one of the most amazing things that has been said to me in therapy is that self esteem doesn’t exist.
and that floored people and the psych went onto say that what she meant was that self esteem is a concept that actually includes a vast array of things and labelling them all as one thing is really limiting and prevents actual improvement
you could have real strong pride in the things you create and hate your body
you could hate your creations but also want to share them with people
you could not hate yourself at all but not take care of yourself, engage in reckless self endangerment
thats all bundled under ‘self esteem’ but saying ‘i need better self esteem’ doesn’t mean anything
whereas if you say ‘i need to work on ways to keeping myself safe, refusing to act on destructive urges’ or ‘i want to be in a place where i believe compliments trusted people give me’
thats concrete, thats a goal.
having it said in therapy helped a lot of people in my group stop saying ‘i have low self esteem’ and start specifying about the actual issue they have
you could have real strong
pride in the things you create
and hate your body
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
your friend comes over a lot, but they keep talking about your coffee maker. every time, they tell you about how awesome your coffee maker is. they think its a compliment. they hint about how they want you to make coffee for them. sometimes they even come into your house to make themselves coffee. though they assure you it’s you they like, they never spend any time more than necessary getting to know you and spending time with you. it doesn’t take too long for you to realize that they don’t actually like you, they just like your coffee.
don’t let it be harder to realize in relationships. girls, you have a body. you are not your body. you have boobs. you are not your boobs. you have a butt. you are not your butt. guys comment on you on your body, thinking it’s a compliment to you but it isn’t. it’s like telling you they like you because of your coffee maker or your car or your dining room table, or couch or any other thing that you own.
