Just to be clear he’s a bad type of person in general but like there’s a specific type of substitute teacher like this and they’re all obnoxious and there are so many of them.
Where as people in general he still sucks but it gets diluted in like the people who beat dogs and strangers who touch you without permission.
Okay but the first set of gifs is not a joke like that’s literally how it goes.
One of the girls at work won’t get in the guy’s car unless he agrees to let her take photos of him and his license plate to text to her mother. If he gets mad or makes a fuss she cancels the date and goes back inside.
Reblogging for that
I’ve had someone take pics of me and my license plate on a first date before & I was okay with it. I’ve also had a friend allow me to view the tracking on her phone when she went to meet up with a guy the first time. This isn’t a joke at all & women have good reason to worry.
i have only ever met 2 people online, and made sure that we met up somewhere that was 1)public 2)close to my home.
After, I walked to the dollar store that was a couple shops down until I knew they were gone, before walking home.
Louis C.K. kind of nailed it. Men worry that their date won’t measure up to their aesthetic preferences. Women worry that they’re going wind up dead.
The disparity is RIDICULOUS, and the fact that dudes get offended when women try to protect themselves is hard proof that way too many guys Do Not Understand how dangerous it is to be a woman. (Not to mention it’s fucking insulting. “How dare you not trust your life and safety to a complete stranger whose intentions you have no way of knowing”?)
Lookin’ at the notes on this post following my earlier reblog and just going….
Wow. WOW. Look at all these sheltered people and their internalized misogyny.
The point isn’t, “NOT ALL MEN ARE OUT TO GET YOU.”
The point is, “WE HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING A NICE GUY FROM A SERIAL KILLER.”
It’s not like they fucking wear nametags, okay? Moreover, the most awful people with the worst intentions often put on the nicest face or deliberately make themselves seem harmless and likeable, to lull potential victims into a false sense of security. (Read up on Ted Bundy sometime. It’s horrifying shit. Or read any thread on the “Let’s Not Meet” subreddit.)
In order to protect ourselves, we are forced to assume the worst of every man we meet, because statistically speaking, the biggest danger to women…IS MEN. Saying “not all men are out to get you, you’re just being paranoid” is like saying “not every car you ride in is going to crash, so buckling your seatbealt is stupid.”
When dealing with an unknown situation, in the absence of absolute proof of safety, exercising a little extra caution can be the difference between life and death. Shaming women for being what you may view as overly cautious is every bit as horrid as blaming them if something goes wrong later on.
And refusing to go to a secluded location with a complete stranger without letting someone know where you’re going, who you’re with, and how to find you is just common street sense, whether you’re on a date or just going out for business or social purposes.
If your life has been so sheltered (or your coping skills so incredible) that you see no need to distrust strangers or worry about the potential for violence, you should thank your lucky stars.
And you should also be aware that just because it hasn’t happened to you or anyone you know does not mean that it doesn’t happen.
Lemme say that louder for the people in the back.
Just because it hasn’t happened to you or anyone you know does not mean that it doesn’t happen.
Re-Reblog for relevant commentary.
And if you won’t take a woman’s word for it because you are some kind of asshat, men who sleep with men also mirror these rituals because even men are afraid of other men based on men’s behavior and inability to understand “no” or take rejection well.
I’ll stop reblogging this when it stops being relevant
Alllll of this. Being paranoid will often save your life. Assholes who say otherwise need to shut their noise holes and stop acting like they know better.
i would just like to remind people that h*rmaphrodite is in fact a slur against intersex people (the h slur). don’t refer to us as that, either as individuals or a group - unless someone says it’s okay for you to call them that (some of us do identify with the term).
you. you know hermaphroditus was made intersex from sexual assault and then had the fountain it happened in “cursed” so that anyone who went in it would become intersex, right. that’s. that’s not comforting at all. please stop mentioning them
I wanted to touch on something that has been haunting me lately. At 13 I was sexually assaulted by my best friend at the time. I told my closest friends when I was ready, in fear that this could happen to them. As I look back at it, 9 years later, I feel disgusted. All of those friends, except for 2 of them, I told 8 of them, erased them from their lives and stood by my side proudly. Everyone else continued to be his friend and try and be mine at the same time. During that time it hurt me alot because I felt like they either didn’t believe me or didn’t think that what he did was that big of a deal. I felt incredibly alone, I didn’t report it in fear of being harrassed as I lived in a very small town, and also because his family had alot of money and I did not, not to mention he had also threatened me. And these girls, some of whom I had known since elementary school, had done something completely unforgettable, and left me feeling even more ashamed of myself. I’m writing this because sometimes you dont realize the things you may be doing, but if you friend confines in you about assault or abuse, you be there for them, Male or female. Be the support system they need to help them feel safe, and to report what has happened to them. They already feel vulnerable enough, be their safe place.
i know this doesn’t need to be said, but just a gentle reminder that you don’t owe anyone anything - esp not today, you don’t owe anyone a post or a reblog about the report that was released today regarding the blackhawks
internet culture and tumblr in particular is very much “if you’re not talking about the thing that must mean you support it!!” and that’s just not the case
if today is triggering for you (as it is for me) you have no obligation to post anything or even be online today
please put yourselves and your mental health and peace first today and every day
love y’all ❤️
i hate that the message of this post is so relevant again, but please please my loves take care of yourselves and dont engage in discourse that will be harmful or triggering to you
when i and many survivors say that ”silence is complicity” it’s never about survivors or victims protecting their mental health and their peace - that declaration is directed towards the aggressors, the abusers, the administration, the bystanders, the ones who were told about it in locker rooms, every single person who knew and didnt do a damn thing about it
i love you, stay safe, stay healthy, put yourselves first and my dms are always always open
If there’s something I learned from working with sexual assault survivors and being one myself, it’s that no two people deal with trauma the same way. Some laugh. Some rage. Some cry. The very last thing a survivor needs is to feel like they need to conform to some “typical” or “proper” way of reacting. This is why true advocates for survivors will never pressure them into speaking to the police or reporting. The most empowering thing you can do for a survivor is to deeply listen and let them make their own choices about what to do next.
Let’s do that for each other. Let’s make radically caring space for each other, OK? Let’s honor each other’s choices as survivors of the cishetpatriarchy. Some of us will be in the streets fighting. Some will be in the courts fighting. Some will be battling from the internet or our phones. Some need to tune out and not engage right now at all. None of us are “doing it” wrong.
From hearing anti-choice arguments, you may think anti-choicers don’t understand the concepts of consent and bodily autonomy. It’s worse than that. Anti-choicers don’t believe in the concepts of consent or bodily autonomy.
I was sexually assaulted when I was 21 years old. At the time, I was still heavily Christian, attending a Christian college, and completely surrounded by other Christian people. As such, I had never heard of the concept of sexual consent. I was taught rape was bad only because it spoiled your virginity before marriage or caused you to commit adultery after marriage. (I had no concept of marital rape at all.)
I wasn’t penetrated during the attack and was technically still a virgin, so for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why I was crying about it every night. I finally worked up the courage to tell my ecclesiastical leader about it. He told me I shouldn’t have gone where I had gone and that I was lucky, for the sake of my future husband, that it wasn’t much worse.
If it seems like trying to discuss bodily autonomy with an anti-choicer is like talking to a brick wall, this could easily be the reason. It’s hard to explain why restricting abortion rights is wrong when someone has no concept of basic human rights to begin with. And I really believe many anti-choice leaders dounderstand bodily autonomy and consent, but just don’t believe people with uteruses deserve them.
This brainwashing has consequences. A little while back, I was playing Cards Against Humanity with a couple twentysomething Christian guys (awkward af) when one of us played the card “consensual sex.” One of the guys, who might be getting married soon, sincerely, in all earnestness, asked, “What’s that?”
tl;dr In order to get people to understand why abortion rights are important, it might be necessary to start from square one. Rape culture and anti-abortion culture are built on the same lie, which is that people with certain bodies belong to someone or something else. You get the final say over what happens to YOUR uterus, pussy, or body, period.
2.) the de-sexualization of teenagers is…also bad.
don’t get me wrong, an adult absolutely should not be looking at a 15 year old and thinking ‘god i wanna fuck that.’ that’s creepy as fuck. grown adults should not be regarding minors in a sexual light, full stop. see point number 1: the sexualization of teenagers by adults is bad.
but at the same time, we really need to stop this trend of infantilizing teenagers and stripping them of their sexuality. we need to stop shoving abstinence down their throats. we need to stop telling them that they’re ‘too young’ to know their sexual orientation or to read about sex and sexual relationships until they reach an arbitrary age. we need to stop taking the locks off their doors and installing spyware on their computers in hopes of catching them jacking off or looking at porn so we can punish them accordingly. we need to stop censoring any and all mentions of sex and sexuality from the books teenagers read or the shows they watch. we need to stop equating two teenagers having consensual sex with rape or equating a 16 year old with a 6 year old.
like what the fuck do you think your teenager is going to do when they actually arebeing raped, groomed, or abused? when they get pregnant? when they’re worried they might have an std? they’re sure as fuck not going to tell you about it just so you can ground them, berate them, laugh them off, kick them to the curb, or take their partner to court in a fit of stubborn puritan rage.
teenagers deserve the chance to safely explore their sexualities without fear of punishment, ridicule, or adult involvement. they’re also going to be sexual whether you approve of it or not and if you’d rather dedicate your life to obsessing over and controlling teens’ sexualities than keeping them safe, you guys are just assholes and creeps.
Author’s note: I decided to rewrite one of my stories I made when I was younger. I’ve gotten better at writing over the years of when I first made the story. I’m thinking of publishing it if I think it’s good enough. I’ve decided to make the story more book like with chapters and all that. The story is now first person and from Ollo’s and others perspective.
Ollo’s story is inspired by the Manga ‘Emergence’ or some call it ‘Metamorphosis’. It’s written by the hentai artist Shindol. Even though the story is hentai it has really good plot and is heartbreaking. You can read it for free on the website Nhentai (Only if you can handle it the story is DEPRESSING and dark and it’s also 18+). Saki Yoshida (The main character in emergence) and her story inspired Ollo and all the mistakes she made. Hopefully people will love Ollo and her story.
Warning: Story contains.
Strong language
Sexual Assault
Sex
Substance (Drug and alcohol) abuse
Underage drinking
Mental illness/suicidal themes
Eating disorders
Story: 18 years ago a Korean baby with black hair and brown eyes was born. My mom would have been a single parent and unable to take care of me if she didn’t give me up for adoption. She always told me if was the hardest decision she ever made and wished she could take care of me but couldn’t. I don’t hate her for her choice and I understand why she did it. And, I don’t love her any less because of it.
At birth I was adopted by my two dads Taeyeon and Mark. I also have a big brother named Hyungwon which is a year older than me. We lived in Korean long enough to adopt my two younger sisters. Mia who is two years younger than me and Uzuki who is three years younger.
Life with my dads was great. Even though I was young and don’t remember much in Korea, I remember them being kind and loving. They always made sure we were happy and bought us everything we wanted. They always played with us and cheered us up when we were sad. It’s not like we had anything to be sad about, it was mostly if we fell down or if Hyung didn’t share his Playstation.
Every weekend we all rode the train to our mother’s houses. My mom lived in a small apartment with my grandmother in seoul. My mom is very beautiful and sweet, and a lot of people say I remind them of her, but I don’t see it. Shes so beautiful and I’m anything but that. I remember being with my mom the most in Korea. I remember her always calling me chubby when I went to her house. i know she never meant to say that to hurt me but it started to.
After a few years in Korea my dad found a better job in Tokyo, Japan. So me and my family packed up and moved to japan in a decent sized house in the city. I also started school during this time and at first I was really excited to start and meet new friends. Only if I knew what was really about to come.
When I first started I found out how man kids could be. I was called fat, ugly, pig, and so much more. Throughout the years one name stuck with me. It was given to me by a girl named Star. She was rich, pretty, and popular. I remember the first day I came to school she called me a pig and followed it with pig noises. I remember some of the kids laughing and me wanting to crawl in a ball and hide.
I didn’t make many friends when I was younger and mostly got bullied. It was mostly my fault. I mean everything is my fault. I pushed people away scared of being teased and picked on.
I’m the reason I was so lonely and sad.
The teasing went on for years and I never told anyone what was happening to me except for Hyung who stood up for me when he could. I remember this one incident when I was 8.
I was sitting under one of the playground play sets drawing in the ground with a stick. And, star and her friends walked up to me.
“Move pig” She said to me.
I stopped drawing in the dirt and told her “No I always play here” with my head still down.
I remember her kicking dirt in my face causing me to fall back and cry. I remember her laughing with her friends and saying to me,”Listen fatty you’ll never be anything like me. You’re fat and ugly and no one likes you. You’re probably going to be like one of those girls who has sex with men to feel happy. So if you know whats best for you, you should just g-”
I remember Hyung ran under the play set in front of me to protect me from them. He told them to leave me alone before he beats all their asses. He was older than them and scarier than them so they all left. He hugged me and told me, “Don’t listen to them. You’re nothing like they said you were. You’re one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen.”
I wish I listen to him.
Who knew kids that age could develop a eating disorder. I use to starve myself and workout to the point of passing out. I didn’t know what a eating disorder was back then. I just simply thought I was working out like normal and not slowly killing my body. My family noticed the weight loss but just shrugged it off thinking I was losing baby weight. A part of me wished they stopped me and the other part is happy they didn’t.
People at school started to notice the weight loss. Boys drolled over me, but never said anything. I guess they were scared of getting bullied for talking to the past fat girl. Girls hated me and would talk about me behind my back. I remember them saying things like, “She probably makes herself throw up like those models.”
My dream was to look like my favorite K-pop idols. I use to use the posters in my room of them as inspiration. I even use to talk to them and treat them like friends when I was alone in my room. I really needed friends.
I was really lonely….
Ending note: Welp that was the ending of the unfinished rough draft of Ollo. I’m going to finish the story in a few months and finish the story. I hope you enjoyed the sneak peek.
aaron taylor johnsonandcharlie heaton were both groomed by older, more powerful women when they were new to the industry. terry crews spoke of being sexually harassed by an executive. brendan fraser was sexually assaulted and the experience was so horrible for him that it spiraled him into a depression, affecting his career. his assaulter never faced charges. the kevin spacey trial is coming up where he is being charged for sexual assault.
if you GENUINELY care for male victims, at least famous ones, you’d make some noise about these cases. however, these past few months, i have hardly seen a bolstering of these cases. instead i see a campaign of inappropriate memes and edits being made. is that your way to show you “care about male victims” lmao?? by making a mockery of a case discussing dv topics?? i think people like to hide behind the guise of caring about male victims when it’s really just an excuse to engage in inappropriate, obscene behaviors.
The man who sexually assaulted me when I was 14 is now on tiktok positioning himself as a feminist and a women’s rights advocate. He stitches with popular feminist accounts and doesn’t really say much other than voicing his agreement.
I just watched one where the woman was talking about how it’s bullshit when society blames women by saying things like “they were asking for it” because of how they dressed etc, and he stitched that video to voice his agreement, but that’s literally one of the excuses he gave when he was explaining to people why what he did to me wasn’t rape. And that’s putting aside the fact that I was 14 and he was at least 21 or 22.
Part of me wants to believe that he’s grown as a person and he recognizes that what he did was wrong. It’s been 20 years. He could have changed. He could feel regret and remorse. He could be advocating in this way because of what he did to me.
But I don’t think I actually believe that. I can’t really bring myself to believe that. I think he’s still a manipulative, deceptive, selfish piece of shit person who is probably only on tiktok because it gives him access to young vulnerable people.
Part of me wants to make a new tiktok account and stitch his videos and call him out. But I’m not brave enough.
Sometimes it’s hard to be ace around other people who claim to be ace or aroace and then disrespect that you don’t want to have sex or make out or provide oral.
You think you’ve found your people, and yet I have been out with several folk who get handsy and gropey or get offended when you don’t want their hand in your hair or a tongue In your mouth.
And I’m still getting the whole song and dance from them you get from somebody who is sexually active, where they accuse you of leading them on or that you are boring or a wet paper towel. Except now it’s couched in ace terms; it’s a spectrum or hey we ace people can be sexually active too! or some ace people just need release and I thought you’d be cool with that.
No! Asexual for me means without sex. Without second and third base. I’ll hold your hand, maybe cuddle if I’m not feeling claustrophobic. Getting the exact same sharp words from other people with ace pins and stickers on their car or entire online personalities touting their ace cred about that I do with sexually actively people sucks.
Some ace people are really just asexual and its bullshit how there is a big push from other Aces who want everyone to know they have sex too who -then- get upset when they are actually with someone who doesn’t. And no body wants to talk about it.
I had a very different message ready to go for today. I was fully prepared to leave this blog behind. But I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to let three years of really hard work go down the drain.
So today I am opting instead to lay my cards all on the table. I don’t care whose toes I step on, I’m tired of biting my tongue because I’m too anxious or too worried about causing a problem. I’ve finally realized I have to take care of myself too and have a right to my thoughts same as everyone else. Feel free to unfollow if this post bothers you, no hard feelings.
Under cut for fandom wank and mentions of: sexual assault, rape, abuse, csa, and for being (sort of) S*lver critical.
Full disclosure: I’m really tired of all the guilt tripping posts and arguments that some S*lver/Si/verfl*nt fans have been making, accusing people who don’t like S*lver of either being ableist or dismissing/downplaying the trauma of his backstory, specifically his supposedly being a sexual assault survivor/possibly a csa survivor) (I say supposedly because there’s nothing in canon that says this officially, and the creator’s quotes people attribute it to also aren’t specific, though I understand why people interpret them that way; still the fact is Silver being a csa survivor is speculation). I’m tired of people who use these two things to shut down people who criticize S*lver. It’s so upsetting to me how often this has been happening and that people are doing it so casually to dismiss criticism. It’s completely killed my desire to be here. That, on top of people continuously being harassed by certain people. Like I’ve said before I am truly busy, but the atmosphere here has just been constantly going from bad to worse and I continue to have no desire to make time for this place.
First of all, I’ve not seen anyone say that what he went through wasn’t horrifying, that losing a leg made him lesser as a person, or that he deserved whatever trauma that happened to him in the past. I’ve seen people criticize with his actions during the season, especially s4, but I’ve never seen anyone “dismiss” his traumas as in saying they’re not valid (ofc, I have no way of seeing what every single person has said, so I can’t say no one has ever done so, but if they have, I haven’t seen it.) Genuinely, it’s not an experience I would wish on anyone. But what I know is that people have GOT to stop treating previous abuse as a free pass to do shitty things. Whatever trauma he endured doesn’t change the fact he did an awful thing. It can explain it, but it doesn’t excuse it.
I’ve made a previous post on my personal blog months ago, but I’m going to put it out in the open here: I am a csa rape survivor. I’m still, and have been, in counseling the past couple years because of it and am only now beginning to come to terms with what happened to me. My stepfather who did it to me was also abused. Do you understand how completely it fucks me up, to come on here and see posts telling me how much of an asshole and a bad person I am, that I have no empathy, simply because I have an unfavorable opinion against someone’s favorite character? Do you understand how much it fucks me up to have the trauma I endured, used as a club to beat me and others with? To see the trauma I endured used to beat people down and try to derail conversations criticizing S*lver, to try and guilt trip them? Hell, I’ve seen other csa survivors get attacked outright by anons this very way!
It will never stop being absurd to me that I have to divulge this stuff because people care about a fictional character’s feelings more than the real people who’ve endured the trauma they’re supposedly sticking up for. Same thing with people throwing around accusations of ableism. You’re running around telling people they’re ableist because you don’t see their reasons for disliking your fave as valid and therefore assume they must dislike him because he’s disabled.
You don’t have to see what he did as abusive, you just have to accept that I and others do, as is our right. And by telling me I’m an asshole with no empathy for not being more forgiving towards S*lver, you’re essentially saying that because he was someone who was abused and traumatized, I’m an asshole for not forgiving the person who hurt me, because he was also previously abused and traumatized. Maybe that’s not what is meant, but that’s the message I’m getting from it.
But because I do understand that S*lver is very important to some people, and that there are also csa/abuse survivors on the other side of this argument, I want to say that:
I am not saying that every person who was abused becomes abusive. I am saying that sometimes it does happen and that previous trauma is not an excuse.
I am not saying that anyone is a bad person for liking S*lver, or sympathizing with him. It’s okay to love flawed characters. If it weren’t, we’d all be screwed in this fandom. Believe it or not, I actually do understand why he did some things, and I can sympathize with the fear of losing people you care about, etc.
I am not equating what S*lver did with what happened to me, I was speaking of abuse broadly to make my point.
I simply have some very big problems with things he’s done, and I am allowed to.
If that’s not enough then consider the following:
S*lver used to be a character I liked very much, and I do think having someone disabled in a prominent, badass pirate role, and in an interracial romance is something very important. I used to ship Si/verfl*nt, and there are remnant gifsets floating around as proof. Through this blog, I met, fell in love with, and married a Si/verfl*nter who used to be one of the biggest shippers in the fandom. So if you still feel that I’m ableist, or heartless, or am hating just for the sake of it after all this, then I seriously don’t know what to tell you.
My point is this: I am done seeing this stuff. I am not going to tolerate it anymore. If I see any of these kinds of posts when it’s unwarranted, whether it’s reblogging, posting, etc. you’re getting unfollowed and probably blocked. You’re allowed to do whatever you want on your own blog, and I am under no obligation to see it, and I have every right to do what’s best for my own mental health.
As for this blog…
I can’t promise I won’t still have long activity gaps, or that I’ll be up for making new content anytime soon (I swear I’ve tried, but my motivation always deflates as fast as it comes, I am having some luck with fanfics though.) I can’t even promise that I won’t end up quitting anyway. But I can promise I will continue trying, for everyone here who’s stuck by this blog and me. I’m sorry I couldn’t leave a happier message here, but I’ve needed to say this for a really long time.
I really do thank everyone here <3 You’re the reason this blog has been as successful as it has, and I really appreciate you, even if I don’t know how to show it <3 Here’s to hopefully more years to come. Thank you for being here.
