#token black

KENNY:Oh god…

KENNY:Ohhh shit– pick up the damn phone for chrissake– 

TOKEN:Kenny…?

TOKEN: You alright?

KENNY:No I ain’t alright!

KENNY:Karen hung up on me!

TOKEN:Oh…

TOKEN: Does that mean you’re done with my phone, then?

KENNY:N-no, no I gotta try n’ call her again.

KENNY:Just.

KENNY:Just gimmie a sec, she’s gotta pick up…

TOKEN:Right… take your time, dude..

KENNY:There’s no time to take!

KENNY:She hung up right after she said some damnstrangerwas in the house!

TOKEN:Oh, jeez…

KENNY:God dammit, I think she turned her phone off…!

KENNY:Oh god oh god, what thehell am I gonna do thirty fucking miles out of town?!

TOKEN: It’ll be okay Kenny, I’m sure–

KENNY:No, it’s not gonna be okay! 

KENNY: Who knows who or what is in that house with her, look at where we are right now!

CRAIG:Hey.

CRAIG:Do you guys wanna shut up,maybe?

CRAIG:You’re distracting me from my shit.

TOKEN:Oh, sorry Craig…

TOKEN:Kenny’s having some issues with Karen, I think.

CRAIG:Uhuh…

CRAIG:I don’t care.

CRAIG:[grumble grumble]

CRAIG:(Can’t even browse tumblr without someone getting hay shoved up their ass right in front of me…)

CRAIG:(Why are either of them even still awake.)

CRAIG:(Why do I have to be cooped up in a stupid barn with all these people right now…)

CRAIG:(Why is–)

CRAIG: 

CRAIG:Whhhh…

CRAIG:W–

CRAIG:That’s m–

CRAIG:That’s my blog.

CRAIG:This is on my blog.

CRAIG:Th–

CRAIG:…

CRAIG:WHAT IS THIS SHIT DOING ON MY BLOG???

CRAIG:I–

KENNY:Craig???

KENNY:What’s the matter, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you yell so loud in your life!

STAN:Yeah, shut the hell up over there, some of us are trying to sleep.

CRAIG:…Y…you shut up…!

CRAIG:Fuck your sleep, I have a problem!

STAN:Yeah, I know, we kind of got teleported here by a freaking demon, dude.

STAN:We’veall got problems right now, you’re not special.

CRAIG:I’ll kick your ass!

STAN:Go ahead, it’s already facing right towards you.

STAN: I’ll even wiggle it a little to make it a moving target, if you wanna make a game out of it.

CRAIG:WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

TOKEN: Jesus, dude, what’s wrong?

CRAIG:Besides Stan Marsh being as stupid as ever?!

KENNY:We mean what the hell made you yell so loud, dude???

CRAIG:Oh, I’ll tell you!

CRAIG: This guy is posting shitty selfies of himself on my blog!

CRAIG:MY blog, and he has the audacity to post them with–

CRAIG:W-with…

CRAIG:Withhim sitting right next to him like it’s nothing!

CRAIG:There’s a circus in my house and I’ll bet you money it was that stupid Tweek demon guy who led us all away so they could party it up in my room!

CRAIG:We should have never let that stupid goat take us all the way out here.

CRAIG:Now they’re all fiddling with my shit and probably having a laugh about it, look at him in this picture!

CRAIG:Look at who’s in the fucking picture with him!!!

KENNY: OH GOD…

CRAIG:Oh god is right!

CRAIG:They’re messing with all my shit!!!

CRAIG: I’m freaking the hell out!

CRAIG:I’m so fucking close to kiCKING STAN’S STUPID ASS STOP SHAKING YOUR BUTT AROUND YOU FUCKING DELIRIATE.

STAN:maybe shut up first lol

KENNY:OH MY GOD, KAREN!

KENNY:SHE SAID SHE WAS HANGING OUT WITH YOUR SISTER IN YOUR HOUSE, CRAIG.

KENNY:SHE HUNG UP AND WON’T ANSWER MY CALLS!

TOKEN: They tried to chuck us all off the side of a bridge, who knows what they could be doing right now?!

CRAIG:TOUCHING MY SHIT IS WHAT THEY’RE DOING!!!

CRAIG:Touching my shit, putting pictures of themselves and Thomas’s corpse sitting in my bedroom!

TOKEN: Craig, I think this is a little more important than them touching your computer!

TOKEN:They could have hurt your guys’ sisters!

CRAIG:BUT LOOK AT WHAT HE POSTED ON MY BLOG!!!!!

KENNY:Craig, I know it’s probably goddamn traumatizing to see that shit right now!!!

KENNY:I know it’s hard for you to grasp this sorta thing during a meltdown.

KENNY:I’msorry you’re having a difficult time with all of this crap, but there’s people actually in danger in your house right now, man!

CRAIG: Don’t tell me I’m having a meltdown!

TOKEN: Oh my god,okay–

TOKEN:Kenny, let’s just pull ourselves away for a minute here.

CRAIG:Don’t turn your backs on me like that!!!

TOKEN:JustignoreCraig for a second.

TOKEN: There’s demons in Craig’s house, Karen and Craig’s sister are in Craig’s house– what do you think should be done?

TOKEN: What can we possibly do from here?

KENNY: I ain’t got a damn clue!

KENNY:Wegotta get someone over there to help them out!

TOKEN: Okay, well maybe that isn’t such a good idea?

TOKEN:We’ve seen what they can do, right?

TOKEN:Is it smart to drag someone else into this?

KENNY: Token, you don’t have a freakin’ sister, you don’t know what this is like.

TOKEN:Okay.You’re right.

TOKEN:But I don’t know if–

KENNY:Wait.

TOKEN: What is it, man?

KENNY: I know exactly who to call.

KENNY:Ain’t no way he’s tangled all up in this mess yet, neither.

KENNY:Won’t gonna get his ass whooped neither.

TOKEN:Okay, well who’s that?

KENNY:My boyfriend.

DOGPOO: snrrk nsnzznnzzzzzzzzzzz…,.

[ ♫ I’M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WORLD ♫ ]

[ ♫ LIFE IN PLASTIC, IT’S FANTASTIC ♫ ]

DOGPOO:fhnfnhmmghfghg

DOGPOO:[yawn]

DOGPOO:An unknown caller disrupting my sleep, now…?

DOGPOO:Justwho on earth could be calling me at this devilish hour of the night…?

DOGPOO:Mmhhello–

KENNY:Hushpuppy stain in the rug, we got some demon huntin’ to do!

KENNY:Grab yer damn shooter n’ get ready to pump lead!!!

DOGPOO:KENNY???

KENNY:Damn right!

DOGPOO:DEMON HUNTING?

DOGPOO: Y’AIN’T PULLIN ME, ARE YOU NOW?

KENNY: Hell no, I ain’t whistlin’ no dixie over here, I’m a gallon o’ gas aways from town and the fuckin’ devil’s stampin’ his hooves in town!

KENNY: Get your red ryder and get ready to shoot some damn eyes out!

DOGPOO: You soundoh so serious, I hardly recognize the tone, honeypot!

DOGPOO: Your words shot me wide awake quicker than the smell of pie in the morning, I just can’t resist a shootin’ with you!

KENNY:I’m serious!

KENNY: I’m cooped up in a barn outta town, and there’s demons runnin’ amok with my damn sister out there!

KENNY: She’s up in a heap of danger and I ain’t got nobody in the world I’d trust more than youto keep her safe right now.

KENNY:Never been more serious in my life, ragamuffin.

DOGPOO:Oh.

DOGPOO:Karen’s caught in the throes of the devil, is she now?

DOGPOO:Seems we really ain’t playing rockahorse.

KENNY: I don’t joke around when it comes to who I love, don’t go reckonin’ I’d do it to you.

DOGPOO: I see.

DOGPOO:Well then, I’d be duller than the heel of my boot if I didn’t think I could do something about that, wouldn’t I?

DOGPOO: A demon or two doesn’t quite sound like nothin’ a shell can’t handle.

KENNY:Dogpoo, these are serious folks you’re gonna be ditzin’ around with.

KENNY:Damn near chucked me n’ my friends off a bridge a couple hours back.

DOGPOO:I still don’t see the issue here, darlin’.

DOGPOO:You might have death’s hand hovering your shoulder, but one look at me and they’ll be wishing they were busy chopping onionsinstead.

DOGPOO:I’ll get your sister out of the slick, just you wait.

KENNY:Alright. I trust you, mudskip.

KENNY: You’re the rankest varmint this side of Colorado, if anybody’s gonna get them runnin’, it’s you.

DOGPOO: A threat is nothing more than a man who’s pride is in his hands, not his skin.

KENNY:You really grabbin’ your shotty, yeah?

DOGPOO: Would you expect anythingless after you’ve excited me so?

DOGPOO:I’ve got an itchy finger just beggin’ for a trigger to pull now.

KENNY:Okay, good. 

KENNY:But keep them earholeswide for me, water nugget.

KENNY:You gotta be real damn careful.

DOGPOO: I believe we’ve been over this already, Kenny.

DOGPOO:Am I to understand you’re doubting my abilities here?

KENNY:Not at all.

KENNY: These people ain’t just strangers, though.

KENNY:Well, most of them, anyhoo.

KENNY:Youwillknow one of them, for sure.

KENNY:I ain’t got a clue on how many of them are there, but they’re all stuck up in Tucker’s house.

KENNY:Stick your barrel in the nose of any horned bastard you so damn please, but for the love of all mighty…

KENNY:Don’t let that poor bastard Thomas stick around them.

DOGPOO: You’ll need to be more specific than that,sweetie pie.

DOGPOO:There’s a few Thomas’ in this town that come to mind off of the top of my head.

KENNY:Look, I ain’t gonna dilly dally here– you’ll know what I mean if you see ‘em. 

DOGPOO: Alright, so your shopping list here’s one Karen, one Thomas, and a face o’ lead for a demon or two, huh?

KENNY:Craig’s sister’s there with Karen.

DOGPOO:Only logical, considering what residence I’m being pointed off to.

KENNY:I don’t care what’s done.

KENNY:Just get those kids outta there.

DOGPOO:Anything for you, sunshine.

DOGPOO:Ain’t a day where you can’t count on me.

KENNY: I know.

KENNY:I love you.

DOGPOO:Love you too.

DOGPOO: Well, I suppose there isn’t anything like a two AM witch hunt…

DOGPOO: Oh, poor Kenny… whatever have you gotten yourself into this time.

GREGORY:Oh my, seems Craig’s little online army doesn’t have a care at all that I’ve taken command of his weblog.

GREGORY: Estella, there are people who are actually curious about thetrueside of things, would you believe that?

ESTELLA:Are youreally fiddling around with that stupid thing over there?

ESTELLA:Of course you couldn’t hold back from sating your bloated ego, you needed electronic strangers to help inflate it even further, you limp, detached and wounded tail of a diseased lizard.

GREGORY:Goodness, there are questions regarding both you and I, you know.

GREGORY:I haven’t so much as talked about myself at all, mind you.

ESTELLA:Why are there people attempting to talk to me through that device.

ESTELLA:Are you truly so stupid as to inform everybody of our whereabouts?

GREGORY:Heavens,no.

GREGORY:Just having some fun, is all.

GREGORY:You should join me with this one, spare yourself a moment why don’t you.

ESTELLA:Ugh, if it will get you off my back, fine.

GREGORY: Now this one asks what our impression of each of those incessant dullards Craig calls friends is.

ESTELLA: All of them are as stale and boring as a long forgotten water biscuit fallen beneath a dumpster.

GREGORY:Right you are.

ESTELLA:Can I get back to what I was doing, now?

GREGORY:Not quite, I think I’d fancy tearing down the walls of each individual here.

GREGORY: It’s only fair that these curious strangers get their just earful.

ESTELLA:[sigh]

ESTELLA:If you insist.

GREGORY: I suppose we might as well start with the most likely focus of interest, the original owner of this log.

GREGORY:Craig.

GREGORY:You know originally, I didn’t have all too much of an issue with this brain dead husk of a man.

GREGORY: I told him.

GREGORY:If he doesn’tfuckwith me, I would have no qualms against him.

ESTELLA:And yet here you are, still plucking splinters from the backside of your head.

GREGORY:I could tell he was going to be a problem from the start, I just figured he’d be too slow and careless to be much of an actualthreat.

ESTELLA:I’d almost say it’s adorable how angry you are over such a nuisance of a boy; But you’refartoo revolting to ever be adorable, so I will just say it’s amusing.

GREGORY:…

GREGORY: I don’t like him.

GREGORY:I’ll leave it at that.

ESTELLA:I couldn’t care less for that gelatinous clump of blue ink.

GREGORY:I suppose next would be his subordinate friend– Clyde, is it?

GREGORY:The one you stupidly chose to take control of.

GREGORY: Over just about any othercandidate.

ESTELLA:Ido not need to be reminded.

ESTELLA:He was simply the most emotionally compromised at the time.

GREGORY: It’s become clear that’s just how he always is.

ESTELLA: You sure took your oh so pleasant time getting me out of that putrid cauldron of body odor and unpleasantly placed hair.

ESTELLA:He’s quite revolting when he’s all alone, do you know this?

GREGORY:Do you mean… more so than you find othermen to be, or…

ESTELLA:Yes, I do mean more so.

ESTELLA: You have no idea the things I had to sit through with that horrid, small manhooded caveman.

GREGORY:I’m sure.

GREGORY:I have no real feelings towards him either way, though he seems a little too keen on Tweek for my liking.

GREGORY:Or, I should say, Tweekseems a little too trusting of him.

GREGORY: So in turn, I am not too fond of him, either.

GREGORY:Now, the one I find the most tolerable of the bunch is certainly Token.

GREGORY:I remember him well from when I was still alive.

GREGORY:Truly, if there were anybody to rival Wendy and I’s intellectual abilities together, it would be him.

ESTELLA: Well, he did throw all of us under the bus by telling Damien exactlywhat we’ve been up to on the surface, so I do not think I canpossiblysee him in the same light as you.

GREGORY: Oh, well I suppose there is that.

ESTELLA: Other than that, I find him a rather boring, simple minded individual.

ESTELLA:He could die the most foul and upsetting death imaginable, and I would not think any different of him– same goes for the rest of those boys.

GREGORY: Mm, well, I still think I find him the most bearable of the bunch.

ESTELLA:If you say so, you blood-drunk man loving tick.

ESTELLA: Let’s talk about the best of the bunch, why don’t we?

GREGORY: Oh? Do you suddenly have a favorite?

ESTELLA:Why yes Ido.

ESTELLA:Stan, of course.

GREGORY:Oh.Him.

GREGORY:That thick-headed, good for nothing drain on society…

GREGORY:That’s who your favorite is?

ESTELLA:Yes indeed.

ESTELLA:I just love it when the real you comes out.

ESTELLA:Look at you now. Can’t help your horns from showing, you’re just soupset that anybody could possibly like that van-hit skunk.

ESTELLA:As if I’d actuallyenjoy him any more than the other bloody idiots.

GREGORY: There are few people more deserving of hell than Stan Marsh.

ESTELLA:I could think of many, but if you take such offense to your own personal death, I won’t stop you from thinking of that.

ESTELLA:My, you’re so much more pleasant to be around when you’re angry…

ESTELLA:My opinion of him is rather neutral, but he’s a man so there isn’t much about him that’s favorable anyways.

GREGORY: Let’s talk about his counterpart instead.

ESTELLA:And who would that be?

GREGORY:Kyle.

GREGORY:The bloke with the ugly green ushanka.

ESTELLA:Oh,thatcollapsed anal cavity of a sewer rat.

ESTELLA:The opinionated one who thinks his insufferably bland words actually matter.

ESTELLA: Rather rich, but that’s all I can give him.

GREGORY:He’s always thought of himself as some sort of martyr of first world problems.

GREGORY:I’m sure if he wasn’t so full of himself he’d be less of a drain to talk to.

ESTELLA:Funny, that’s how I feel about you.

ESTELLA:You’re really just describing yourself, you know.

GREGORY: When I fight for justice, I’m not doing it to make myself feel good.

GREGORY:I do it for those who cannot take action themselves.

ESTELLA:Oh, I’m sure youlovetotell yourself that.

GREGORY:Speaking of selfish drains…

GREGORY:It truly shows how utterly stupid all of Stan’s friends are, still hanging around that tub of lard Eric.

ESTELLA:He didn’t really speak much while I was around, so all he is to me is another worthless sausage on a rusted old pan.

GREGORY: All I saw was that he still looks like he’s 10, and certainly still soundslike it.

ESTELLA:Smells like it, too.

GREGORY:I never did like the boy, he completely ruined an entire covert operation, you know?

GREGORY:Directly caused the death of a fellow comrade.

GREGORY:Of course we were all turned back before the war, thus nullifying all of our actions henceforth, but it still stands that the old paranoid fool he killed never quite was the same.

ESTELLA: Oh, let’s not start thisconversation again.

ESTELLA: You talked my ear off for days on end the last time I decided to indulge in your simplistic babblings of self-perceived hardship.

GREGORY:Though who I find most interesting throughout all of what we went through was who really saved us all in the end.

GREGORY:I hadn’t seen all too much of him beforehand, yet he sacrificed himself for the entire town over in the end.

GREGORY:ThatKennyfellow…

GREGORY:You know, despite spiking me over the head with that lawn ornament earlier, I don’t really have too harsh a thought on him.

GREGORY:I blame Tweek and Thomas for not warning me more than anything, really.

GREGORY:There’s something about him that seemed all too familiar, though, even as a young adult now…

ESTELLA:I am taking advantage of the fact that you look like you’re lost in your tiny, hollowed out peanut shell of a brain to say that I am leaving now.

ESTELLA:There are better things to attend to.

GREGORY: I can’t even remember how he came back from the dead, he just appeared one day, good as new.

GREGORY:I never knew the original ruler of hell personally, only his son of course, but perhaps there was some sort of additional deal made for him to return to the land of the living once more?

GREGORY: Honestly, this perplexes me severely now that I think about it, and I can’t believe I’ve not thought about it more until now.

GREGORY:Needless to say, this one’s an interesting individual, to say the least.

GREGORY:Definitely not one I’d think to trust any time soon, however. He’s far too… suspicious of a person…

GREGORY:Hmm…

GREGORY:Well– that’s all of them I suppose.

GREGORY: Though, hmm…

GREGORY:I could have sworn Craig’s friends had one more on their team…?

GREGORY: I wonder where they could be in all of this mess.

GREGORY: …These are quite fun, I think I may indulge myself in a few more…

TOKEN:zzz.z..zz…….,.z.,

PHONE:*fucking buzzes*

TOKEN:mhmgngh .h guh…

TOKEN:Huh…

TOKEN: Damn… I fell asleep…

TOKEN: Who’s even calling me–

TOKEN: Oh it’s Nichole.

TOKEN:Hey, babe…

NICHOLE:Token!

NICHOLE:Hi.

NICHOLE: Oh no, are you falling asleep?

TOKEN:No… I promise, I’m awake.

NICHOLE:Okaysure, sle py head.

TOKEN:Mmh…

TOKEN: Is everything alright?

NICHOLE:Um…

NICHOLE:Iguess?

NICHOLE:I don’t kn w.

TOKEN:What doesthatmean.

NICHOLE:Ummmm… I think I’ll explain it when we’re at the farm.

NICHOLE:I just want d to call you and let you know we’re abo t thirty or four y minutes out still?

NICHOLE:How d d you guys even get so  far?

NICHOLE: We saw y ur car on th  way out of town…

NICHOLE:It was still in flames!

TOKEN: One of the guys… like… poofed us here…

NICHOLE: “Poofed?”

NICHOLE: “One of the guys?” Your fri nds???

NICHOLE:Baby you g tta make more s nse than that.

TOKEN:No… like…

TOKEN:Agood…demon.

TOKEN: Or I guess he said he wasn’t a demon…like…

TOKEN: I dunno.

TOKEN: He helped take us here and then left.

NICHOLE:Je us, and yo  ju t trustedhim?

TOKEN:Notreally…

TOKEN: He was just really bent on helping us…

NICHOLE: Th t’s re ll  w

TOKEN: Babe… you’re starting to cut out…

NICHOLE: I k ow, w  re go  g t rou   th  mou   i s…

NICHOLE:W ’l   e t ere s  n.

NICHOLE: I  ove y u.

TOKEN: I love you too…

TOKEN:See you soon.

TOKEN:[yawn]

TOKEN:Man…

TOKEN:How am I supposed to stay up this late…

TOKEN:Today’s been so wild…

KENNY:Hey, uh, Token?

TOKEN:Mn…?

KENNY:How’s Nichole and the others?

KENNY:Not to, like… eavesdrop or anything…

TOKEN:Mm, it sounds like they’re scared…

KENNY:Makes sense.

TOKEN:She said they’re about half an hour out still.

KENNY:Damn. Sure you won’t fall asleep before then?

TOKEN: Yeah I’m gonna try and stay awake.

TOKEN: Shouldn’t be too hard.

KENNY:I feel that.

TOKEN:What about you?

TOKEN:What has you so wide awake?

TOKEN: Just about everybody but Craig is asleep now.

KENNY:Yeahhh…

KENNY: I guess I just can’t sleep.

KENNY:Got stuff on my mind.

TOKEN: Yeah, don’t we all…

KENNY: Heheh, yeah.

KENNY: So, um.

KENNY: I was just wondering, since Craig wouldn’tdarelet me– and considerin’ how he’s feeling, I don’t blame him–

KENNY:Could I borrow your phone?

TOKEN:My phone?

KENNY:Yeah.

KENNY: I’ve been feeling pretty bad about today.

KENNY: I kinda had a manicure appointment scheduled.

TOKEN:A– A manicure?

KENNY:Karen.

KENNY: You know how she paints my nails and such.

TOKEN:Oh, right.

KENNY:Yeah, I got her a new color and she was real excited to try it out.

KENNY:Promised her I’d help her test it.

KENNY:Also considering everything that went on back in town, I’m also just a lil worried in general.

TOKEN: That’s understandable.

KENNY: I sure hope it is!

KENNY: But um.

KENNY:Yeah, could I give her a quick call?

TOKEN:Of course, dude.

TOKEN:Take your time.

KENNY:God,thank you.

KENNY: Times like these I wish my phone wasn’t long busted, y’know?

TOKEN: I really don’t.

KENNY: Haha, yeah, you wouldn’t.

TOKEN: Do you think she’d even be up this late?

TOKEN: We have school tomorrow and all…

KENNY: Oh, probably.

KENNY: If my parents are awake this late– which they definitely are– she’d be awake too.

TOKEN: Alright, well… 

TOKEN: Like I said, take your time.

KENNY: Thanks dude!

KAREN:I totally didn’t even expect that, like!

KAREN:That show is so good with being really realistic, but also keeping the suspense up that makes you all “oh my gosh, who did it…?”

KAREN: Not that either of those really have to be sacrificed for the other, just!!!

KAREN: I like the show a lot. I like watching it with you.

KAREN:Would you maybe wanna watch more tomorrow after sch–

KAREN:?

TRICIA:Wow, who’s calling you this late at night?

KAREN:Oh…

KAREN:Maybe my parents…?

KAREN: I don’t know if I should ignore it or if they’d be more mad if I didn’t take it…

TRICIA:I’m surprised they even noticed you were gone.

KAREN: Yeah… I–

KAREN:I better just take it.

KAREN:Um… hello?

KENNY:Hey Karen!

KAREN:Oh!

KAREN:Kenny?

KENNY: In the fleshphone.

KAREN:How are you calling me?

KAREN:Isn’t your phone broken?

KENNY: Yeah, borrowing a friends.

KENNY:How are you?

KAREN:I’m okay– um.

KAREN:Are you okay?

KAREN: Where are you?

KAREN:You didn’t come home from your friends so I just thought you didn’t want to be home tonight, or…

KENNY:No, no trust me, I wanna be home more than anything.

KAREN: That’s the first time I think I’ve ever heard you say that.

KENNY:Haha.

KENNY: Well I just wanted to say I kinda got caught up in some weird sh– some weird stuff.

KENNY: I didn’t mean to skip out on nail painting.

KENNY: I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise.

KAREN:Oh, well um…

KAREN:I kind of already painted my nails…

KENNY:Oh.

KENNY:Well… how do they look!

KAREN:Good! Tricia helped me.

KENNY:Tricia,huh?

KENNY: Did y’go and see her tonight?

KAREN:Maybe…

KENNY:Hey, beats home.

KAREN:Totally.

KENNY: Well, tell Tricia that Craig says he loves her and wishes he could be there to keep her safe.

KAREN:Oh… r… really?

KAREN:Tricia, Kenny said that… *Craig* said that… he loves you? And wishes he were… home to keep you safe?

KAREN: I don’t really know why he’d be saying that.

TRICIA:Um, ask him what he’s on and then tell him I hate him.

KAREN: I’m not gonna say that!!!

TRICIA: He’s literally across the hallway from me, why is he being weird.

TRICIA: Why is your brother telling us this.

KAREN:Oh… yeah, um–

KAREN:Kenny, Craig is already home in his room.

KAREN: Did he tell you this earlier?

KAREN:Is everything okay?

KENNY:No, no, Craig’s here with me and the guys.

KAREN:Tricia, my brother says Craig is hanging out with Kenny.

TRICIA:Um,no?

TRICIA: I just heard his door close like two minutesago.

KAREN: Kenny, Tricia’s pretty sure Craig is home.

KENNY:Hesuperisn’t.

KENNY: Craig, say hi.

CRAIG:Don’t tell Tricia I love her tell her what thefuckis wrong with you.

KENNY:See?

KENNY:Wait–

KENNY:Karen,is there someone else in the house with you guys?

KAREN:Um, just her parents… but they went to sleep a few hours ago.

KENNY:Karen…

KENNY: Whoever’s messing around in Craig’s room is notCraig.

KENNY:We’re nearly fourty miles out of town at Stan’s farm.

KAREN:Huh…?

KENNY:…

KENNY:Lock the door and turn off the light.

KAREN:Tricia, Kenny says we need to lock the door because…

KAREN:Um.

KAREN:There might be someone in the house… with us…

TRICIA:That’s bullshit.

KAREN:But–

TRICIA:This is a prank.

KAREN:Kenny wouldn’t play a trick on me…

TRICIA:Yeah, and Craig’s too boring, but his friends aren’t.

TRICIA:They’re probablyallin on this.

KAREN: But… maybe we should still listen?

TRICIA: No, that’s what they want us to do.

KAREN: I don’t–

TRICIA: Trust me, it’ll be fine.

TRICIA:They’re just trying to scare us.

TRICIA: We can’t let them get to us.

KAREN:T-Trish–

KAREN: Wh-what if it is someone else in the house?

KAREN: What do– what do we do???

KAREN:I’m scared…!

TRICIA:Karen, if it reallyis someone bad, I’ll protect you.

TRICIA:I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.

KAREN:…

TRICIA:(Just stay quiet…)

TRICIA: (They’re probably expecting to hear us…)

TRICIA: (Turn your phone down, I can hear your brother yelling on the other side.)

KAREN:(U-um… okay…)

TRICIA:…

TRICIA:See?

TRICIA:I knew it.

TRICIA:They’re just trying to fucking scare us.

KAREN:Is that Craig?

TRICIA:Too short to be Craig, probably their idiot friend Clyde or something.

TRICIA:HEY!

TRICIA:You’re not tricking us.

TRICIA: Stop shitting on our night you freaks, get a life!

KAREN: T-Tricia, your parentsaresleeping–

TRICIA: They’re heavy sleepers, trust me–

TRICIA:Are you listening to me? Get the fuck out of here and don’t try and scare Karen again.

TRICIA: I’ll kick ALLyour asses if you d…

TRICIA: If you don’t… g…

KAREN & TRICIA:a…

GREGORY & ESTELLA: 

TRICIA:Okay maybe your brother was right.

KAREN: T-T-Tricia I think th- I think we should close th–

KAREN:We sh-should close the door, I, um. Um.

TRICIA:Yeah.

TRICIA:Yeah.

TRICIA:Okay.

TRICIA:Tell your brother sorry and hang up.

TRICIA:We’ll lock the door.

KAREN: K-Kenny um.

KAREN: Yeah there’s someone else here.

KAREN:Sorry.

KAREN: I love you.

KAREN:Talk to you soon.

KENNY:Wait– K–

CRAIG: All my friends arehere.

CRAIG:All of my friends are stuck up inside this stupid barn because some fuckingweirdotold us to.

TOKEN:What are you going on about over there, Craig?

CRAIG: These people keep saying to call someone outside to come and help us, but literally all of us are trapped in here.

CRAIG: And frankly, I don’t think calling anybody like mysister will do much good either, so that’s pretty much all my options right now.

CRAIG: Not that I’m in the mood to talk to anybody anyways–

TOKEN: It’s cool dude, it’s cool. Don’t sweat it.

TOKEN: I mean…

TOKEN: I guess we could try calling someone like Wendy…

TOKEN: She tends to be pretty smart and she’d probably take this seriously if I said I wasn’t joking…

TOKEN:Or…

TOKEN:Oh!

CRAIG:What.

TOKEN:I could call Nichole!

TOKEN: I’m pretty sure she said she was hanging out with Wendy and Bebe and stuff tonight.

CRAIG: Yeah sure dude, a bunch of chicks can help this situation, I’m sure.

TOKEN: I’m gonna ignore that comment because I’m sure you’re just grumpy right now.

CRAIG:You’re damn right I am, I’m stuck up in a fucking cold, duck-shit filled barn with Stan and his friends.

TOKEN:[sigh]

NICHOLE:Oh my gosh, guys, after we’re done do you wanna watch a movie or something?

WENDY: Sure, I’d be down!

WENDY: We only have a couple of keypoints left on the syllabus to go through before we’re done–

WENDY:Oh!

WENDY: Who’s calling you so late in the night, Nichole?

NICHOLE:Umm…

NICHOLE:Oh! It’s Token.

NICHOLE: Can I answer, or are we too busy?

BEBE:Ohhhhh my god, Nichole, we’re never too busy for Token.

BEBE:Everything he says is super cute, put him on speaker!

RED:Tell him I said hey.

RED: But like in a cool way.

WENDY:Just try to make it quick, we have school in the morning and we need to get this done before the test!

NICHOLE:Okay!

NICHOLE: Token? You’re up kind of late, is everything okay?

TOKEN:Oh my god, Nichole, you have no idea how relieving it is to hear your voice–

BEBE:HIIIIiiiiii Tokennnnn~!

RED:Hey Token.

TOKEN: …Hi, Bebe… Hi Red…

WENDY: Is everything okay?

TOKEN:I’m fine, I’m fine–

TOKEN:Um, well.

TOKEN:I’malive, I guess.

NICHOLE: What do you mean by that? 

TOKEN: Well, I mean…

TOKEN: Some pretty messed up stuff has been happening kind of all night.

TOKEN: I’m sort of surprised none of you guys heard anything that was going on outside, you guys were only a few blocks away from it…

TOKEN: And god, the sounds that were happening, and how he was following us,I–

TOKEN:Th-that doesn’t matter.

NICHOLE: Token, sweetie, you’re rambling.

BEBE:[snort] Yeah just get to the point! (He’s so adorable.)

NICHOLE:(Shut up stop calling my fiance adorable, Bebe!)

BEBE:(I can’t help it!)

TOKEN: I can hear you all whispering.

BEBE:Ooooops, the secret’s out, hahaha!

TOKEN:Okay, I’m–

TOKEN:I’m sorry I don’t have time for jokes right now–

TOKEN: I’m just trying to think about how to word this all… jeez…

NICHOLE:Take your time, it’s okay.

TOKEN:So…

TOKEN:Okay, so basically… we sorta. Ran into like.

TOKEN: We… hmm…

TOKEN:Okay first, at school when the power went out today, we went out to go and check what was going on with the speakers, right?

TOKEN:So we did that, and we ran into that one guy… who disappeared or died like, almost ten years ago. That one British kid, Pip?

TOKEN:But he wasn’t like, azombieor anything, I mean he was like. Alive and right there in front of us.

TOKEN:And he had horns and wings and a tail– like,for real, not fake ones or anything.

TOKEN:So we ran, with this one new kid who sat next to us at lunch–

TOKEN:Then it turns out that guy was a demon too, and then we ran into anotherdemon, and then another, and then another, and they all tried to dangle us off a bridge and made us sing and dance and they hypnotized Clyde with some weird demon power and we’re all stuck in Stan’s barn to try and hide away from all the crazy shit that’s been happening–

TOKEN:[sigh.]

TOKEN: There, hopefully that didn’t sound toodumb.

…

RED:…That sounds kindadumb.

BEBE:Haha, yeah, are you playing a trick on us or something?

NICHOLE: Tokennnn, you just said you didn’t have time for jokes, silly!

TOKEN:I don’t!

TOKEN:I’m not lying!

TOKEN: I’m super,superserious.

TOKEN:Youknowme, Nichole. I don’t make these kinds of jokes.

TOKEN:Jimmy–

TOKEN:Jimmydied, because of these guys.

TOKEN:He’sactually dead, and I’m sort of freaking out but trying to keep a level head for the group, but I– I…

BEBE:Wait,what???

NICHOLE:Token, seriously, don’t joke about your friends being dead…

TOKEN:Trust me, I’m telling the truth.

TOKEN:We don’t know what to do.

TOKEN:They totaled my car in the middle of the street, go look if you don’t believe me!

TOKEN:It’s flipped upside down in flames!

BEBE:Oh my god?????

WENDY:Wait, he’s being serious?

NICHOLE:You…

NICHOLE:You sure sound serious, babe…

NICHOLE:Are you–

TOKEN:Yes!

TOKEN: I’m super fucking serious!

TOKEN:Jimmy is dead, there’s people who died ages ago walking around South Park right now, and they’re after us. 

TOKEN:All of us.

TOKEN: Craig, Clyde, Stan, Kenny, Kyle, Eric and I.

TOKEN:None of us know what to do.

TOKEN:I just thought maybe you guys like.

TOKEN: I don’t know.

TOKEN:You guys are capable, I’m not really sure what to do in this situation, I mean I’ve never had to deal with a friend dying before, especially not l-like this–

NICHOLE: Oh– oh no, you sound like you’re choking up–

NICHOLE:It’s okay, it’s okay–

BEBE:Oh my god, Jimmy’s seriously dead?

WENDY:This all can’t be real, can it?

RED: Wendy, this is…

WENDY:I know–

WENDY:I–

WENDY:Red. You and I need to get over there.

WENDY:Now.

BEBE: Wait, I wanna go too!

BEBE:Clyde’s there!

WENDY: You can’t go, this is way too dangerous!

BEBE:What do you mean?!

BEBE:What makes this more dangerous for any of the rest of us?!

RED:Just let them come along, Wendy!

RED: It’s their boyfriends!

WENDY: You know–

RED:We don’t know shit!

RED:None of us know shit, that’s why we’reallgoing.

BEBE: I can drive us there, we can hop in my bug!

BEBE:I’ll get there way faster than your grandma drivingwill!!!

WENDY:…

WENDY:Fine.

WENDY:Just hurry up and get some shoes and a jacket on.

NICHOLE:Token, honey, we’re coming right over.

NICHOLE:Stan’s farm, right?

TOKEN:Yeah…

NICHOLE:That’s about an hour out– we’ll be there as fast as we can.

TOKEN:Okay…

TOKEN: Be safe.

NICHOLE:I should be saying that to you.

CRAIG:Token, people are asking about that Damien kid.

CRAIG: I don’t even know how he’s relevant to all of this, but last I heard, youwere the one who talked to him last.

TOKEN: Who the hell is on your blog asking this kind of stuff, dude?

CRAIG:Dude I don’t fucking know. People.

TOKEN:Well…

TOKEN: He was kind of like…

TOKEN:Not helpful at all.

TOKEN:He just told me all of this isourfault.

TOKEN: But he did say if I needed anything that I could call him, I guess?

CRAIG:Yeah that’s what they’re saying you should do.

TOKEN: He didn’t really… give me a phone number or anything, though.

CARTMAN:Ugh, can you guys shut up?

CARTMAN: It’s hard enough sleeping on all this hay without you guys yappingacross the freakin’ barn all night.

TOKEN: We’re trying to figure out what to do next, fatass.

CARTMAN:Cool.

CARTMAN:Do it where I can’t hear you guys.

CLYDE:D’you think… if we got his help. he’d get ridda the demons for us…

TOKEN:No, I don’t think so.

TOKEN: He told me unless we like, literally have a favor from the king of hell, we’re pretty shit outta luck.

TOKEN:I really wish I had been thinking a little more at that moment, I would’ve asked him for his number.

TOKEN: Even though… he was the one to tell meto callhim.

CLYDE:Well… maybeeeee…

CLYDE:[yawn]

CLYDE:Have you tried jus’ typing a bunch of sixes into the phone…

CLYDE:Heheh… gettit… ‘cause he’s like from hell and stuff and… 6… 66… yeah… nice…

CLYDE:…

CLYDE:Jimmy would’ve laughed at that…

CLYDE: I’m sure…

CLYDE:…

CLYDE:sznnnzzzzzz…

TOKEN:…Yeah, I bet he would’ve, Clyde…

TOKEN:Get some sleep, bud.

CARTMAN:Guys seriously I’m gonna hurl a bale of hay at you if you don’t shut up soon.

CRAIG: Go die Cartman.

CARTMAN:So I can come back as a stupid demon like the rest of those losers?

CARTMAN:No thanks.

TOKEN:Well…

TOKEN:I mean I guess it isn’t the dumbestidea Clyde’s ever had.

CRAIG:You’re seriously gonna try typing666 into the phone?

TOKEN:That or like,ten sixes to make it a proper number.

CRAIG: Is 666 even a real area code…?

TOKEN:Dude, I don’t know.

TOKEN: What else am I supposed to do right now.

TOKEN:I don’t suppose anybody in here has his number?

CRAIG:Nobody likes hanging around him and his stupid glasses.

TOKEN:Exactly.

TOKEN:I’m.

TOKEN: I’m just gonna try this and see if it works.

TOKEN:…

TOKEN: Ugh, great. It just went straight to voicemail.

TOKEN:[sigh]

TOKEN: You know what.

TOKEN: I’m not even gonna bother leaving him a message, I doubt he’s going to listen to it anyways…

CRAIG: Cool, what a waste of time.

CLYDE:So do we just sleep on all of this hay tonight then…?

KENNY: I wouldn’t recommend that, dude.

KENNY:Hay is not as soft as it looks.

CLYDE: Aw man…

CLYDE:Fantasy lied to me again…

CLYDE:huuu…

KENNY:Uh, you gonna be alright?

CLYDE:Yeah, just tired… and…

CLYDE:Aw… what the…

CLYDE: What is that smell…

KENNY:Eugh… yeah you’re right.

KENNY: Something smells like peanut butter and dog shit sandwiches in here, for real.

CLYDE:Did something die in here?

STAN:It’s just the ducks dude.

KYLE:This is so stupid.

STAN: Yeah ducks are kinda stupid.

STAN: They kinda rule tho too.

KYLE:What?

KYLE:No dude, I meant–

KYLE:How are we supposed to sleep in here?

KYLE:Why did he expect us to sleep in here?

KYLE:Didn’t he say he didn’t even know what a barnwas???

KYLE:What the fuck.

STAN:I dunno man.

STAN:What gets me is like…

STAN:He just said to stay in here.

STAN:Like, over night or something.

STAN:How long do we stay in here?

KYLE:Exactly!

KYLE:Are we just expected to sit in here for the rest of our lives?

KYLE:How the hell are we supposed to know when we canleave???

TOKEN:Do you think we can trust him that much, though?

TOKEN:I mean you guys were only there for the latter half of it.

TOKEN:He wasrightthere when that other british kid threw Jimmy’s body on the ground.

TOKEN:Like right in front of us.

TOKEN:And he didn’t even try and save Craig when we ran off and he didn’t make it.

TOKEN: I swore he was gonna die too, man. It was so fucked up.

KENNY:I don’t know what we should do.

KENNY:That’s all sorts of messed up.

KENNY:I wanna say we should trust the guy, like.

KENNY:He knows more about this shit than we do, I suppose.

KENNY: But at the same time…

TOKEN: At the same time, he could just be tricking us.

KENNY:Yeah…

TOKEN:And if everything he said back there was true, and he knows Thomas knew Craig before he died…

TOKEN: And so he just let that happen, right in front of Craig.

KENNY: Do you think he’s gonna be okay?

TOKEN: I don’t know…

TOKEN: Like, we’ve all been through some really messed up stuff today.

TOKEN:But Craig’s like…

TOKEN: Getting hit from every angle, you know?

TOKEN:He just seems so messed up right now…

KENNY: Well, you know Craig.

KENNY:He’s always a little different.

KENNY:He’s not taking this the same way we are.

KENNY:At least I don’t think so.

KENNY: I don’t really know the whole inner workings of that sorta thing.

TOKEN:No I get you…

TOKEN: I just hope he’ll be okay soon.

TOKEN:I hope all of us can be okay soon.

KENNY:That’s gonna be kinda hard considering everything that’s gone on.

TOKEN:No… yeah… I know… I just…

TOKEN:[sigh]

KENNY:Come on, let’s all just chill out for a bit and figure out what we should do tomorrow.

TOKEN:Yeah. Yeah okay.

TWEEK: Oh– oh okay, Stan–

TWEEK:You’re Stan, right?

STAN:yea

TWEEK: There’s so many of you man…

STAN:There’s like seven of us.

CRAIG:Would’ve been eight if Jimmy were still fucking alive.

TWEEK:Man–okay–

TWEEK:You said you have a farm?

STAN: Um yeah you were asking us like places we know I just said it like a minute ago.

TWEEK:Would Gregory know where that farm is?

STAN:Um…

TWEEK:Or Pip?

TWEEK: Or even like. Thomas???

STAN:Uh.

TWEEK: Like– would they have known it even existed before they died.

STAN: I guess not.

STAN: I mean like, I never really invited Gregory… or anybody else over or anything if that’s what you’re asking.

TWEEK: Okay, okay that’s perfect. That’s good.

TWEEK: We need to take you guys there.

STAN:To my farm?

STAN:That sounds pretty sick actually maybe my dad will let me try some of this season’s weed.

KYLE:Dude. Is this really the time to think about getting high?

STAN: We’ve had a hard day, dude.

KYLE: You almost died,dude!

STAN:I know dude.

STAN: That’s why I said we’ve had a hard day dude.

TWEEK: Can you guysstop saying dude???

STAN:No.

STAN:Anyways like, I don’t know if my mom would be cool with everybody going there without any warning…

TWEEK: Aren’t there barns on farms?

TWEEK:Can’t you guys just chill out in one of those?

STAN:I mean Iguess…

KYLE: I really don’t think it’s a good idea to hide out right where your family lives, Stan.

KYLE: What if they find us?

STAN:Huh…

STAN:What if they find my epic dad and sister.

STAN: …My dad who’s super cool and not lame…

STAN: And my totally awesome sister who loves me so much…

STAN:…

STAN:Yeah actually there are many reasons why going to the farm sounds like a good idea all of the sudden.

KYLE:Jesus christ, dude you are so fucking evil.

TWEEK:Awesome!!!

TWEEK:This is great!

TWEEK:You guys can–

TWEEK:You can go to the barn, barricade yourself in for the night, get some sleep…

TWEEK:You’ll betotallysafe, they won’t know where you are at all.

KYLE: I don’t know how much I trust how ready you are to just lock us up in a barn.

TWEEK:It’s for yoursafety.

TWEEK:Okay.

TWEEK:I’m just gonna take you all there, make sure you get inside safe, and leave you the fuck alone.

TWEEK: Everybody hold hands.

STAN:huh

TWEEK: Everybody hold hands in a circle, we’re all almost standing in a circle anyways.

TWEEK:Just hold hands with the people next to you.

EVERYBODY:…

CARTMAN:I’mnot holding hands with Kenny.

CARTMAN: I don’t wanna catch the poor.

TWEEK: Man what the fuck.

TWEEK: Just hold hands it’s not that hard.

KYLE:Howexactly is holding hands going to… take us there?

CLYDE: Holding hands is kind of gay bro I mean–

TWEEK: Holy shit just hold hands, we don’t have all night!

STAN: Okay cool. This is cool.

STAN:I really wanted to hold hands with Cartman today.

CARTMAN: Eugh Kenny, sick.

CARTMAN:I’m already feelingpoorer.

KYLE:Man, can we just get this joke over with?

TWEEK:It’snota joke man.

KYLE:Okay.

KYLE:Can we get thisprankover with?

TWEEK:Hhhhhrhrhrhrrrrgh…

TWEEK:Just– you two– hold my hands.

CRAIG:I just want you to know how much I hate this.

TOKEN:Yourealise how sketchy this all sounds, right Tweek…?

TWEEK:Look man.

TWEEK:You guys are making it way sketchier by making this take so long.

TOKEN: Just… do what you’re gonna do. I guess…

TWEEK:Okay…

TWEEK:[inhaaaaaalllleeee]

TWEEK:[exhalllllle]

CRAIG:BUHhfgj

TOKEN:woah–

TOKEN:How…

TOKEN:Wuuuuhh…

TOKEN:Oh my god…

TOKEN:Please, never do that again…

CRAIG:huuuuuuuuu…oh god my head…

KENNY:Wow…

KENNY:That’s…

KENNY:A nifty trick you’ve got…

KENNY: Really would’ve helped us like… I dunno.

KENNY:A couple hours ago, or…

TWEEK:Look man,somuch shit was happening.

TWEEK:I’m just trying to help.

KENNY: Okay, then what do you reckon we do next, dude.

TWEEK:What I “reckon” is that you all get into this red shack and hide out for the night.

TWEEK: This is the barn, right?

TWEEK: I’ve never seen a barn before. There’s no barns in hell.

STAN:yea thats a barn

TWEEK: Okay great.

TWEEK:Everybody get in.

TWEEK:And don’t, for the life of you, come out for any reason until morning.

TWEEK: If you hear someone from outside, don’t trust them.

TWEEK:Even if they claim to be your friend.

TWEEK: Even if they sound like your friend.

TWEEK:Don’t fucking do it.

TWEEK:At that point though you’re probably alreadyscrewed cause someone’s trying to get in.

TWEEK: Just don’t even make it look like you exist in this barn, I swear.

STAN: Jesus dude okay.

STAN:We get it.

STAN:We’ll stay in the barn or whatever.

TWEEK:Thank you.

CRAIG: This is sostupid.

CRAIG:Why are we even listening to this guy…

CRAIG: [Grumble grumble…]

CLYDE:Hey Tweek…

TWEEK:Huh?

CLYDE:I’m kinda really out of it right now I think.

CLYDE: Like I dunno I think whatever that chick back there did to me like…

CLYDE:Sucked all the energy out of me or something.

TWEEK: Yeah that sounds about right…

CLYDE: But um…

CLYDE: I just wanted to say.

CLYDE:Like.

CLYDE:I still don’t care that you’re a demon…

CLYDE:Or an imp… or… whatever you said you were…

CLYDE:You have claws and hooves and horns and stuff… I dunno.

CLYDE:I still think you’re cool either way…

CLYDE: I mean… like…

CLYDE:Our friend justdied…

CLYDE: And I know I’m gonna be crying tonight if I don’t pass out before I do…

CLYDE: But I can tell you didn’t want that to happen to us.

CLYDE: And I’m sorry everybody else is being mean to you…

CLYDE:[yawn]

CLYDE:Hopefully we can see you later under better… um… I forget the word…

TWEEK:Circumstances?

CLYDE:Yeah… Under better circumstances.

TWEEK:…

TWEEK:I hope so too.

TWEEK:Guys– guys, I’msosorry for what happened back there, seriously.

TWEEK:Hhhhoh my god I never wanted it to get like this, even though I knew it would I just knew it, none of them canever just let things be normal, or– or simple,or–

KENNY: Dude… shut up.

CRAIG:Give us a fucking second to breath.

CRAIG:Holy shit.

KENNY:Hey wait… isn’t this that new kid?

TOKEN: Y-yeah– yeah…

KENNY:Why can’t we ever have anything normalhappen in this town…

TWEEK: Seriously, I’m so sorry– it wasnever meant to–

CRAIG:Dude, shut up!

CRAIG:Since the moment you came around,everything’s been fucked up.

CRAIG: I can’t even thinkstraight without hearing some bullshit voices, or seeing one of my friends die!

CRAIG:You let Thomas… I…

KENNY:Are you gonna be okay, Craig?

CRAIG:Fuckno I’m not gonna be okay!

TWEEK: Hhhghhg– We– we’re all okay! Everything’s safe now, they’re not gonna follow us–

TOKEN: Tweek, it doesn’t matter if you pushed us to safety, you lied to us!

TOKEN:You told us, right to our faces– like on several occasions– that you weren’t a demon!

TWEEK:I’mnota demon!

CRAIG: Oh yeah, that’s real convincing, buddy.

TWEEK:I swear it! I’m just an imp!

TOKEN: Dude, what are you even talking about?

TOKEN: You have the horns and the wings and stuff!

TWEEK:Trust me, a demon is a totally different thing, I promise you! GHhghgh–

CRAIG: What are you even talking about?

TWEEK:W-well, for starters, demons don’t have legs like mine.

TWEEK: And being a demon is anearnedstatus, man.

TWEEK:You either gotta fall from heaven, or do something really, really fucked up in hell to earn that title.

TWEEK:I have nothing to do with any of you guys, I– I barely know any of you!

KENNY:Then why are you here?

TWEEK:Because fucking GregoryandPip and all of those assholes wanted to get back up to the surface and do whatever the hell it is they’ve always wanted to do– I don’t know, man!

TWEEK: They’ve talked to me for years about what they’d do the moment they could get back onto the overworld.

TWEEK: Pip is just going off the god damn wall or something, he wasn’t even originally planning to do everything he’s done, I have no clue why he’s doing any of this, he’s never been like this before, and I– I– hfhhjfhHGHJFHghhjgh…

TWEEK:But Gregory, Estella, and Thomas, specifically… they’ve always had a reasonto come back up here the moment I knew them.

TWEEK: Thomas is, like… he’s good. He’s way too nice. He just wanted to get back to the surface for you guys, apparently.

TWEEK:So of coursehedies. Ofcoursehe does.

TWEEK: L-like, he’ll be back, sure, but man… he did not deserve that shit, man…

TWEEK: And Estella is freaking the fuck outjustbecause shewants to, I don’t even think she’s ever said a word about any of you. Do you guys even know her???

TWEEK:Ugh– it doesn’t matter.

STAN:Hey, I have a question???

STAN: I have a fucking question hello???????

TWEEK:Wh-what…?

STAN:Why the hell is Gregory a demon?

STAN:He disappeared when he was like eleven, what could he have possiblydone that was so bad that he turned into a demon.

STAN:And youcannot convince me that asshole went to heaven.

STAN: No way he did.

CARTMAN: I always hated that guy…

STAN:Yeah exactly he’s an asshole, nobody likes him, see?

TWEEK: Trust me, I know.

TWEEK:He’s not a demon either, though.

TWEEK: None of anybody you’re dealing with are demons.

STAN:Well then what about all the horns and–

TWEEK:Look, hell is a fucked up place.

TWEEK: And I don’t mean, like, it’s awful and horrible and hellfire rains from the skies–

TWEEK:That shit endedyearsago.

TWEEK:This new hell, under the son of Satan’s reign, is so… messed up,man.

TWEEK:Everything’s so… nice. And uncontrolled. And there’s palm trees,and–

TWEEK: Man Idon’tunderstand it.

STAN:Then what’s the issue???

TWEEK: There’s nobody around punishing the unforgiven anymore, that’s the problem!

TWEEK: When the hellbound don’t get punished, their emotions fester.

TWEEK: They have time to sit there and think about everything that’s gone wrong in their life, and there’s nothing there to stop their souls from getting superfucking warped.

TWEEK: Gregory’s been so pissed off for like, years. I’ve known him for like, a few years but I can tell he’sstillnot over what happened to him.

TWEEK: He goes on and on about you, man.

TWEEK:You.

TWEEK: And like, bananas, for some reason…

STAN:…

STAN:Bananas,huh.

STAN:You’re trying to tell me that you’re a good guy, and that Gregory is pissed off at me and bananas.

TWEEK: I barely listen to him so I don’t know the whole story, but…

TWEEK: He’s pissed off at you, and he’s here to getyou.

TWEEK: I don’t know what the fuck you did man.

STAN:This is stupid.

CRAIG: Yeah, you’re still from hell!

CRAIG: You’re still fucking up all our lives.

TWEEK:RRRGH–I’mnot trying to fuck up your lives, I’m trying to stop Gregory and his stupid friends from doing anything to you guys!

STAN:Wow, great job so far, you’re like a guardian angel.

STAN:You just stood outside my house while I got choked, dude!

TOKEN: Why do you care so much about us?

TWEEK:Dumb reasons man–

TWEEK:Just–

TWEEK:Look, let me take you guys somewhere safe. Or– or like. Tell you how to protect yourselves.

STAN:Why should we take advice from you?

TWEEK:Because you’ve been standing here for the last five minutes listening to my advice, you can stand another minute or two of it, holy shit.

TOKEN:Where can we even go that’s safe at all???

TWEEK:Like. Like…

TWEEK:[sigh]

TWEEK:I don’t know.

TWEEK: We’ll find you guys some place.

TWEEK: After we do, I need to get the hell out of here, because they can obviously track me, man…

TOKEN: Clyde… knock it off…

TOKEN:You’re kinda freaking us out.

CLYDE: I’m freaking you out?

CLYDE: Oh well that’s a shame now, isn’t it?

CLYDE: Your puss-filled elephant’s foot of a friend isn’t here right now, sorry to say.

CLYDE:And very soon,none of you will be.

CRAIG:Dude, what is your problem?

CLYDE:Oh,myproblem?

CLYDE: My problem is that this swollen, decaying fistula ratted me out.

CLYDE:Rattedall of usout.

GREGORY:Hewhat?

CLYDE:Yes, I heard it from the latrine.

CLYDE:While this “Clyde” fellow was having a break down in a piss-soaked petrol station washroom, his friend over here was raving all about us to the Devil’s son himself.

TOKEN:Wh–

TOKEN:Heaskedme!

TOKEN:Clyde,what the hell are you talking about–

CLYDE:Shut your mouth!

CLYDE:I’m not Clyde, and I wont even so much as thank you to call me as such.

CLYDE:We were meant to bide our bloody time.

CLYDE:Supposed to escape silently through your brainless meat stick of a friend’s portal.

CLYDE:But now we can’t be so silent.

CLYDE:So dumb as to contact anybody through a ouija board, you truly do deserve everything I’m about to do to you.

PIP:(Nice to see you, old friend.)

PIP:(Sorry to see our reunion couldn’t have been under better circumstances.)

THOMAS: Y-you know, we really don’t need to do this…

THOMAS: W-we… I mean we could–

GREGORY:Thomas, I’ve toldyou.

GREGORY:Keep your input to yourself.

GREGORY: These issues are much greater than your feelings.

TOKEN:D-dude…

TOKEN: Whoever you are…

TOKEN:We’renothere to hurt you guys.

TOKEN:We… we were high, did some stupid stuff, and forgot about it the next day.

CLYDE:Oh yes, you’d think that ignorant, wouldn’t you.

CLYDE:You shredded bits of bloodied placenta have no clue the sorts of things you lot have done, have you?

CLYDE:Maybe not to me, but it really just gives me a reason for all of the things I’d like to do to you. Not that I’d hesitate either way.

GREGORY: Then would you just get on with it already, Estella?

CLYDE:Impatient scrotal sac of a decrepit old man.

CLYDE:[sigh]

CLYDE:I suppose I’ve dwelled within this grotesque husk long enough…

TOKEN: Wait, what are…

TOKEN: What’s happening–

GREGORY:I didn’t even know you’d gone off and squealed so soon.

GREGORY: Here I thought I really wouldn’t have to hurt any of you…

TOKEN:You–

CRAIG:You guys killed Jimmy!

KYLE:Theywhat?!

GREGORY:I told you, that was a miscalculation.

TOKEN:D… Damien told me we all deserved it!

GREGORY: Well, maybe you do, seeing what you’ve done.

CRAIG:Whatwe’vedone?!

STAN: Get your head out of your ass, Gregory!

KYLE:Oh my god what is coming out of Clyde’s back.

CARTMAN:Grody,what the fuck.

GREGORY:Oh, I’ll tell you who’s coming out–

ESTELLA:No, you won’t.

South park art dump :) || my insta is vipercave! (click for better quality)