individuals will go into a system like I’m stronger than this system and will change it but no It’s literally always the opposite
“I’m gonna join the the military and reform it from the inside” no you aren’t. there aren’t enough words in the english language to explain just how much you won’t be able to do that
Tok’ra: ‘We have to be careful about giving you too much too fast, humans are barely able to handle the technology they current have.’
The SGC, stealing everything not nailed down, looks up from an armful of zats: ‘Okay’
Tok’ra: ‘See, we’ve been doing this for a thousand years and we’ve had some bad experiences’
The SGC, building a dialing computer from a bunch of late 90s computers and 512mb of RAM: ‘Sounds rough’
Tok’ra: ‘Absolutely, technology is very dangerous and if a culture isn’t ready for it there can be dire consequences’
The SGC, slapping a fresh coat of OD-green paint on Death Glider: ‘Well, if we can’t change your minds…’
Tok’ra: ‘Definitely not. Any technology we let you use has to be monitored by one of our agents.’
The SGC, handing out portable fusion reactors like candy: ‘That seems tedious, can’t you just trust us to promise not to look under the hood?’
Tok’ra: ‘We know your intentions are good, but like we said: past experiences-’
The SGC, yeeting a half-finished battleship across half the galaxy: ‘No no, it’s okay. If you’re not comfortable with it, we understand.’
Tok’ra: ‘Thanks, glad we can reach a compromise. So, where were we - what were you up to again?’
The SGC, blowing up stars and killing an entire species of basically gods: ‘Oh, not much, just finished phasing our entire planet out of the physical universe. Got any of those tunneling crystals? We want to see what happens if we try to dig up a black hole.’
everyone in hannibal looks at will graham and goes this man looks like he has a fever of a billion degrees and hasn’t slept in three years. let’s bring him to see a dead body.
again, so manycql/mdzs modern AUs set in america and never one in which nie huaisang is like:
so i knew this dude in high school, right, who invented a new kind of nuke and so naturally the government recruited him to work in Defense before he even finished college
but then he went rogue about an ethics issue with refugee camps and became the most famous terrorist in living memory and died in a police shootout
andthat’sthe guy i, the Secretary of Education, want to help me kill the President.
The funniest thing on my dash right now is folks who are familiar with The Untamed (i.e., the 2019 TV series) only via GIFsets reblogged by their mutuals honestly being under the impression that it’s, like, a period romantic comedy or something and going “wait, that guy is an evil wizard?”
Now, now, I’m well aware that this is a period romantic comedy between the evil necromancer wizard and the farm boy hero!
I regret to inform you the farm boy hero is the evil necromancer wizard
buffy the vampire slayer is so funny because theoretically yes, she would come off as a bit werid to the people who don’t know she fucking hunts vampires. fortunately for us, the writers chose to express this by making every character act like she’s insane for asking totally normal questions
popular girl: omg this is great school is cancelled!! we can go home because some guy found the decaying corpse of one of our classmates stuffed in a gym locker <33333
buffy: oh shit what. how did he die?
popular girl: eww who cares? morbid much, why would you even ask that LOL! this is why you have no friends
i feel like tumblr is doing something kind of revolutionary with its advertising rn? like… if they’re doing what I suspect they’re doing, it’s almost impressive?
tumblr: hey, we need money to keep the lights on so here’s an ad for ball shaving devices
me: i am not the target market but okay! thanks!
tumblr: hey, sorry, but you scrolled down past two posts so now it’s ad time. how about you shave your balls, huh?
tumblr: hey you need anything for that ball shaving thing, orrrr..?
me: you like. you HAVE to know that i do not. in fact, based on a real rough read of the demographics of my followers, it seems like you have massively misjudged your audience for these ads? like, ball-havers seem to be a pretty small subset of users here?
tumblr: no, no, got it.
me:squints
me: okay, i’m gonna scroll down ag-
tumblr: hey, how about you shave your balls for once, huh????!!!
me:… is this the only ad you’re running now? like, not only are all my ads for ball shaving tools, you’re running them so close to each othet it that feels 50% of my dash is ball shaving tool ads?
tumblr: hey we’re sorry but we need money, and we only get money when someone clicks on an ad, so-
me: BUT WHO IS ACTUALLY DOING THAT???! BECAUSE MOST OF US? WE DO NOT HAVE BALLS?!!!?? Like, why not just diversify your ad sponsors to buy something that we can actually use? just like… maybe plug one! other! product! or! service! IDEALLY UNRELATED TO SHAVING BALLS!
tumblr: we actually were just about to drop a new ad for a totally different product! totally unrelated to balls!
me: awesome, thanks man, that’s progress. what’s the new ad camp-
tumblr:
tumblr: gimme 40 bucks and it stops. 40 bucks and i’ll cool it for a whole year year.
me: does…. does manscaped know you’re doing this? like, do they know their ads are now enforcing an extortion attempt or-
tumblr: LALALALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ALL YOUR BALLS THAT NEED SHAVING unless you have 40 bucks that is. 40 bucks and this can end right here.
Everyone has been pulling this racket for years (youtube premium and suchlike) but Tumblr are forgiven because they wisely chose to do it in the funniest way possible.
