#terf mention

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it is so fucking weird how terfs will assume what genitals u prefer in order to Diagnose You With Gay. especially when theyre talking to minors.

yellovv:

fartofthesunrise:

speakingintongues1983mp3download:

wheres that post that was like a screenshot where a terf said “why do trans women have an unhealthy obsession with their genitals” and their url was radcunt vulvahaver. it was so funny

[ID: a screenshot of the aforementioned post by @/radcunt-vulvahaver that says “Every single trans woman i’ve seen seems to be so obsessed with their own genitalia and can’t shut up about it? I can’t help think it has to be some kind of disorder and I don’t get why they all act that way” and the rest of the post is cut off. end ID]

gaymageclub:

pay careful attention to who is pushing the ‘no kink at pride’ bullshit

largeclitsupremacy:

its important to me as a detrans woman to be vocal about it. its important to me as a detrans women who initially only had radfems to talk to about detransition, because i couldnt find a single trans inclusive detrans person for over a year, to make sure other people know they have options.

radfems arent your aly if you’re questioning your gender. they dont have your best interest at heart. they dont care about helping you explore who you are, theyre only interested in sucking you in to be another transmisogynistic pawn for their violent ideology.

if you’re trans/nonbinary now, but are wondering if it isnt right for you, know that you have options. you can talk to me. there are people who have not done a 180 into bigotry who are here to support you.

please reblog, do not just like, this post.

i dont have a large platform. i want this to get spread. i want to remove terfs from the forefront of detrans/reidentification awareness & support. they cannot continue to be the first contact for questioning people.

i am begging you, yes you personally, to please reblog this, and comment or reply in the tags if you’re a safe, trans-inclusive detransitioned or reidentified person to approach.

doubleca5t:

there’s something truly miserable about JK Rowling being, at this point, the most prominent public figure associated with a hate movement but facing effectively no consequences for it because it’s an issue that only a small fraction of the population is passionate about.

Like it’s one thing if you have someone who’s said or done some “problematic” things in the past. It’s one thing for a media figure to be beloved by annoying MAGA chuds but despised by anyone even a hint left of center. It’s one thing to consume art from someone who was a monsterous bigot in their lifetime but has long since passed.

But with Harry Potter it’s just…. nothing. There’s not even a conversation to be had. Aside from people who are online enough to care, everyone else just carries on as before. There is no cancelation to come back from, there is no smaller audience the work is restricted to, there is nothing to contend with unless you’re friends with a specific kind of person. I still see people on dating apps who put BLM or ACAB or some other progressive slogan in their bios, but list Harry Potter as their favorite books. There is no shame in this. They see no contradiction because to them it is a non-issue.

Rowling is the face of a hate movement and most people who like her work don’t even realize it. They don’t have to realize it. And if they did, they probably wouldn’t understand why what she’s saying or doing is wrong.

I think about this every time I see new Harry Potter media coming out. Society does not care enough about people like me to even question if the people who hate us should face consequences for it.

According to the LGBTA wiki, the term “bi lesbian” dates from the 1970s and was used specifically in response to people policing the term “lesbian” and using it to exclude others: 

The label “bi lesbian” originated in the 1970s as a result of the effects of lesbian separatism, a belief within some strains of lesbian feminism and often within radical feminism which advocates for separating women from men in as many ways as possible as a strategy to achieve women’s liberation.[1] Subsequently, this lead to lesbian separatists rejecting and often discriminating against women who refused to withdraw from their involvement with men, particularly bisexual women. Lesbian separatists accused bisexual women of “sleeping with the enemy” and forcefully removed them from lesbian spaces and from claiming the lesbian identity for themselves, by redefining it as “a homosexual female/woman” or “a woman who does not sleep with men/is not attracted to men”. It is because of lesbian separatism that the bisexual label became very popular starting in the 1970s, as the word to describe a woman who was attracted to other women before was “lesbian”, whether they were attracted exclusively or not, and now that had suddenly changed.

Emphasis mine. 

The site above cites sources of people using the term to describe their identities and doing so in reaction to exclusionists. 

From No Longer Lesbian: An Exploration of Alienation:

The Lesbian Separatist Movement started in the 1960s and was spearheaded by “political lesbians”, women who believed that being lesbian is a choice and feminism in practice. This term was defined by the Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group. As a result of this, bisexual women increasingly became viewed as anti-feminist traitors for “still fraternizing with the enemy despite being enlightened”, and trans women were deemed a misogynistic plot. A lot of political lesbians’ ideology was the precursor to TERF ideology, and political lesbianism still remains entrenched in some TERF circles. They mistrust bisexual women because, in their minds, anyone who had the consciousness to “choose” to be with women also has the consciousness to reject men too. Anyone who “chooses” to be with men despite that is suspect to political lesbians and TERFs*. This lead to the definition of lesbian shifting to meaning attracted to women in some capacity, to being attracted exclusively to women in the 70s, with it becoming more widespread in the 90s. As a result, mspec sapphics (bisexual and other orientations that include attraction to multiple genders) were thrown out of lesbian spaces and erased from lesbian history. The idea of lesbianism as the ultimate purity arose from this and is at the foundation of the ‘gold star’ and anti-mspec lesbian movements.

This piece goes on to explain how the above lead to the term “bi lesbian.” 

Be wary of people who say “this word means this thing and only this thing and cannot mean anything else and has never meant anything else.” Be wary of people whose goals are exclusion. 

Here are some other pieces I found related to the topic, several of which reference this same history:  

I also found a number of academic sources about the term and its history, but they were behind paywalls so I couldn’t access them. 

Co-opting a term like this sounds straight out of the TERF playbook, so I can only imagine this is where people are getting the idea that they invented it. But everything I can find that cites sources indicates that TERFs are not the originators of the term. However, even if they were, the fact that real people identify this way to include trans people is paramount. 

You are welcome to find the term uncomfortable or hurtful or to be hurt by it. You are welcome to unfollow me. The fact remains that real people use this term to describe their identities and have done so for decades and that many of them use it specifically to be inclusive of trans people and specifically in reaction to anti-trans and anti-bi lesbian exclusionism

This is all I have to say on this topic. I might reply to other replies on this topic, but I probably won’t. Asks remain off. If my replies get too wild, I’ll turn them off entirely. 

amourduloup replied to your text post:

thank you for replying and welcoming disagreement. the only thing i have to add is that i understand the desire to respect how people choose to describe themselves and to not police their personal choices. however, these terms do carry meaning that are socially and politically important. also, and i say this not knowing anything about you, but if it is the case that you don’t identify as lesbian, bi or trans, it’s fine not to have a definite opinion! i appreciate you deciding to look for more information.

This reply makes me really happy. It means a lot that it’s possible to discuss these sensitive, and very personal, topics without assuming the worst of each other. I appreciate you and everyone else who took the time to reply so thoughtfully. 

wormieworms replied to your text post:

As a trans/bi person I will probs have to unfollow. Labels don’t exist in a vaccum and ppl cant identify as them just cause they “want” to. Ignoring these criticisms does not fight the terfs, it just ignores what real trans/bi/lesbian people are saying.

I’m sorry you feel that way and I’m sorry to see you go. I appreciate you sharing this. I don’t feel I’m ignoring these criticisms, but I understand why it seems that way to you. It really sucks feeling you’re not heard, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way. 

This is. A bit weird but. Like I’ve mentioned recently, I’m part of a group of people trying to create a local queer collective. And I’ve learnt some time ago, that one of the members of this collective is aphobic. Like “I don’t feel like saying ‘acephobia’ or ‘arophobia’ because they don’t exist” level of aphobic.

Which is bad enough, and honestly it doesn’t make me want to interact with her because, what an asshole lmao. The problem is, she’s a trans woman. So, it doesn’t feel good to outright dismiss her as an asshole, even though I don’t have the energy to educate her. If I see her and it comes up, I’ll just spam her with sources, whatever.*

Another issue arise though: excl/us/ion/ism, as we all know, is pretty popular among…te/rfs. So, while I don’t want to use up my energy for an aphobe, I can’t help knowing having this kind of bullshit in her head is dangerous for her (also, let’s be honest, it’s really fucking dangerous for the aspec people in her life, but it’s apparently not important to care about us so). So, while my actual main goal in wanting to make her change her mind is, the safety of one particular aroace person I know (they’re close), I’m also genuinely worried she might end up hurting herself because of her wrong beliefs. And I don’t know if showing/explaining to her how te/rfs have popularized aphobia and thrive on it would help? Like, trying to appeal to her own interests at first before getting her to care bout other people and trust/believe us?

I have no idea on if this would work or not. I don’t know her that much, we’ve barely met, and I don’t want to put the work into an aphobe with no garanty that they’ll at least change to be respectful of aspec people. 

So yeah it’s a bit of a complicated situation. Maybe I just shouldn’t care but like I said, there’s this aroace person I care about in this equation. Thoughts?


*On that, I have some pretty convincing studies/reports about acephobia, but not so much about arophobia? I’m thinking about the GLSEN report that is very good for aces, but they didn’t care enoguh about us to survey aro people

meowmeowuchiha:

endorphinmachine:

Reblog the shit outta this

Apparently it’s illegal to state that a staff member enjoys things created by TERFs

image

heads up, this terf likes to ignore byf/dni’s

the url is rad-moods. block away!

sehruncreative:sweaterkittensahoy:sweaterkittensahoy: This conversation plays through my head any tisehruncreative:sweaterkittensahoy:sweaterkittensahoy: This conversation plays through my head any tisehruncreative:sweaterkittensahoy:sweaterkittensahoy: This conversation plays through my head any tisehruncreative:sweaterkittensahoy:sweaterkittensahoy: This conversation plays through my head any tisehruncreative:sweaterkittensahoy:sweaterkittensahoy: This conversation plays through my head any ti

sehruncreative:

sweaterkittensahoy:

sweaterkittensahoy:

This conversation plays through my head any time I see a “queer is a slur” bullshit post on this site or anywhere, really.

(Homer’s Phobia, 1997 – guest star, John Waters)

Someone just liked this, so I want to add an important note:

“queer is a slur” is a common tool used by TERFs to poison young queers against their own community. They teach young queers that using “queer” is against the rules because “queer is a slur” and then young queers repeat it because the elders in their queer social circle told them so.

Why? Because if young queers understand that queer is a loving and welcoming term for everyone who is not straight or does not match their birth sex, then TERFs lose all their power.

Because TERFs don’t just hate trans and non-binary people. They also hate bisexuals and pansexuals for wrecking their view that to be a wlw, you only live women with vaginas and to be mlm, you must only love men with penises.

But also, to reject the use of queer, you must reject intersex people because TERFs base their entire view on what set of genitals you have, and because intersex people don’t have textbook junk, TERFs don’t like them either.

And you must reject asexual queers across the board because so much of TERF defense is “I just wanna fuck a woman with a vagina or a man with a dick!” And if you have zero or minimal interest in fucking anyone, you wreck their arguments about what queer people want.

You know who else TERFs don’t like? Questioning people. Because to question your sexuality and realize you are straight is a loss for them. To question your gender and realizes it matches your birth sex is a loss for them. Why? Because to question either of these things means you examine who you are beyond a base level, and if you go behind a base level and understand even a basic sense of the confusing and difficult nature of sexual attraction and how it does and does not affect your gender, you can more easily see the holes in TERF arguments, which are all based on stereotypes of gender and sexuality.

The only reason the “B” makes it into the TERF acronym of queer culture is because if they left it at “LG” their hatred of the entire part of the community who is most comfortable using “queer” is a six-foot neon sign.

And to any bisexual TERFs I haven’t yet blocked who want to argue they are bisexual TERFs, so my argument about the use of “B” as a political abuse is invalid: The monosexual TERFs will have you against the wall in a fucking second. You are the sullied allies they put up with until you step out of line.

Lastly, the gay man in this episode is voiced by John Waters. He is a gay legend for tacky film and also an activist for queer rights. When his joke of the Baltimore Museum of Art naming a bathroom after him finally came true a couple of years ago, it was a gender-inclusive bathroom. And he brought his longtime friend and trans activist Elizabeth Coffey with him.

I am certain John Waters would tell you not to fuck TERFs in the same way he has said not to fuck people who don’t have books in their houses. And I am certain John Waters–an out and proud gay man known for his beautiful trash cinema and love and support of trans people–would tell you that queer is not a slur.

@somecunttookmyurl this seems like the perfect post rn XD


Post link

fabfemmeboy:

metapianycist:

detransitioning stories that don’t need more publicity:

  1. i detransitioned because my feelings were entirely due to internalized misogyny, and I believe that all trans people are just gnc people of their birth assigned gender who either suffer from internalized misogyny or are fetishizing women
  2. i detransitioned because i was confused about my identity and I blame doctors / trans people
  3. i detransitioned because transition isn’t God’s plan for anyone

detransitioning stories that need to be boosted:

  1. i detransitioned because my identity changed, and i don’t regret my transition.
  2. i detransitioned because i was confused about my identity, and I regret transition, but i don’t blame other people for my own choices, and I don’t believe that my experience is representative of most people who transition. i believe that further restrictions on who is allowed to medically transition would do more harm than good.
  3. i detransitioned for my safety, because I live in a place where it’s not safe for me to transition socially or medically.

terfs prey on detransitioning people. detransitioning people are at great risk of getting sucked into terf echo chambers. we trans people need to support detransitioning people because they are not our enemies. the trauma of heteronormative gender roles can be difficult to tease apart from dysphoria, and we need to be sensitive to our fellow humans who just want to feel comfortable in their skin. we need to make it okay for people to change their identities, and try out identities to see if they work.

fearmongering directed at young trans people like “make sure you’re REALLY trans before you [medically] transition, because if you’re not it will give you dysphoria” introduces social pressure to prove to other trans people that you’re really trans, which actually increases the likelihood that a person will transition and regret it. because you’re holding validation of their current identity hostage. if someone eventually detransitions, you shouldn’t add to their trauma later by now giving them an inner “i told you so, you weren’t really trans” voice.

Other detransition narratives that need to be boosted and respected:

4. I detransitioned because it was simply far too expensive for me to be able to afford a body that reflected my identity, and I decided that I would rather live in my sad-but-familiar form than an expensive hybrid.

5. I detransitioned because I did not have the necessary time and energy to keep up the absurd amount of work that it took to reliably pass as female.

6. I detransitioned for my mental and social health, because I live in a place/situation where the act of transition was causing me to be cut off from all support.

7. I detransitioned because my medical circumstances were incompatible with continued physical transition.

These, like #3 above, are not situations where detransition is particularly voluntary, but are a product of the circumstances and society in which a person transitions.  I’ve known several people who have detransitioned for precisely these reasons, and it was certainly not an easy choice for them or one that they took lightly.  Their identities have not changed (to the best of my knowledge), and if they could wake up tomorrow in a body that matched their identity they would.  But that’s unfortunately the way life goes sometimes.

hs-ts:

If this was my life I would blow my brains out

[ID: A screenshotted post by @TerfBabey. It reads: “opening up kiwifarms like it’s my fucking morning paper.” End ID.]

weaver-z:

weaver-z:

It’s so funny when TERFs do biological essentialism and take it to some insane extreme I never could have imagined on my own. You’ll be scrolling an LGBT or feminist tag and suddenly see a post that says “Women prefer milk chocolate colored pretzels while men prefer dark chocolate covered pretzels due to Female Socialization,” and some other TERF in the notes is replying “Men eat dark chocolate covered pretzels because they have angry, rage-filled souls. Women are incapable of eating dark chocolate covered pretzels, the flavor is too harsh and wicked for their gentle tongues.” and not a single person in the thread realizes that this is fucking balderdash

[ID: Image one is a screenshot of replies from the notes that read:

c0rdycep: solid use of balderdash

StaticTay: great post also bonus points for using balderdash in a sentence

SpeakingInTongues1983mp3download: i want chocolate pretzels now

also yeah balderdash is a great word good job.

Image two shows a golden retriever looking happy as its petted and multiple people smile at it. End ID]

riderluk:

zarya-zaryanitsa:

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

hopefully the terf experience becomes being completely unable to interact with anyone on the internet

[ID: A post cropped to cut out the user that reads: “the terf experience is trying to reblog a post by someone u have literally never interacted with before and finding out ur blocked.” It is tagged: “#egg speaks #radfem #radical feminist safe #radical feminism #radical feminists…” End ID]

strawberry-crocodile:

strawberry-crocodile:

strawberry-crocodile:

strawberry-crocodile:

As a trans woman, I have a lot of behaviors that i am VERY EXCITED to do that are considered traditionally feminine. And I think the General Societal Narrative of a trans women, say, being excited to bake a cake, is that she’s like, Sightseeing Womanhood, doing something Women Do because it tickles her to Be A Woman. Which is… fucking hogwash. these behaviors aren’t Things Women Do, they’re Things Men Don’tDo. 

The urge to bake a cake and coo at babies and welcome houseguests, I think, is just human, but it’s something that men are told basically from birth that they’re not allowed to do. So a huge part of the transfem experience isn’t Discovering New Hobbies That Let You Be A Girl, it’s finally allowing yourself to do things that you’ve spent decades believing you weren’t supposed to.

And in less intersectional feminist spaces, this purveying idea (that a trans woman is taking pleasure from like, Sampling Womanhood) plays to an understanding of “male socialization” that is centered around the effects it has on AFAB people. (”Boys will be boys”, “He’s pulling his hair because he likes you”) 

And while I dont blame people for expressing the pain they suffer under patriarch, it’s pretty conceited to assume that this gives you understanding of the totality of the AMAB experience. Cis men and trans women and other AMAB people spend their childhoods being punished, by peers and authorities and media, for “unmanly” behavior- vulnerability, emotionality, caring, sadness. And I think that a lot of feminism (ESPECIALLY radical feminism) doesn’t fully understand that.

TERFs especially are 100% convinced that they know what male socialization is to the point that they will argue with trans women about it, which is the kind of hubris that would be fucking hilarious if it wasn’t so harmful.

God this is such a great sentence

plushself:

neckspike:

largeclitsupremacy:

its important to me as a detrans woman to be vocal about it. its important to me as a detrans woman who initially only had radfems to talk to about detransition, because i couldnt find a single trans inclusive detrans person for over a year, to make sure other people know they have options.

radfems arent your aly if you’re questioning your gender. they dont have your best interest at heart. they dont care about helping you explore who you are, theyre only interested in sucking you in to be another transmisogynistic pawn for their violent ideology.

if you’re trans/nonbinary now, but are wondering if it isnt right for you, know that you have options. you can talk to me. there are people who have not done a 180 into bigotry who are here to support you.

please reblog, do not just like, this post.

i dont have a large platform. i want this to get spread. i want to remove terfs from the forefront of detrans/reidentification awareness & support. they cannot continue to be the first contact for questioning people.

i am begging you, yes you personally, to please reblog this, and comment or reply in the tags if you’re a safe, trans-inclusive detransitioned or reidentified person to approach.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving something a try and deciding “ah, this isn’t right for me after all.”

Humans are messy and complicated, it’s fine.

as a detransitioner it means a lot to finally see some positivity about it

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