5 benefits of loving yourself:

1. A kinder, gentler you. This way you become the best friend that you’ve always wanted!

2. More energy for living fully. When practicing self care it allows for renewal of energy.

3. More love to share with others. Loving yourself more will have a positive impact on all of your relationships.

4. Healthier relationships with loved ones. With out self love we feel the need to look elsewhere for this love and it can become toxic.

5. No longer dependent on external measures of success. With self love it makes success feel better and doesn’t allow self doubt to ruin it.

Will you be working on these 5 for 2022? 

If you eat bad stuff you’re gonna feel bad, but if you eat good you’ll feel good.

daddydom:

Date Idea:

Take your little to build a bear. Help them build their new stuffie together and help them name it. This is the very important part, make sure you’re the one who puts the sound in for your Little’s new stuffie and don’t tell them what it is. Be sure to let them know that they can’t play it till you two get home. Have them wait, take the long way home, so that they can keep asking to play it. Whatever you do, do not break no matter how cute they are. As time goes by they might start to expect it to be something goofy by your laughter but no, leave them the cutest little message in your most softest voice “I love you my little Princess/Prince.” Make sure it’s something that will make them feel all little inside every time they replay it.

sciencescribbler:

Signs Your Little Needs Extra Attention

• Grabby hands
• Needing to be regressive more often to cope with stress
• Feeling burnt out
• They might be touch starved: COVID especially has exacerbated this, doubly so for anxious folks, immunocompromised people, or people living alone.
• Whiny voice
• Stomping their feet
• Avoiding responsibilities
• Melancholy moods
• General anhedonia or a lack of interest/ excitement even when doing things they normally love
• Periods of high stress
• Self- denial, from orgasms to a comfy blanket… when your little starts pushing away the things that give them comfort and security, they actually need them even more
• Negative self talk
• Family stress, especially if it’s severe or frequent
• Repeated bad behavior without a clear cause
• Unexpected or over the top anger at unusual situations
• Disagreements that normally are minor, by keep getting bigger when you or your partner aren’t doing well emotionally
• Self harm
• Negative food or beverage choices: Whether it’s a food they know they should avoid or giving themselves a hangover from overindulgence, it can be a cry for help
• Napping not for rest but to avoid things
• Not taking care of their hygiene or wellbeing

If you spot the above behaviors, or similar behaviors… ACT! Give them love, time, affection, and rest.

You’ll be shocked how difficult it can be for many littles to express their needs, especially when stressed. So sometimes, it can be a profound gift to see their struggles even before they know to articulate it!

After all… little ones can’t be expected to know when they’re struggling… they’re just lil babies. That’s why they need a mommy, or daddy, or caregiver!

pilcrowtalk:

“I’m the Dom/me, that’s why.”
RED.

“I don’t have to discuss my behavior with you because I am allowed to do whatever I want.”
RED.

“If you were a good sub, you wouldn’t have (so many) limits.”
RED.

“If you were a good sub, you wouldn’t need a safeword.”
RED.

“I don’t do warm ups.”
RED.

“I don’t do aftercare.”
RED.

“I am a Dom/me and therefore infallible.”
RED.

Only YOU can prevent our community from douchebags masquerading as fake Dom/mes. Won’t you help 2016 be the last year for fake Dom/mes?

onelittlekingdom:

Red Flags 101

D-types who make you feel like you are a pain in the ass for asking for their time and attention.

Part of having a healthy D/s relationship is having very open and honest communication between yourself and your partner. If your partner discourages you from communicating your wants and needs, and makes you feel badly for wanting them attended to, they are discouraging open and honest communication from you, and making your relationship more dysfunctional. You are not a pain in the ass for wanting your dom(me)s time and attention. You placed them in charge so you could get it.

JD

aiyanayanas:

S Types!!!

If your D type is feeling down, sick, out of sorts. Take care of them.

Yes they’re your d type - but they need care too! You can’t take take take with no give. Just as with any other relationship, you have to be there for one another.

Take care of them, just as they would for you

jerseydaddy-littleprincess:

The first thing you have to come to terms with, is that most littles need care and support above their sexual needs. There are subs that crave Dom Play, and being used quickly, and often, but by and large, littles will be looking for a relationship. Leading with your dick is not going to get you far in this dynamic, and is not appropriate if you want to capture the heart, mind, and body of one of the precious and youthful souls that is a little. 

If it is not obviously stated somewhere, you should always make sure that the little who has caught your eye is unowned. Ask if you are unsure. If she is owned, respect her Dominant and her relationship, and move on. If she is not, you should ask if she is open to meeting someone who could become her Daddy. The proper way to earn her submission takes time and energy, and if she is not interested in getting to the same place you are, you want to know that before you begin. 

Now that you know she is unowned, and is receptive to taking the road you wish her to take towards you, you need to get to know her. This part of the process is not different than meeting people in vanilla relationships. Where is she from? What are her hobbies? Who does she live with? Does she have any pets? What are her favorite TV shows? This is you showing interest in her as a human being. It’s a very reasonable place to start. Be as open and honest as you can possibly be about yourself when she asks you questions, or volunteer pieces of yourself when you feel appropriate. 

The last get to know you questions can be designed to start to get an impression of what will be involved in her care. What are her goals? What challenges does she face in her daily life? Does she want to eat healthier? Does she want to do better in school? Does she suffer from stress or anxiety, or have other health issues? Does she hate that her room is always a mess? Does picking out what to wear everyday stress her out? When you find these things out, you can start to consider how to help her deal with these things within the boundaries of the relationship you will create together. The good Daddy you hope to be for her, will take the time to look at each of the things she expresses to you, and come up with some initial strategies to help her manage, control, or fix these things. 

From here on out, challenge yourself to be patient. Patience is an essential element of being a good Dominant, and displaying that you have it at the outset will create the impression you wish to convey. At some point, when she feels you have taken an interest in who she is, and trust begins, she will start to open up with you about relationships and kinks. Let that conversation be on her timetable. If she is waiting for you to broach the subject, let her wait. In jumping into this conversation too early, on your timetable, you show her your lack of patience and control, and risk broaching the subject too early, and putting a chip in that trust you have been working on building.

Once you get to this part of getting to know a little you are interested in, things can start to take their own pace toward the day she asks you to be her Daddy. Remember that, like the discussion of kinks and relationships, that there are still elements that should be under her control and timetable. Don’t ask for nudes. Let her decide when she wants to share her naked self with you. Don’t ask her to call you Daddy. That’s what she calls you after she offers you her submission. Don’t call her pet names. You are not there yet. Remember that earning the trust necessary for her to offer you her submission can take weeks, or months. Be patient, have patience, and exercise as much patience as you can. 

This is how I’d go about pursuing the submission of a little that I felt myself drawn to. It is not the only way, but it encompasses what I perceive to be their typical desires, and paves the road for a healthy and happy DD/lg relationship. My best on capturing the attention, and earning the submission, of the little who has caught your eye. 

jerseydaddy-littleprincess:

1. Push you to do things before you are ready.

He should always want you to be comfortable about playing with him, sending him nudes, or anything else within your relationship. Your comfort first.

2. Ask you to call him Daddy.

This is a title that you give him when you are ready. When you feel a shining and intense trust and sense of safety, it may be time to offer Him your submission, and ask him to be your Daddy. Before that, he has not earned the title.

3. Call you pet names.

This also is on your timetable. Once again, you should wait till you feel safe and trusting of someone before they get to call you little girl, sweet pea, babydoll, or anything of the like.

You are in control of these things little ones. Any Daddy who knows that is one to pay attention to. The ones who don’t… let them know and teach them. The ones who don’t care… put them in the rearview.

jerseydaddy-littleprincess:

Once a submissive puts her submission in the hands of her Dominant, she experiences such peace. So many of the things she had to worry about before, are now out of her hands. What will she wear? Will she wake up on time? What if she gets anxious? All the little stresses that were once part of her day to day, are now simple rules, consistent support, and under the supervision of her Dominant’s will. It’s what her nature has been yearning for. Now, she can relax.

But what about all the time leading up to submission? In the time between meeting her Dominant, and his control over her day to day life, she is in charge of all the decisions. She decides who is a prospective Daddy. She decides how fast he will earn that title. She decides when intimacy starts between them, and how fast it will progress. It’s so very important that she has control of things during this time, and yet, it’s not in her nature to want such control, or wield it in the presence of a Dominant that may one day be hers. 

It’s no wonder so many submissives rush through the screening process on their way towards submission. The temptation to hand everything over to Him as soon as possible much be almost impossible to resist. So hard to resist, that she is willing to do things before she is comfortable, allow him to take liberties with her body and her spirit that most would consider reckless, and hand Him the reins before she feels the complete trust that she should wait to feel. 

In the end though, it’s the fact that she has ALL the control herself prior to submission, and gives it ALL to him in submission, that makes the power exchange so complete and intense, and makes the dynamic so successful. 

Hold onto that control little one. I know it’s nothing that you want, and that you yearn for it to be taken away from you. Just hold onto it long enough to make sure you have a Dominant worthy of taking it from you for a long time to come. Then, you can rest. Then, you can let it all go. 

jerseydaddy-littleprincess:

Before you give your submission to a Dom, and make him your Daddy, you are the fucking boss. Every day is like Sadie Hawkins Day in the DD/lg dynamic, in that it’s you littles who get to pick who you interview, when you talk sex, when he sees you naked, who you submit to, and who gets dismissed. It’s our jobs, as hopeful Daddies, to woo you, impress you, and prove that we care about you, and not just the kinky sex, until you grow to trust us, and we earn your submission. You are the bright shiny grand prize, not a old used toy sitting in a bin marked “free” at a garage sale. So go into looking for a Daddy with a little chip on your shoulder. You’re the prize. You’re the boss. Make him show you he’s patient, and that he thinks you’re worth having patience over. Make him earn it. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

oneguysview:

Listen, safe words are critically important. They’re non-negotiable, they have to exist in healthy BDSM.

But, we should talk a little about the fact that a good dominant / top shouldn’t be letting it get to a safe word situation. There is a whole lot more to all this than just going as far as you can and waiting for them to tap out. The dominant/top needs to be aware of when they’re pushing the envelope, we need to be watching for signs in the submissive / bottom of things going too far, we need to be checking in as things go on. When you’re taking the reins, you’re taking on a responsibility that is so much more than just agreeing to a safe word.

Yeah, safe word means stop. But lack of safe word does not necessarilymean go.

Source:Bratty Little Princess

learningtothrive:

hunny-coves:

reggies-eyeliner:

recovery-punk:

book-limerence:

tiny-crecher:

carbinated-buttermilk:

stardewvalleyquotesbutitswrong:

panwuthaplan:

thatse-corvid-core-babey:

becausewedefinetheworld:

lilbabybisexual:

rk-hamiltrash:

its-my-mental-breakdown:

themultishipperchild:

4ngstyc00kie:

tiny-goddess-of-chaos:

slothful-rabbit:

slider-79-but-im-not-real:

justabsbutler:

panpotterhead3000:

sing-it-for-the-gays:

genderfluid-and-confuzled:

togshitpost:

ipaniceverywherenotjustthedisco:

dracogotgame:

cokezerotokes:

anatrash17:

21falloutpanicsattheblackparade:

louanabanana:

arealfuckinhoe:

awkwardkurogiri:

phantomhive-blue:

my-thoughts-and-junk:

slytherinvalues:

song-of-fairies:

rwagzwriting:

mrsmamarhodey:

fox-sparkle-ghost-symbiote:

soldierjhwatson:

alpine-insurrection:

cinnamonsalty:

1divergent2hg:

nonbinary-hawke:

thnksfrthmania:

infjwriter:

underachieved-witch:

2srooky:

thegoodlion:

soulsoaker:

turing-tested:

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

• socks are quieter than bare feet on tile/wood and for the love of god don’t wear slippers/shoes if you can help it
  
• climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house
• crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell 
• the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall
• do NOT attempt to use a rolling chair to travel without footsteps. they are extremely loud and hard to steer

Also. Breath with your mouth and not your nose. Your nose will whistle. Trust me.
If you need to get into your fridge, jab your finger into the rubber part that seals the door closed and create a tiny airway. This will prevent the suction noise when you open the door.
When drinking liquids (juice mostly), pour out your glass (or chug from the jug) and replace what you drank with water. If it was full enough in the beginning, no one will notice. DO NOT STEAL ALCOHOL. THEY WILL NOTICE IF IT’S WATERED DOWN.
Bring a pillowcase for dried foods like cereal and granola. It helps to muffle the sound it makes when it pours.

If your house has snack packs (like gummy bears or crackers or chips), count them every day until you know the rhythm that they get consumed. (This took me a week and a half with my twin brother and sister). Then join the rhythm when you make your nightly visits. It will be that much harder to figure out it was you.

KEEP A TRASH BAG UNDER YOUR BED FOR WRAPPERS AND STUFF BUT DONT FORGET TO THROW IT OUT WHENEVER YOU CAN. BUGS YKNOW.
Hope this helped.

I might have some useful info to add.

-a jar of peanut butter is long lasting and easy to hide under a bed or in a dresser drawer. I lived off of jars of peanut butter and boxes of saltine crackers I would buy on grocery trips with my mom.

-two words: Slipper Socks. These are the socks that have rubber designs on the bottom for grip. They make no noise, and also keep you steady on slicker surfaces like tile and wood. You can find them cheap at Walmart. They also keep your feet more protected if you’re outside.

-if you’re secure enough in your room to have a small food stash, make sure you’re not too obvious about it (duh) but also move its location every few days. I kept mine in a shoebox under my bed, then switched it to a backpack in my closet, then wedged between my bookshelf and wall, and I would cycle locations until i moved it permanently to a false-bottomed drawer I installed in my dresser when my father was gone for a weekend. I would NEVER put food directly into my stash after taking it. I would keep it in pockets of my clothes and between books until everyone went to sleep, then I’d stock and stow my stash for the next few days.

-get a water bottle with a filter in it. I used to be able to reach my bathroom from my bedroom door down the hall using a huge step or minor jump/leap. If I was afraid of being caught at night, I’d fill up the humidifier tank we kept under our sink while I took a short shower, and would refill my water that way. It might not be the best option, but I kept a small stockade of water under my bed for emergencies.

-if you can, smuggle your garbage out in your backpack or purse. Dispose of it at work/school. I got caught twice by carelessly throwing away packaging.

-if someone knows the situation you’re going through (close friend/partner/etc) see if there’s a way for them to get food or other supplies to you at school or work or what private time you may get. A hidden first aid kit literally saved parts of my body before and I owe it to a close friend.

-try learning the building’s natural rhythm. The house I grew up in would creak and settle heavily every night for 3-5 minutes. That was my shot, and I had to be QUICK. I still got caught a few times, but learning the patterns in our floors and walls, when they creaked, WHERE they creaked, kept me going. Eventually I was sprinting in slipper socks to the kitchen and back in less than 90 seconds.

-if you have stairs, or live upstairs. Sit as you go down them one at a time, or climb up them like an animal. It keeps you low/out of lots of motion sight, and also can reduce noise and creaking by distributing weight over more than 1-2 steps.

-You can use common hand sanitizer to remove the stains certain snack foods leave behind (coughs cheeto fingers) and a dry toothbrush can help scrub the color off your tongue. If you can get powdered toothpaste or toothpaste tabs to keep on hand, it makes a huge difference in sneakiness.

-I don’t recommend going for dried foods like granola or cereal unless you can sneak it to a secure place to get it. It’s too loud, it’s a gamble every time for something with less caloric intake than it’s worth if you get caught. Of course, there are times when that’s the only option!!

-if you’re taking milk, add water, but be SURE to shake/agitate the bottle to distribute the dairy fat with the water. I got into the habit of shaking milk jugs when I started sneaking it, and explained the habit as something I read in an old comic strip my father showed me. (Back when whole milk had a lot more cream fats and they’d separate, so shaking it would redistribute the cream.) I still shake milk jugs to this day.

-if your windows open or don’t have screens, eat leaning out an open window. Any food mess will be lost in the dirt. I was lucky I had bushes and birds outside that would catch my granola bar crumbs before anyone could notice.

-canned goods are tempting, but not worth it. It requires too many tools (can opener/strained sometimes/utensils/some need heat) stick to thinks like various nut butters (sunflower/peanut/almond), crackers, dried fruit, and easy to conceal food bars (nature valley/nutrigrain/etc.) dried ramen packets are good uncooked if you can stand the texture. Apple sauce and pudding cups are also easier to sneak and stash than one might think, and can be eaten with your fingers. The only canned foods I recommend are condensed soups and precooked pasta (spaghetti-o’s). You can easily mix them with a little bit of hot water from the tap and get something more sustaining than a handful of captain Crunch. The cans are cheap, sometimes recyclable, and drinking soup takes way less time than chewing solid food.

-if you menstruate, attempt to stash pads/tampons in a safe location. Sometimes shit happens. Pads can work as bandages in emergency situations. Sometimes shark week comes unexpectedly. If you can sneak a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, these are also life savers.

-plastic utensils from takeout containers can be hidden inside socks and will be worth their weight in gold when you least expect it. I bought myself a tiny plastic bowl from the dollar store and kept cheap trinkets in it on my desk so it didn’t seem like a bowl I was eating out of. You could try this with something like a mason jar, which is also useful for drinking out of or storing water.

-if you’re eating a crunchy or solid food, try soaking it in water. Mushy food can be repulsive in texture, but I could clock the sound of someone eating a nature valley oat bar from like 6 miles away. Dunking it in water (or using a secret bowl+water) can reduce noise, and also eating time since you don’t have to chew as much.

-keep a laundry bar or tide pen on you. Laundry bars are super useful, a little hard to find though. I washed a lot of stains out of my clothes with laundry bars in my bathroom sink as a kid. Not proud if it, but it kept me flying under the radar at school.

-clear rubber bands, plain twine or string, paper clips, and thumb tacks. Indescribably useful. I once rigged a system to open tricky cabinets and get objects from inside using two paper clips and a foot of plain string like a mock lasso system.

-if you’re pulling objects from tall cabinets, use your chest or stomach to cushion them. Let them fall into your torso and then into your hands cradled underneath. Not as loud, not as much grabbing, if someone sees it they can mistake it for it falling on you by the body language.

-get a bandana. Or four. Napkins, bandages, tool, and accessory all in one.

-get a tiny sewing kit. I’m talking 3 needles and a spool of thread tiny. Scissors if you can sneak it. See things into your clothes. Make hidden pockets or compartments. Threadbanger on YouTube did a video a few years ago about sneaking things into music festivals using tiny clothing mods, but they may be useful in sneaking money or medicine.

-on the topic of sneaking money. don’t take bills, take change. If your abusers don’t meticulously count their nickels and pennies, they’re an easy(ish) way to build up a tiny savings pool. I found nickels the least noticed coin I took, even more than pennies, and taking two every few nights from where they’d be tossed on our countertop soon built up to a semi-reliable fund I passed off to someone to get me food for my stash without having to sneak it from the kitchen. As soon as I became “independent” in my food storage, I was subjected to much less scrutiny. I managed to build up a solid 1-2 week ration supply after hoarding change.

-you can tape SD cards to the inside of book dust covers(the part that folds inside the actual cover of the book), if you have a sewing kit or zipper on it inside the stuffing of your pillow (trim a corner, stuff it inside, stitch it closed) or (this is final resort) VERY CAREFULLY remove the covering from your outlet and tape it to the wall stud before replacing the casing. I kept mine inside part of my wooden bed frame that I hollowed out using, you guessed it, take out silverware knives and 4 nights without sleep.

-THE FLOOR IS LAVA WAS KEY TRAINING FOR ME AS A CHILD. I learned to take pillows with me, climb on furniture to disrupt my flow of movement, toss a pillow down, and use that to cushion any rattle our living room could give off as I crept to the kitchen from the side entrance so my mom’s dog wouldn’t bark or alert anyone. I highly suggest crawling around on all fours like some sort of beast to stay out of sight.

-can you run your house blindfolded?? If you can’t. Maybe you should try to learn. I suffered some heavy eye traumas growing up and had a collective 3-4 months just IN THE DARK. Eyes bandaged, left alone. It was terrible, but damn if I couldn’t navigate the whole place silently, without any visual cues. This helps a lot with the whole moving around in the dark thing, too. Listening is obviously key.

-if your parents start getting suspicious, or you’re suspicious they’re getting suspicious, watch out for traps. String on the ground that gets shifted when you walk on it. Baby powder or flour left to track footprints or doors opening/closing. My dad was partial to wrapping a bungee cord around my doorknob and attaching it to the closet across the hallway. I wouldn’t be able to open my door enough to get out, or if I did, I risked ruining the structural integrity of the wrappings he did, and he would notice.

-learn to tie some knots. Strong ones. They’ll come in handy at one point or another.

-remember that you’re not totally alone. There’s people out there for you. Wanting to make everything better. You don’t deserve what’s happening, it isn’t normal, and you will eventually find help. But staying safe is important, and you are important.

It upsets me that people might need to know these but I know it could really help someone by reblogging

ALWAYS REBLOG

Things that have helped me over the years:

•Keeping a $10 bill on the inside of my phone case for emergencies. My mother will search my wallet and bags but has not taken my phone case off when she takes my phone as of yet.

•stashing loose change I find in the soil of my potted plant. Very quiet hiding place for coins. All bills are quickly confiscated but coins I have managed to hold onto this way

•changing food stash locations constantly. A good stash I’ve found is buried in my mice seed mix. Small packages or granola bars can fit in there pretty easily and the wrappers are flushable (I know it’s bad to flush them but my trash is routinely searched)

• always deleting online traces in case of phone/computer search. This includes search history, forbidden apps, messages, pictures, notes, games, etc. I don’t know how many times I have deleted the tumblr app during the day only to re download it late at night to use it. My phone and computer are constantly confiscated and gone through with a fine tooth comb. I delete anything I might possibly get in trouble for after I use it and re download it when I need it again. Don’t delete all your browsing history though, they will notice if it’s suspiciously empty. Fill it with safe and approved stuff and remove anything you might get punished for.

•learning what each and every door in the house sounds like so I know who is where at all times without having to leave the room

•learning where those ‘sweet spots’ are in the house where you can notice anyone coming before they can see you or what you are doing

•always having a pre-approved cover. I use books and preaching videos as covers. I can hide a phone in a book or quickly switch apps to the one playing the video if surprised or discovered.

• always being aware of ‘the trail’. If I tell a friend something who tells their sibling who tells my sibling who tells my mom I get punished so basically tell no one and it won’t come back to bite you. This includes talking about tv shows/movies that are forbidden, forbidden foods/drinks, activities, apps, games, friends, political views, etc. Express an opinion and it’s bound to reach someone you don’t want it to.

•never take from your abuser’s personal stash of food or money. The family pantry is fair game to carefully pilfer from and so is loose change but never take from their personal purse/wallet, fridge, pantry, or stash. They WILL find out.

•beware of traps and manipulation . My mother will leave money and food unattended and wait for it to disappear. She will also act like she wants to do a good thing and help you out but in the end you will pay for it a hundred times over. Avoid this if at all possible.

• NEVER develop a false sense of security. I have made the mistake of not deleting an app (Pinterest) because there had been a few weeks between phone searches and I felt a little safer. I got caught and severely punished. ALWAYS COVER YOUR TRACKS. Don’t get too confident in your methods, eventually they will find something. Make sure it’s something minor.

I just want to point out that when deleting apps, make sure to check that the app store you use doesn’t record what was recently installed. I know that the Google Play Store does this and allows you to delete things from your history, but I don’t know anything about Apple.

Apple does, in the purchased section of an account, so don’t have a false sense of security for apple apps and always try to use websites with no cookies.

Apps for screeensharing to TVs (such as Samsungcast) also have search tools so if you clear your history you can also use that and make sure to clear it. Just don’t play a video or it might end up showing on the TV screen.

I feel so sad that so many of you guys go through this all the time. Rebooting to spread the word.

Stay safe my lovelies

So, so unfortunately important. Reblogging because I would’ve loved to have had seen this growing up - I figured most of it out on my own, of course, but through an amount of trial, error, and traumatic consequences no child should ever have to go through.

-if your bedroom door was anything like mine, there is a large enough gap from the floor to the bottom of the door that anytime I got out of bed or walked around the room, the door would jangle. Try putting a small but heavy object flush against the door.

-bring a large cup to pee in when it is not safe for you to leave your room or space. be sure to sneak it down a drain as soon as possible.

-other foods to stash away include trail mix, breakfast bars, fruits and veggies. a couple slices of bread and cheese aren’t as easily missed either.

-i have had luck taping paper money to the underside of our rug.

-be aware that you will likely carry the weight of this time with you for a long while. most of my nightmares still take place in my childhood home, where i haven’t lived in over five years.

-but above all else, this time won’t last forever. you will make it out. i’ve got faith in you.

Hey@mrsmamarhodey idk if you’ve seen this but it’s good advice? I hate that anyone would have to go through this but I feel it may help Honey? ~ Foxy

Bee I will protect you with everything. ~ A

For all of my kids in unsafe home situations. I love you, be safe.

Also, for those of you in situations where you are not believed: as tempting as it is do NOT try and prove it with your phone. Especially if they search it. Please, please don’t do that. Find another way if you absolutely must prove the mistreatment.

-Avoid plastic and paper. They russle a lot, especially when you’re trying to be quiet. As stated above pillowcases are a godsend.

-If you can access the kitchen during the day (and not get caught doing this) move things you might need, granola on the shelf you can only just barely reach? Pull one bar out and slip it to the lowest shelf in the whole kitchen. Put it somewhere no one will check.

-The bottom of a trash can is NOT a good hiding spot. Tempting I know. I’ve hidden a secret stash under a trash bag. Played it off a few times as being a good kid and taking out the trash. But you would have to be the one to always take it out if you did this. Always. You can’t rely on ‘probablies’.

-Self aid. Go to your school nurse and ask for Band-Aids. School computer lab have alcohol pads so you can clean off the mouse? Take some. They will hurt and burn but a clean wound is so much better than an infected one.

-For those of you with allergies to the Staples (peanut butter, bread, cheese, the like) Beans are your new best friend. They suck but hey, they work.

-AVOID SWEETS. This sucks I know. But sweets leave more behind than a chocolate colored tongue, including a sweetened breath (I got busted so badly once even after scrubbing my tongue.)

And finally,

-Find people you can talk to. My messages are always open, @mrsmamarhodey is here for people as well, and many other blogs will listen. Even if there is nothing else we can do. We will listen. We will believe you. We will be there for you in what ways we can. Please, be safe. Stay alive.

I can’t believe that there are actually kids who are forced to live like this. It makes me so upset. I am now very concerned about the people on this site. Please, all of you, stay safe.

there are things in the list that i personally also have to do, some i don’t have to, and tips i could definitely take for the unknown future. anyways, reblogging this in hopes that it could offer a chance for some of you to stay at least a bit safer. remember, we’re all fighting this together

oh, god.

I know it’s the log-off protest but just before I left the app I saw this.

This was a pretty helpful post, but i do hope none of my followers need this.. 

can i adopt you guys???? nobody should have to go through this, and it breaks my heart :/

just know that it WILL get better. maybe not now, maybe not for years to come but this will not last forever. ily ♥

• I always kept a plastic container with a lid to catch blood or any other fluid when it wasn’t safe to go to the bathroom to properly wash up. I hid it in an old backpack in the closet and cleaned it whenever the coast was clear
• Most obvious hiding places are in the closet, under the bed, in the bottom of drawers and under rugs.
• You can tape small items such as a metro card, prepaid phone, plastic bag of money, birth control or other medications, etc under a desk or even better: open the top drawer of your dresser and tape the item to the bottom of the dresser top. Make sure you can open and close it securely without jarring the item free.
• You can also hide bills in an old DVD case if you are 100% SURE no one will open it.
• If you can get your hands on some good concealer, use it to hide scars and bruises. Abusers will try to isolate you even more if you are a walking display of evidence. Don’t give them any excuse to not let you go to school.
• On this same note, avoid making drastic changes to your appearance (dramatic change to hair cut/dye, tattoos or piercings or wearing any makeup/accessory/clothing that might be deemed “different” for you) Your abuser may perceive this as you acting out or seeking attention, and they do not want you to receive any kind of attention as it may give you an outlet to expose what is happening at home.
• Don’t write things in codes that are obviously codes. Your abuser will not like this if they find it and you will be punished or forced to reveal the code but most likely both. If you can, make a code that would look like something else if found by someone. For example: If hiding say, your email password so you won’t forget, make a list of things beginning with each letter of the password. Draw pictures of your passwords. (Ex. Draw 4 red dogs, your password is RedDog4.)
• Evernote is a great way to hide a digital diary/notebook/photos/contacts that you can delete from your device quickly before a phone search. If you fear you wont have time to delete before a search there is an option to hide your private notebooks so that you can only find them by searching their name and load up some class notes so if your abuser asks about the app you can say it’s for school.
• This is a bit expensive but if you can manage it use an external hardrive for anything on your computer your abuser wouldn’t approve of, from photos and videos to games to creative and programming software, etc.
• I had a friend whose dad didn’t let her talk to boys at all period so if she ever had a group project and the boys would try to text her she assigned them all feminine names in her contact list (Ex Louis became Louise etc) so she could still save their number.

Thank you so much for this.

This doesn’t really match my blog theme but it doesn’t matter. I have some things to add:

• To walk completely silently, even barefoot, start on the outside of your foot and roll off your big toe. This takes practice though. Your bare feet will also be quieter if you have calluses on them, so you want to walk barefoot as much as possible.
• One thing I did was getting well acquainted with the woods. If I needed to avoid people and couldn’t hide in my room, (the door doesn’t have a lock and the consequences would be SO BAD if I blocked it with something), I grab my bag, and try to avoid them + walk silently as I walked outside and hid deep in the woods where they couldn’t find me.
• Never bring your phone (or any electronics) if you choose to escape to a friend’s house/the woods/etc. You don’t know what apps they hid on there, which could track your location.
• When in the woods, I would bury my trash so if a family member decides to explore the woods one day/was actively trying to find where I kept hiding, they wouldn’t find traces.
• About that bag I mentioned. I risked getting caught for this. I have it in my closet with the other bags so it wasn’t suspicious, but if I got the feeling they were suspicious about me, I hid all the stuff in the bag in different places temporarily. In the bag I keep a bottle of 90% isopropyl alcohol (disinfectant) that my aunt gave me as a joke, a small sewing kit (needle, string, scissors) that I stole the components of from my mom’s room, a knife that I also stole from my mom, and some granola bars.
• You can hide things in boxes that appear to be sealed on your shelves. Choose a side, use the corner of your nail, or a small knife if you have one, to slit 3 edges of the plasic on the box on your chosen side. Carefully side the box open so as to not tear the plastic. If there is space, hide your item(s) in the space. If not, take some of the contents out and hide them elsewhere* until you can dispose of them where they won’t find them. Arrange the flap of plastic so it lines up properly (if box is cardboard or similar you can lick the edge of the plastic and place it down, it will stick moderately well and the fact it isn’t in tact will be less noticeable) and put box on shelf so that the cut side is against the back. (I have many time in the past taken a “sealed” box of playing cards and take the right amount of cards out so that after putting whatever I want in, it would weigh the same as a normal box of playing cards. This way if they pulled things off the self, unless they examined the playing card box carefully, it was unlikely that they would notice)
• *if you have a coat/jacket with a liner, you can put holes in your pockets and stitch the liner to the jacket at the bottom so things you put in there will be at the bottom and it will seem like your pockets are empty. Don’t put anything bulky or potentially loud in, or your trick will be exposed immediately. Works great for papers though, and it’s one of the only ways to transport plastic wrappers without being loud. Not coins though.
• Learn how to remove the screen from your window
• Any social media or other restricted thing or anything they could use to stalk me if they found out I had it I use web for, my accounts are under different fake names with different email address I created with different fake names just for them, and my passwords are all long, secure, and MEMORIZED. And I delete my search history of any of those particular things.
• I know how to give myself stitches. This has come in handy.
• Leather = low grade armor. Wear it whenever you can. Then you can take a punch without it being quite so bad.
• There’s a gate at the bottom of the stairs at my house that not only creaks, but the latch is LOUD. I climbed over the railing near the bottom instead, and then walked down the outsides of the last couple of steps.
• How to climb over a railing silently: put hands on railing, swing one leg over so you’re sitting as if on a horse, and then carefully slide your already over leg down so it is touching the outside of the step and at the same time you swing your other leg over and carefully place that foot down.
• If you close a door while holding the handle turned, like how you would if you were opening it, and use your other hand to guide it so it doesn’t hit the door frame, instead lining it up exactly where the latch needs to go, and then slowly rotate the handle back, it is near silent.
• A fluffy sock jammed in the bottom handle-side corner of the door can keep the door from making noise as you walk around your room at night.
• Hide things inside your pillows. Not just your pillow cases, but the pillows themselves. A lot of them have zippers where you can access the fluff, and you can hide things in the fluff. Stuffed animals sometimes have this too.
• Semi-sheer, loose layers will be a lot less hellish and a lot less suspicious in warm weather but can still hide most older cuts/scars that are starting to become less garishly red.
• If you close your eyes for 30 seconds before trying to navigate the dark your eyes will adjust and you will be able to see much better.

To anyone who needs any of the advice above or in similar posts: Good luck, stay safe, and remember that one day this will be over and you will be safe. I know it’s tough but keep going. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.

I absolutely wept when I read this. I remember being a kid and living at home, having to do most of these things to keep myself safe and alive. I’m so sorry that their are so many of you who are going through this. If this is something you’re going through and you just want someone to talk to about it all my inbox is always open. From one survivor to another.

I am so, so sorry.

i know ive reblogged this countless times, but this has some really important additions, please stay safe guys <3

I know this is not ToG related, but, if this can help …

learn to sew,if you can do it well you can open up stuffed animals and fill them with whatever as long as it’s small and not likley to be notice

if you never turn a fan on you can tape ska stuff to the top of it, idk if it will hold if the fan turns on

if you have a trusted friend have them store stuff in their locker/get a lock and put it on an unused locker that way even if they know your locker they can’t get to your stuff

for those who need it

I would hope no one needs to use this but I know there are people that do this for you guys

We got you

Seriously

We’re here for you

Everyone is

For everyone who needs this

Stay safe please

i don’t remember seeing this on the list but during the day i go up and down the stairs and through the house to memorize all the creaky spots so i can avoid them at night

stay safe guys <3

@its-my-mental-breakdown

Thank you darling, I plan on using these tips for my.own hell hole of a house

This is horrible that people have to deal with and also I have a small tip: if your house has a radiator/heater (like mine), time how long it goes on and then when it turns on, RUN and get what you need. I love you all and stay safe!

Sorry for the long ass post but as a child who deals with this, I’ve got a few things to add.

-KEEP SOMETHING MINOR THAT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE. This may seem counterintuitive, but that way if your parents say you’re acting suspicious, you can turn their attention away from something bigger. Additionally, if they catch you nd you have to lie, DON’T go for the classic “I don’t know anything” or “I didn’t do that.” Take the situation and make it a little bit bad but not too much. Example: I had kept scissors in my room for sewing, which I wasn’t supposed to have. So what I did was I said that I had gotten a ponytail holder stuck in my hair and had to cut it out, but that I was scared they would get mad so I hid them.

-As for money, I took a pad out of the wrapper and threw it out, and then used the wrapper to hold money and taped it shut. I kept that in my bag, as if it were a pad for emergencies, and they never suspected.

-If you’re sneaking into the kitchen, fill up a glass with water and stand there for a few minutes drinking it until you’re sure no one is coming to check on you. That way if they do catch you, you can say you were getting a drink of water.

Sjdvkhfufk this was super helpful thank you to everyone who added to this

if u have a vent on ur wall near the ceiling, u can clean the dust away n store things there

always have an escape route mapped out

always have an escape bag, just in case. mine has an extra phone charger, my wallet, a sewing kit, a re-usable water bottle, extra underwear, toilet paper, headphones, a grocery bag, and a small blanket

if u can, try to get a pair of boots that are good for navigating wooded areas

study foraging. u never know how useful info about toxic and non-toxic plants can be

stay safe out there, babes. hope none of u ever have to use these tips

It hurts to know so many of us have had to use info like this just to survive. I’m by o means a popular blog, but I hope anybody who see’s this will either gain some merit from it or repost it for others to see. It sucks living like this, and it follows you well into your life, but sometimes that’s the reality.

Stay safe everyone. You can do this. 

I don’t know WHO needs this right now, but I’m going to reblog this anyway.

Idc that it’s not SdV related.

Hate that this is stuff that people need to know, but it’s important that the people who need this information have it.

Idk if this will work for other people but sometimes I’m able to wrap a blanket around myself and hide stuff under it if my parents are in the way. I use it a lot to sneak food and water upstairs and I can just pass it off as being cold. I’m an absolute freeze baby so they’re not suspicious. Just be sure to make the blanket a semi-common thing, not just when you’re sneaking stuff around. 

Oh and you can put things like crackers, pretzels, and cereal in clean socks (or just a small bag if you have one) if you can’t take the whole container. Just make sure to switch the socks around every now and then because crumbs are a bitch. 

You can also hide food in bras if you wear them. Mostly granola bars for me. If it sticks out then try wearing baggy clothing over it. 

please stay safe, everyone

Pads are the #1 hiding spot for money. You can open it just a little bit, shove money between the folds of the pad, and stick it back in the box

I literally started crying when I was reading this. My heart literally aches to hear that people are actually forced to live a life like this, are expected to act like nothing is wrong, deal with trauma, physical/emotional ab*se, and then have to go through all of it over and over again, and then are forced to go to school, act like everything is okay, then gets yelled at by a teacher, is expected to do so much, and even get a good education and try to communicate with others 
(safely)? This is so painful. The fact that we even need to write down how to sneak food alone is one of themost painful things that I’ve had to read, i am so so sorry that you’re going through this. 

If you guys ever need help, please don’t be afraid to reach out. If this wasn’t reblogged, I never would have seen this, so PLEASE REBLOG so that other people can receive help, stay safe. 

You guys are so unbelievably strong. 

I know this post probably feels never ending and I’m sorry for adding onto it but my situation was with an emotionally and mentally unstable abuser who could go from screaming and threatening to beat me for ruining her marriage to crying to me about her struggles and her pain. It was hard to feel sympathetic to someone who would hurt me so often and so badly, but standing numb got me called a demon and a heartless monster.

Learn how to act sad, scared, sympathetic, etc. If you show no reaction they can and will do more to get a reaction out of you, but if you show their actions are “working” then they’ll be satisfied. Another thing that while at first is kinda risky, if you need to take a second to hide anything when they call your name, sit for a few seconds (about thirty) then go. That way it’s less suspicions when you gotta take a bit to quickly hide something.

Towels, while they seem useful, can be horrible. They’re hard to wash and the rough texture can agitate wounds on those with sensitive skin. Toilet paper soaks up and rips easily so paper towels were my answer. That might not be universal, but no one would notice if a few more sheets of paper towels went missing.

Hey, so I have some things to say:

These tips will and can save your life in shit life situations, but know that the habits won’t suddenly leave once you are out.

You will walk quieter, you will be aware of things that maybe others perceive as abnormal, and you will have developed LIFE SAVING habits that may not mesh with the world outside what could be consider your hell. 

That is okay. Breathe. You learned them, and you can unlearn them, and you will and can manage. You surviving is the important part. 

The truth is, You weren’t the first person, and you won’t be the last, that developed trauma survival techniques, there are people and resources that can and will help you once it is safe for you to reach out.

• If you need to throw something out and can’t take it with you outside of the house, try to hide in in the middle of the trash bag, not at the bottom.
• Kleenex packages are a good place to hide bills, in between the tissues (just make sure that it’s not visible from the sides or the top), and you can take it with you anywhere by claiming you feel a cold coming on.
• If your abusers give you money to buy something and don’t go with you, you can lie and say it was just a tiny bit more expensive than it really was. Do this a couple of times and you can start building some savings, and it can be quicker than stealing pennies. Just make sure it’s not a product they regularly buy or a store they usually go to, so they won’t know the price anyway.
• Whenever possible, take stuff that comes in cans or boxes or noisy wrappers out of that container and store it somewhere else, like a smaller bottle or bag.
• This may not apply to everyone, but be careful of what information you give your abusers. Even stuff that seems meaningless can be used against you later.
• If you have a bookcase, you can hide stuff behind the books
• Gum has been a lifesaver for me. First, it cheats your mind into thinking you’re less hungry than you actually are. Two, if you were eating something that you weren’t supposed to and don’t have time to brush your teeth, it helps mask the smell.
• Hider Apps. These are apps that you can install that hide anything you want on your phone, such as other apps, pictures, etc. It shows up as a calculator, so it’s pretty inconspicuous to anyone searching your phone. It has a password, so what you have to do to access it is tap the right numbers on the calculator and then it lets you access the hidden stuff. The one I know only works for Android, but maybe there are some options for iPhone too.
• If you live in a building, look around to see if there are any spots you can hide something there outside of your apartment - it might not work permanently, but if your abusers are doing a sweep of the house, it can be an option.
• Anything you steal from them, do it in very small instalments. Like, say you want to build yourself a sowing kit, steal one item at a time over some time so it’s harder for them to notice. Similarly, with food, it’s better to get just a tiny bit of each thing in your pantry you can access than to take a slightly bigger quantity of only one thing.
• If you’re worried they’re searching your room when you’re not in the house, you can put something in front of the door that’ll be moved if they open it. Use something like an eraser, so if they see it, you can always just say you dropped it.
• Also, if they are searching your room, it may be better to take the most important stuff with you when you leave or ask someone you trust to gard it for you.
• The sound of the shower running can help drown out other sounds like from opening a food wrapper or of chewing.
• If they ever come in when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to/have something forbidden laying around, *act normal*. If you do so, they may not even notice the thing. Serioursly, whatever you do don’t scramble to hide it.
• When keeping a stash of food, be careful with stuff that might go bad.
• Food supplements. I used to keep one that was a powder, so it dissolved in water, but there are other types too. These can give you the calories and nutrients of a meal, while also being easy to store.
• If you can snatch stuff that they were going to throw away, it can be useful to you - I’m thinking old clothes that can be used as cleaning rags or old pillow cases that become containers, etc.
• And this has been said before, but I cannot stress it enough: do not let your guard down. It sounds awful and that’s absolutely no way to live, but I can’t tell you how many times I got screwed because things were better for a little while and I stopped taking as many precautions.

New video kittens! It’s all about nails! ❤️❤️❤️

New tips and tricks tutorial! Full tutorial available for kofi supporters! Hope you find it helpful!

https://ko-fi.com/pixelationgirl

i have desided to take OC aesthetic requests!

if you have questions please read my aesthetic Q&A page (click here) as it explains my rules. 

hey y’all, i am revamping this blog, and just redid my Q&A page.

please check it out!

(click here)

Welcome to this blog attempt!

I have never taught makeup to anyone. In fact I haven’t been doing it for such a long time, but everybody tells me I’m doing it right, so I thought I should share the tricks I developed over time.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not a pro! I don’t want to pretend I am! But I like makeup A LOT! I try to learn as much as I can on the subject and I like to try new techniques and products. Everything here is only my opinion, based on my experience! Some products might not work as well for you, it’s part of the game, sadly!

When I started doing makeup, I did not want to achieve big glamorous looks with crazy eyeshadow and glitter everywhere. My main goal was to feminize my face as much as possible so that I could pass in public. I never really wanted to draw attention to me, in fact I wanted to achieve quite the opposite. Look like the girl next door.

So, if you are here for flashy makeup, glam looks and the likes, you are not on the good blog!

Of course, makeup can be expensive. I’m not rich, so I try to find good stuff at reasonable prices, either online or in store. Don’t worry, no need to break the bank at Sephora or MAC!

I hope it will help some of you get started!

Hello my lovelies! Hope you are all well? Hope these mid-year blues haven’t attacked you - can you believe it is June already? HOW? June 2017? Anyway, I digress. 

I hope that today’s post is helpful to you out there - whether you are in school or working or just trying to figure life out in general. Sometimes we find ourselves in extremely stressful situations - exam time, work deadlines etc etc but I think it is important to keep your outer cool no matter what. That being said, I thought I would share with you some tips on how to look like you have everything under control, even on the days when you actually don’t. The idea is to look like nothing phases you - you stay fly no matter what. 

These tips are mainly focused on your outward appearance, I will write a post on how to keep calm inside your head when you feel like you are drowning in life. 

Hair

No matter what style you are rocking - natural hair, braids, weaves, relaxed hair, wigs always always always make sure it looks fresh! It might require some extra effort eg. styling your hair before bed (something I used to do when I was natural) to save time in the morning, or wrapping your hair before bed or braiding your weave before bed or even wearing clip in extensions on bad hair days. You need to invest a little time into this schbang (that’s if you care) or else you will always look like you are trying to catch up with yourself. Rocking 3 month old braids with visible dandruff is not a good look - neither for the academic nor the corporate world. If you notice that you don’t have time to get your braids redone in good time, get some dry shampoo or braid spray and do a little DIY at least once a week. For more haircare tips, click here 

Me rocking some braids - I keep em looking fresh by laying my edges daily and scarfing them at night 

Eyebrows

Girl! Even if you do not fill in your eyebrows everyday, trimming or plucking or waxing or tweezing them is all you need! There is nothing like a clean brow and you will notice a difference in your face instantly! Keep your brows neat and tidy - they give the illusion of you wearing makeup (see the difference below)

Clothing 

In general stay away from overly casual clothing (depending on the occasion of course).  I generally stay away from t-shirts, mini skirts, shorts, ripped jeans (unless that is the look I am going for ). Combining these items with flip flops makes you look like you just rolled out of bed and didn’t put in any effort - we are trying to look like we are on top of things. Also if you do want to wear jeans and a tshirt and flip flops, make sure you consider your accessories so you look like you tried (see Riri below)

I am not saying you cannot look fly in ripped jeans and a t-shirt however, I think to look more put together, overly casual clothing doesn’t make the cut without being properly styled. 

I try to avoid wearing flip flops and stick with sandals or heels - I particularly like a low heeled sandal or if I am wearing ‘slippers’ they have to have a twist to them ;) Keep your sandals stylin’ so that even if you don’t rock heels, you stay cute. (I feel a blog post coming on?)

Jewellery & Accessories 

This is a major major key for me! I loovveee jewellery and accessories. At any given time you will catch me wearing my watch, earrings and at least one necklace. If you cash me on a less simple day, we will throw in a couple of rings and bracelets to the mix. Accessories (doesn’t have to be loud or make a statement) always elevate your look and make you look like you tried. The trick is to invest in at least one gold necklace (if you can) and just wear it all the time - that is if you are the type of person who doesn’t like to take off their jewels.Get a cute watch - doesn’t have to be expensive and keep it cute! You can get very affordable watches on ASOS, H&M and even Amazon. 

I have a discount code for the #odaraonline website - http://myodara.com/ so you don’t really have an excuse. Use my code #SHARMSONLINE2K17 to get 10% off whichever jewels you decide to buy, some of my faves are their dainty necklaces and their simple stud earrings

Light Makeup 

Dab your face at least once a day with some blotting paper (I use regular tissue if I am honest) to get rid of the grease and shine. I carry a bag of lipsticks with me so I am spoilt for choice when it comes to re-applying after lunch or after work. I know not everyone wears makeup to work my current product list for work includes transluscent powder, mascara and lipstick (of course with my eyebrows drawn on - I never leave those at home). A touch of lipstick or even lip balm makes you look like at least you tried

Does anyone have anyother tips they use to look put together at all times? Cos I see some of you ladies and you look forever beat! Share the love, comment below! 

Until next time, make sure you are subscribed to my beauty blog and my YouTube Channel so you don’t miss a thing!

#hairstyle #afro #naturalhair #relaxedhair #hairstyles #hair #haircut #haircolor #haircuts #hairextensions #hairstylist #hairgoals #hairstyling #haironfleek #longhair #hairfashion #hairideas #hairdresser #hairdye #hairporn #haircare #beautyblog #beautyblogger #beautyinfluencer #ghana #ghanablogs

xx

Sharms 

homeworkforpigeons:

to everyone else in school right now: 

please use sparknotes. please use khan academy. please listen to school house rock songs and watch the history of the entire world i guessandtim and mobyandbill nye. any documentary you watch in class can be found somewhere online with a quick google. get your books from project gutenbergandz-lib. download textbooks off the internet whenever you can find them. use desmos for a free online graphing calculator. if you’re learning something and you don’t get it look up the wikipedia page on it and put it into simple english to get the gist, then put it back into regular english to get the full story. cheat if you have to. school sucks so bad rn and if you’re like me and you get all your materials secondhand or from the lost and found, online resources are really useful rn; all of the above have helped me pass a class in some way, and i hope they can help you too.

stay inside and stay safe. best of luck to all the students out there.