#self destructing
“The urge for destruction is also a creative urge! Destroy what destroys you”
Sticker seen in Melbourne
Inspiration for the week
Post link
Fuck trauma work
did i actually relapse or did i just never recover
Excited to be moving out on my own soon.
Scared to left to my own devises…
Scared to see what I’ll do when no one’s watching
The good thing about having no friends is that there will be no witnesses to my inevitable crash and burn.
I guess a heart can only beat for so long, while in someone else’s fist.
He laughed at me.
“you really think you’re mentally ill?” Asked my father, amused. My father. Who fully knows I have been on medicine for both anxiety and depression since I was 15. My father. Who fully knows they’ve had to up the dosage, not once, not twice, but 3 times, on my anti depressant. My father. Who had just witnessed my breakdown, my crying, my screaming-the cracking of my voice. My father. Who just learned I’ve struggled with an eating disorder since middle school, just a mere 10 minutes ago.
My father. How can I both love and detest you. How can I share your stubbornness and humanity but also be at the end of words that cut like the blades I use to keep in my sock drawer.
My father. How can I remember every heartbreaking snap of anger that’s come from your mouth, but forget to take my medicine every other day.
My father. How can I ignore your opinion while still seeking your approval.
My father. How can I go from your biggest fan to your biggest adversary. If this is a battle. I do not remember being drafted.
Growing up, i use to say I wanted to marry my father…
It’s nights like these that make me miss drugs.
Happy birthday
“You’re sleeping your life away”
No duh, that’s kinda the point Steven.
Guess who broke their ankle.
I can barely use crutches so I can’t be my usual independent self.
And just this first dr. Visit alone cost $700 (with insurance) and I haven’t even gotten a real cast yet.
Guess who’s fucked.
Please stop yelling please stop yelling please stop yelling please stop yelling please stop yelling please stop yelling please stop yelling please stop yelling
I wish my mind would learn to stop talking, stop talking, stop talking… because I always regret it
Fuck it all
