james: mother hen. absolute goofball, but always fussing over his friends. actually really smart, but likes to goof off in class with sirius. goes to sleep at, like, 9:30 every night and wakes up at 5 to practise quidditch. (always runs into remus, just now going to sleep) huge baker! euphemia had him at her side in the kitchen all throughout his childhood. (he’s a huge mummy’s boy) gives me pan vibes and wasn’t aware everyone wasn’t just attracted to everyone for a long time hjsjs
remus: sarcastic asf. literally sarcasm icon. terrible sleep schedule, is up until five every morning reading/researching the random mating habits of an obscure bird found only in latvia. tells sirius all about it at breakfast the next morning. has an insane jumper collection because that’s ALL he wears. tries and fails to keep plants alive. braids sirius’s hair when he’s stressed, which is often, bc my man has anxiety! he and regulus are secretly best friends and spend nights in the library together geeking out. i see him as bi :)
sirius: he/they! absolutely. his leather jacket is actually fake leather and was a gift from marlene, who threatened to skin him if he wore a real leather jacket. the opposite of a morning person - known to throw pillows at james every morning when he gets up. flirts with remus like nobodies business, but gets immensely flustered when remus flirts with him. never wears his uniform correctly, minnie has given up trying to make him. very smart but has to keep up the badass troublemaker ruse (except when remus wants to study with him) likes to play with remus’s hair and steal his jumpers :) a plant dad extreme, extremely protective over his children.
peter: quiet around people he doesn’t know, but actually has a biting wit and makes the best jokes. he and remus are both so sarcastic it brings james and sirius to their knees. he’s also really good at finding places, and has discovered most of the secret passages for the map. absolute rubbish at transfiguration, but is a BOSS at history of magic and potions. probably one of the only people to actively enjoy history of magic. he always gets remus chocolate from the kitchens so he’s never out. either aro/ace or bi/ace in my opinion :)
He’s never been particularly restful, always fidgeting and stretching, even during sleep. His eagerness to move even follows him into his dreams. It hasn’t changed since the war. When it isn’t unbounded energy keeping him on the verge of waking up, it’s unease.
Today, it is the latter.
It has been three days since Voldemort disappeared, and James hasn’t slept since.
In the immediate aftermath, when the relief of finding their family alive had given way to wondering what exactly happened, Lily thought, briefly, that it had been a miracle. That the prophecy lingering over their heads had finally come to fruition, and their son had won. But James knew better. For the first time in his life, he was unwilling to trust in the goodness of the world. It didn’t take long to figure out why.
James cannot find rest in a world where Sirius Black isn’t alive.
They had been asleep, of all things. Finally under the protection of the Fidelius, finally able to ease some of the heavy weight of the worry and fatigue from trying not to be found, they turned in early that night. They did not hear Sirius when he came to check on Harry, or his quiet refusals to move away from Harry’s cot.
“Love magic,” is Dumbledore’s explanation when they ask. His tone sounds almost reverent, and for some reason, that makes James want to hit him.
There is one fact they do know, from the information flooding from the other side. At some point, Regulus Black asked Voldemort to spare his brother’s life. Albus doesn’t have an answer for how an eighteen-year-old boy had risen high enough in the ranks to be able to make such a request of Lord Voldemort. Regulus is dead now, so it’s not as if they can ask him.
All the same, Sirius was given a choice. Step aside and let his godson be taken, or suffer the consequences of standing in the way.
He had not hesitated.
Only the Order mourns. All along the wizarding world, celebrations are breaking out because of the Dark Lord’s fall. No one seems to care that it was at the cost of someone’s life. While fireworks light up the London sky in the daytime, James Potter lowers his best friend into the ground.
Minerva McGonagall is crying. James’s mother is gone, and Walburga Black could care less, but Minerva McGonagall is crying and James cannot look at her without feeling as if he’s forced her son into the grave.
He’s supposed to speak, of course. James is supposed to speak because he’s Sirius’s family, and everyone is looking at him for answers. And he tries.
“Sirius Black,” he says, hoarsely. His throat is too tight to continue, so he begins again. “Was—” is all James manages before he can’t find words.
Lily takes over then, in spite of the tears on her own face. She holds James’s hand in her own and their baby on her hip, and she’s so much stronger than him, because she can bring herself to use past tense.
Exhaustion doesn’t make James any less aware, so it’s not hard to navigate people after the service, speaking when he’s supposed to and nodding when he’s not.
If he were to choose to speak to anyone, it would be Remus, but neither of them can look each other in the eye. Lily, beautiful and unbending to their brokenness, hands Harry over to James and takes Remus into her arms. James looks away when his shoulders begin to shake.
Harry fists his hand in James’s shirt, and James looks down at him. He is smiling, because he does not know any better. There is a scar on his forehead from three days ago, still fresh. It had been Harry’s crying that woke them up moments before the explosion.
His son’s life is a gift from Sirius which he will never be able to repay.
Lily’s hand on his shoulder guides him away from the crowds eventually, and he’s grateful. They walk to Bathilda’s house, their temporary home. It isn’t far, because Sirius has been buried in Godric’s Hollow next to the parents who loved him.
“He was supposed to come over today,” says James pointlessly. Lily knows this. She has been just as excited for it as he has. Still, he feels the need to fill the silence. The world is too quiet now.
Lily nods, eyes downcast. “I was going to make him a cake.”
Sirius Black will never be twenty-two, but they throw him a birthday party anyway.
There are a number of fics in the drafts of this blog that I started a few years ago, and no longer feel the inclination to finish. But there are still some pretty fun bits and bobs, so I’m going to throw them all up in one post if anyone is interested in some disjointed excerpts.
–
Dueling - Jan 27, 2014
James has his hands on her shoulders, and she is calculating how best to catapult him off of her body when his lips descend to kiss her thoroughly.
“James,” she protests, as they pause for a breath, “we’re supposed to be fighting.”
“Sorry,” he murmurs, but the grin on his face contradicts his apology.
Later, when they are about to leave, Lily says, “I think we should compartmentalize our situations.” She does not meet his eyes, choosing instead to rub nonexistent grease off of her wand by running it against her jeans.
“How so?”
“Well… as much as I like snogging you, I think that we should have… snogging times, and dueling times. So we can be efficient with, er, both,” It sounds oddly formal and for reasons Lily is unsure about, a flush has risen in her cheeks. She still refuses to look him in the face.
James tilts her chin up, a gleeful look on his face. “Lily Evans, are you asking me out?”
She splutters out an indignant protest but James just grins all the wider. “Youare asking me out,” he says, leaning closer to get her to look at him directly. Her cheeks are hot as his hands move to either side of her face. “Yes.”
–
And There Was Only One Bed - Feb 2, 2014
“One of you can come up and sleep with me.” As all four boys seem to prepare themselves for a smarmy comment, she adds, “Don’t start, gits. You know what I mean.”
“If someone’s joining you, Wormtail’s out,” Sirius says, his eyes flicking to the boy in question, “he’s a kicker.” From his tone, it seems that Sirius has experienced this very quality one too many times.
Peter huffs indignantly. “Padfoot’s a prat, I kicked him out of a hammock one time—” He cuts himself off as he sees the black-haired boy fingering his wand. “Fine, I’m out.”
“I’m out, too,” Remus says with a sigh. “I roll about too much, I’m afraid. I’d be falling out of the bed anyway.“
James does not say anything, but instead he and Sirius seem to communicate something with a glance between them. James gives Sirius a warning look, but Sirius simply grins and pats the wooden arms of the chair, saying, "I’m comfortable where I am,”
“C'mere, then,” Lily says to James, gesturing to the spot next to her. Shooting a loaded glance at his best mate, he sits down.
–
Pecker Parody - April 22, 2014
James Potter had a problem. This particular dilemma was approximately five feet tall, freckled, and had a habit of popping up at inopportune times.
This problem was his diddly-doo. His magical wanking stick, if you will. You see, while having a dingler the size of a broomstick was all well and good when he was a boy, due to the fact he could ride it around like a pogo stick, at the age of eighteen, it was a bit more troublesome.
The truth of the matter was that he wanted to put his party popper inside Lily’s cash register, but he didn’t know how to tell her.
–
Birth - March 15, 2015
“I can’t believe you just did that,” he says in awe. “Did you know you could do that?”
Brushing some of her hair out of her sweaty face, Lily laughs. “I’d had some time to get used to the idea, yeah.”
James looks back at the bundle in his arms, and then again at his wife. “You just pushed an entire person out of you. Our person. He’s not tiny, either. I mean, he is tiny, but only because he’s a baby. Otherwise, he’s quite a large thing to be exiting any orifice.”
“If we ever do this again, you can do that part,” she says leaning back against the pillows.
“This is… ridiculous,” she murmurs against his lips.
James laughs. “It’s a little late to denounce snogging on the beach, Evans, since we’ve been doing it for the past few weeks.” As he speaks, he drops his mouth to her neck, smiling as her eyes flutter.
Lily pulls his face up by the chin to meet his gaze. “I meant this whole thing.” She gestures around them. “After what happened after the Defence O.W.L. at the end of last term, how can you find any of this normal? Everything was such a mess after. Hell, if we hadn’t both come to the same place this holiday, I’d still be stewing in it by September.”
“But we did,” says James, brushing his nose against hers. “We talked and we yelled and we talked more and then you threw yourself at me.”
He dodges her swat at him much too easily to satisfy her, but at her raised brow he makes an amendment. “Alright, so I may have done some of the throwing. I’m a Chaser. I need to hone my reflexes.”
“My point is, it doesn’t feel like you’re Potter on this beach,” Lily says, ruffling his hair pointedly. She smiles. “You’re just James.”
“Just James,” he repeats, adjusting so he lies beside her instead of half atop her. “You make it sound like I’m two different people.”
It is Lily’s turn to laugh. “Aren’t you? I can’t imagine this version of you hoisting someone up by their ankles.”
“Of course not,” says James immediately. “I’m wearing trunks. Where would I keep my wand?”
Lily is already giggling by the time James begins suggesting locations on his body that he might be hiding his wand, and by the end of his lewd list, she is nearly having a fit on the sand. When she catches her breath, she looks at him. “I know I don’t get to keep Just James forever,” she says, leaning on his arm. “But at least try to preserve the illusion for me when we get back to school by avoiding me.”
James is quiet for a moment, but when he speaks his voice is soft. “You’re being silly, Lily,” he tells her, pulling her closer. “This is who I am. Caring about your feelings, about anyone’s feelings, isn’t exclusive to this beach.”
She kisses him, slowly and deeply. “Try to remember saying that.”
James grins. “If I’m going to be reliving a memory from this holiday, I reckon I have to choose the night under the pier—”
Lily laughs, cutting him off with her lips. “Be quiet, James.”
–
Masquerade - Dec 16, 2015
“So you’re Muggle-born, then?” he says thoughtfully. She stiffens, and he hasten to add, “It doesn’t matter to me. I’m just trying to figure how that narrows down the options for who you are.”
She smiles, but then looks a little put-out. “That’s hardly fair, I don’t know anything about you.”
“Pureblood,” he tells her, kissing her neck.
“A pureblood that doesn’t care that I’m Muggle-born? That does narrow down the options.” Her fingers tug at his robe. “N.E.W.T. classes?”
He shakes his head, kissing her lips quickly. “Too easy. Do you play Quidditch?”
“No. Do you?”
After a moment of hesitation, he says, “Yes,” so she is quick to follow with a suspicious, “On a team or for leisure?”
He laughs. “Both.”
–
Problematic.jpg - March 29, 2016
“James Potter,” Lily says to Mary suddenly, “is my problematic fave.”
“Receipts, please,” says Mary, not looking up from her copy of Witch Weekly.
“Plus, he’s like, a pureblood. So he’s got the whole legacy of all that fucked-up culture.”
“But like, a lowkey pureblood. He’s 12% Muggle-born.”
–
Junks the Trash King: The Sequel - April 18, 2016
“I’ve met the Rubbish Man,” announces Lily upon entering her flat.
“Good, tell him we need a new recycling bin,” says Mary absently. “There’s a family of raccoon living in ours.”
“Not him, Junks.”
The name catches Mary’s attention. “The soulmate?” she asks, straightening up. “How was he?”
Lily drags herself over to their kitchen table and collapses into a seat. “Not named Junks, for one.” Lily holds up her palm for Mary to inspect. “Apparently this is supposed to say ‘James.’”
“Shame. I’d rather hoped to one day receive a wedding invitation inviting me to the marriage of Lily and Junks. Though I’d have to bin it for the wordplay, you understand.” Lily turns her hand so she can flip Mary the bird, but from the look in her eyes, her friend has already spotted something new. “Got his number already, did you?”
–
Baby Brain - June 15, 2016
“I think I’m pregnant,” says Lily, so quietly that James almost doesn’t hear it.
“Oh.”
“Oh?” she repeats, turning over in bed to face him. “I tell you I might be up the spout and all I get is, ‘Oh?’”
James grins at her in the dark. “Would you have preferred ‘Blimey?’” He expects the pillow that’s aimed at his face.
“James.”
“Yes, dear?”
“Would you be okay with it? If I am?” It’s hard to see her eyes clearly with such little light, but James can hear in her tone that she’s nervous.
“I… Yeah, I would,” says James, seeking out her hand. “You know I want kids with you. I mean, I might not have seen this starting so soon, but I think we’re pretty great at improvising. Remember our wedding reception?”
Lily laughs. “Somehow I don’t think using Dumbledore’s hat to catch projectile vomit is the same thing as raising a child.”
“I think you’ll find they’re remarkably similar.”
She laughs again. “I’m trying to work myself into a worry, James, and you’re making it very difficult.”
He leans over to kiss her on the cheek. “Sorry, dear. Feel free to treat our child as a sign of impending doom.”
Lily leans her head onto his shoulder. “We’re nineteen, James.”
“Old enough to be married,” he replies, poking her with his ring finger.
“We don’t know anything about children.”
James smiles. “Children don’t know anything either, so we’ll be on a level playing field.”
–
(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ Hold My Flower - August 17, 2016
“Lily, no.”
She scoffs. “What do you mean, ‘Lily, no?’ I didn’t say anything.”
“Lily,” he says cheerfully, throwing an arm around her shoulder, “We have been married for forty-five years now—”
“Dating for eight months,” she corrects, holding back a smile.
James waves a hand dismissively. “So, in that time, I am confident that I’ve grown to recognize what your faces mean. And that face said, ‘I’m going to put frogspawn in his tea.’”
“I don’t carry around frogspawn, James.”
He looks at her dubiously. “But you’d find some, wouldn’t you?”
–
Countdown - October 31, 2016
“Padfoot gets back from his assignment tomorrow,” Lily tells him, eyes on their calendar.
James pauses in trying to convince his son of the merits of pureed beets. His eyes drift towards the day on the calendar circled in red. Lately, they’ve taken to marking their calendar with the events of their day, if only to make the days seem more distinct. August 27th: ‘At 3 o’clock, Harry said his first full sentence.’ September 12th: ‘At 6 in the morning, the cat brought James a present and left it in his mouth.’ Tomorrow, October 31st, is a rare date that marks the future.
“Good,” he says. “I was hoping he’d be back before his birthday.”
A small, hopeful smile blooms on her lips. “Perhaps we can finally give him a nice celebration. I know Moony is still underground, but Wormy said he’d stay close by. I could bake him a cake.”
“Cake!” says Harry, and James laughs. He takes advantage of his boy’s opened-mouth enthusiasm to give him a spoonful of beets. The look he receives is nothing short of betrayed.
Victorious and still chuckling, James turns back to his wife. “We can ask him to come by as soon as he’s home.”
–
Baby I’m Trying: The Sequel Pt. 1 - Jan 4, 2017
He wishes his mum were still around, but since she’s not, in his desperation, James consults his neighbour, Batty Bagshot. Though she’s had no children of her own, she’s looked after many of her nieces and nephews over the years, and James has never been more thankful to hear her drone on.
After his conversation with Bathilda, he comes home, arms laden with all the supplies she recommended he find. Sirius’s eyes are wide as James brings the load inside the flat. “Reckon you got enough?”
James slumps over to the floor and leans his head on the pram. “This stuff is only for the first six months,” he says, staring into space. “Do you knowhow many times a day a baby needs formula? D’you think McGonagall will let me take the baby to class?”
Sirius considers it. “McGonagall does let her cat into the lectures. Although,” he says, wrinkling his nose and holding the baby out to James, “she knows how to use a litter box.”
James wonders if it’s pathetic to google ‘How to change a nappy.’
–
Baby I’m Trying: The Sequel Pt. 2 - Jan 4, 2017
In three days, James has a paper documenting that the baby is one hundred percent, undeniably his. He hadn’t doubted that he was, but it’s something different to see it on paper. It makes the whole thing more real for him. He sets about telling the rest of his friends, and while they are as surprised as he is, they take it in stride and help him sort it out, as they’ve always done.
“What are you going to name him?” asks Remus.
“Wilberforce,” suggests Sirius, grinning.
James cracks a smile at that. “Maybe something unisex. Elvendork?”
“You’ll have no trouble calling out for him if you ever lose him,” says Peter fairly.
James laughs. The baby fusses a bit in his arms and he runs a hand over the dark mass of hair that is already on this boy’s head. “Could go with a family name,” James says thoughtfully.
“I’m going to take a moment to remind you that your father’s name was Fleamont,” says Remus.
He shakes his head. “My grandfather,” James says.
None of the boys know much about his grandfather, since he died while James was still in primary school, but Sirius lived with his parents for a time, and he knows James better than anyone else. So it is Sirius who asks, “Henry?”
“Harry,” corrects James. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but the baby stops squirming. “His name was Henry, but they called him Harry.”
“Harry Potter,” says Peter. “I like it.”
His son has a name. “Harry Potter,” James repeats quietly.
–
Ring Out - June 15, 2017
“Frank and Alice are engaged,” Sirius tells him as he slides a drink to James across the table.
James lifts the pint into the air. “Congratulations to them,” he says, and he means it. He knows many couples rushing to the altar these days, but Alice and Frank seem the best-suited for marriage of all of them. He takes a large swig of his firewhiskey.
Sirius raises an eyebrow. It takes no more than this movement for James to know what he will say next. Still, Sirius asks, “When are you going to ask her?”
“What, you reckon because everyone else we know is getting married, I ought to as well?” James asks, mirroring his friend’s expression.
Sirius snorts. “No, I reckon that you’re horrendously in love with Evans and want to ask her to be your wife.”
James takes another drink. “We’re in the middle of a war, Padfoot.”
“Seems to be reason enough for everyone else,” Sirius counters, shrugging.
“Exactly,” says James firmly. “I don’t want Lily to marry me because she’s afraid we’re doing to die.”
Sirius pauses, reaching for his own firewhiskey. After a moment, he lowers his glass and shrugs once more. “We might.”
“We might not.” James retorts. He runs a hand through his hair. “I’d rather wait for her to be certain.”
“You’re living together,“ Sirius says, and when James opens his mouth he shakes his head. “You say you live with me but you spend more time at Lily’s than you do at ours.”
James chuckles. “So your concern is that we’re living in sin? Talk about glass houses, mate.”
I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
-sirius black
sirius for president.
I feel like everyone on this app who’s of legal voting age should start a campaign for Sirius Black as president, and just be like “he’s camera shy” when there are no pictures of him and actually get people to support him and then be like “you all just picked a fictional character over actual politicians. Fix yourselves”
i know that this is a pretty basic one but i absolutely adore aaron taylor-johnson and think he’s incredibly adorable and handsome. plus if you ever want to write him as surviving there’s source material (because he gets even more sexy and handsome as he gets older)
regulus black x timothee chalamet
timothee is adorable and perfect for reggie (even though the person that i pick for sirius is younger than him). these are the only two popular fancast for these characters so good luck for the rest and i hope you can see my vision i guess
sirius black x deaken bluman
before i say anything just look at the hair. look at the material. plus he can give off rich bitch vibes and chaotic rule breaker (he is only one month younger than timothee though so i won’t really mind it i guess). plus the dude is drop dead gorgeous. come on now! (sn, i just looked it up and he’s actually only six days younger than timothee. six!)
remus lupin x matt hitt
okay ik ik i truly was considering andrew garfield and i would’ve used him but i honestly wanted a people that looked much younger (don’t bring up aaron okay). although both are in their thirties now i think matt encapsulated that remus john lupin energy that we all know and love. plus i’m this picture we can say he’s wearing sirius’ jacket. and matt is the oldest out of the six and remus definitely has an aged look.
peter pettigrew x lucas hedges
i loved lucas in boy erased and ben is back. i was contemplating fionn oshea but i thought that lucas just exudes that quiet but smart and timid friend energy. plus i’d love to hug lucas (although i would never let peter touch me).
lily evans x nora mac
before i begin plus sized lily! idc what you have to say and i don’t want to hear any of your fatphobia. nora just seems like the person that would give the best hugs and lils is obviously an amazing hugger. she seems like she also has the best snacks and could just give you endless love (especially for those like remus). also her hair is gorgeous. so yeah
hear me out but i think paper rings would be the perfect song for james and regulus
the moon is high, like your friends were the night that we first met
now i guess you could say that it’s not the night that they first met but it’s probably the night they realized they had feelings for each other. i feel like james, sirius, remus and peter get high on their free time so that lyrics would definitely make sense. plus more interpretation… moony - the moon
went home and tried to stalk you on the internet
this definitely is about reggie. i definitely think that he’d probably try to learn everything about james even though he pretends not to be madly in love with him
now i’ve read all of the books beside your bed
this one is kind of simple. regulus reads every book beside his bed (although they probably belong to remus).
Drabble: James notices Y/N’s started wearing glasses and finds himself a little bit distracted.
James, as usual, couldn’t seem to stop going on about Lily. Even on this warm, Friday afternoon, as he and his friends walk through the corridors, looking for something to do, he rambles on.
“We get it, James,” Remus chuckles, “we’ve heard this about a billion times.”
“I would say this specific spiel is more like half a billion,” Sirius chuckles, slinging his arm over James’ shoulder as he nudges him, “he has a wide range of Lily-related topics he likes to bore us with after all,” Sirius laughs.
James pushes Sirius off of him, “I’m in love ok, let me be.”
“Ever one for the dramatics, prongs,” Remus chides, laughing along with Sirius.
Peter, dragging on behind them pipes up finally, “why are we just wandering around? I’m bored.”
Looking back at the whining boy Sirius rolls his eyes, “go find something to do then. We’re not here to put on a show.”
Peter huffs and turns away, starting to lag behind the group once again.
“Hey Y/N,” he yells suddenly, running off and out into the courtyard, over to where their friend is sitting reading a textbook. They look up and smile at the boy running towards them.
James feels his jaw drop without him even realising, looking over at their friend talking to Peter, admiring them. The way their legs cross over each other, the way they run their hand through their hair to smooth it out, the way they lean back and laugh at something Peter said.
And to top it off, those glasses. Oh, those glasses. James has never seen them wear them before, but the frames sit perfectly on their nose, framing their face, and for some reason, James can’t help but stare as his mind wanders.
Not for the first time he thought about kissing Y/N, laughing as his own glasses bump theirs as they lean in, imagining those beautiful eyes looking up at him, magnified by the lenses.
He’s yanked back into reality by a hand pulling at the back of his collar, turning to see himself centimeters away from a brick wall in front of him.
“Merlin mate, watch where you’re walking.”
He can’t even focus on Sirius’s comment, all he can bring himself to do is turn back to watch Y/N talk, marveling at the way they take their glasses off and rest them on top of their head.
“Ms L/N, I have an inquiry and would like to be let in.” He gave 'that’ look with his sparkling eyes.
Oh, but you knew that look all too well. It was the same look he gave you when you played a prank on Barty Crouch Jr. and he wanted information out of you.
“No. Say it now” you were not budging this time.
No one ever spoke to the old Professor that way and it was clear to see. He looked slightly alarmed but gathered his usual composure quickly.
“I want you for the Defence Against the Dark Arts Position and Hogwarts.” He still gave you his warm attitude.
You took several moments.
You had all this success and Fame… Why should you leave a relationship? The relationship in which for a fact you knew he was sleeping with other women… But your career, where most of your job was done because you did such a good job at your job… The Dog… That you were thinking of getting.
'Why am I staying?’ You questioned.
“September First I’ll start I suppose. And I want a big office none of those shitty corner offices… And I want a higher pay than the rest of the” you stated your wants clearly to the professor.
“Done and Done… Professor L/N” He smiled.
“Thank you… Sir” you shook his hand and quickly shut the door. With your back leaning against the closed door… For the first time in eleven years, you began crying. You mourned for the eleven years you spent without your boys. The life you could have had.
After a good half, an hour of crying you composed yourself.
It was August 30th 1995. Albus was a little late with the offer you had to say. But… A little part of you was excited. Life was slowly getting better.
Your bag had been packed for years now. That should have been the first sign to leave. But you were scared like always. You wrote a quick note to your boyfriend saying your goodbye and telling him how to sort all your affairs.
You left the apartment you have had for a decade. A decade of wasted useless memories… If you could even call them that.
The Leaky Cauldron is where you decided to reside. It was where you spent a lot of your teenage years with your ex-boyfriends.
Tom the owner recognised you immediately not for your fame but from when you were younger. It was a nice refresher.
Unfortunately the Jet Lag really got to you and you ended up sleeping for 36 hours. You were late for the grand feast at Hogwarts.
The feast started at 7:00 pm it was now 7:15 pm.
“Shit. Shit. Shit” you began quickly getting dressed and putting on your make-up with very useful enchantments.
You quickly grabbed your two suitcases and ran down the rickety old stairs.
“Bye Ms L/N” Tom the Owner gave you his famous welcoming smile.
“Nice seeing you Tom” you waved goodbye and quickly hopped into the fireplace and floo* away.
You arrived just outside the great hall where Filch was with his scrawny little cat.
'That Thing is still alive" You thought.
“Hey Filch” you gave him you cheeky grin.
“No, Not you it’s bad enough with the others” He snapped.
“Others?” You mumbled to yourself.
“Anyways, would you kindly take my luggage up to my room” You gave him a darling smile “and if you even try to open it will bite”
He grumbled and snatched the two cases off you.
You began making your way to the entranceway to the great hall when you heard a distant 'ouch’ from Filch. You chuckled to yourself knowing you still got it.
The doors were closed meaning you were going to have to make a dramatic entrance and not a quiet one like you hoped. You quickly took out your wand and swung the doors open with power.
The students and staff were greeted with an enormity of wind from the doors and you.
You made your way in boots clicking on the floor.
The hall was silent all eyes were on you.
Then there was a “HOLY FUCK THAT’S Y/N L/N THE AUROR” and the hall erupted into chatter.
Then you saw them. Remus, James and Sirius. Looking at you with mixed emotions of Shook, Anger and Sadness.
You greeted Dumbledore and he showed you your seat right beside Hagrid and… Remus.
’Fuck’
You promptly sat down not even acknowledging the werewolf beside you who was staring at you with all his might.
The chattering was still going on to which Dumbledore shouted 'SILENCE’.
Boom. The hall was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
“Now, Professor L/N is going to be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher so I think we should give her a proper welcome”
The whole hall erupted into applause but you didn’t stand up. You were used to standing ovations this was nothing you were not really bothered.
The clapping quietened down and everyone went back to their meals.
Hagrid made light conversation with you and offered you food around five times but you could!’t eat you felt sick with them around.
They all took turns glaring daggers at you.
You just remained staring at your lap the whole time.
“Erm Y/N-” Remus’ soft voice started.
You quickly got up from your chair,
“I think I am going to retire for the night, Goodnight Professor Hagrid” he nodded to you with a concerned smile and you quickly got up and left the room.
It was the next day and you started your first lesson with First Years. They were all scared and new so it was easy to get things done and it was a quiet class. Next was a set of Fifth Years in which you threatened maybe too harshly so they were quiet for the rest of the lesson.
Now it was third years.
They were all filing in and about to sit down.
“Don’t sit down” you said flatly.
“Assort yourself Alphabetically statting with A’s at the front”. It took about three minutes for everyone to get into their seats which took a bit of shouting from you to get them to move faster.
You then went through the role.
“Pansy Parkinson”. “ Here, Professor”
“Parvarti Patil” “Here”
“Harry…”
'What the actual Fuck… THEY PROCREATED’ Your mind was racing.
There it read 'Potter-Lupin-Black’. This was going to be shit.
“Harry Potter-Lupin-Black” you repeated stiffly.
“H-here Professor” “Don’t Stutter. It lets your opponents know you’re scared” you gave him 'the look’.
He gulped and looked down.
You got on with the role and class began.
“So, what defensive spells do you know?” You asked.
No one put their hand up.
“Did you learn anything in the past 2 years?” You snapped in and the students all jumped.
A girl with curly brown hair put her hand up.
“Yes?” You questioned.
“Eh s-stu-”
“Don’t stutter” you cut her off.
She quickly composed herself not looking you in the eye.
“Stupify,” she said more confidently.
“Name?”
“Hermione Granger,” she said quickly still refusing to look you in the eye.
“Next?” You questioned.
Then the one you knew to be Harry put up his hand. There was no questioning that he was James’ son, He looked almost identical… Except for the eyes. You have seen them somewhere but you couldn’t put your finger on it.
“Go”
“The disarming spell,” he said proudly.
“And it’s name?” You questioned.
“Expelliarmus”
“Okay, any others?” You quickly moved off from him.
No one out their hand up.
“Are you serious? Does anyone know anything? Merlin’s saggy balls. Who was your teacher?” You wondered how they knew absolutely nothing.
“Eh… Professor Lockhart” a girl told you.
“That dumbass? No wonder?” You rolled your eyes.
“I think expelliarmus works quite well” Harry said.
“What?” You asked him
“It does is a really good spell… Do we need much more?” The boy questioned pathetically.
“Oh I’m sorry”
“What?” He asked looking confused.
“I’m sorry. Why don’t you get up here and teach the class? You seem to know quite a lot about disarming spells Mr Potter-Lupin-Black. I didn’t mean to impose on your magical ability.” You were harsh but it was necessary.
“I eh- erm”
“What did I say about stuttering?” You snapped “It seems the great Harry Potter-Lupin-Black thinks one can get through life by simply snatching someone’s wand! Believe me Harry there are much worse ways someone can threaten you without a wand. Ways your mindless brain couldn’t even comprehend. Do you think I got where I am today by simply disarming someone Potter?” You were now leaning over the poor boy giving him daggers.
“No… And it’s Potter-Lupin-Black” he looked down shamefully.
“It’s Potter in this class. And don’t you dare correct me again.” The class was in terror and the boy was shaking.
“Give me your wand Potter” you held your hand out to take it from him.
’“But prof-” he started to whine.
“Looks like your precious disarming spell might come in handy Potter. Give me the fucking wand” He quickly put the wand in your hand and you placed it on your desk
“You shall not get this back until you write a list of every defensive spell you can find in your textbook and library and write them all down with what their purpose is and the motion used. All of you will do it and it should be on my desk, next class” The class collectively groaned.
“Class is dismissed for the day” you waved them off.
“But professor the bell has not rung yet” the Granger girl said.
“I am the professor and what I say goes. Now, leave all of you!” You sort of shouted the kast bit and they all scattered out the class room.
It was dinner time but you decided to skip out and start writing. You were writing a book on all your best wizarding battles in America.
You were sitting at your desk with the dim candlelight shining on your face accentuating your featured and Suddenly your door burst open with the three men you knew more than yourself came in.
You didn’t look up and kept writing.
“Threatening Our Son now L N” James snarled.
“Would have been nice of you to knock” you smirked to yourself still not giving them your full attention.
“Oh cut the crap L/N, You’re not impressing anyone” Sirius’s infamous voice rang in your ears.
“Wasn’t trying to, I think I am enough for all my adoring fans” you finally looked up at them and gave them a cheeky grin.
They hadn’t changed much in eleven years.
The three men stood there looking very tall and assertive.
Most of Remus’ scars had faded there were just one or two new ones. You knew every single scar on his body since you used to kiss each one after a full moon. He had some dark eyebags which wasn’t surprising since the full moon was only 2 days away.
Sirius had grown a beard which made him look older, mature and sexier. His eyes were still the same mysterious grey colour that at times you couldn’t stop looking at them. They consumed you.
James was still buff from quidditch. His hair was no longer as messy and as unruly as you remembered. He still had a mischievous glint in his eyes and smile lines embedded in his face from his famous 'Potter Smirk’ as Marlene McKinnon used to refer to it.
“See you’re still sitting on your fat ego” James smirked.
“Oh don’t worry Potter, couldn’t nearly compare to yours. Looks like you still have two bitches kissing your ass every night” you smiled which seemed to infuriate the three men more.
“Give me Harry’s wand” Remus spoke up in an angered tone.
“Oh no the big bad wolf is mad. Oh Please Remus don’t blow my house down after all I’m just an innocent little girl” you teased.
Sirius looked like he was about to pounce.
“Easy there mutt don’t want to go barking up the wrong tree, do we?” You were having the time of your life.
“We are all adults we can remain civil” James tried to calm the room.
“Not to worry Jamsie I won’t do nothing… Just having a little fun”
“Seemed to be having a lot of fun being a bitter bitch to my son? Jealous L/N” Sirius questioned.
“Your son can’t even rub two brain cells together to come up with a better spell than expelliarmus” you snorted.
“Typical L/N ignoring the question. I asked if you were jealous? Huh L/N. Oh I get it she’s scared again” You quickly pulled your wand out and pointed it right at him.
James and Remus quickly pulled out their’s.
“Say it fucking again Black. I dare you. I could do things that not even Grindlewald could fathom” you seethed.
“Look at you again. Putting up all these walls cause your scared. You act all tough with your top Auror position but deep down you are a scared little Bitch” He smirked.
“And you don’t fo the same thing Black? Hows Mummy?” You snarled.
“Okay, what crawled up your bitter arse and died?” He shouted.
“YOUR FUCKING CHILD” you screamed back and immediately realised what you said and clamped your hand over your mouth and gasped.
You couldn’t believe what you just said.
The room went deadly silent.
It was terrifying.
Then there was a burst of laughter from Remus.
Followed by the two other men.
You started laughing as well.
For the first time in years, you had a proper laugh.
The laughing went on for a good minute until it died down to a few chuckles. You were all wiping the tears from your eyes.
“Fucking hell” James sighed still laughing a little.
The room was in comfortable silence for a few moments.
“You are right” you admitted.
“What?” They all questioned at the same time.
“I am scared. I’ve been scared for the last thirteen years. I was scared for a child… Then I left and was scared to leave my stupid boyfriend and I am scared to face you.” You hated to admit it but ur was true.
“I’m sorry. Truly I am I don’t regret what I did though. I don’t want children. Never have and never will. I do regret leaving you though. But then at the same time, I don’t because I think you could have fought harder to find me. But you didn’t” you had tears in your eyes threatening to spill.
“It was better that you left anyways” Sirius said.
You knew what he was going to say the one thing you didn’t want to them to say but it was gojng to happen.
“We were cheating on you” There it was.
Deep down you knew it all along.
“How is Lily doing?” You asked. It was Lily it had always been Lily. They loved her first and she would always be first. The girl with emerald green eyes and flaming red hair. They told you not to worry about her but you knew and you were right. No matter who you were you would always be the second choice. Because why choose Y/N L/N when they can have Lily Evans.
“How di-”
“Wha-”
“This was a mistake” you stood up from your desk and walked to your room. You grabbed your suitcases not been unpacked yet. And grabbed your book from the desk.
“Tell Dumbledore I am sorry but something else came up” you stated flatley.
“Y/N-” Remus started but you cut him off.
“I refuse to be second choice again not with you or this job. He wanted you first and you refused… For the first time in my life, I’m not going to be second… Goodbye, My Loves, I’m sorry” With that you stepped into the fireplace and vanished in the flames.
Harry came into the Potter-Lupin-Black household holding a book in his hand.
“Hey Look what I found in the Muggle Book shop” Harry came in and showed his three fathers.
It was a light lilac book, average size with gold accents.
On the cover, it read 'to my first choice, from your second - Y/N L/N’
I’M BACK LOVES!!!
sorry I went M.I.A. I am studying A lot because I have a Big Exam in June so yk. Also, I’m a lazy Bitch. Anyways you can now stop your enquiring about when will Part Two be out. It’s here now also on April Fool’s Day it’s not a joke though I promise. Also Happy Birthday to the Weasley Twins who are both very alive and well. Sorry for the like Year-long wait.
