kids to conversation therapy as well. Corrective rape is a BIG thing.  That it does happen shows that there’s something in the mindset. Due to this, aspecs are, in fact, harmed and submitted to violence.

I know for myself I certainly didn’t get the best reception when I told my family. Luckily it wasn’t violent for me, but you know that thing you guys do with the “I’m sure Christians love you”.

Yeah. No. Because, and I quote here “God made man for women, and expected them to be with each other. And in marriage be open to each other’s needs. If you can’t give that to someone you shouldn’t marry. Because that’d be a sin.”

(First off, asexuality doesn’t mean you can’t have sex, even though I personally don’t want to have it. It’s just a lack of attraction (not libido. That’s something else.) Second of all, thanks for letting me know not to tell you about the bi thing. Don’t worry. Not opening up about this shit again.)

And there are others who’ve gotten worse. You’re right. Mine wasn’t as bad as a lot of you get, but can we all just agree it really hurts and sucks to be told you’re shit for your sexuality? Can we all agree that attitudes like this tend to cause bigger, more violent problems? Especially as more people become aware of it being a thing? That this has been a big issue and fucked up a lot of people?

“You weren’t there like we were in the start. You don’t deserve to be here after all the shit we went through. It’s because they think you’re gay, like you said! It’s homophobia, not aphobia!”

First of all we were here. We just weren’t under our own name, because we didn’t have it. Pansexuals were here as well, and so were nonbianary people. Most of us, knowing we weren’t straight but only having a select number of things to align ourselves with, dispersed under other groups. Lots of us ended up under the bisexual umbrella. Hell. A lot of us still do before we realize this is a thing.

“Well, I don’t like the opposite gender. So maybe I’m gay?”

“Okay, I don’t seem interested in any, but that would mean…maybe I’m interested in others equally? Am I bisexual or pan?”

Like. Shit. Just the sheer amount of it happening today where the aspec identities ARE a thing that’s known should give a hint of how common it would be earlier when it WASN’T known. Plus, we know we were around, because we were described. Even by some prominent leaders in the community.

This covers a few.

A few overall examples. From the article for those who don’t want to wade through it:

“The earliest use of the word ‘asexual’ which I have been able to find (up to now), is in a 1896 pamphlet called “Sappho und Sokrates” by Magnus Hirschfeld, an influential German sexologist and activist for LGBT emancipation.”


“Ralph Werther – Jennie June was an outspoken transgender person who wrote extensively about his life and the New York LGBT scene at the turn of the century. He uses the word ‘anaphrodite‘ to describe people who are “not suffused with adoration for any type of human” and who “shudder violently at the very thought of any kind of association grounded on sex differences”


“Researchers like Magnus Hirschfeld and Alfred Kinsey did notice and describe asexuality. It is rather remarkable that some of the most well-known sexologists make mention of asexuality, and yet we have been woefully understudied over the course of the last 150 years.”


“We are present in the works of LGBT pioneers like Magnus Hirschfeld and Ralph Werther – Jennie June (see above). It’s worth investigating how we fit into their circles: turn-of-the-century Berlin and New York. Then there are phenomena like the Boston marriages – relationships of which the main features are not just lesbian, but also asexual – and the description of asexuality as a subcategory of homosexuality in the 1978 study ‘Homosexualities’.”

We were there then. At the start. Right from the beginning. All of us who knew we weren’t straight, but didn’t have a name. Maybe we’d label ourselves as gay. Or bi. Or trans. But we were there, even if we weren’t properly labeled. We fought too. We fought alongside you and died alongside you, but we didn’t have a group to call our own. We were scattered and unseen. And because of this we don’t know a lot of our history, or figures in the movement who could be asexual. We may never know beyond speculation. But I assure you we were there.

Since then our community keeps growing. Why? If y'all really knew your history you’d know why, and you’d know just how much this community has evolved just in the past TEN years. Even less. History isn’t static. Growth happens. Change happens. It is happening. That’s not a bad thing.

Anyway, why?

Because these groups that were looked over or lumped into others are finding each other when before it wasn’t really possible like it is today, with the internet helping us connect. Because even if things aren’t as bad, there’s issues and as a community we’re striving towards equality and getting rid of violence towards non straight sexualities. This community was founded for resistance. For sanctuary. For solidarity against violence that we faced every day.

And this opening up has grown the community and our movement. It’s provided more voices to speak and more information to spread. We’ve had gatekeeping throughout our history, and every time it’s proved detrimental. To all of us. Gatekeeping in our community was why and is why many trans activists have taken longer to be recognized. Why bisexuals are still EXTREMELY underrepresented in this movement’s history.

Anyway, that article? There’s another for the 21st century. And a few more quotes to make my point, because anyone who knows me can tell you how much I love my quotes. Examples make it a lot easier to get my thoughts together. Very useful…

You say we should get our own community? We have. It still gets invaded, and we haven’t even had it long. Again. We hadn’t been able to.

“The time the first asexual communities appeared was around the start of this century. As the very beginning, you could take the article called “My Life as a Human Amoeba” by Zoe O’Reilly, which was published in 1997. Over the years, the comment section of that article filled with comments of other asexuals, telling their life stories and connection with eachother over their shared asexual experiences for – as far as we know – the very first time.2 From that article and its comment section, we have an extraordinary development into a self-assured, worldwide community that’s present on multiple online platforms as well as offline meeting groups. We are hosting conferences, marching in pride parades and we have successfully lobbied for the depathologization of asexuality in the DSM, one of the leading psychiatric manuals.3 

The way we think and talk about asexuality has changed as well. Our identity and the concepts that come with it didn’t plop out of thin air. We come from a place where we had little to no concepts or words to describe our experiences. Aces have done some large-scale worthsmithing and we have come up with new words so we can name our experiences. On top of that we have created a lively discourse to make sense of ourselves and our experiences.4″ 

I do have to let out a chuckle at that last sentence. 

“Oh, but what if they’re heterosexual aros or heteroromantic aces??? I don’t want our oppressors in this community!”

Tough shit. For many of us we’re already sharing a community with our oppressors.

Black women put up with all kinds of shit from white women. Especially when it came to queer feminists.

Transgender have to share a space with us cis people when, again, they got walked repeatedly over.

(TERFs, I’m not dealing with your shit today. Also, has anyone else noticed how many ace exclusionists are TERFs, and how many nonTERF exclusionists get uncomfortable when this gets pointed out? Yeah. I have too. And it’s bullshit.)

I, a woman, have to share a space with dudes. I, disabled, have to share a space with the abled who I’ve lived quite a bit of my life being looked down on from.

Anyone remember that “A stands for Ally” fiasco? I do. People were wanting straight allies over us. The excuse?            

“Well, you see, that’s ACTUALLY there for closeted individuals to be in the community without outing themselves. ╮(╯▽╰)╭”

Sure. Okay. Yeah. Here’s where I found that funny. Even if the A didn’t stand for Ally, they could still say they’re allies and, should they be going to pride or something, say they’re supporting a friend. Or, if it’s so delicate, not say anything to anyone if they feel unsafe. Because it’s likely a family that’s bigoted towards the community would hate them giving their support as well.

“Well…they’re questioning! ╮(╯▽╰)╭”

Great. The Q is for questioning and queer.

“They’re taking our resources! (*´>д

What resources are in such limited supplies that you have to worry about this shit???????

Asexuals aren’t harming you. The only reason they’re “in the spotlight” is because you stir up all this shit and put them there.

But here’s some aces being homophobic and gross and they’re all horrible people who somehow support pedophilia!

Here’s links to MORE being cringy and acting like they’re better and pure and shit!

IF WE LET THEM IN EVERYONE WHO’S ~~QUIRKY~~ WILL WANT IN TOO! KINKS AND FURRIES AND PEDOPHILES!!!! (Д´)

What. Even. The fuck. And yes. I heard this. More than once.

Addressing this in chunks:

Okay. Don’t know where that pedophile thing comes from. At all. I don’t understand it, and I kinda am scared to. I might lose my last shred of faith in humanity. I THINK, since I’ve heard this much at least, it has something to do with that:

“We can’t talk to kids about asexuality because then we’d have to talk to them about SEX. With the others we can just talk about the romantic aspect, but oh my goodness. The kids will be so messed up!”

Am I the only one seeing the irony in this? First off. A lot of kids can feel sexual attraction by the age of eight. Most by the age of ten to eleven. I’m twenty and I’m still getting that “well, maybe you’re a late bloomer” shit. I’m TWENTY. Almost TWENTY-ONE. Shit. If I realized this wasn’t normal sooner…well. That would have been really nice.

Homophobic: Most of what I see here are young teens and preteens screwing up their wording and getting attacked. Or relying on misinformation, because they’re young. But really. Many of you are grown adults. Stop attacking kids who clearly misspoke or are ignorant. Shit. Most of us have been there. Getting death threats in your ask doesn’t help.

And not everyone is nice. Yeah. There’s gonna be some shitty ace people. Just like there’s transphobic community members. And biphobic. And so on and so on and so on. Because sucky people exist everywhere. What a concept. 

And no. That’s not comparable to that “gay people can be heterophobic” shit. Please. Stop. Aces are not straight. Heterophobia does not exist. And straight pride month should not be a thing. Did I get that covered? Great. 

Also, the asexual community has a high percentage of autistics, myself included. You know what one common thing is with autistics? We tend to have trouble getting across our meanings. If you all could just ask “Hey, is this what you really meant by this? If so that’s kinda messed up. If not, can you explain?” that’d take out a whole lotta drama. Cause then we can go “Actually, no. I meant X. Let me make that more clear. Thanks for pointing that out to me!”

So much easier. So. So much easier.

Most of the other offensive shit seems to stem from tweens in their cringe phase (really. Most of us were there. Stop sending hate mail to ignorant middle schoolers), parody blogs, or, *gasp*, other exclusionists making fake blogs to purposefully stir up trouble. Geez. The sheer amount of those blogs. Find better things to do, damn it.

Then again. These are the same people who flood the Ace tag with dozens of hate posts about how shitty we are and how the community doesn’t want us, and do that:

“Boo hoo. Aren’t I so discriminatory? We get killed, bitch. Stop you’re whining. SOME of us have more to worry about then claiming to get bullied on Tumblr. Stop being a snowflake.”

It really shouldn’t be that surprising at this point. And yes, that too is something that’s almost word for word of another post. Because the discourse is shitty.

Okay. You see, kinks aren’t a sexuality. Pedophilia isn’t a sexuality and phedos actively pray on children and children can’t give consent, so they’re fucked up. Furries…yeah. Why? What logic would lead you to believe letting in asexuals is a gateway for furries?

Please. Stop. I’m tired. This month is supposed to be about celebrating our history and the people who fought to bring us where we are. Just for one month can we stop being petty assholes to each other? Just one month? I mean. I’d LOVE to say forever, but I realize that’s just not realistic.

A few last notes to cover my ass and make my thoughts clear about the normal shit storms that usually follow these kinds of posts.

First off. If one more person starts whining about “having their identity” used as a tactic by inclusionists, I’m gonna lose it. It’s not a cheap tactic. Inclusionists come from all backgrounds you assholes.

I’m not harboring some inner biphobia for connecting events from one part of my identity to another. The trans women inclusionist isn’t transphobic for talking about it. The lesbian inclusionist isn’t a “traitor” for pointing out how ridiculous you’re being. Stop being assholes. It’s not just your identity. It’s the identity of people on both sides and you need to stop trying to shit on people. Yeah, I spoke about more than just bisexual. Because I’m not the only one saying this. In fact, most of those points I got from others. Who were trans, and pan, and lesbians. I got followers who talk about it. It’s not just me talking here and they need to be respected for the points they’ve made as well.

Two. If I hear anyone talking about that ridiculous “corrective rape is a lesbian term” you’re going to get a real history lesson on its origins. Because you’re 100% wrong and I’m tired of uninformed bullshit. 

I’m tired of this shitty discourse. Aspecs are not hurting you. Aspecs are not hurting you. Aspecs are not hurting you. Inclusion does not harm the community. Inclusion does give resources to kids who could be in harmful situations. 

For one month. Just take a break from being hateful assholes. One month. Just…just one freaking month. 

Anyway. Happy pride.

To my lesbians. Your flag looks great. Sorry Tumblr staff forgot you guys. There also isn’t much on Google. Tried to find some variety. :( 

To my gay bros. Remember the meaning your colors represent. 

To all you pans. Keep being punny, and spread the love. You’re all great.

To my trans friends. Don’t let the TERFs get you down. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. You are not predators. You are not dangerous. You are fully yourself.

To my bi peeps. We’re amazing. You’re not “half straight” or “Half gay”. Doesn’t matter if you’re in a same or opposite sex relationship. You’re still full on bi. Don’t take shit.

To my aces. You’re not straight. You’re not broken. You’re not less. You are always welcome. Exclusionists on Tumblr do not represent the wider belief. 

To my aros, I’m sorry people forget about you so much. And remember that there’s many different types of love. You’re not gross for not feeling romantic love. You’re not cold. You’re not predatory for those of you wanting sexual relationships without romance. 

For those who are both aro and ace, you’re not devoid of emotion. You’re not subhuman. You’re individuals and love can be expressed in so many ways. If you’re in the grey area, that’s fine too. 

I love all of you. I couldn’t really find much for nonbianary and genderfluid, but you all rock as well. 

We are a community, and we need to hold each other up if we want to continue moving forward. Division hurts us all. 

Also, for my friends who are also black, muslim, disabled, female, Native American, Hispanic and in other groups that are struggling with additional fear this year with all the shit going on. Keep your head up. Keep fighting.

Holy shit @shadowkat678​, I officially dub this the most awesome and prideful pride 2017 post I’ve seen yet!! What an amazing and well written journey, thank you so much.

Everyone, please signal boost this far and wide!!

I just wanna add that as I was reading this I was literally chatting with OP and sending them my thoughts and opinions about nearly each paragraph. It was a serious emotional journey because I can identify with almost all of it. However, I don’t have it in me to repeat all those thoughts and I don’t think you all wanna read it anyway bc this is a long enough post as it is.

But as a phd student and criminologist (& cis, panromantic, demisexual), I would like to just provide a short-ish quote that explains fairly well how “generalized prejudice” works, and does in fact lead to aphobia:

Our findings are in keeping with Herek’s (2010) “differences as deficits” model of sexual orientation, where sexual minorities deviating from the norm are considered substandard and deserving of negativity by the majority. This model is gradually becoming less applicable to homosexuals and bisexuals with changes in societal norms (Herek, 2010), consistent with our findings that homosexuals (and in some cases bisexuals) were viewed as equally or more human than the heterosexual ingroup. However, we posit that asexuals fit well within the “differences as deficits” framework. Asexuals are the sexual minority that is most clearly considered “deficient” by heterosexuals. In keeping with this interpretation, themes relevant to maintaining the status quo and group dominance (RWA and SDO, respectively) proved consistently important in predicting antiasexual attitudes, whereas concerns with positive ingroup identity and religious fundamentalism were less uniquely important.

Although antiasexual bias is a clear component of sexual minority prejudice, it is also unique in that it was repeatedly stronger than bias toward other sexual minorities. Most disturbingly, asexuals are viewed as less human, especially lacking in terms of human nature. This confirms that sexual desire is considered a key component of human nature, and those lacking it are viewed as relatively deficient, less human, and disliked. It appears that asexuals do not “fit” the typical definition of human and as such are viewed as less human or even nonhuman, rendering them an extreme sexual orientation outgroup and very strong targets of bias. Future research can address the mechanisms underlying this tendency. [emphasis mine]

And while this study definitely has its problems (e.g., it compares asexuality & sapiosexuality and defines asexuality wrong, which i argue is more evidence of anti-ace bias bc society and those studying us can’t even get a handle on “what” we are…) it’s still important bc it shows us that there is in FACT a systematically enforced anti-ace bias. Bc if it wasn’t systemic it wouldn’t be an identifiable & measurable social pattern!!!

Plus, ppl willing to discriminate is literally a large part of how discrimination and oppression work. When people literally say how and why they would hypothetically discriminate against a whole category of “different” people, you need to take that clearly stated BIGOTRY seriously and stop talking down to & over us, and telling us to just shut up about it.

Bc this is REAL and we NEVER will.

#BoostAceVoices #BoostAroVoices

dont-discourse-so-close:

rivalhues:

feministingforchange:

feministingforchange:

layered-like-an-onion:

feministingforchange:

addictofthefandom:

feministingforchange:

Aphobes:

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Also Aphobes:

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this stuff is harrasment/ bullying, if you do this you are breaking the law in quiet a few countries and breaking tumblr rules of service, not only is it uncalled for and disgusting you are commiting a crime/breaking terms and conditions

if you see ANYONE (gay,straight,trans cis,black,white doesn’t matter) telling ANYONE to go die report it Immediately because it is crossing a line

^^^^^^^

This shit is absolutely disgusting. What sorry excuses of human beings willingly go out of their way to harass people because of their sexuality…….oh wait

And it’s still not over either. Check out some of this new and truly disgusting aphobic bullshit:

Apparently, being against telling ANYONE to go die or kill themselves is being pro-terf… (ughhhhh!!! i’m also against the death penalty, does that make me a super terf then?!?! like honestly, go read a book)

Oh and this:

So, hearing about the corrective rape experiences of aces is “annoying” bc “aces aren’t lgbt” according to the above aphobe, and so we all just need to shut up about it. JOY

Maybe the above is not a death threat or anything like that, but dehumanization like this is the exact type of shit that rationalizes and reinforces all this aphobic violence.

 And of course, here’s more aphobic hell (including racism & more death/suicide baiting):

What “exactly” is it that we have supposedly collectively done to deserve this kind of seething, violent hate?!?!?!???? Read those tags on the last one, it’s the things of nightmares!!

But yeah, no, of course, 

I mean, it’s not as if wishing to deny us aspecs our right to life (often in very violent ways) just because we’re aspec isn’t invalidating in any way…. /s

Aaaaand here’s some new stuff:

damn wtf did aces do to these people?! why so much hate towars em

Existing against their will, I suppose.

feministingforchange:

by Alise D. Chaffins (SOURCE)

I keep waiting, but it hasn’t happened yet.

A few weeks ago, there were lots of men looking out for the safety of American women everywhere by wanting to ban transgender women from using the ladies’ rooms at Target and other public places. We were told how women were precious, how they needed protected from “men in dresses.” When the current administration sent out messages to schools giving guidelines on how to treat transgender students, 11 states sued to make sure that our girls are safe in their locker rooms from transgender girls.

Oh, I heard them say that it wasn’t REALLY the trans people they were worried about. Sure, there would be plenty of opportunities to call them freaks and perverts. Lots of chances to remind us that there are just a few of them, so why should we bow to their desires. Lots of dismissive language that told trans men and women that their comfort and mental health don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

But no, it wasn’t primarily the trans people (especially trans women) that we needed to be protected from. It was the the pedophiles and the voyeurs who would take advantage of the laws. It was the men who would dress up like a woman so they could prey on women in bathrooms. Those were the real threat. Those were the men that needed to be dealt with. Violent men who would do actual harm against women — those were the men that we needed to be on the lookout for, those were who the men were concerned about. Keep women safe from men who were violent.

So when Stanford rapist Brock Turner got a mere six-month sentence, I started waiting.

Waiting for all of these men to start posting their outrage at the system that so dramatically failed a young woman.

Waiting for petitions to receive millions of signatures demanding stricter sentencing for rapists. Waiting for viral videos of pastors standing outside of the courthouse, speaking in animated tones about what grave injustice was taking place behind those walls.

Waiting for men to share the powerful words of the victim as a reminder that rape has lifetime consequences for those who experience it.

Waiting for men to remind other men that the responsibility not to rape lies with them, not with the women who are raped.

Waiting for these men to prove that their concern for their wives and daughters wasn’t really just a mask for the transphobia that they carried and didn’t want to be called on.

Instead, I’ve read a letter from a father saying that his son is being punished too harshly for only ““20 minutes of action,” where instead of a perpetrator of a violent crime, he is the victim of alcohol consumption and partying. I’ve read many times about how many drinks the victim had before she was raped. I’ve read about how we need to crack down on drinking on college campuses.

I’ve seen lots and lots of nothing at all from people who just weeks ago were ready to storm the bathroom stalls to make sure their wives and daughters were safe.

Where are you? Where is your outrage when a young woman is penetrated by fingers and leaves and pine needles behind a dumpster while she is unconscious? Where is your disgust for a system that slaps a rapist on the wrist and says, “Well, he probably won’t do THAT again.” Where is your anger at a culture that has more concern for the impact of jailing a rapist than the impact of a rape?

Weeks ago, we were told that women needed to be protected.

But apparently not from rapists.

A version of this post originally appeared on Knitting Soul.

nothorses:

This is just your regular free-of-charge reminder that when people argue that transandrophobia does not exist, or that its not important enough to talk about, they are explicitly saying they don’t care about sexual assault victims or victims of suicide (among other things).

Over half of all AFAB nonbinary people and trans men are or will be the victims of sexual assault. These are the highest rates in the community.

About 9 out of every 10 trans men have attempted or will attempt suicide. This is the highest rate in the community.

About half of all trans men have or will successfully commit suicide. This is the highest rate in the community.

Addressing these issues means talking about them, and we need a word for what this is in order to do that.

This is what “transandrophobia” is for. This is why we need that word.

It’s not about hurting or blaming trans women, it’s not about saying cis men are oppressed for being men or that cis women aren’t, it’s not a “white issue” or an “MRA” thing- and the people who argue that it is, and that we shouldn’t have the word because it is, are distracting from the real issues. They are taking attention away from, ignoring, and erasing those issues. They not only do not care about them- they want you not to care, too.

They want to remove the language we need in order to talk about these problems. They want us to stop taking about them. They want these problems to continue happening.

It’s not a fucking game.

accarahara:

aakari:

I used to love this community so much and looked up to so many girls / guys here. But there are truly disgusting people on here trying to pass their problematic behavior off as “sex work” and putting it under the umbrella of “safe and sane”. They are racist, unsafe and harmful and try to label it as “kink”. Tbh these people can’t see 5 feet in front of their ego to ever admit they are in the wrong. It makes me sick to my stomach

And the more people brush under the rug that these people are just “having a hard go of it” or “misused words” or “are learning and growing”, the more it is giving people confidence that they too can be racist and sexist and transphobic and sell fucking child pornography(hasn’t happened yet but I’m sure on the horizon) and not experience that bad of backlash

Continuing support for people you know are awful or have done awful things makes other people fullhesrtedly believe it’s not that big of a deal and the incidence of it will go up

Child porn, r*pe fantasies and raceplay… not a kink and shouldn’t be allowed in the community. You are literally just as bad if you support this type of disgusting behavior

pothead-paisan:

i crave violence

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