quirefeast:

tumblr user probablylilhal, or “Halex” is in a critical condition. if you read down his blog he has downed an entire pill bottle. If anyone or any friends of his knows his location, or can call the authorities, that is needed right now.
if you cannot do those things, just send messages of comfort to him, your support is helpful.

“Love”…

monsters are real. and ghosts are real too. they live inside us. and sometimes…they win.

Who will dry ur eyes when it falls apart?

I haven’t really been feeling like myself lately. When I wake up I don’t wanna do anything. And when I get out of bed I don’t do anything. I just kind of waste my time. It’s funny because I have all these goals and ambitions but I just can’t bring myself to accomplish any of them.

I overthink because I know how replaceable I am. I’m no one’s first choice or anything special to someone, I am nothing.

I stay awake at night cause I don’t even know what my favorite color is and I’m afraid I don’t have a real personality.

If I’m having a panic attack or if I’m telling you how sad I am or how I actually feel. Try a hug. It’s mental illness. Mental illness. Mental illness. It’s not like “my daughter feels horrible about herself, let me hug her.” It’s “Take your medicine!” It’s “Do you need to go to a hospital?” It’s mental illness before it’s me.

Love is a lie, we’re all empty inside.

Maybe we feel empty because we left pieces of ourselves in everything we used to love.

I wish I could look at myself in the mirror without being disgusted at what I see. I can tell my friends to be strong and to love themselves but I can’t do it myself. I feel worthless. Like I don’t deserve to be loved.

Hello, valiant readers! Aunt Scripty here. This post  was submitted by a lovely anon who wanted to share their story with all of you. Nonny, thanks so much for being willing to share this with all of us.

Hello, Aunty Scripty. (Hello anon!!)

I noticed that you had multiple submissions from people describing their experiences after having attempted suicide. I didn’t see anything that was exactly like my experience; I don’t know if this will be helpful to anyone, but I figured it couldn’t hurt.

I have attempted suicide twice, both times using SSRIs. The first time, I had a gap in my memory beginning about an hour after taking the pills until the next morning, with the exception of a few flashes of things that may or may not have happened (pulling out an IV, having a catheter removed). According to what I heard later, I was oriented to person but not to place or time, I was having trouble retaining information, and I was repeatedly not cooperative with nurses. I was held in the ER all night while I was treated (I believe it was just supportive care – I had nausea/vomiting/diarrhea for hours but no other symptoms other than the change in mental status). I was then transferred to an inpatient unit early in the morning. I remember that I was on one-to-one observation for the entirety of my stay there. My clothes had been taken and I was wearing a hospital gown; I had bandages all over my arms because I’d removed at least 2 IVs. I was held in that unit for about a day, while being given IV fluids for hydration, until a specialist (I believe it was a psychologist) was able to evaluate me. I was basically told that either I could consent to a stay in the hospital’s psych ward, or I would be remanded against my will.

I consented because I was scared of being forced to undergo an extended stay against my will. I was held in a psych ward for about four days. We had scheduled meals and group/individual therapy, but were otherwise allowed to do as we pleased – which was not much. There was one TV in the main room there and a few magazines and books. I was able to get permission for a small pencil after two days, and was allowed my one clothes after one.

The food was terrible. The patients housed in the ward ranged from people struggling with addictions to patients undergoing psychotic breaks to patients with severe depression and anxiety. There were a range of ages. To be honest, I think it hurt the effectiveness of the ward to have us all doing group therapy together like that, because it was scary for newcomers or patients with less severe problems to be housed with patients who were aggressive and violent. Visiting hours were for an hour in the evening, but special arrangements were made for my parents because it was Ramadan. My parents were also allowed to bring me food, which was nice.

I was very leery about taking any psychiatric medication after my overdose and because nothing had worked so far, but the mental health provider on the ward pressured me to accept the meds and implied I wouldn’t be released unless I took them. To be honest, I didn’t really feel safe going home, but I also felt that staying in that environment was not doing me any favors, so I did whatever they suggested until I was released. I definitely feel that my concerns and needs were not taken seriously there and that the pressure was on me to accept responsibility and promise not to hurt myself again so that they could discharge me and focus on other patients.

After my second attempt, I drove myself to the ER. I had no symptoms at all except for some nausea, and I was held overnight until a social worker could evaluate me. She was extremely kind and understood my concerns about being admitted again, so she agreed that I could go home that evening provided I followed up immediately with my regular therapist and agreed to see a psychiatrist (at that time, my medications were being managed by an NP in my therapist’s practice).

So there you have it! Thanks again for your submission, Nonny!

And my dearest writer-friends, if you have a story of a brush with critical illness, an admission, an injury that writers commonly get wrong, I’m always taking submissions with personal stories!

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

disclaimer   

Pssst…. yo, hey. You interested in… eBook? The first one is FREE, man!! 

yourfuturestepmommy:

Mental Health Resource Hub

Mental Health Resource Hub

You matter.

The world is a better place with you in it.

I love you and I am so proud of you for still being here.

You deserve help.

There is help.

You are not alone.

Do not give up.

Reach out.

There is always hope and a way out.

Keep fighting.

edna-skiffens:

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.

That sentence alone was hard for me to type..

I thought about being vague as I wrote this as to not get too dark but then I decided no, we can’t shy away from this.

So. It’s Suicide Prevention Day. And September is Suicide Prevention Awareness month.

I don’t talk about it a lot on here (not because I mind but because I’ve learned people don’t like going there) but I have dealt with my fair share of mental health issues in the past. I still deal with some, but I’m in a much better place. So incase you stop reading I’ll go ahead and say, it gets better.

7 years ago today I almost made a horrible life changing decision. It was hard. SO hard. But I kept going. And 7 years later I can look back and know I made the right decision.

Had I chosen differently here are just a few things I would have missed:

• My sister getting married
• My niece being born
• Traveling to 40/50 of US states
• Swimming in new oceans
• Graduating college
• 4 concerts of my favorite artists
• Seeing some of my favorite musicals including Hamilton
• Snow
• Meeting new friends
• Meeting my best friend
• Discovering new passions
• Having a poem published
• Some amazing books and movies
• Stupid little videos that make me giggle
• Discovering Tom Holland and Harrison Osterfield
• Learning more about the people I love
• Learning so much more about myself
• So so SO much more

I know this list looks trivial.. and it is to an extent.. but if you’re in your bedroom writing your note and you can’t see a reason for tomorrow, think of the little things. Think of the unknown. Think of the possibilities. Think of the little joys. I promise they are so worth it. You are worth it.

I won’t lie and say it’s easy. I’ll say it’s worth it.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

alphabet-idiot:

Okay, so I’m just going to go ahead and give all of you some resources for your mental health.

Apps

Calm Harm - helps people resist the urge to hurt themselves.

Booster Buddy - journal + med reminders, genuinely quite helpful. I find the little animals a bit unsettling though.

Reflectly - a journal app centred around mental health.

Amaru - an app meant to help with anxiety. Also, you get a cute digital pet :)

Calm - helps get through major anxiety. probably could also be used to get better sleep.

Headspace - basically the same as Calm.

Daylio - same thing as Reflectly.

Websites

Mental Health Commission of Canada

Mental health on the CDC site

Checkpoint (resources for many countries)

Please Live

Hotlines

Reminder: they are called “crisis hotlines” but you DO NOT have to be in active crisis to contact them. If you are having a difficult time/having suicidal or otherwise intrusive thoughts, you can call these people. If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency services (in Canada and the US, that’s 911) unless that would put you in more danger.

Please visit Suicide Stop,Checkpoint, or Please Live for a better list of hotlines than i could ever put together.

If you don’t like phone calls, please visit Lifeline if you’re in the US. If you’re not in the US, please visit Find a Hotline (there’s some there that don’t require phone calls)