“Faker? I think you’re the fake hedgehog around here. You’re comparing yourself to me? Ha! You’re not even good enough to be my fake" is such a raw line you’d think it was from sonic adventure 2. but actually, it was from Hamlet.
[ID: A digital painting of three four-legged goblin creatures. The largest is a hairless creature with pink skin that has dark blacker spots, as well as green eyes. It has a long thin tail, a long snout, fangs, and very large pointed ears. It is laying with its arms crossed over each other. The next creature is the smallest one. It is orange and slightly fuzzy, with yellow eyes, small pointed ears, and a stubby tail. It is standing and giving a huge gape-mouth grin at a ball. The last creature is dark in color and has very long hair all over its body and long tail. End ID]
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Rating: Cute!
A number of you expressed concern over the not-cute goblin pic in our last update, and were wondering if there were ways to get it out of that situation. Good news! One of our astute followers suggested that the goblin in question looked like Blorbo, and after a bit of digging I was able to confirm that it was, in fact, a picture of Blorbo! Blorbo was rescued about six months ago by Goblin Week shelter, and adopted into a loving home. Here you can see him playing with his new sisters, Scrimblo and Glup!
You can tell that Blorbo is happy in this pic - his ears are pointed up and forwards, and his tail is sticking up and out. You might be thrown off by the color of his eyes - while many goblins flash yellow eyes when they are stressed or frightened, it can also be a sign of excitement or anticipation. With the additional information of his body language, we can tell that Blorbo is more excited than scared. Likewise, Scrimblo and Glup are relaxed and at ease, and Scrimblo’s eyes are the typical happy green color of a contented goblin. With her long hair, Glup’s emotions are a little harder to read, but it looks to me like her ears are up and she’s relaxed and calm.
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i couldn’t leave the poor little guy in that situation, now could i?
[ID: A digital painting of brown, monkey-like creature with very large yellow eyes, small horns, large bat-like ears, and fangs, clinging to a branch in a forest. It has six fingers on each hand and a long prehensile tale, which is wrapped around the branch. A smaller, golden version of the creature, without fangs or horns, is clinging to the first creature’s back. End ID]
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Fun fact: although they are often colloquially referred to as “goblins,” the Mu are actually a species of gremlin! Like all gremlins, Mu have a sixth digit and extra joints in their fingers, as compared to most other goblinoids. These nocturnal forest-dwellers live in very tight-knit social groups, and children may stay with their parents for up to ten years. This photo depicts a young male of approximately two years, carrying an infant sibling on his back.
[ID: A digital drawing of a small, fat, orange goblin with its ears laid back and bright red eyes. A large hand with is reaching out to poke at it, and its mouth is open and full of sharp teeth. End ID.]
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Rating: Not Cute
This is a perfect example of how notto treat your goblin. You can tell from its flat ears and bright red eye color that this goblin is under extreme stress, and is signaling quite obviously that it does not want to be touched. It has hidden in a small crevice for safety, and is about to bite the owner, in an attempt at self-defense. Furthermore, it has no means of escape, trapped in the crevice.
Secondly, this goblin is clearly obese, as evidenced by the fact that it does not seem to be able to lift its full weight off the ground, and there is no clear separation between head and body. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a goblin that was this overweight before, even other Thimble goblins.
Thirdly, miniature/Thimble goblins, despite having a wide reputation as docile animals, are prone to a variety of issues, including obesity, heart disease, diabetes, hip dysplasia, and a wide variety of respiratory issues. This goblin in particular is extremely brachycephalic, and you can see that it is having trouble breathing, especially as worked up as it is. I strongly advise goblin fanciers to only purchase Thimble goblins from reputable breeders who are working to improve the Thimble breed. Any reputable breeder will be able to tell you how they have been working to improve their line.
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this is an affectionate parody of blogs like is-the-cat-video-cute, who do a lot of good work in helping to advance animal welfare! happy goblin week, and treat your goblins RIGHT, people!
“Hi y'all, it’s Chronomaster42, the only Youtuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space, here with another taste test. I’m here in 1976, and I’m gonna get some fries from Mickey D’s before they changed the recipe, and then I’m gonna take ‘em back to 2022, and get fries from the sameMcDonald’s, so I can compare. Now, I’ve got my Nixon, uh, Ford? Carter? Era fries right here, so now I’m gonna”
*everything appears stretched and distant, and then the camera flies through space, through the sun, over millions of different Earths, past the faces of individual people in a thousand different timelines, splintered day by day, the long-dead alive once more, their varied futures lying before them. They appear to be screaming*
“annnnnd here we are, gettin’ the new fries, today. I have to say, I like the old fries a bit better, bit more crisp, but Mickey D’s fries are still Mickey D’s fries, y'know? Anyway, I know some of you guys were freaked out at all the screaming time faces last video, but like, I’m used to 'em, and they aren’t even audible to me? But y'know what is audible? That’s right - Audible, use code -”
you have GOT to stop gendering the wizards it hurts them! wizards don’t naturally have gender in the wild and unless they spontaneously grow one (which is known to happen) you should never gender a wizard! it can take years off a wizards lifespan
While the gist of this post is correct, the part about wizards not having gender in the wild is actually a common misconception! It’s *witches* who don’t naturally possess genders; wizards actually have every gender at once, cycling through them at speeds too great for the human eye to perceive. While the two species are easily mistaken for one another (especially the more colorful varieties of witches, which are often misidentified as wizards and vice versa), the two are taxonomically very different. But the end result is the same, and gendering a witch *or* a wizard can be incredibly damaging to their health!
(can include genderswaps, cyborg, and other human-ish things that don’t fit into the other categories)
Eldritch: A Mcyt with eldritch bits or abilities
If looking at them gives you a headache, and it’s not because they’re annoying, you might have an eldritch on your hands.
Hybrid: Mcyt with hybrid traits
Usually at least some part mob, animal, or other creatures.
All are organized by types. Average and hybrid have type names, sometimes named after their creator, but eldritch is organized by type number.
Ex. “Keralis, Hybrid: Type Peacock”
Ex. “Grian, Hybrid: Type [username]”
Ex. “Joe Hills, Eldritch: Type 02”
You can also get mixes between species and types.
Ex. “Rendog, Hybrid: Type Dog, Average: Type Cyborg”
If you need to fill out papers for them, you usually have to write something like those down somewhere. But if you are unsure what type of Mcyt they are, you can set an appointment with a professional.
When talking about them in a more casual way though, specifics don’t matter as much. A False is a False, and a xB is a xB, regardless of the details. It’s similar to how people might talk about dogs, sometimes they’re curious about the breed, and sometimes they’re not. Simple as that!
There’s a lot of debate about where you draw the lines, too! I’m not going into that here becuase I forgot to bring my pencil.
As most people realise, the most common Jevin is a Hybrid: Type Slime, it is difficult to find a Jevin of another type.
Please, get your hermit, he is having troubles with a Cleo,, also hi!
Rating:Dubious
While a good way of stimulating an IJevin is by having him engage with friendly banter with other hermits, he is known to engage in conflicts, especially with a ZombieCleo, where distress may come to the IJevin. Keep an eye on the situation and if it escalates, separate the two.
Hello! You can call me Chilly and i’m here to check to see if the ijevin video is cute, and for advice on taking care of your own ijevin!
Ratings:
cute - Cute! This is safe and healthy for IJevin!
dubious - While IJevin isn’t in direct harm, this could cause him to come to harm later/or could be potentially stressful
Not Cute - This is a dangerous situation for your IJevin and you should attempt to remove him from the situation as safely and soon as possible.
Tags:
#not hc
#asks
#is the clip cute
#taking care of ijevin
#not ijevin
posts will also be tagged with #unreality
for other hermit blogs of this type, i will direct you to @the-cute-hermit-video-link who has a list in the pinned post
*Disclaimer*
I am not an expert in IJevins, but i do have a lot of experience in looking after one. If anyone else would like to offer up their own experience, feel free to send an ask!
