#sick of being sick

I had such a rough day today. I’m in partial hospitalization (a temporary day program) right now and some other patients there really pissed me off. Talking about how they think “psychos” shouldn’t be kept with other patients when being hospitalized. “There should be another ward for people like that.” I don’t know why it bothered me so much. Shit like that usually doesn’t get to me. I haven’t suffered from psychosis since early 2018. But the way they were talking about it… Like they are so fucking superior. It just got under my skin. Then they were talking about smoking weed, doing shrooms and lsd at festivals. “Not like bad drugs. I don’t consider that stuff real drugs.” Neither do I. But what exactly are “bad drugs”? Huh Karen? It’s getting hard to think again. Fuck my clouded mind! I need help. I need to make this feeling go away. My head is starting to hurt again! I need some “medication”. I don’t know where to get it anymore. I’m starting to feel myself fade again.

When will this end?! Please make it stop! How do I make it stop?!

I wish that I had enough social skills to piss the right people off to get myself murdered.