#revenge
She was my fantasy in high school–homecoming queen, top of the class, three different sports. Now my fantasy had come true and Miss Thing cleaned my house every weekend, turned her paychecks over to me, and begged to eat me out all in ratty reminders of her high school glory days.
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Ai: “Junko…”
Junko: “Oh no, ‘Junko’ in b-flat.”
Junko, fearfully: “You’re disappointed.”
Kotaro: “My policy is if you see something, say something.”
Tae: “ Ay aegh hgae hg hagehag ghan!” (I saw a squirrel in a tree today!)
Kotaro: “Outstanding.”
Kotaro: “This is what I’m talking about people!”
Yugiri: “Someone will die.”
Lily: “Of fun!”
Lily, watching the news: “Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!”
Tae, walking in covered with ink: “Awgh asghs ehaga hgerae ghiaghen enan.” (Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.)
Ai, after being hit by lightning a second time: “I learned some very valuable lessons from this.”
Junko: “I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.”
Ai: “Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.”
Kotaro: “In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.”
Sakura: “FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?”
Kotaro: “No! Four to five seconds!”
Sakura: “Too late!!!”
Saki, telling a long story from her past: “-and when I was arrested that was the best toilet wine I’ve ever had.”
Reiko: “But what you drank was urine, not wine”
Saki: “I knew it was too salty to be wine…”
Saki: “I’mma beat the shit out of you!”
Sakura: “Saki, eat a Snickers.”
Saki: “Why?”
Sakura, giving the Snickers bar to Saki: “Because you get grouchy when you’re hungry.”
Saki: *Takes a bite of it, spits it out quickly.
Sakura: “Better?”
Saki: “No! This taste like shit. Who gave you this bar!?”
Maimai: *Puts her arms behind, whistling innocently.
Saki: “Junko do you wanna do this test that tells you if you’re gay or not?”
Junko: “Sure, but I’m fairly certain that I’m not a homosexual”
Saki: “You sure?”
Saki: *Holds up a picture of Ai
Junko: “…”
Junko: “No, I’m fairly certain that I am a homosexual actually…”
Saki: “Today I’m going to help a couple get together”
Sakura: “Oh, that’s so nice, Saki! How are you going to do that?”
Saki: “Like this.”
Saki: *Plays a loud thunder sound effect from her phone.
Ai, jumping 3 feet off of the couch: “Gah!!!”
Junko, having a girl land in her lap and started holding onto her for dear life: “E-E-EH!?!?”
Kotaro: “WHAT HAPPENED!?!?”
Ai: “You want the long version or the short version?”
Kotaro: “The short.”
Saki, covered up with burns as if she just came out of an explosion: “Shit’s fucked.”
Kotaro: “… Okay, the long.”
Junko, in her ‘Gekkou Survive Mode’, holding the handle of a guitar in a similar condition: “Shit’s very fucked.”
Saki: “I have something to say.”
Sakura: “What is it?”
Saki: “Boo.”
Sakura: “Boo who?”
Saki: “Geez, Sakura. You shouldn’t have to cry about it!”
Saki, wearing a sock over her hand: “Look, it’s a cottonmouth snake!”
Sakura: “Aaaaaaaah, get it away!”
Saki: “Oi, it’s just one of my socks! Geez, what a wimp!”
Saki: *Tosses the sock idly into the other room.
Lily, emergeing holding the sock at arm’s length and holding her nose: “Aaaaaaaah, get it away!”
Ai: “Do you even have any friends?”
Kotaro: “Of course, I do!”
Ai: “Then who are they?”
Kotaro: “Me, Myself, and I.”
Lily: “So much for having friends.”
Akira to Saki: “I saw your strength by chance you are also a devilman?”
Saki: “Obviously, I’m too strong and-”
Ai, interrupting: “Yes, she is surely a demon. Would like to take her?”
Kotaro, on the phone after leaving Saki and Sakura in charge: “Enough! I’m coming back right now! I’m very disappointed in you, Saki.”
Kotaro: *Hangs up
Sakura: “What did he say?”
Saki: “He said he’s very disappointed in you."
Sakura: "Oh, man!”
Ai about Maimai: “Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.”
Yugiri: “Are we stealing them?”
Saki: “New or used?”
Ai: “Wonderful responses, both of you.”
Saki: “I’m going to take you out.”
Sakura, nervously: “Great, it’s a date!”
Saki: “I meant that as a threat.”
Saki, walking away quickly: “See you at five!”
Junko: “Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.”
Saki: “Oh, you’ve been?”
Junko: “Once. In Monopoly.”
