You’d spent the entire day flitting between your lovers
Riling each of them up in the way you knew would affect them the most.
You pitted Jin and Jungkook against each other for your affection
You’d spent the better part of the afternoon “subconsciously” stroking Namjoon’s thighs.
You made direct eye contact with Hobi and completely ignored every one of Jimin’s attempts to gain your attention.
You lead Tae on as you ate ice cream while he was working out.
Everything went wrong when you attempted to play with Yoongi.
Really you should know better by now, the rapper doesn’t take too kindly to teasing.
You’d asked him to show you what he was working on.
But instead of sitting still and listening like a good girl, you’d sat in his lap and wriggled.
He’d ignored you to start with, going through the motions of showing you his work.
Unsatisfied with his reaction, you’d leaned back into his shouldered and moaned as if every weight in the world had been lifted off of your shoulders.
You rolled your back against his chest and sighed against his ear.
His hands froze on the keys, and you smiled to yourself, content.
You had intended to take yourself off to hide then, let one (or more) of them find you later to make up for your games.
But Yoongi didn’t let you stand when you tried.
He slapped down on your thigh and held you in place.
You looked at him as innocently as you could manage, seemingly confused.
He didn’t buy it for a second.
“I don’t like naughty girls Y/N.” He stated matter of factly.
He allowed you up, a hand holding your wrist to keep you from running.
“You are going to apologise to each of the boys for distracting them today, but first you’re going to make it up to me.”
You nodded, the tone in his voice warning you not to argue.
“Bedroom princess, Now.” It was barely above a whisper, but it was filled with the authority of a king.
You scurried along to his and Jin’s shared room and sat on the edge of their double bed.
He walked leisurely behind.
Bringing you to now…
He has had a vibrator attached to your clit for 20 minutes now as his fingers play with your holes.
Your hands are cuffed to the headboard with a towel lain out beneath you…
He’d made that mistake before and didn’t fancy Jin’s disapproval all over again.
You were leaking all over his fingers.
Dripping onto the towel.
Making quite the mess of yourself.
It feels too good.
But it is a punishment after all.
Each time you have gotten close Yoongi has changed the vibration pattern and stolen your orgasm away.
He kisses you softly every time.
A sweet gesture from the outside.
A known gloat to those that know him.
He gets off on the fact that you can’t, not without his say so.
The ultimate control.
He dips his head between your legs licking at the slick.
Partially to clean you up, partially to tease you more.
There is no pressure behind his motions, but the promise of his tongue is just so close.
He kisses you again when you are clean.
Pushes his tongue covered in your own juices into your mouth for you to taste.
He stretches his fingers inside of your asshole one more time before pulling back, the thumb inside of your pussy leaving too, making you feel empty.
The vibrator stops and he wipes the remaining dampness off of your legs.
You moan, overstimulated and unsatisfied all in one.
“Aw pretty sounds baby… maybe I should sample you on that track that’s now laying unfinished… a little like you.” He chuckles as he undoes your cuffs.”
You rub at your cuffs and sit up, making sure to flash him your best pout as you do.
“Apologise to the rest of the boys… however they want you and then I’ll finish you off princess.”
Your eyes light up at the permission.
It’ll be easy to get one of the others to finish you off.
“And I’ve already texted them to tell you no.”
His gummy grin is in complete opposition to his evil words.
You sigh a roll your eyes.
“I don’t have to finish you off at all today you know?”
“Sorry, I’ll be good, I’ll go find the others right now!” You launch forward and kiss him on the lips before sprinting from the room to track down your first apology.
BTS Reaction to your pregnancy test finally coming back positive.
Warning: Vomit (Morning sickness)
Namjoon
He waits anxiously in the living room as you take the test, wringing his hands.
When you don’t come out after 15 minutes he starts to worry and goes to find you
You’re sobbing on the floor when he walks in
Immediately he is at your side telling you it’ll be okay you can try again
You’re crying too hard to tell him, so you hand him the test and he freezes his soothing motions
Tears well in his eyes as you watch for his reaction
Suddenly you’re being lifted off the floor and carried towards your bedroom he lays you down carefully, but he doesn’t let go.
His hands trail down your sides and lift the hem of your shirt.
He leans down and presses hundreds of kisses into your tummy as you giggle, trying to wriggle away from your husband’s affectionate assaults
Seokjin
You find out while he is on tour
There’s only a month left so you don’t tell him
He would only want to fly home immediately and there’s nothing for him to do yet
Hiding from him is torture when he checks in everyday and all you want is to spill the secret and see the joy on his face of finally…
But you know it’ll be worth it
He comes home to string flower petals leading to your closed bedroom door
He opens it to find a tray of goodies laying out for him and a jewellery box with a note that says ‘find me waiting in the bathroom’
He doesn’t open the box too eager to see you after so long he takes the box and heads straight for you
He is more than confused to find you sat on the closed toilet lid in a fluffy bathrobe instead of in a bubble bath like he was usually greeted with
You roll your eyes and gesture to the unopened box he still looks very confused at the little white stick displayed under new cufflinks that read “daddy”
Eventually you just stand letting the robe fall to display your rounding belly.
The shock finally hits him, and he sweeps you into his arms, cradling you close with one arm, the other hand on your stomach.
Yoongi
You are out shopping with your little boy
Daddies black card burning a hole in your pocket as you treat the birthday boy
You’d just finished lunch when the overwhelming urge to vomit hit
The next three days you struggled to keep anything down
Yoongi eventually convinces you to go to the hospital even though you think he’s being a bit dramatic for a stomach bug.
The news you are six weeks pregnant hits you like a truck after what the doctors told you last time
It’s one of the few times Yoongi lets you see him cry off stage.
Hoseok
It’s a joke when he says “maybe you’re pregnant” after developing a weird craving for spray cheese on salt and vinegar crisps
This wasn’t even that weird
You laughed
It’s not exactly out of character for you to try weird food combos
Except spray cheese is disgusting
You still feel a little silly when you go out to buy the test
Lo and behold the little plus mark appears and you are left in shock
Fully on autopilot you walk into your kitchen test in hand
Hobi looks up confused, glancing at your outstretched hands and makes one of those noises only he can
He sweeps you off your feet and dances you around the kitchen pulling you out of your shellshock.
Jimin
You’d never seen someone so excited yet so close to an obvious breakdown
There are 30 swatches of paint on the wall of the spare room by the end of the week
Trying to remind him that if there is still 32 weeks to go does not slow down the process
He enlists the boys while they have time off because he is worried he won’t be around to help as much when their schedules pick up again
Every detail is run by you before it’s placed in the nursery
And he has a baby shower party planned long before your second scan.
Taehyung
The moment the at home test comes back positive Tae has booked you in for a hospital scan
You sit in the private hospital room twitching as you wait for the ultrasound technician to come in
Taehyung squeezes your hands reassuring you after so many negatives and false starts
This time feels different though
Eventually the doctor comes in and you lie back ignoring the discomfort that comes with a transvaginal ultrasound
It was early on and you needed to be sure
The doctor’s brows furrow and you steal your nerves for the news that it was another false alarm
“Are you prepared for the possibility of multiple births?”
Taehyung can’t contain his excitement head whipping to look at your pale complexion
The doctor doesn’t get to say triplets before you’ve blacked out
You thought you were around 12 weeks and starting to show
Nope! Six weeks and very bloated
Jungkook
Five nights into your private luxury yacht honeymoon you are vomiting over the side of the rails while your very confused half naked husband watches on
You’re taken to the doctor at the next port
You laugh when he suggests pregnancy you’ve only been off birth control for a month now
Everyone said it would take forever and you’d already waited for so long
Turns out the universe just didn’t want you living in sin
They did several tests
Each positive
You do wish the little bean could have waited to make you sick when you weren’t living on a boat for a month
You cut the trip short
But JK already had you rebooked for six months after the due date for your first family holiday
You hadn’t meant to pry. The letter had just fallen out of his pocket when you picked up his coat to leave the studio. The letter that read baby with hearts all around it. You stared at the envelope for a long time deciding whether or not to open it. It’s not Yoongi’s handwriting, so there is no way it’s for you.
Before you get a chance to make your decision your boyfriend walks into the room.
“What have you got there babe?” he looks completely confused by the paper, but your mind has already had enough time to run through all possible origins of letter. It explained everything, the late nights, early mornings, he’s been pulling away. There is somebody else, and this is the proof. You throw the note at him, still unopened, and storm into the corridor. You hear him release an exasperated sigh before chasing after you.
“Stop running away from me would you.” His hand lands on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks.
“Give me one good reason why I should.” You refuse to look at him, shrugging free of his hold but not running away again yet…
“You didn’t even open it, you have no idea what this is… Don’t you trust me?” he sounds annoyed, but there is something more too it than that, he sounds betrayed. Like he has the right to be upset with you for this.
“A poorly hidden letter, covered in hearts and reeking of cheap perfume seems like a pretty conclusive reason not to!” You twist back on him in time to see him flinch. You rarely yell, not at him. You’re struggling to hold back the tears threatening to fall. He takes a minute to take you in. absolutely seething and ready to run, without even talking about the flimsy ‘evidence’ you’ve found.
“I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” His voice is small, barely loud enough for you to hear despite not being more than arms-width apart. Lack of trust is what made his last relationship fall apart, and you knew that. What’s worse is you used it against him.
“Maybe I’m starting to understand why she left…” it’s completely unnecessary. A way to hurt him like he was hurting you. You don’t know what you were expecting, an admission of guilt, for him to scream at you? Instead he just handed you the letter back and dropped his eyes to the floor. You peeled op the envelop and unfolded the paper
*Jungkook,
You were busy so I thought I’d leave you a note instead, I can’t wait to see you tonight.
Love you so much,
Eunji*
It wasn’t meant for him.
You stand in silence for a moment. Opening and closing your mouth trying to think of the words to say, the words that could fix this, but none came.
“What are you so afraid of?” His question catches you off guard. When you remain speechless, he meets your eyes and continues. “You are always looking for a way out. If you can’t trust me then tell me, because I don’t see a point in continuing a relationship where there is no trust, you can’t build a life on that Y/N.”
“I… I love you.” It’s a whisper, and it’s not enough.
“Love isn’t trust. And if it were really love this argument would’ve never happened. Maybe we should take a break? Decide where we really stand?”
“Wait no, please don’t.” You reach for his hand, but its futile. He pulls out of your reach.
“I’ll call you in a few weeks.” He takes one last look at you and heads back into the studio.
A collection of soft scenarios with each of the BTS boys
Namjoon:
Imagine spending the day in a botanical garden somewhere. The day is overcast, but still warm. You’ve gotten to wear your favourite sundress or shorts for the first time in ages. Namjoon walks just a little ahead of you excitedly talking you through plants he recognises. He spent a while researching the plants he’d find just to impress you. Anything he doesn’t know he reads on the little plaques. He spends a little longer lingering around flowers that look like they are about to bloom just in the hopes of seeing the buds unfurl.
You’ve packed a picnic for the two of you to enjoy. Little cakes and sandwiches, homemade lemonade, and a couple packets of crisp all wrapped neatly inside of a blanket so you don’t have to perch on itchy damp grass. You eat quickly and lie back to admire the sky above you, clouds shifting just enough to allow little slivers of blue to peak through. One arm rests behind his head, the other curled behind you as you lay on his chest.
A perfect moment interrupted by one of the gardens loose peacocks getting a little too curious. The bird kept inching closer the longer you lay and eventually you had to move in order to keep your distance. Joon rolls up the blanket and puts it away into a bag before taking your hand to continue your tour. The afternoon carries on much the same as this morning, except this time Namjoon holds you close as you admire the array of flora. As you leave through the gift shop, he can’t help but pick up a new exotic plant as a challenge for himself, as well as a ‘paint your own pot’ kit for the two of you to complete together later.
Jin:
Imagine attending a cocktail making class. He gets mockingly jealous as you watch the attractive host a little too closely for his liking. He jokes about it for the rest of the evening, feigning hurt feelings. Each drink the two of you make comes with varying degrees of success, but regardless of aesthetic execution they taste delicious.
You get tipsier with each cocktail you are taught 6 drinks in total, but anyone watching would’ve thought you’d doubled it. You descend into maddened laughter at each pun and innuendo Jin throws your way, much to the chagrin of the other guests, who seem to have avoided tasting all of their drinks, saving them for the end. However the two of you decided they were all just being boring.
As the class comes to an end you are offered the opportunity to buy the recipe book and all of the ingredients used. Jin does so with no hesitation with the intent to replicate the fun you’ve had somewhere a little more private…
Yoongi:
Imagine visiting the 'That That’ set and getting to make fun of him with Psy. Watching him go from a producer role to co-star. Giggling with Psy as you two suggest more and more ridiculous cowboy options for Yoongi to wear.
Yoongi giggling every take so they have to shoot multiple times. You not helping the situation when your laughter becomes the loudest amongst the crowd.
Him taking off his cowboy hat and giving it to you in between filming so he can claim you as his. He makes sure you get to keep that hat when they wrap because you’ve become so attached to it.
Hoseok:
Imagine the most chilled out evening of your life. Both of you in sweats and oversized jumpers on opposite ends of the sofa. Your legs outstretched, he sits on your feet to keep them warm. A bowl of snacks rest on your legs for you both to be able to reach.
He sets up a series you had been wanting to watch together but had never found the time before now. You’ve set aside the whole night just to binge watch your way through as much as possible. When the snacks run out, Hobi moves the bowl and slides down in to your lap instead. You remain stretched across the sofa but he has wiggled into the space between the back and your legs creating a nook for himself.
A cold hand snakes under your sweater and lays innocently on your bare stomach as the two of you continue to watch TV for the rest of the night, falling asleep at some point midway through.
Jimin:
Imagine going to pick Jimin up from a dance practice. He is working on a solo piece for the new album, similar to serendipity but it’s a faster piece. Still his movements are just as fluid, he doesn’t miss a beat as he follows the rhythm across the room, too caught up to notice that you’ve come in yet. All of the boys move well, but there is a liquid quality that is uniquely Jimin’s, a quality that shines when he gets to put all of his energy into his own piece.
He eventually catches your eye in the mirror with a look that suggests he know you were there. Still his effort somehow increases, each move crisper, smoother. He crosses the studio to you and takes your hands leading you clumsily through an unprepared partner performance to a beat you’ve only heard through headphones until now. It’s hard to focus on his body and his voice despite how badly you want to be truly absorbed by both.
He laughs as you stumble, catching you every time your feet fail to keep up with him. He twirls you around long after the song finishes, filling the silence by humming new melodies. The boys from TXT eventually shuffle in sheepishly to claim the space they rented and you and Jimin bow deeply in apology. He takes your hand and leads you from the room.
Taehyung:
Imagine going to paint a pot. You both choose animal shaped money boxes. The idea to create something to save for your future together, even if its more symbolic than practical with the amount of money he makes. You give yours an ethereal garden theme, tiny flowers and vines wrapping around fur patterns in varying shades of green. Taehyung goes a little more abstract.
He paints in primary colours only. The fox he chose is covered in blue and yellow tiger stripes over a fire red base. Something that by all means should be ugly, looks like a masterpiece in his hands.
Each figurine take pride of place in his home, on the shelf next to the TV where everyone can see his most treasured possessions.
Jungkook:
Imagine attending a trampoline park. Watching Jungkook attempt more and more impressive flips from high platforms into foam pits, only to have to help him escape the foamy clutches when he gets stuck from diving too deep.
The two of you would compete to see who could jump the highest, who can do the best flip off the wall, who could do the most swivels. Any game he and you can come up with is played until your calves ache from the effort. Until he plucks you from the air, pushing you into a foam pit.
You can barely avoid him as he tries to jump in top of you, pouting as he realises you moved. Spending time trying to catch your breathes by lying back in the pit and watching the other couples and kids bounce past for a little while.
When your whole world revolves around one boy, but destiny sets you with a unexpectedly expected man.
♡Pairing:Yoongi × reader ft. Jimin
♡Genre:brother’s friend, only old crush, heartbreak, college oc au.
♡Summary:you’re over him, a new world sets in front of you. But the heartbreak you both got at the same time is not what you have had thought of. It must be the destiny to set you with your only old crush Yoongi. But still you ain’t prepared for the third heartbreak in a row, what if he breaks your heart again?
♡Warnings:fluff, mild smut, angst, heartbreak, like flooded with tears, oc is so sweet, confusion, misunderstanding, crush , breakup, traitor, betrayal, brother’s bestfriend, roommate, college oc, angst shower smut, smokey, dirty talk, seokjin is oc’s brother, he’s a dick, yoongi is a Heartbreaker, jimin is also a dick, expectations ruined, one-shot.
♡Word limit:6.5k
♡Author’s note :besties, here’s the new fic of Yoongi. Spare sometime of your to read this piece of beauty and let me know if you guys need a part 2 and how much you loved it. Kindly apologizing for not editing it cause it’s already so late. Remember I always love you <3
“I’m done with you, dude.” You screamed at your brother and ran into your room. You have been mad at your brother since so long. You both never get along. Fights, quarrelling and being mad at each other is both of your favourite things. You never want to live with your brother during your college years but only for the sake of your parents you were there sharing apartments with your brother. If you get any chance you would change your apartment.
“Stop overreacting, I’ll be home till night. Enjoy yourself.” Your brother said slamming your door. He was never in the house, always out there having fun with girls, alcohol and money. This is what he called life and you totally were different from him. You’re more conserved, introverted and only allow certain people in your life. But here you’re happy that atleast the whole house is yours now. You can watch Disney weird fantasy movies or eat pineapple pizza without being judged. At night after he left for partying you ordered a big size pizza and started watching the saddest movies to cry.
At the mean time of your crying session, you heard a ding bell sound at the doorstep. It’s almost two at the morning and you were confused who’s now. But at your surprise it’s you brother walking inside the house with one more person just like him. You saw him, but he was head down walking inside but you guessed it right. In the black jacket it was Min Yoongi. Your brother’s friend or kind of used to be classmate. You have been seeing him from the starting years of college. And now you’re almost at the end of the year. The person right before seems sad and num. But it was not a surprising thing cause everytime you meet Yoongi he looks so sad and calm. No emotions can be read from his expression.
“I guess you’re too early to come home!” You glared at your brother who settled himself at the couch, beside him Yoongi takes his sit.
“None of your business, girl. And why are you up this late, huh? Again watching your weird fantasy movies.” Your brother hummed.
“Yo, bitch. Don’t interfere in my life. Just go, I’m in the middle of something.” You ranted.
“Y/n language! Haven’t you seen Yoongi sitting right here? A guest is in the house and you’re talking to me like this?” Your brother glared. Yoongi just scoffs still head down.
“Let me clear this to you. Yoongi’s girlfriend kicked him out of there shared apartment. So, for few days or weeks he’ll be here with us until or unless there fight get resolved.” He said.
“None of my business though.” You rolled your eyes still focussing on the television screen.
Yoongi in his deep voice “we soon gonna be together again. Thanks Seokjin for giving me shelter.” Both of the boys then straight up walked into the rooms and you were there ending the last scenes.
From the starting years living with your brother Seokjin, you always met with all his friends. Yoongi was also one of them. But he was the one whom you talked the most in his group circle. Yoongi seems so calm and intelligent to your eyes. He was also a good listener while a great adviser. You both added each other in every social media platforms you were present. You almost talked with him daily the past years. But the sudden change that developed in him was still unknown to you. You didn’t get what ghosted him but this past few months he randomly stopped talking to you. No in person talks, no messages or neither calls. He even blocked you from all his social medias. You thought he was mad at you for something but you never get it for what. You tried asking him what’s the matter of not talking or having no contact with you randomly. But he never answered it in a right way. Neither did you exaggerated the matter. As told you were very picky about the people in your life. If somebody don’t want to have contact with you then it’s his loss. You’re always there to help anyone and everyone you know.
The very next day, you were excited to meet with your new crush Jimin. He’s new to your campus for few months and you both became good friends with eachother. He seems so cool to your eyes. Never did you think of dating anyone from your college but if it’s about Jimin then you can’t say no to it. He’s kind and fun guy to goof around. But the thing that make your heart flutter was his flirty side. The way he acts like he’s in love with you with all his picky lines on you. You can’t denied that you liked it, really every much. Your heart always pound whenever he goes all flirty with you. But you also can’t deny the fact that he seems flirty with all the other girls in the campus. Kind of like the new fuck boy in the college. Sad for you that at last you did fall for the flirty kid.
“ Jimin! How’s your day going bub?” You yelled at Jimin who was standing there flirting with some other girls.
“Y/n beautiful! You’re becoming more beautiful day by day.” Jimin walk up to and said.
“Ahh you boy! Shut up. Any plan for this weekends?” You asked.
“As you know our college last year gonna end in this month. So, I’m quite busy.” Jimin sighed.
“Yeah, but I’m excited for our graduation day. But Jimin I’m gonna confess something before our graduation day to you.” You whispered in his ears.
“Oh-okay. What’s it about can I ask?” Jimin hesitantly said.
“Meet me at the basket ball court at evening in this weekend. Okay?” You excitedly said.
“I-i will be there. But if anything necessary then you can tell me now.” Jimin asked.
“Patience Jimin. Don’t forget to come.” You winked at him and walk straight up to your house.
You were really happy that finally after taking a whole one year you now gonna confess to Jimin. Your heart saying that he gonna accept you but your brain already shown you some red flags. But you just ignored it. After denying for so long, now your feelings for him was strong and directive. You can sense it. Before the end of the graduation day you decide to confess the feelings. As you believe in ‘if you like someone, let them know how you feel for them’ philosophy.
You open the door of your living room, at your surprise a whole shirtless Yoongi was sitting at the couch watching his favourite football. His dark strands of hair was wet and a towel was hanging at his shoulders. The track pants which he was wearing was quite unrecognisable as the only thing you concentrated was on his pale smooth white skin. You can’t deny his beauty. He was unknowingly beautiful. His cheek bones, cat eyes and gummy smile. At the sound of the door he quickly trail his eyes on you.
You screamed “dress up, you naked man.”
Yoongi just rolled his eyes on you and put on his shirt and said “I’m not even naked. Haven’t you seen a shirtless man before?”
“S-sorry sir! But I’m not habituated to see a whole naked man in my house everyday.” You hesitantly exaggerated your words and sit at the corner couch.
“Then get habituated.” He said with a straight face almost focused on the sports.
You don’t seem to reply at his last words. Your eyes trail down to find your brother, who was nowhere in the house. You already figured it out again that he had gone to somewhere as most of the time he was not home when you came back from college.
“Have you seen my brother?” You asked Yoongi.
“I don’t know might me out of the home.” Yoongi said. Your inner brain was screaming that you also know that when Seokjin was not at home he was probably out of the house. You sighed at his words.
Hearing your frustrated sound, Yoongi looked at you and goes like “you can watch now, I’m good at the room.” And he get up from the couch and walked towards the room.
“hey! Yaa! Stop, you can watch. I’m not frustrated because of you. Come here.” You yelled at him.
Yoongi calmly come and sit at the exact spot. You were constantly looking at him but he say no to eye contact. With his baby eyes he was looking at the screen. The surrounding filled with the whistle of football match. You don’t know what to say to him. You were still thinking of starting a conversation but you don’t know how. But you want to ask that person beside you that why he was ignoring the hell out of you. You missed him, you accepted. Before even catching those feelings we cuts you off. You already added him in your good relationship bucket list. But he tend to follow the opposite both. Your eyes are kind of stuck at him without even realising.
Yoongi scoffs “you can stop staring. I’m feeling uncomfortable.”
His deep voice fetch you to the reality and you stumbled “umm.. i-i was just. S-sorry, can we talk?”
For the first time Yoongi’s eyes lands on you. You both made an eye contact for mili second until or unless Yoongi broke it. He goes “for what? I think I should go.”
“This is what I’m talking. Why did you just cut me off from your life, Yoongi. I mean what’s happened suddenly you stop talking to me?” You sighed.
“Is I’m not talking to you now?” Yoongi glared at you.
“You also know what I’m talking. You blocked me from every social media handles. Even you didn’t replied my texts. Why are you mad at me, Yoongi?” You said with a worried face.
“I was quite distrub from the past months. Might be because of that. We’re good.” Yoongi cleared it.
“No, we ain’t. The past months you only ignored me. I saw you attending each and every party. And you’re looking quite happy at that time” Your voice raised.
“Tell me, why you want to talk to me? Why you need me? Why you can’t resist me? Is you’re feeling for me? Do you wanna have something with me?” Yoongi screamed some unusual questions which you never thought of.
The question stuck to your head. When he asked you all this, you also questioned yourself. Why actually you want to talk to him. You realise you’re expecting something from. But it was also right your heart carries some part of love for him at that time might be now too. But the way Yoongi yelled at you, you’re expecting that.
“Min, are you okay? Is everything good? I know you and your girlfriend have a fight going on and I know how you feel. But that doesn’t mean you would shout at me like that.” You sighed.
“No, I’m not okay, y/n. I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t understand my feelings right now. My girlfriend is cheating on me at one hand and at another my feelings are growing for someone else. It feels like I’m cheating. But I ain’t a cheater, y/n.” Yoongi broke down. His deep voice mixes with some tearing emotions but he tried hard to not express.
Yoongi feels like he was the cheater because of you. The truth is he really likes you. That he can’t resist to talk to you. That whenever he saw you, he wants to wrap you around his body. Even when he have a girlfriend, you filled him with joy. Even having someone to love, he need you to be in love. You make him go crazy. But he knows it’s all wrong. That catching feelings for someone else instead of having a girlfriend is wrong. So, the best solution he found was to cut you off. Only for this reason he stopped talking to you. You feels like a complete stranger to him.
Still it didn’t work. At the times he talked to you he always stay happy and focussed but after cutting you off he seems sad most of the time. Also he feels so frustrating at times and fight with anyone and everyone he saw. That’s also a reason that after stop talking to you he and his girlfriend have fight most of the time. And after a long series of fighting and quarrelling with each other, his relationship becomes toxic as hell. He wants to scape out of the place. So, he did. But destiny have different plans, after pushing you so far. Atlast he came back at your arms only. Now, he was sitting beside you. You’re trying your best to confront him.
“Min, calm down. I’m here. I’ll not abandoned you. Tell me everything.” You quitely whispered in his ears while talking his hands on yours. His cold hands fit yours and it felt good.
“Thanks y/n. Sorry for everything I did to you. I’m the worst. I broke your heart and I also cheated on my girlfriend. Even though I know she was cheating on me since so long.” Yoongi calmly put his each word.
“No, you’re best. She’s cheating on you first. And feeling for someone else doesn’t make you cheater, Min.” You confronted him.
“You don’t understand. Right now in my life, I want somebody to hold be tight, to love me like I do and to protect me. No one in this earth loves me.” Yoongi frustrated and smack the pillow beside him.
You can’t hold how sad and frustrated he was that time. You never have seen him in like. He was broke, totally broke. You glanced at him and hugged his huge posture which was unstable. But with presence of your hugging body it get calm and the huge body turns down to small. He completely fitted between your arms. You patted his back, he didn’t argued to back off from the hug neither did he hold you back. You were just there holding him and confronting him. Seeing him like this you also got broke.
“I’m here, Yoongi. See, I’m holding you, loving you and even confronting you. Don’t even say those words. I care for you.” You said calmly still holding him in your arms like a baby.
His cologne smells like you’re in a mountain and forest. With each time going you like wrapped him around. He quietly sitting like a baby.
“Remember if the relationship is getting toxic, calls it a off. And if you like someone else and your feelings are genuine then let the person know it. Tell her that how much you feel for her. I know you will.” You geniunely said. He back off from your hug and nodded it a yes.
“And what if the person seems so close to me that knowing I like her, she’ll be surprised. And she also broke my heart.” Yoongi asked.
“I promise she’ll not. Just be brave and tell her your feelings. Not all people are heartbreaker like you.” You giggled to calm the situation down.
“You aren’t a heart break, huh?” Yoongi asked and you laughed at him.
As the atmosphere becomes a little lighter Seokjin your brother walks inside the room. Unknowingly you were around Yoongi’s arms and he was half heartedly hugging you. As your brother entered you both sit apart acting like nothing happens.
You glared at him and shouted “where were you brat?”
Seokjiin narrowed his eyes “language! You don’t need to know that. But let me tell you, for the rest of this week days you have to be alone as I’m leaving for a business trip.”
You excitedly said “really? Thank god! I’ll have my alone time now.” You love to be alone and as said you hated your nosy brother.
Seokjiin frowned “hold on girl! Don’t ever dare to think of bringing your boyfriend Jimin at this house.”
He then looked at Yoongi and goes “Min, can you please have an eye on my little sister. Don’t let her bring any boy.” Yoongi nodded but with a confusing face.
The last time your brother was not home, you bring Jimin and some of his other friends in your house. And to be honest it was a disaster. Next day your house smells like a pond of alcohol and smoking junction. Unfortunately your brother comes home at the wrong time and see all of those. He even saw how Jimin flirted with you and from then onwards he hated him.
You yelled “he isn’t my boyfriend.” But you slowly whispered to yourself “but he’ll be soon.”
“It’s better if he’s not. That boy is a dick. If you ran around him like that he surely gonna break your heart. Cut him off from your life.” Seokjiin said as packing his stuff.
“None of your buisness, brat. Have fun weekends. Me and Yoongi will also have fun.” You laughed devilishly.
Seokjiin moved all his clothes and necessary things in his suitcase and you say a bye to him. Well, sometimes you love your brother in real. But most of the time you hate him because of him being correct always. As for now, he already predicted that Jimin gonna broke your heart but you know Jimin really very well. He’s a sweetheart in your eyes who is so soft to broke anyone’s heart. This time you gonna prove your brother wrong by confessing Jimin. Your guts were telling you that your doing something right and should go on.
You two were alone in a house full of rooms. But it didn’t feel different as Yoongi entered in his room as soon as Seokjin left and you all visited your room to complete graduation studys. You were quite pressurized for the day but happy that you gonna confess to Jimin tomorrow. A perfect proposal you dreamt of . Long basketball court where you and he will be standing all alone and some butterflies kicking in your stomach.
Here Yoongi in his room ingrossed into his long fluffy blanket. His mind was full of you. He can’t stop thinking about you. All he need is you and you. His heart was playing some sort of games to go in your room and kiss your lips. When you were hugging me in the couch his eyes were constantly trailing down to your lips. He can’t resist his desire to kiss on that peach soft lips that taste like berries. He already know how you’ll taste. Your fragrance, soft skin, long finger, smooth hairs drives him crazy. It’s not like he was attracted to you for the first time . Whenever you come nearer to him, he can sense his hormones bobbing out of his nerves. He liked you, he knows. The only thing that stopping him was his bothered self. He wasn’t sure if you also feel the same, but he knows you feel the exact same. Without resisting his desires he got straight up from the bed and walk up to yours.
You were strolling down your eyes within the gigantic piles of pages right before you. He peep through the door to see your face. Your hair strands lacking his view and your frustrated face increases his rage. He liked you, he can’t see you like this. He does a sigh sound closing his eyes, which shifted your attention. You were no longer interested in your books but the person peeping you through the door interests you more.
You calmly open the door and whispered in his hear “do you need something, Yoongi?”
He got shuttered to your cat voice and stumbled “umm.. y-no. Actually you look so frustrated!”
You does a small laugh and said “graduation studies! It’s frustrating.”
He nodded his head looking at the floor and then said “if you’re okay, then we can watch some movies?”
You frowned your eyes in a playful manner “i can’t say no to you but -”
Yoongi intreuppted you “no buts. Living room in 10.” He turned to his room.
You chuckled on his cuteness. Well, if Jimin didn’t entered your life then Yoongi have been the one you would die on. You liked him from the every first of your college days. You haven’t met anyone as calm and as loyal as him. But presence of his girlfriend broke you down. You don’t want to interfere in his relationship. But as for now, he was in a verge of breaking up with his girlfriend. If you still have that active Yoongi loving bone in your body then you would have said everything to him. But fate have different plans.
The couch was cozy, the room was dark with various beam of light from television echoes. Freash buttery popcorn lined by your side. You were half lying on the couch beside Yoongi who was calmly looking at the movie you choosed. For sure you have your own romantic taste in movies. And he can’t say no to you. You were stealing some glance of him in the name of watching movie. He’s ethereal. You again felt the same butterflies when you used to talk to him. Again the feelings were kicking your stomach. You are liking it. Your sudden urge to touch him filled your heart but your mind keep debating about Jimin.
“Yoongi!” Your soft voice echoes the background.
He looked at you but his eyes were on your peack lips “umm…?”
“Are you liking this movie? If not then we can change it.” You hesitantly said.
“Loving it so far. Romance is never my thing but you made it mine now.” Yoongi softly chuckled again stick his eyes to the screen. But the one thing you don’t know that his focus never shifted from you. He also sees how badly you want him but no one makes a move.
“Can you pass me the blanket, Min?” You again grapped his attention. He gently took the blanket and cover your legs and torso. You both were just centimetres away. You shifted a little close to him to feel the heat. He smiled at you.
“Thanks, Min. You want the blanket?” You asked nervously. Without any hesitation he unfold the whole blanket and cover both you. You gently smiled at him. There was a big silence echoing your heart. You want to make the move to kiss him, to touch him and to play with his hairs. And that was when stopped when you actually did while there was a kissing scene going on .
You gently grapped his thighs and rubbed it slowly. “It’s cold here.” You slowly yet seductively said.
“Umm! Yes!” He nodded and pressed his cold hands on your bare legs. He also does the same thing you did.
But soon his hands trail upward inside from your loose shorts. He’s circling inside your inner things. His finger nails form a line in your inner thigh. You were loving that feeling. As soon as you put your hands out of his thighs, he makes a unsatisfied sound.
“Umm?” You looked at him innocently with a devilish thought. Both of your eyes met at once.
“Can I kiss you?” You hesitantly asked.
As soon as you ended the sentence his lips are already on your neck. This smooth lips does a great job in your bare neck area. He was gently kissing , devilishly sucking and you were pleasantly moaning his name. He kissed your collar bone and your pale skin turns to violet in seconds. He pressed you in the couch and lean over you. But you want his lips on yours.
The moment was made for Yoongi, he slowly takes his time to respond each and every moans of your. His lips were playing with your skin. Happily sucking each corner of your neck. Soon the realisation stuck him and he was now concentrating on your lips. Took a few times to glance at your lips while massaging your hair with one hand. He pressed his lips on your sharp jaw line. You were enjoying ever bit of it.
'Jimin’ this name echoed in your brain. That few minutes you can’t proceed, before you it was Yoongi but your heart his on Jimin’s hand. You can’t betray him like this. You have a deep feeling for him. You thought you were doing wrong, it was wrong. You can’t sleep with anyone like this. The realisation make you push Yoongi so hard.
He was at a verge of kissing your lips but the sudden push was unexpected for him. He got shuttered and hold the other side of the couch. He looks at you in a awe. You were looking at him in a deep guilt. Your face was telling you that it was wrong.
“What’s happened?” Yoongi innocently asked and came forward to you.
“Don’t touch me! It’s wrong.” You yelled at him as you run towards your room.
You heard him shout at you for what’s the matter or why you suddenly reacted like that as you’re the one you wanted all of this. But blaming and treating him like that, he felt so miserable. He realised that you ain’t the random hook up for only one night but he carries deep feeling for you. He should be sorry, he was wrong he accepted. But reacting like that was so astonishing for him.
Yoongi pushed your door and shouted for you. But there you were lying senselessly at your bed. Your face was pale and heart with a heavy weigh of guilt. You shouldn’t act like a kid. You wanted all of that, you started it and not him. You were wrong, but you haven’t the courage to tell him why you did that to him. Maybe tomorrow, you can tell him that Jimin was all over your head that time.
“Yoongi, can I explain this to you tomorrow. Please, leave me alone.” You yelled at him across the door.
Yoongi sighed “sure, I also have something to explain you. I can wait.” And he sadly walked at his room.
The whole night Yoongi’s mind keep on thinking about you. He can’t any more relay his feelings to himself. He needs to tell you what he feels for you. That he don’t think you as a one time hook up but a forever home. He decides to tell you his genuine feelings tomorrow as soon as you’re good to talk to him.
Tomorrow arrives, your guilt was eaten you up badly. Without wasting your time you walked to Yoongi’s room. You already prepared your words what you will tell him. That you like Jimin and that you can’t break his trust. Also you should be sorry for the last night because you make a move first but you were also the same person who weirdly ran off without saying anything.
“Yoongi! Can we talk?” You said glancing at the floor that shows you felt guilty.
He was still on his bed half asleep, in his rapsy voice “are you okay?”
“Y-ye.. n-no. I’m not. I really felt so bad for last night.” You stumbled.
“It’s completely okay. Consent is more important than anything. But -” Yoongi got intreuppted by you.
“No, I want to do. I mean I’m sorry. There is a reason why I didn’t want to have anything now with you.” You slowly mumbled.
“I understand. I’m good, don’t worry.” Yoongi yawned. You felt everything goes back that it use to and you left for your college. But the midway of his room Yoongi called you again.
“Excuse me, if you’re not in a hurry can I tell you something?” Yoongi was no more a half dead human but his tone shifted to seriousness.
“Sure, anything important?”
“Well, let’s have a sit. It’s important for me.” You sat at the edge of his bed.
“Oh! You okay?”
“Something is really eating me up, I don’t know how to tell you but I think I really feel attached to you. You does feel home. Always I think about you. You keep buzzing inside my head. I feel for you… Deeply.” Yoongi patiencely confronted everything. His eyes were glancing at your bracelet as he is bad at making eye contact.
Your eyes were no longer want to hide but you without blinking looked at his pale fluffy face. He like you, he mean he really feel for you, in real. The topsy turvey land appears infront of you. Just right now, you were going to confront to Jimin about his feelings and before that someone else did to you. The heart inside knows that Yoongi never jokes around, he say what he feels. But he still didn’t broke up with his girlfriend and what about those days when he completely cuts you off. You remembered all of this.
“Oh! I-i … Are you serious? You never even want to talk to me. You ignored me, remember?” You ranted angrily.
“Yes, I do ignore you but you know what’s the reason? I feel attracted to you, I can’t resist to talk to you, I always think about you and your little things hurts me easily. But I don’t want to cheat on my ex girlfriend so I simply say a goodbye. Though after all these months you can see where I’m!” Yoongi put over his point nonchalantly.
“Ah! Yoongi? You did all these because of some unfelt feelings! At last you need to tell me. But this is too late. I already feel for someone else.” You nervously ended your words.
“I understand but don’t you also feel the same way at some point? Don’t you also feel attracted towards me?” He passionately glance at you, his high voice pitch echoes all through his room.
“What if I used to do? Now, things are changed.” You screamed.
“Nothing changed. You still have feelings for me. Or else you would not want to fuck me!” The total atmosphere shifted into a peeaceful procession. Yoongi ranted the words which are harsh and real. You do feel the same way he does, but what about Jimin. God have a sinful duty to only designated single soulmate to oneself. You feel for true and you ain’t a traitor.
“Don’t you also? What are you doing at your so called friends house cause your girlfriend kick you out. And middle of your break up you’re hitting on your friend’s sister. Also trying your level best to make her fall for you.” You calmly stated. But your neurons are burning inside.
“And she’s falling for me? Isn’t she?” Yoongi in the heat of the debate flirtatiously walked up to you.
“Yes, she did. But I know I’m not a traitor like you. Now fuck off. Also today I’m gonna confess to Jimin. Pray that he also likes me. Now, good bye.” You pushed Yoongi out of your sight and walk up to the main door.
“May Jimin and you never meet again.” Yoongi chuckled at his words. You only rolled your eyes and left for college.
Fall of the darkness after a heavy heart break take lots of sadness. That numb cold weather with a wreaking heart gives shivering pain in your wholesome heart. You didn’t expected that, you never thought that but initially it happened. He said the most cruel words you never even thought he would know. You cried for the last time he did said 'goodbye’ not with a smiling innocent face but with a smug showing he played with your feelings. The words ’ I’d never even thought of you around my arms’ was spitted by Jimin. He betrayed you. But the last line stuck to your soul 'do you think I would let you suck my dick, y/n? Haven’t you seen yourself! You’re a pity. Go find someone else to do this shit. Good bye’ and he smirkingly ended your beautiful and hopefull day.
You cried under the dark and cold rainy evening. You just want to ran into your bed and cried for hours that you’re wrong. The heavy rain drenched all your clothes and you. Without waiting for the bus you walked down all the street still numb and overthinking in your head. No one loves you right now, whom do you want to live for? Under the nature’s water your own tears vanished.
It take no time to measure your home distance. You shut the door so loudly that you also got out of those painful thought. You are broke, your heart is. The pain has no bounds. The drenched clothes can’t match your drenched soul. Already the winter rain is eating you up but you need more coldness to be out of this burning world. You cried loudly sitting at the couch. Hearing you Suga came and look a glance at you. He didn’t said anything, just standing there quietly like observing your intentions. You felt his glance, you looked at his pale face with your small eyes. You wanted him to ask you about the pain you’re feeling, about the situation you’re in and about everything which breaks your heart. But you don’t why your heart beating and wanting him to console you. You aren’t about this side of yours. Your feelings are confused more than numb.
’ Aren’t you gonna ask me anything?’ you screamed in your teary voice.
Suga smiled ’ umm! I can see the rejection on your face.’
'shut the hell up. Everything happens because of you. I - I’ you screamed but the ending of your sentences vanished on your heavy crying voice.
Suga walk up to you and sit beside you ’ I understand everything. No need to cry this happens with everyone.’
’ Suga, if you don’t know how to console someone then it best to shut your pity mouth.’ you aggressively pushed him away.
’ Wow girl, is it so? In the morning you also broke my heart in the same way. You don’t know how much I care for you, how much I need you now. But you! You just spit some cruel words and not even regretting. This is how you feel when someone broke your heart.’ Suga bashed on you.
You look dumbfound. You’re processing everything he said but you realized he ain’t right. You need to correct him. 'Why’d you came in my life? Huh! I was so happy without talking to you after you stop talking. I do have feelings for you and you clearly know each and everything. You broke my heart first. And again when I’m finally good with a boy, you came back. You don’t know how much you broke my feelings internally from a long time. And you’re giving me this fucking reason?’ you finished and ran to your room and lock yourself under the cold shower.
Suga just for a whole minute hear your words again. He can’t processed that you liked him before even he does. And the fact that you still have feelings for him. His heart got flutter and a pound of sadness hugs his heart. He felt guilty of treating you like that. But he no more wants to be a heartbreaker. He wants to prove you that he loves you, a lot. And want to promise you that he ain’t like those flirty brat to goof around. He’s the sky of your earth that’s permanent and no one else is allowed here.
He ran towards your room and screamed at the top of his lungs when he can’t see you there 'y/n, I’m sorry!’ You heard his voice but weeped under the shower. Your voice is enough to know where are you. He opened the door of the wash room and saw you under the shower with all your drenched clothes.
'Y/n, what’s wrong? You will get cold.’ he softly said and came towards the shower the knob.
'just get out, Suga. Leave me alone.’ you screamed.
'calm down, let me turn the shower off.’ he said softly as he lean towards you to turn it off.
You pushed him ’ can’t you hear me, leave me alone .You brat!’
Suga tilt a little but he pushed you against the shower wall and pinned you down “shut up. I told you I’m here for you.’ he said in his low cold voice which spend shiver down your spine. You both got drenched in that cold water. The shower is still on and you’re numb by Suga’s dominance.
You look at his fierce eyes and broke down 'I-I am hurt. I don’t want anything.’ He still pinned you down the wall.
He said 'You want me. Don’t you?’ and looked in your eyes.
You’re feelings are peeping out and you can’t withstand the man before you. The gorgeous, tall and broke man said enough to console your feelings. Your eyes can’t resist those plum lips to kiss on. He’s unknowingly hot and you accepted it. You tiptoed and kissed him while your tears are still all over your face.
Suga is deep down kissing you and your whole sad soul. You loved it, you geniunely did. The kiss was intense and passionate. His hands trail down to your head and lean you more to have a perfect kiss which he was imagining for years. Out of breath you broke the kiss and sighed. He himself lean down and put both of your forward together. You both heavily breathed and smiled at each other.
"Thanks.” Suga calmly said.
You look at him with love in your eyes and “I’m not stopping with just a kiss. I’d been thinking about this for over years. Now, that you’re here, I can’t leave you. Just tell me you also carry that deep feelings for me.”
He paused for a moment and complete silence surronds that freezing cold shower leaving you both a hot mess. You again think about doing something nonsense.
Suga take a deep breath “ Y/n, I feel you’re the one I have been loosing for years because you were always there for me to find you. But I never took initiative to find you. Please I really do li- like you. Do-dont ever leave me.”
He stutters and hugged you so hard. The moment filled you with joy but often reality strikes everyone so hard. Under the shower, two humans both in love with eachother having a special moment yet the bang in door wakes both of you up.
Suga hesitantly look outside the shower door to look if anyone was there but again doorbell rang and to both of your surprises, it’s Seokjin.
You are still figuring out if telling your brother about you and Suga is a good option.
When your whole world revolves around one boy, but destiny sets you with a unexpectedly expected man.
♡Pairing:Yoongi × reader ft. Jimin
♡Genre:brother’s friend, only old crush, heartbreak, college oc au.
♡Summary:you’re over him, a new world sets in front of you. But the heartbreak you both got at the same time is not what you have had thought of. It must be the destiny to set you with your only old crush Yoongi. But still you ain’t prepared for the third heartbreak in a row, what if he breaks your heart again?
♡Warnings:fluff, smut, angst, heartbreak, like flooded with tears, oc is so sweet, confusion, misunderstanding, crush , breakup, traitor, betrayal, brother’s bestfriend, roommate, college oc, angst shower smut, smokey, dirty talk, seokjin is oc’s brother, he’s a dick, yoongi is a Heartbreaker, jimin is also a dick, expectations ruined, one-shot.
Summary: It’s been months – ok, it’s been years – since you last went on a date. And you’re sick of it. Sick of seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the street. Sick of your friends settling down. Sick of everyone buying houses and having families. You’re going to do something about it. You’re going to snap up a man, you’re going to tie someone down, you’re going to finally commit, you’re going to – you’re going to need a bit of advice.
Your eyes dart to Jimin who’s lay over the sofa, face flat and disinterested, eyes on the TV. He doesn’t see the glare, but he can hear it in your tone and still he doesn’t react.
“You were supposed to give a supportive response.”
“I agreed with you,” he continues flatly.
“How is that supportive?” You whine.
“I –”
“Don’t respond to that, it was rhetorical. I already know the shit that’s going to spew out of your mouth.”
You watch Jimin’s eyes dart to you, the only part of his body to move before they go back to the TV.
“Now who’s the unsupportive friend?”
“I’m sorry,” you say sarcastically sounding very unapologetic. “I’m trying to tell you that I can’t find a date over here. That nobody will ever love me and I’m going to die alone and you’re fobbing me off for Homes Under the Hammer.”
“Escape to the Country,” he corrects.
“Idon’tcare,” you throw your arms in the air, flopping back on your seat.
Jimin finally sits up, turns so his attention is fully on you. He still doesn’t look fully interested but at least it’s something, at least your whining and attention seeking has achieved something.
“We’ve gone through this a hundred times,” he mutters and when you shoot him a look is quick to add, “but let’s do it again.”
“Erik’s ghosting me.”
“His loss.”
“And I know it’s only been a few days but how long am I supposed to wait around for a response?” You carry on as if he hasn’t spoken.
“Well, I don’t think you should have even waited this long. You owe him nothing, you can date multiple people at once, you’re not tied to anyone.”
“You sound like Yoongi.”
Now you have Jimin’s attention. The words were muttered under your breath and yet it’s like he has sonar hearing when it come’s to Yoongi’s name. It’s unnerving for so many reasons, not least the fact you’ve hardly spoken about Yoongi and yet he still seems so interested in him. He’s never even met the guy.
“What pub does he work at again?”
“Not saying.”
“Come on.”
“Nope. You’re not going to harass the poor man.”
“I just want to talk to him. See if he’ll take you on a date as you’re seemingly too chicken to do it yourself.”
The blood seems to drain out of you while also boiling to the surface of your skin. You try to look unbothered by the comment and while you feel like you succeed Jimin seems to pick up on something if his grin is anything to go off.
“Andthatis exactly why you will never know where he works,” you shoot him a sarcastic smile.
“There can only be so many Yoongi’s in this city. Possibly only the one that works in a pub.”
You frown at him. “And now you’re threatening to what … stalk him?”
“I just want you to ask him out,” it’s his turn to whine.
“When have I ever given you the impression I’d want to ask him out?”
“You called him hot.”
“I hardly know him.”
“Does it matter?”
“To me? Yes,” the words feel a tad bitter leaving your mouth, like a lie, but you’re so determined to convince Jimin and get him off your back that you hardly notice.
“Didn’t seem to matter with Erik,” he points out. “You’ve met him what, once, and yet here you are moping about him.”
“He’s ghosting me. And it feels like shit. It’s not the same,” you reply flatly, eyes go back to your phone as if you’re hoping to find that your words are a lie and there’ll be a message sat waiting for you. There’s not. “Anyway, the point is, what do I do?”
Jimin seems to take pity on you even if he does roll his eyes. He stands, walks over to you so he can sit on the arm of the chair. He doesn’t say anything but seems to look down at you expectantly. When you don’t move you can hear the sigh in his tone.
“Open up Tinder or something then.”
You look down at your phone but still don’t do what Jimin asks. You weren’t expecting the words, especially said so bluntly, so it takes you a second to comprehend. Is he trying to ask you to open up your messages with Erik so he can help evaluate them, or is he telling you to move on and find someone new? As if reading your mind, or more realising you still don’t get it given the time it takes you to do nothing, Jimin clarifies.
“If the guy can’t find the time to reply to you, or message you, or whatever, he doesn’t deserve you. Even if he were to reply to you now I’d tell you to sack him off. You need someone who messages you five minutes after they’ve seen you. Not this,” he waves his hand at the blank screen sat in your lap.
His words sink in and again you’re reminded of Yoongi. Wasn’t that something he said when you saw him after the date? That you deserve someone who you’re excited about, who’s just as excited by you. You shouldn’t settle for fine or good.
And they’re right. Dating is hard, it scares you, you don’t particularly want to drag this out any longer than you need to, but that doesn’t mean you should go for the first guy just because he’s not awful. It’s not like you haven’t dated in the past, but it’s been so long and you never did it like this, were at uni where you managed to meet people through friends and parties and clubs. This is different, requires you to put yourself out there a bit more.
It seems bizarre to you that you went to the pub alone, let alone opened up to two strangers, because it’s so unlike you. Maybe it was the spontaneity of it, rather than this. Which is completely different, requires thought and looking at yourself as others would, trying to paint yourself in a certain light while also wanting to be realistic. Then there’s the anticipation of talking to someone, potentially meeting up with them. Some people find that exciting while you just find it terrifying. The main reason you’ve put off dating for so long. It’s not just the potential rejection, but everything along the way to even get to that point. You have to pour so much of yourself in and you’re scared that it could all be for nothing, that down the line they’ll just realise that you’re not what they want. You’re not exciting, not special, you have nothing that stands out as something someone would want. You’re awkward and anxious and if you’re honest a bit of a mess.
But you still feel lonely. You have Jimin, have lots of other friends, but it doesn’t make it easier when you come home from work to an empty house. When you visit your friends and have to watch them cuddle with their boyfriends on the sofa. When you want to go on a holiday but all your friends already have plans with their partners. When you go out with your friends and they compare what their partners do and don’t do around the house. You feel loved by so many, but it doesn’t stop you also feeling incredibly alone.
“I’ve got some matches already, but I don’t know,” you explain as you give in and unlock your phone and then navigate to Tinder.
Jimin doesn’t say anything as he takes the phone off you, finds his own way to your matches. You sit up straighter, lean into his side to try and better see what he’s looking at.
“He’s cute,” he says, tilting the screen so you can see who he’s talking about.
You hum, not the most enthusiastic sign. “He’s going travelling for a year in two months.”
You don’t have to say anything else, Jimin simply moving on to the next. You don’t have to say anything about this guy, Jimin can clearly see that you’re the only one who’s messaged and he’s not replied.
“He goes home every weekend,” you explain as Jimin taps on the next guy.
“Nothing wrong with that,” Jimin says, scrolling through the chat.
“He takes his washing with him so his mum can do it and leaves with the weekly meals she’s cooked him.”
“Ok,” he says flatly, hearing enough to tap back onto your list of matches.
Your eyes land on the next person he’s going to tap on and snatch the phone back before he can. Jimin turns to you with questioning eyes as you lock your phone.
“And he sent a dick pic.”
Out of everything you’ve said this seems to be the thing that brightens Jimin as if truly interested. You’re almost surprised he doesn’t snatch the phone back off you to look.
“It was his first message and it wasn’t even that impressive,” you say.
“Savage,” Jimin chuckles.
“Can you at least see my issue now?”
“Dating’s wild,” Jimin shrugs as if that’s any sort of answer. “You found some duds –”
“A lot of duds.”
“– but you’ve just got to keep going. Someone will pop up. Someone a whole lot better than Erik.”
You look down at your black screen, as if the name will make a message appear. You sigh, you know he’s right, you just hoped it wouldn’t be his answer. Would it have been so hard for the first guy to be the one? It all seems to only make you think that maybe you’re not worth it. Maybe all your insecurities are right. If you can only match with this bunch of men, maybe that’s more a reflection on you then anything else.
“Sign up for Hinge and Bumble too,” Jimin’s tone is a tad softer, as if realising how down beat you are.
You keep your eyes on your phone, nod your head. Why did you even bother with any of this in the first place? Life isn’t so bad on your own. Maybe you should just be looking at dogs as a companion instead.
“Or ask a certain other guy out instead?”
You glare up at Jimin, see the cheeky smile on his lips and not so gently push your side into him. He topples off the arm of the chair with a yelp and now you have to try and not look so satisfied with yourself. At least he got you to smile.
Hey guys! i know I promised you that new Yoongi fic last week, but it’s turning out to be a lot longer than I originally planned (but that means more content for you!) so it’s taking a bit longer. I’m almost finished, so bear with me and get excited!
warnings: NSFW, dom!suga, lil degrading…. lotta praise!
word count: 4498
-
This was your worst nightmare. Never in a million years did you think that you were stupid enough to do it, but here you are. Running for your life to the gym where your best friends were practicing, praying to gods that Daichi is strict about no one being on their phones. Because while you were taking very… not school appropriate photos… you accidentally sent one to your best friend, Koushi Sugawara. You didn’t live too far from the school, so you were hoping that by the time you got to the gym that the boys would still be practicing. You could take Suga’s phone, delete the photo, and act like nothing happened.
warnings: NSFW, dom!suga, lil degrading…. lotta praise!
word count: 4498
-
This was your worst nightmare. Never in a million years did you think that you were stupid enough to do it, but here you are. Running for your life to the gym where your best friends were practicing, praying to gods that Daichi is strict about no one being on their phones. Because while you were taking very… not school appropriate photos… you accidentally sent one to your best friend, Koushi Sugawara. You didn’t live too far from the school, so you were hoping that by the time you got to the gym that the boys would still be practicing. You could take Suga’s phone, delete the photo, and act like nothing happened.
That was the best case scenario. What actually happened was that you barged into the gym to see the boys cleaning up. Your eyes skimmed the room madly, looking for Suga. Tanaka and Noya ran over to you, but you completely ignored them. Instead you asked where Suga was, desperation in your tone.
“Last I saw he was in the equipment room with Hinata,” Noya said, pointing at the closet across the gym, “I see Hinata’s hair, so if he’s not there you could ask him?”
“Thanks!” you yelled as you took off towards the closet. Daichi looked at you suspiciously as you ran, wanting to call out to you. He didn’t, however, because you had this insane look in your eyes and he definitely didn’t want to be the one to stop you in the middle of this. When you got to the door and looked into the small room, you saw that there was only Hinata inside. He smiled at you, but it quickly vanished when he saw the panic in your expression.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” Hinata asked worriedly, stepping towards you.
“No time,” you panted, “Where is Suga?”
“Changing I think?” he said in a questioning tone. You nodded, taking off once more.
You were very aware of the eyes on you at the moment. The entire team wanted to know what was happening, but you wouldn’t stop running. You couldn’t. You had to get to him before he checked his phone. So, despite the exhaustion creeping in your legs, you ran as fast as you could.
Finally, you made it to the changing room. You didn’t think twice as you swung the door open, “Suga!”
Silence. He was there. Standing right in front of you. He was sitting down…
With his phone in his hand.
“No,” you cried out, trying to take the phone from his hands. He just looked at you with wide eyes. He moved the phone away from your reach, standing up so he could hold it over you.
“I have a feeling you didn’t mean to send me that,” he quipped, looking down at you with an amused smile.
“Stop smiling at me, you jerk!” you whined, jumping up in an attempt to reach the phone, “It was an accident!”
“You were in my jersey,” he grinned, looking up at the photo once more.
Defeat. That’s all you felt. Utter defeat.
You fell to your knees in exhaustion, dropping your face in your hands, “Can we pretend it didn’t happen please?”
He looked down at you with a soft smile before handing you the phone, “Here,” he said softly, “Delete it.”
You looked up at him in surprise, “Really?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled, allowing you to take it from his hands, “You didn’t mean to send it. I’m not going to keep it if you don’t want me to.” He sunk down to his knees in front of you, a warm smile on his face. He watched you as you deleted it, a small inch of relief taking you over.
“Thank you,” you whispered, keeping your head down as you handed his phone back to him, “Can we pretend that it didn’t happen?”
He was silent for a moment before he finally answered, “No. No I don’t think so.”
You flinched slightly, your frown growing deeper, “It was an accident, Suga.”
He nodded, shoving his phone back into his pocket, “I understand that you sending it was an accident, but-” his hand reached out to your chin, slowly lifting your face up until your eyes met his, “wearing my jersey? That wasn’t an accident, was it?”
“No,” you whispered, stunned by the look in his eyes.
“Didn’t think so,” he grinned, “Who were you going to send it to?”
“No one. I was just- I just wanted to take a photo.”
“In my jersey? With my name across your back?” his voice was deep, slightly strained. It was as if remembering the photo, picturing the way your half naked body looked as you sat on your knees, legs spread open to show your lacy black underwear… seriously affected him. His thumb gently brushed your cheek, “What else have you done while wearing my jersey?”
Your face turned bright red, making Suga chuckle. You wanted to lie. Say that the photo was the only thing you had done, but he knew you better than that. He would know you were lying.
“I guess that answers my question, doesn’t it?” he grinned happily, standing up from the ground. You watched him curiously, but he didn’t speak. He just stuck out his hand to help you off the ground.
“You’re not angry, are you?” you asked sheepishly, not brave enough to look him in the eyes.
“Definitely not angry, Y/N,” he answered you, “I don’t think anybody would be angry about that.” You sighed a breath of relief, thankful that you weren’t going to be lectured. He smiled down at you, ruffling your hair slightly.
“Okay so since that’s dealt with,” you laughed awkwardly, looking down at your feet, “I’m going to go home now. And drown myself in embarrassment.” You turned to leave, but Suga stopped you by holding onto your wrist.
“You’re not leaving just yet,” he smiled, stepping towards you. His free hand cradled the back of your neck, moving it to where you were looking up at him, “We-”
He was abruptly cut off by Hinata and Kageyama bursting into the room. When they saw the position Suga was holding you in, it was almost as if they froze in midair. You smiled sheepishly at the boys, pulling yourself away from Suga. Begrudgingly he let you go, looking at the two boys with a glare.
“I’m gonna go home, okay?” you smiled up at Suga, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I’ll walk you home, just let me finish getting ready okay?” you nodded at him, squeezing past the two first years to get out of the door.
“I’ll be in the gym waiting okay? I wanna say hi to Kiyoko.”
=
The walk back to your house was strangely quiet. Normally you and Suga talk the entire way there and occasionally he’d come in and hang with you just to talk about whatever weird topic the two of you could land on. But today he was silent. You knew that sending the photo was going to make things a little awkward, but he won’t even look at you right now.
When you finally made it to your door, he smiled at you. It was the first time he even acknowledged you since you left school.
“Are you wanting to come in today?” you asked shyly, “I could make something to eat? I’m sure you’re hungry after practice today.”
He thought for a moment, almost unsure if he should actually follow you, “Yeah I’d like that. We should talk about the whole thing anyways, right?”
You laughed a little, opening the door and allowing him in, “I would actually rather us not talk about it.” He chuckled, kicking off his shoes and placing them beside yours. You removed your jacket and hung it over the coat rack beside the door before turning to take Suga’s to do the same. When you reached out for his jacket, you saw that he was staring at you with his lips slightly parted.
“Are you okay?” you asked cautiously.
“You’re wearing it now?” he asked in a strained tone, his eyes trailing down your body. You could almost hear his thoughts, wondering if you had the other item of clothing still on as well.
“Y-Yeah… I took them today. When I accidentally sent it, I ran straight to you.”
“Them?” he repeated, looking into your eyes, “You took more than one?”
When you nodded, he shivered. He wanted to see them. Better yet…
He wanted more than just a photo of it.
“Dammit, Y/N,” he whispered, dropping his jacket to the floor and stepping up to you. You stepped back in surprise, your eyes never leaving his.
“A-Are you okay?” you asked him, “I can take it off?”
“I’d like that, but not in the way you’re thinking.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, “Not in the-”
Suddenly, he had your back against the door and your legs around his waist, “Get it now?”
You did, but that isn’t what you said, “I don’t. I guess I’m a slow learner.”
Suga chuckled, dropping his head against your neck and brushing his lips against its curve, “I guess I’ll have to explain it, huh?”
“I guess you do,” you choked, moving your head slightly to give him more access of your skin.
“I want you,” he murmured before pressing a soft kiss to your neck, “I want you right now. In every single way you will let me. I want to see you underneath me, on top of me, or pressed up against every single wall in this house.”
His hands were tightly gripping your ass, keeping you against the door. With every sentence and pause, he would place single kisses on your warm skin.
“I want you,” he paused once more, looking into your eyes this time, “tied up, wearing nothing but my jersey, begging for me.”
“What if I say I want that too?” you asked him, lifting your hands off his shoulders and threading them through his hair, “What if I said I wanted you to spoil me?”
“Do you?” he asked, a hint of insecurity in his eyes. You just smiled at him and nodded. A soft groan left his lips. He didn’t answer you verbally, instead he just pressed himself forward and took your lips in his. You reacted immediately, tugging his hair to keep him against you. He didn’t keep you there for long. He pulled you off the door and led the two of you to your room, already knowing where it was since he had spent so much time here before. Your parents weren’t around much anymore so Suga would come over and spend weekends with you to make sure you were safe. So when he reached your bedroom door, he just about kicked it in.
“Please don’t break my house,” you giggle against his lips. He doesn’t say anything in response, instead moving his lips down to your neck. He sat the two of you down on your bed, keeping you on his lap. Finally able to use his hands without being afraid of dropping you, he cradled your neck once more. Just like he did when Kageyama and Hinata interrupted you. He didn’t waste a single moment in pulling your lips to his, kissing you harshly. You’d always seen Suga as someone soft and sweet, but right now he wasn’t able to pull himself back. Right now he wanted to break you.
His fingers threaded themselves through your hair, holding onto the roots and tugging greedily. When a thrilling moan left your lips, it was as if he was lit on fire. That’s what he was searching for. That’s exactly what he wanted to hear. “Fuck,” he muttered, feeling you begin to grind against him. Stuttered moans left his lips, “God I am going to wreck you, do you know that?”
“I’m looking forward to it,” you whispered against his lips before pressing your palms against his shoulders to make him lay onto his back. He happily followed your orders, allowing you to be the dominant one. Just for a little bit.
His hands crept into your jersey, his jersey. Slowly, his fingertips skimmed along the flesh of your sides, finding their way to your bra. Soft sighs left your lips as you stayed straddling him, Arousal formed between your legs as he teasingly rubbed circles around your clothed nipple, causing your breathing to go heavy. “Koushi,” you whispered needily, grinding your hips down onto him.
Red. That’s all he saw when you moaned his name. He wanted to hear it again. He wanted to hear you say it louder. He wanted you to scream it on the top of your lungs with his hand wrapped around your throat. He craved it.
He bundled the jersey up in his palms, lifting it over your head as carefully as he could. Though he did say he wanted you in only his jersey, he needed all of you exposed to him now. Once the shirt was removed, he flipped you onto the bed, crawling over you and taking your lips with his. With one hand, he undid your bra and helped you slip it off of your breasts, throwing it across the room without a single care. His hand reached up, grabbing onto your newly exposed breast. As he was grinding against you, he circled his thumb around your nipple. You gasped as his fingers grasped the perked center, softly playing with it between his thumb and index finger. When your mouth opened in a gasp, he took the chance to deepen the kiss.
“More,” you whined as he pulled his lips away from yours momentarily.
“Anything for you, princess,” he whispered with a sweet smile, his fingers abandoning your nipple and repositioning themselves a lot lower. He was barely touching you. There was no pressure being applied to the area, but just feeling the ghostly touch of his fingertips over your pussy caused you to moan excitedly.
“Please Koushi,” you whined, writhing uncomfortably underneath him, “I need you, please!”
“Good girl,” he smiled brightly, kissing your lips sweetly before unbuttoning your jeans and sliding them off of your feet, discarding them at the end of the bed. He didn’t come back to hover over you, instead he stayed sitting on your legs, keeping you pressed to the bed.
His eyes greedily took in the sight of your nearly bare body, “God you’re beautiful.”
“Compliments later,” you whined, your hips lifting in protest of his delay, “Touch me, please.”
“Patience, baby,” he shushed you, a wicked smile on his face. He let his fingers softly trace the damp fabric covering your pussy. Whimpers left your mouth as his touch only intensified your arousal. He looked up at you as he applied a small amount of pressure, watching to see your reaction.
“Koushi please,” you cried as your back arched, small tears forming in your eyes, “Please I can’t take it anymore.”
He looked at you and shook his head, “You will take what I give you when I give it to you. Stop being a brat, Y/N.”
You weren’t sure what it was about what he said, but your stomach turned into knots. Your legs instinctively squeezed together at his words, excitement pooling between them. Suga looked up at you in slight surprise, not expecting someone as sweet as you to like being talked to like that.
“Oh this is gonna be fun,” he whistled, staring down lustfully at your disheveled body. His fingertips slowly slid off your underwear, discarding them thoughtlessly. The sight of you completely bare underneath him caused him to pause. The way you were breathless just by his touch. You were absolutely beautiful.
“Suga,” you whimpered at the lack of contact. He looked down at you, finally leaving the daze he was in. He looked at you expectantly, wanting to hear you use your words. You whined and reached for his hand, attempting to drag his body down to yours. However, he didn’t budge. He stayed above you, a devilish smirk on his beautiful lips.
“Beg.”
“Excuse me?” you asked, baffled by his demand.
“You heard me,” he chuckled, “I want you to beg for me to touch you.”
Tears formed at the ends of your eyes, desperation sweeping its way through your entire body. You didn’t want to beg, you didn’t want to sound so desperate. But you were. You needed this more than you needed to breathe. You got a taste of his touch and now it was being cruelly dangled right out of your reach. You could have it, all of it… at the price of just a little pride.
“Koushi, please touch me,” you whimpered pathetically, “I need you.”
A shiver shocked Suga’s spine at your words. He wasn’t sure if it was the use of his first name, the confession, or the way your voice seeped out with so much helpless desperation. Whatever it was, he liked it a lot. So much that he dipped his head down between your opened thighs. His tongue expertly dove between your folds, collecting the juices his actions had compiled. Your back arched as a lusty scream erupted from your lips. Suga shrunk against the mattress, wrapping his arms around your thighs and flattening his palms against your stomach to push you back against the mattress. Your fingertips twirled between his silver locks, keeping him pressed against your heat. His tongue circled your swollen clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your body.
“Suga,” you called out desperately, feeling a small knot beginning to form in your stomach. But it fell dim as his actions ceased. You looked down at him and almost whined at the loss of stimulation, but you fell silent when you saw the look in his eyes. His hand slowly slid up your stomach and chest, all the way up to cupping your throat. You whimpered at the feeling, not completely sure how you felt about it. Suga’s face appeared in front of yours, an almost cold look in his eyes. You shivered in excitement.
“Now princess,” he mumbled, increasing the pressure on your throat, “I’m gonna need you to remember my name, okay?”
You nodded feebly, not once looking away from his eyes, “Yes, sir.” Your face turned bright red at your words, but before you could correct yourself, Suga went on to speak.
“God, you look so cute with my hand around your neck.”
Oh
“Fuck me,” you said breathlessly. Suga chuckled at your request, but he wasn’t going to turn you down. Not when you were looking at him the way you were.
“Anything for my princess,” he smiles, kissing the tip of your nose. It scrunched up at the contact, causing the both of you to smile. Suga moved his hand off of your neck and onto the hem of his shirt, pulling it off on him. You watched with a mesmerized smile, ready to become familiar with his entire body. When his hands reached for his belt, you stopped him.
“Can I?” you ask shyly. He looked up at you surprised, but nods anyways.
You lay him on his back, moving to straddle his waist. You begin with his lips, pecking them sweetly. Suga looked up at you with cloudy eyes and a goofy grin. Slowly, you moved your lips across his neck, collarbones, chest, and hips. He watched you kissing his flesh, showing appreciation and care for every bit of his body. Regardless of insecurity or flaw, you showed him you loved each bit of it. You unbuckled his jeans and pulled them and his underwear down. You carefully removed them from his body and placed them on the floor. You kissed up his thighs, smiling against them. When you got up to his fully erect cock, you bit your lip and looked into his eyes. He watched you with so many different emotions in his eyes. But when you placed a small kiss on the tip of his cock, the lust shone brightest. You slid your tongue up the side of it, never once losing eye contact. When you reached the top, you shifted your head over and took him into your mouth. Suga gasped needily, his hand gripping your hair. You took him slowly, not too sure just how much you could take. You had never done this before. I mean, you did okay at the dentist? Doesn’t that count for something?
Before you could do too much, Suga’s grip on your hair tightened. He yanked you up, sitting up in the process and kissing your lips harshly. You wrapped your legs around his waist, looking at him with a confused pout.
“I know, sweetheart,” he cooed, kissing your forehead, “But I’m impatient. And if you do that, I might give in a little too early.”
You giggled at his words and nodded, kissing his cheek sweetly. You watched him as he reached inside your dresser, pulling out the box of condoms your mother had bought you a few weeks ago as a joke. Seeing that Suga was coming over all the time, she thought it would be best to have protection at the house. She didn’t listen to the two of them when they were desperately trying to explain nothing was going on between them. It was a good thing she didn’t listen to them. You watched him as he ripped off the wrapper and slowly slid the condom onto himself. When he was finished, the two of you looked at each other in the eyes. You looked at him so nervously, but not Suga. Suga just smiledat you, caressing the side of your face and pulling it closer to his. He attached his lips with yours, moving elegantly alongside yours. But as the seconds went by, the two of you got hungrier. He flipped the two of you around, placing you on your back. He pushed your knees up against your chest before aligning himself with your entrance. You thought you would be scared at this moment, but you had no reason to be. Not when Suga was looking down into your eyes and telling you ever-so-sweetly that it’ll be okay, that if you wanted to stop they could, that he thought you were absolutely beautiful.
Slowly, he inserted himself. A gruff moan left his lips at the feeling of being inside of you. Your walls were shifting to make room for him. He opened his eyes to look down at you. You lay beneath him, your cheeks bright red and your lips parted. Your eyes were closed in pleasure as soft moans crept from your lips with every short breath.
“God you’re just so beautiful.” he whispered, taking in this sight. He wished he could take a picture so he could remember this always.
“Koushi,” you replied in a small tone, “I think I love you.”
“I think you’re gonna love me a lot more in a minute, princess.”
Without another word, he bottomed out inside of you. A shrill of pleasure and pain tumbled out your mouth at his actions. He loved the way you sounded when you called out for him. He slowly thrusted inside of you, coming all the way out just to repeat the motion. Feeling you pussy cling against him as he entered you became his favorite feeling in the world.
“You take me so well, princess.”
“It’s too much,” you whimpered.
“You’re being such a good girl for me,” he assured you, brushing your hair back as your body attempted to move closer into his.
“Koushi please,” you whimpered, unsure of how much more you could take.
“Keep being a good girl for me,” he whispered, “I know you can take it.”
You nodded, trusting him. He smiled down at you and continued his slow thrusts. You whimpered and whined at the feeling, enjoying the feeling of him inside of you. Soon the pain subsided and was replaced with pure, unadulterated pleasure. Feeling your body grow comfortable with his pace, Suga allowed one of your legs to fall against the bed, taking the other to wrap around his waist. He thrusted faster into you, using his free hand to massage your clit. The added simulation caused you to writhe against him, mewls of pleasure echoing in the empty house.
“Such a good girl,” he cooed, slamming his hips into you harshly. You yelped at the pain, “You like it when I fuck you like a whore, princess?”
Your walls clenched at the words, giving Suga the answer to his question.
“Answer me,” his voice was sharp and demanding.
“Yes sir,” you whimpered in response.
“You’re so cute,” he chuckled, flipping you onto your stomach and pulling you up onto your knees. He aligned himself behind you, inserting back into you without any warning. When your back arched, Suga reached forward and grabbed onto your throat, pulling your back up against his chest. He fucked you ruthlessly, keeping his hand wrapped around your pretty throat. He listened to every plea, every cry, and every helpless desperate moan that he was able to draw out of your body. He loved the way he could make someone as sweet and innocent as you cry out like a filthy slut. He loved that you trusted him that much with your body.
He allowed his free hand to roam the front of your body, massaging your perked nipples.
“Koushi, I’m gon-”
You didn’t even finish what you were going to say before he pushed you face down onto the mattress, holding onto your hips tightly as he began to mercilessly slam himself into you. You cried out as loudly as you could into the pillow, feeling your orgasm coming closer. There was no way you could hold it back longer, not with the way he was drilling into you. But when Suga reached forward and grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking it back but keeping your chest to the bed with his free hand. The added feeling just made your body snap. You cried out his name as your walls began to clench and unclench around him. He rode out your high with you, greedily taking in all the sounds you made.
“Koushi,” you whimpered, your body basically going limp beneath him. You looked back at him with bleary eyes, your orgasm still racking through your body. The spent look on your face was all he needed. Seeing that he had made you feel like that caused his thrusts to sputter, releasing himself into the condom. He moaned out your name as he rode out his high before finally dropping down beside you on the bed. He effortlessly removed the condom, tied it and threw it in the trash beside your bed before turning and pulling your naked body into his.
I have always been ambitious, my mother said. Tunnel vision once I set my mind onto something. I have always wanted many things. And have always found my way to get my hands on them — no matter what. I wanted many things. I have never wanted someone.
And I reckon, It’s a whole lot different than wanting objects.
There is nothing more depressing than the sight of a lady wanting so much from a man that doesn’t know anything about her desire. Hoping for the ripple effect of her desperation would somehow reach him through telepathy. How do you teach your brain to think like your heart? Knowing fully well that they are of different makings? One, thoughts; another, thuds. Connecting the dots with careful calculations, dealing with mathematics is much easier than dealing with emotions. It’s making you physically sick, dizzy, discombobulated.
The last time you felt this severely vulnerable was when you considered leaving your professional field to be an artist. You already prepared the dialogues in your head and answers to questions they might ask. And by experience, you also know that sometimes they don’t ask the question you thought they would. And that’s where the trouble arises.
You caught Seokjin in a pretentious glance to feign hard work. Provided his long legs, he got next to you from behind in no time.
“You look like a drug addict at the sight of your drug dealer after a rehab, could you calm it down?” He spoke in a soft but hushed tone. His eyes darted at random places in the room, to mask the fact that he too was actually looking at Yoongi—who was in fact underneath a blistering machine fixing and aligning the foil and PVC with his capable hands.
“What are your plans?” Seokjin glides his eyes and himself to the side where you are, curious and in a serious undertone. “It’s a little drastic but it might work,” you matched his tone. “Sounds a little rapey but sure, I trust you,” Seokjin nods. “Why on earth would it even go there, I didn’t even say anything remotely sexual,” you grimaced. “Rapey — as in intrusive of one’s personal space,” he adds. “Like what you are doing to me right now,” you spat.
He glides his rolling chair away, mouthing, “Fair.”
Yoongi could not understand why it was so difficult to screw the nuts in. He had multiple mishaps to face today and one of them is the no. 12 spanar isn’t in the toolbox, and the WD-40 anti-rust spray is missing for the nth time today. To add to the problem, the PVC roll broke in half because the new kid he is training, slipped them out of his hand. To which he had to request Seokjin, the executive to order a new roll since he clocked in pretty early.
His knees are bruised from kneeling for hours by this machine and already, he had to go for training for a newly installed packing machine. The engineers asked him when he was free. To be fucking honest, his only free time is his break time.
One final twist and it’s screwed. He pulls the foil roll into the feeder, and lets in extra length to finalize the alignment measurements. Then, he let the machine run. It stamps perfectly. He instructed the new kid to watch the machine as he cleaned up. He wipes his greasy hand with a rag he found. He knelt, yet again, by the tool box to hear the door open and close. It was you.
He placed the tools he used one-by-one into the toolbox and when he got to the last one, your hands snatched them faster.
“What do you need a WD-40 spray for?” He asked but not really asking, motioning his hand to take them from you. Repeatedly. “Do something for me…” you demanded, timidly. “No,” he darted. “One thing, please,” you added.
“I just did overtime yesterday, I will not do another one no matter how much you’ll pay,” he assumed.
Realizing he stood firmly on his stand, you resorted to, as you said to Seokjin, drastic measures. You hoped and prayed that you didn’t have to, but knowing Yoongi as long as you did, you have expected this degree of complication to take place.
You took Yoongi’s spanner and went to run with it. You bolted to the doors.
“What in the fuck—” You heard Yoongi cussed breathlessly, moaning how he has no time for this.
“That thing is heavy, fucking christ,” he mumbled tiredly.
Standing outside the glass doors, you held on the handles like it was your lifeline. Speaking of lifelines, your plan only works if Yoongi was in it. And the chance for him to be in it, is zero to none.
He could push the door if he wanted. He could do it with one hand. The strength you had mustered in both arms is a quarter of his left arm. But he assessed the situation diligently in a quick second and he knows that if he exerted more than that, you’ll get hurt. What is making you behave that way?
He lets go of the handle for you to set the spanner he wanted on the floor opposed to the door. There is no way for him to take the spanner without tackling you down first. With the glass doors between you both, sounds do not transfer, so you’ll have to communicate with sign languages.
You kick the spanner further away with your leg and toes. He groans and tilt his head back, baring his throat columns where his peony tattoos were. It distracted you. That’s new isn’t it?
Almost at the point of drooling, he tried to open the door so he could get to his tools but you were absolutely persistent.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” he shakes his head, pinching his forehead between his thumb and fingers, “I got shit to do!” He fusses.
Poking through the gap of the door, you said, “Are you going to help me or not? You help me, I give you your tools back,” you parlayed.
You closed the door and he steps back to undo his facemask, mouthing a delicious, succulent, “Fuck you,” he smirks.
You chuckled dryly and turned to him once more to show him your glorious middle finger before taking his spanners with you. With confident strides you walk along the long auto-lit hallway and somewhere between your steps, you hear the door behind you open and close.
“What do you want…” his voice, gritty with an attractive rasp.
You tugged a smile on your lips and turned to him.
“Buy me a meal,” you said and he made a confused expression. So you motioned a fork and spoon with your hands and smiled.
Yoongi replied with a snarky expression, bit his smile and challenged you through the glass door as if to say, “You wanna try me?”
Seeing that he won’t say yes easily, you took the spanner with you. So he hollered from the distance, “McDonald’s? Or Burger King?”
“Burger King!” You replied just as loud. “The spanner!” “After I get the meal!”
So persistent.
“What do you want?” He said at the self-order counter.
He taps on the touchscreen for ‘Eat In’ option, and bolts at the onion rings the same time you did.
“You too???” You beamed.
“Yeah, the onion rings here are great,” he said through an expressionless face, shoving one when it was placed on the tray, he wiped his hand on the back of his overalls and paid for the food as promised.
Now seated on the semi-empty fast food chain, Yoongi glances at you who is unwrapping the burger you ordered. He sets his limp crossbody sling bag on the empty chair next to him. His jumpsuit was unzipped up till the middle of his chest between his nipples, revealing the white shirt he was wearing underneath. At work, the multiple chains (read: dogtag, celtic cross and wolf fang) would have caused an issue but if worn underneath the jumpsuit, hidden away from prying eyes, one could escape suspension. The rules are high-school worthy, but that’s how the management wants to be conceived.
“What do you mean by ‘do something’?” Yoongi broke the silence with his gritty voice, fingers nimble on the onion he plans to shove in his mouth next, trying to rake his brain on the enigma that is you.
“I just wanted to have food,” you shrugged. Hoping the lie would be enough but deep down you know Yoongi is suspicious. Yoongi spreads his knees and reclines further back into his chair, lasering menacing gaze on your deceit. Despite him leaning, his bony tattooed wrist still extends over the expanse of the tables’ edge. His other elbow is on the other chair on his right. He cranes his neck back then to the side, and you could see a rough uncolored draft on them. The columns of his throat as he swallowed a thick gulp — such a delicious sight.
“Do I look like four to you?” You clicked your tongue, “On some days…” You begin. He begins to zip his jumpsuit and gather his sling bag, eyes darted at the exit and he clicks his tongue. You clawed his sleeve before he could go any further; the sleeves that he had rolled up his elbows.
“Let me!” you hurried to say and softened when you met his gaze in a brief glance upward from your seated position, “Explain.”
Seokjin crosses his arm whispering, “Yoongi will not pretend, take it from me.”
“I realized that we started off our tumultuous relationship from a misunderstanding that continued to pile on as we worked together and I know now that you weren’t as bad as I painted you to be,” you gulped. Yoongi is back seated on the chair.
Flashes of the words from the period drama you watched alone. The main character persuaded his love interest. Flashback end. Flashes begin. Standing across the table staring at Seokjin, you asked timidly, “Then what do you propose?” Flashback end.
Sometimes I learn to love from the TV screen. I mimicked their words and copied their intonation. To pretend to have feelings. Or to remember feelings, having been devoid of them for so long.
“After the time we’ve spent and how you’ve helped me out with the car and at work, I found out that I’ve been microscopically focusing on your bad qualities instead of the good because I was terrified of…” you fiddled with your nails, gazing down at your lap, “Terrified of liking you.”
Seokjin gazes to the side, at the window panels overlooking the road, “If he can’t pretend, then you’ll have to.”
I have to do this Yoongi.
“And I wonder if you’d consider,” you took a deep breath and forced yourself to look at him, “…Me.”
You can almost hear the crows flying across the room filling the silence that has been casted upon the whole restaurant. Actually, the crows were flying inside the restaurant and the staff are clamoring over them to shoo them out.
Yoongi straightens up in his seat. The way that whole day seems constructed, no, orchestrated to seem like a movie makes him wary. How it unfolds, how it came to be— they’re all so suspicious. He slouched forward and he brought his hand together, lacing each fingers like a prayer.
“What are you plotting, madam?”
I have to be more convincing. He’s not buying.
Yoongi has always been empathetic. According to Seokjin’s experience, if ever Seokjin needed help to fill in a specialist vacant spot, Seokjin would be honest about why the spot is vacant. Whether their motorcycle tires are busted, or their wife’s in labor, Yoongi would chime in. And by experience, you know that Yoongi would drop forks and spoons to help someone with something they couldn’t help with. Didn’t matter if it was a carefully-made lie. And the worst is, Yoongi kept falling for it.
Blinking to the side with your head hung down, you gulped. You didn’t say another word, just a dry scoff, too short a chuckle to hide a broken heart. Your lips pressed into a thin line. You don’t plan to say another word. You want the silence to eat him alive. Convincing, sometimes isn’t about speaking out, or throwing out big emotions; sometimes it can be in the silence. Because when emotion is at play, no words could compensate. Utilizing Yoongi’s strong sense of quiet empathy, you know that this was enough to dissuade his accumulating distrust. Sensing the change in the air, Yoongi’s head dropped and leaned back hoping to see the bigger picture of this strange confession that seemed to manifest out of nowhere. The longer you stayed silent, the heavier, the thicker, the more suffocating — the atmosphere became.
His knitted brows, the creases of his skin between, the lines in his forehead and the little shake of his head signifies a demanding confusion. Then he remembered the look, the gaze you held on him when he was catering you not too long ago. The lingering eyes, the stare. It adds up, doesn’t it?
“You have to understand,” He begins, clasping and unclasping his hand as he spoke in whispers, “I have never seen you in that way before, it has always been work and wanting to lend a hand where it fits,” and I am aware how it looks for you right now that I may have crossed a thin-line but for some reason, I can’t decide if it was love or coworker-ship and I can’t risk both. Yoongi clenched his eyes shut like it pains him to say it out loud, “But you’re my superior. It won’t look right for both of us.”
You swung your head to the side, nail digging into your Prada purse. The leather skin peeling off, unsure if it was his voice or his words that was wavering your fragile strength. This was something the dramas didn’t teach. Suddenly, it almost felt real and you tune your heart out to protect it.
“You’re not answering,” you shake your head, your smile faltering, “I asked if you would consider me… not the executive me, not your superior—me, the one you took riding, the one you cooked for, the one you listened to— me.”
The reflection of you in his eyes, his fluttering lashes as he figures out what to say. His mouth moves, and they sputter words that sound foreign to you. It is almost as if you’ve gone deaf, and you watched the shape of his lips to make sense of what he was saying and by delay, the words string into your head to form a sentence— all you could hear was ringing, high pitch ringing in your ear. The time moves agonizingly slowly and you sat there frozen, and taking it all in.
A week went by. And then. Two weeks went by.
In your room, there’s a large corkboard. Unfolding the blueprint of the house you wanted, you have thumbtacks piecing all its four-corners. There were pictures of Yoongi surrounding his name card— his interest, his tattoos, the pros and cons you see in him. Your domineering mother and passive father and the qualities they might search for in a son-in-law. The strings connect towards the house; this pretentious status of the house your mother wanted you to have because it would increase your family’s societal status.
”I am already so very successful, mother!” “Really? Where is your house? Your land? Who would believe you?”
Unmarried. No prospect. A burden.
Smiling towards the corkboard, next to an open luggage on the floor, you said, “He didn’t say no.” Yoongi didn’t say no. These past two weeks, you were on a business trip to town, representing the production department in the annual meeting for the headquarters based in Seoul. These past few weeks, your only source of entertainment was Seokjin who was updating you on all the field gossip while you were away. In a phone call, Seokjin mentions something peculiar about Yoongi.
“He had been taking a lot of overtime lately,” Seokjin sighs into the phone, “Without me even asking… d’you think it has something to do with what happened in Burger King that day?”
“It might have…” “What did he say?” “He didn’t say no.” “But he didn’t say yes either, did he?”
Silence from your side, but your smile remains as you reminisce Yoongi’s voice when asked for time to decide, in Burger King that day.
“Did you tell him that doing too much overtime could kill him?” you switched in your seat. “Yeah-yeah I did. But he kept saying that he needed to do something.”
“Which was?” “Dunno.”
Yoongi had the day you returned to work, off. With his bike, clad in black, his black leather jacket and work boots, he walks into a pawnshop. Upon entering, the young boy at the cash register leaves to the back and an older heavily built man replaces him. He wore big chains on his neck, had gold teeth that were apparent when he smiled at Yoongi. Yoongi took off his helmet and greeted him with his chin. A wad of cash was placed on the counter for the older man to take. He combs through the stack of money with a wry smile.
“You can count them out, I’ll wait,” Yoongi shrugs nonchalantly. The older man passes the cash to his son who disappeared into the back to take out something from the safe deposit.
This is the something that he needed to do. Recovering his grandmother’s vintage wedding ring. The day that she had to pawn her ring was the day Yoongi went to interview to obtain the job he has now. He promised her on her deathbed that when he could afford to, he would take them back to her.
And so he rides to the cemeteries. With white baby breaths in hand, Yoongi crouches by his grandmother’s name plate, fiddling with the vintage ring he recovered, burdened by the thoughts of the future, something he had never even imagined because Yoongi had always been living in the present.
“Because you said, when a girl spoke to me about feelings, I should tell you first,” he said, his eyes squinting at the glaring sun, “This is me telling you.”
He dug a small shallow hole and placed the ring inside, “And this is the promise I’ve fulfilled. Permission to be happy now, gramma.” The smile his grandmother wore on her portrait now didn’t seem crestfallen like how he remembered it to be. Call him delusional, but she actually looked happy. He walks away feeling like the weight on his shoulder was lifted entirely. He took one last look at his grandmother’s grave and the baby breath he had left, the velvet box the ring came with on top of her name plate next to her portrait — a redefining leap. A fresh start. To the new Yoongi.
It was a little over 6.30pm when Yoongi clocked in for his night shift for the week when he saw you still seated in your office with your face lit by the PC screen. You were skimming through files and keeping up with the changed production plan while you were away. You stood up to update the rosters for your supervisors and machine specialists to see. This is to inform them about the changes and they were required to arrange a task force accordingly. Seokjin might have notified them verbally and through text but this is a formal briefing as per SOPs. Earbuds in your ear to keep you company when you catch the scent of freshly brewed coffee lurking in the dark office. Yoongi enters with a thermos and two mugs.
Looking over your shoulder, you eyed him suspiciously.
“Did you know, the largest spanner in this factory weighs about 2.5 kg?” He pours coffee in the mugs, takes his and leaves behind a smaller spanner and retrieves the heavier one you had been withholding from him. He walks backward, one hand holding his mug, the other shaking the large spanner, and he said, “This one’s 1.1kg.” A smile crept on your face. He disappears into the dark hallway. And you sped to the door sill.
“So it’s a date?!” you yelled from where you are, hoping it reaches him, whose silhouette is apparent underneath the automated light in the hallway. “No time this week!” you could hear him smiling, he continued walking.
“Next week then?!” “No!”
That was how it began. Yoongi is doing the trades like you did. Like how you earned Burger King from him. The spanner is the symbol of trade. By leaving behind the spanner to you, he is giving you the benefit of the trade, the power. So you returned them to him. The issue here now is time. And suddenly, Yoongi was bludgeoned with looks and nudged from you, asking “Date?” A folded sticky note that reads, “Date?” Over time, you’ve gotten creative, and almost exposed yourself in pursuing Yoongi.
The “Dates?” were asked through the passover windows, written and folded in his locker, in his boots, inside his helmet, in all his pockets, in his toolbox. Time and time again, he crosses his arm at you, shakes his head and mouthed, “No.”
You sent a screenshot of your Google search to Seokjin. It reads, “How to ask a guy on a date?” followed by, “How to attract an INTP” then, “How to date.”
Seokjin [10:09pm] : Yikes. Seokjin [10:00pm] : Sorry I asked. “H. E. L. P,” you replied.
Seokjin calling…
“Maybe you’ve been too forward, like, the poor dude got spooked,” he starts. “Wow okay,” you grunt.
From the conversation with Seokjin, it seemed like too much effort isn’t attractive. Fair enough, you should have known when the first 3 of your 25 tries didn’t come to fruition. In dramas you watched, the girl wouldn’t have to ask. According to Seokjin, Yoongi would prefer a more intimate approach.
“ Maybe cut down the asking from 25 in a day to perhaps 1 or two—” Seokjin trailed. “ —a day?” “A week,” to this response from Seokjin, you frowned. Face crumpled.
“Inefficient, I wouldn’t have time, I need the house by mid-year next year,” you scribbled down the timeline. “Now, let’s not think of the time. You can’t rush trust,” Seokjin instructs, “You have to be patient.” “I’m a burnt out underpaid and overworked executive, I can’t afford to be patient,” you spat.
Seokjin rubs his face down, “Relationship to Yoongi, heck, to anyone is like a marathon. The finish line being the relationship itself. It’s not how you start, it’s how you end. It’s never about speed, it’s about sustainability, stealth and commitment.”
“Speak to me like an engineer, you make zero sense right now,” you massaged the temples of your head.
Machines, calculations, mathematics— connecting the dots from one end to the other have always been simple to me. All the things the world finds complicated have always made sense to me and for that reason, perhaps, other things people thought as simple weren’t so to me. They don’t appeal to me, much less matter to me. It was when I began to work with people that I realized how much facial expressions could say without words. Being direct has always been easy, but now that I know emotions others have, I tend to think more, learn more.
Have I been neglecting my heart for so long, I forgot I have one?
Gentler. Like how you heard the female actress in that movie say to her lover. Yoongi had shied away from your advances because you came off too strong. Too eager. Having heard Seokjin’s advice, you had dialed it down by a ton. It wasn’t difficult, but you were more concerned of the time, ever glancing at the digital calendar at every 5 minute interval. Maybe you should forget about it all. Maybe accept your first defeat and run off. That doesn’t sound like you. Fret, you’re clawing at the impossible as of now because this desire of yours requires a third-party who had to be earned by emotions. It probably would have been easier if the target wasn’t Yoongi. But it is too late to change now. The cards are drawn and they spell his name.
What would you do if you truly love someone?
You make amends with your past. Yoongi blinks at the half-bitten biscuit in his hand. He is seated on the roadside, wiping his hand on the back of his black worn-out jeans. Dust flew as cars after cars passed by. His boots scratch the pebbles underneath being the only sound apart from the throttling bikes speeding by.
The tattoo parlor behind him had its shutter just opened. The owner, with his fiery neon green hair, rubbing his eyes as he prepares.
“The alarm died on me,” he greets Yoongi at the door. Yoongi cocks his eyebrow and walks in, unconvinced, “Sure it did.”
“Heard you were back at the pawnshop,” Hansung yawns. “Not to pawn, but to get something back,” Yoongi sat himself on the leather seat, peeling off his jacket and black turtleneck. Hansung prepares a bottle of cognac and two shot glasses. In a while, Hansung puts on his black gloves and Yoongi bares his neck. Unprompt, he applies tattoo care balm on his neck.
“You weren’t kidding when you said you want to cover up your skin,” Hansung mumbles to his chest, knees widespread to be in close proximity in order to do his job.
Yoongi didn’t respond. Hansung’s eyes glided to where Yoongi’s skin was still bare. The specks of scars, and healed wounds that his skin endured. Cuts and blades on the columns otherwise invisible to the naked eye. It was these scars that he wanted to hide. Ligature abrasions, permanent scarring, small pale circle scars littered his shoulders and neck, all but his face— his skins were witnesses and proof of a turbulent upbringing.
Yoongi closed his eyes and when he did, those words he grew up to ring in his ears like a broken record.
“How about I break your pretty little face, huh?”
”Get over here, I need to put out my cigars.”
His childhood was dreadful.
“Hyung is always so strange,” Hansung let out a short chuckle, probably feeling foolish for saying this out loud, “Most people do tatts for the art, and you told me to treat your skin like a canvas. What if one day you wake up and decide you hate what I drew on you?”
“I do it for the tingles. I don’t care what you draw on me,” he replied coolly.
Yoongi showed up with a turtleneck the next day at work. He smells like coconut and mango when he passes by. He senses several head perks up when he walks by. He brought the book he was trying to finish since last Christmas.
“Friedrich Nietzsche,” you typed into your phone once you walked back to your locker. That was very interesting. Especially ‘Beyond Good and Evil’. The idea was to remember what interests him; and that is through the books he reads. As Yoongi was minding his business, he felt a shadow looming over him like a statue.
“I know you’re there, I’m not going on a date with you,” he spat dryly. “I wasn’t gonna ask— “ you screwed your face in disgust.
“Then why are you here, standing there like a ghost? Hm?” Yoongi shrugs, careful not to turn his head to the side because his throat tattoo is healing. “The will to overcome an emotion, is ultimately the will of another, or of several other, emotions,” you quoted. Sitting across the table, just like you did in Burger King, coffee in hand.
“I would not have guessed you were a fan of Nietzsche,” you take a small sip of the coffee in a paper cup, “Bunch of bullshit he is. But then again, fitting.”
Yoongi let out a scoff the same time he shut his book and threw it a short distance on the table, “Who said I was?”
“You were reading him.” “To understand him. The man’s dead.” “Well, I have SEVERAL things I disagree with.” “And so you spoke through his grave?” “IF I must.”
Yoongi squints his eyes toward you, and you squint back.
“One quote of him that I hate to this day, he said and I quote; ‘He who seeks intelligence lacks intelligence,’” you stated. “Why, because it hits home?” Yoongi darts.
“Because it was inaccurate,” you swirled and blew the hot steams away from your coffee. “Really, how so?” he tips his chin and folded his arms, leaning towards the table at you. You were rendered silence.
Yoongi clears his throat and lowers his voice, “It’s not a criticism. He’s not saying the people who value knowledge lacks it or saying that they are stupid. He’s saying that the people who search for something, don’t have it. It is in a way, stating the obvious. He, who seeks intelligence,” Yoongi points his forefinger to your temple, “Lacks intelligence,” he taps the tip of your nose. He scrunches his nose, smirking.
“Get it now?” he returns to his laxed self. “I need a pen and paper,” you swallowed the whole paper cup of coffee. Yoongi handed one. Then he tore off a page from the Friedrich Nietzsche book. That sudden move thrilled you but you hoped it wouldn’t show on your face but Yoongi caught on.
“So you’re that type of reader,” you grinned, taking the piece of paper from him, “The read and butcher kind.” “ I can’t decide if that’s a slur or a compliment, I’m leaning to believe that it’s both?” He pursed his lips and tilted his head to one side.
The wall clock showed 8AM, you stood up folding the paper he gave you after writing something on it, then you pushed it towards him. His larger hand overlaps yours as he takes it. Your hand slips out easily. It was obvious that he fully intended to touch you. The calluses on his fingertips send electric tingles on your knuckles and you couldn’t even look back at him after you left the cafeteria. You could feel his eyes on you.
“Bookstore. Saturday. Lunch.” You wrote.
Meeting was grueling. With the CAPA incident involving Yoongi finally coming to a close, you are now helping Seokjin with his CAPA report while the meeting is in progress. All seven executives of the branches were huddled in the meeting room and while the presentation was happening, it was common to see secretaries and clerks handing over notes from the Machine Specialists to their Execs. This time, Jimin passes a note to you saying that it was from your MS.
Unfolding the note, you read a big three letters written with a marker pen, “ Y E S.” You smiled so big, Seokjin looked up from his laptop, his bangs poking his eyes. You gave him a nod and a smile and he too, grins. .
