#vanilla9364

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Maybe this is where I need to be now.

Love this picture. Sexy as fuck and gorgeous. I’m still in love with you.

I will never be able to feel this way again. No one else will ever hold my heart the way you do.

I love this woman so much that words alone cannot express what I feel. I lost her because I forgot to remind myself every day how lucky I was and to make sure she knew it too. I love you baby.

I still dream of moments like this. I’m still in love with you. 1/1/2019

Absolutely without a doubt. Even after everything that has happened. I love you Tracy.

It’s been 7 weeks and it still hurts everyday. I guess 29 years of love doesn’t just fade away. At least not for me.

vanilla9364:

Every damn day. My heart breaks over and over and over, everyday.

vanilla9364:

I wish I knew where it all went wrong so I could make it all right. I’m still in love with you.

The only love of my life. I will never have anything close to this again. You only find it once.

I now realize that Tracy was probably in love with Brian since the very beginning. She said to me recently that she had always felt the same but then he changed and that was why she decided to be with him instead of me. Then I thought about all the times they went out and it was 2-3 times a week and for 6-8 hours. I always thought it was him wanting to be together so much, but now I think it was her. I agreed to let her have sexual encounters outside the marriage as long as I was included and knew but she made it a relationship. I feel like she was having an affair and lying to me. So for probably 2 years or more I had been an oblivious fool. And yet my heart still hurts and I want what we had. . And all I want to do is ask her and hear the the answer that I know will destroy me.

vanilla9364:

The real Tracyxoxoxo. A true natural beauty. You still make my heart flutter everyday. I hope that you somehow find this because I don’t know how else to reach you. I love you and I’m in love with you.

The real Tracy. The one I fell in love with and I’m still in love with even after everything that has happened.

Why can’t I stop thinking of you

I think I’m okay, then I remember something about you. Your smile, your laugh, the way your eyes seem to sparkle when you looked at me, and I’m right back to where I was before. I’m an emotional wreck, I feel everything all over again. Moving in seems impossible. There is no way to forget you. To remove you from my memories, my thoughts, from my heart. Love will never be the same. I’m not sure if it exists or if it’s possible anymore. 2019/07/09

Even though I stole your tumblr that you used to post all your naughty thoughts, I doubt you have ever looked to see if its still up.  There isn’t a day that I don’t think about you, about us, about how we used to be, how I want us to be together.  Nights like tonight make me think of you.  I’m at a concert tonight, and all I can think about is that time you stopped by the house after you went to that concert alone.  As I drive home, every song is about us.  The memories flood my thoughts and I want it to be like it once was.  The way we loved each other.  The way we can still love each other.  Better than anything we have ever known in the past, but its too late for us.  Too many things have been said in anger, and too many emotions to let go of the past.  I still love you but the pain of you moving on is almost unbearable.  I love you and I’m still in love with you.  6/12/2019

Most nights when I drink, its to try and forget you.  To forget us.  To forget what we had and what will never be again.   It always has the opposite effect.  It makes me think of you more.  When I leave the bar after trying to forget you, I often close my eyes and pray that another car pulls out in front of me or runs a red light as I enter the intersection.  Then I hope that the impact wipes my memory of you, replaces the emotional pain with physical pain.  I see your face when I close my eyes and hope its the last thing I’ll see before I leave this world.

everythings-reminding-me-of-you:

“I wish I knew how to stop loving you.”

— Paris Youth Foundation  (via everythings-reminding-me-of-you)

everythings-reminding-me-of-you:

““You have moments where you think you’re over it and then you have others where you cry on the bathroom floor wondering why you weren’t good enough.””

— (via everythings-reminding-me-of-you)

everythings-reminding-me-of-you:

I want you to know if you ever, even for a second, regret your decision and want me back; If you ever look at old photos of us and miss what we had; If you miss having someone there who cares for you like I did; Please text me or call me because I will be there, and I hope and pray with every part of me that the day will come where you realise you can’t live without me because I really can’t do this without you.

- 22.19pm

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