The Starry Night and the Lonely TwoPlease feel free to message me about possible corrections. By all

The Starry Night and the Lonely Two

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――Erase the loneliness from this world, even if just for an instant.

Letters brought happiness to those who received them.

The fact that the other person had chosen those words for them. The time spent carefully selecting the stationery and envelopes. Even the moment of going to the post office to send the mail was endearing. Letters were already special just for existing.

These special somethings were delivered nearly every day to “our” home.

Envelopes with wax seals bearing the venerable crest of a royal clan. Delicate and beautiful stationery most likely chosen with the person’s character in mind. Even letters penned by children who had apparently just learned how to write.

“This one was sent by Lady Charlotte from Fluegel. I once ghostwrote love letters on her behalf…”

“I’ve heard about it. If I’m not mistaken, wasn’t she from a royal family?”

“Yes, she has now become a queen.”

“You have an incredible circle of acquaintances.”

Most of them were letters addressed to her, who lived with me.

“This one is yet another new volume by Mr. Oscar, the novelist, along with a letter.”

“That one makes me happy. I like his books too.”

“It seems his work has been turned into a stage play, so there are theater tickets inside. One is for you, Major.”

“I’m so grateful. Shall we go watch it?”

“The thank-you letter to him will have our joint signature.”

The age range of the senders was broad and they were probably divided almost equally in gender.

“Ms. Taylor’s handwriting… is better than before.”

“True. She also wrote the street name properly. Wasn’t there someone else named Bartlett among your pen pals…? No, was it ‘York’?”

“Yes. We make sure to exchange letters during the change of seasons.”

Perhaps it was more unusual for us to have days when there were no letters in the mailbox. This was proof that she had been sharing wonderful times with people in the life she treaded. I was sometimes envious of that, but for the most part, I felt proud. It gave me the actual feeling that my significant other was loved by many people.

“Major, I will be going to my room to write reply letters.”

“Aah, take your time.”

That was basically what I thought.

However, I found myself curious about the people she frequently exchanged letters with and, sometimes, when I saw her – someone whose facial expressions rarely changed – happily receiving the mail, I would end up wondering what her relationship with the other person was. I made sure not to bother her whenever she was writing letters, so I would also sometimes silently stare at the closed door, praying for her to finish it quickly.

In short, I was a little bit jealous of her letters.

There were twists and turns between us until we reunited and it had taken us a quite a while to live under the same roof like this. The time we spent not knowing what the other was doing had been long.

And one of the reasons for said twists and turns was that I had stayed away from her because I loved her so much, so I couldn’t just talk to her about the relationships that I had cultivated during my absence. I wasn’t thatshameless.

Therefore, I also didn’t say anything when a letter from a young explorer arrived at the end of a certain summer.

“This one was sent by Master Leon Stephanotis from Iustitia.”

Having come from the place where the famous Shahar Astrological Observatory was located, the letter was apparently from one of her former clients. It seemed she had become able to name the stars when looking at the sky due to his influence.

“He writes about his adventures during his travels and stories involving stars. He was once based at the Shahar Observatory, but he is currently journeying around the world and excavating literary works.”

“That’s amazing. What kind of person is he?”

“A gentle one.”

That was a rare word for her to use.

“‘Gentle’…”

“He would ask me if I was cold when we were looking up and the night sky. That kind of person.”

Surely, the two of them had had a wonderful time together. She cherished that memory. She didn’t often call anything “fun”, so there was no mistaking that this had been a particularly “fun” time in her life.

“I see; he’s a wonderful person, huh.”

“Yes, he gave me deep lessons about stars. Iustitia is a wonderful place as well, Major, so I would like to take you there one day. Do you have any interest in observing the stars of the night sky…?”

“I do know the names of some stars. That being said, though, I only know the really famous ones.”

When I said this, she slowly broke into a smile. “So Major, the stars pique your interest as well, right?” she said, bringing the letter to her chest as if to hug it.

“You like the stars?”

“Yes. Because the sky goes on.”

“Aah, that’s right.” I felt that the conversation was a little cross-purpose, but for the time being, I just nodded.

――Speaking of which, she often tells me the names of the stars when we walk around the streets at night.

Once again, I had learned about one more thing she liked. My beloved was fond of the stars.

“So I have a field of interest in common with you, Major. What an honor.”

Seeing her smiling immediately extinguished the tiny flame of jealousy in me. She was pleased. That was a good thing.

“It’s an honor for me too. By the way, you report to me whenever a letter arrives… If there’s anything that you want to keep secret, you can.”

“Major, there is nothing that I want to keep a secret from you.”

“Is that so?”

It was as if I made her say that. But she wasn’t one to lie, so it was most certainly the truth. While savoring that happiness, as if I were saying it to myself, I decided that I, too, should be honest with her.

“I report back to you… because I hoped to share with you at least a little bit… of everything I have seen and felt, as well as all my memories with the people I have met.”

I was genuinely surprised to hear those words. After all, I had been completely convinced that her reporting any and everything was a remnant of her time in the military.

――So she was trying to share her memories with me?

“The places you’ve been to, the people you’ve met, what you’ve felt, the stories you’ve witnessed… I also have interest in those things. Thank you; you’ve been trying to tell me about them, right?”

She nodded in agreement. The way she bobbed her head like a child was the same as in the past.

However, in the past, her trying to convey her feelings and experiences to someone else was something unthinkable. She used to the kind of girl who would stay silent the whole time if left alone, so she would not say anything if she was hungry, and if she injured herself, she would not even say that it hurt.

She was just nothing but a machine-like girl soldier who handled the matters in front of her.

“Was it not unpleasant to you…?” No longer that girl soldier, she looked my way as if testing the waters a little.

My hand reached out automatically.

“No way, I’m so happy… I see; so that’s what you felt when telling me those things…” I caressed her head, and just like that, I smoothly entwined her hair around my fingers. Her beautiful hair was like waves of gold.

“I was… Did I do… something bad?”

Perhaps I was treating her too much like a child, stroking the head of someone who had become such a praiseworthy young woman, but I found myself doing it accidentally. I hadn’t been able to do it much back when she was a wounded wild beast.

The two of us were already adults, but maybe we were attempting to fill up the gaping, open holes in our hearts with something. And we wished for the other to forgive this action.

“It’s nothing bad; not at all.”

Earning forgiveness made us feel relieved. “It’s still okay for me to live by this person’s side,” we would think. It might be an exaggeration, but receiving a positive feedback from a loved one could have that much of an effect.

“I’ll be happy if you keep doing that from now on too. I’ll do the same as well. That’s right… didn’t you have stationery and envelopes with stars drawn on them?”

“I do.”

“How about you write the reply on that? If he’s from Shahar, he would be pleased with it, right?”

Her golden eyelashes swayed, blue eyes shining. “What a great idea. He will surely be pleased. Thank you very much, Major.”

“Not at all. Thank you, too, for sharing these wonderful letters with me.”

In that moment, her innocent feelings purified my jealousy. Such unsightly jealousy was something that had never happened to me.

I managed to end the matter without showing any ounce of sign that I was envious of the adventurer. However, my anguish didn’t end there. I would find her rereading the letter from Mr. Leon Stephanotis countless times after that.

I didn’t think anything of it in particular on the first time. I concluded she was thinking about how to reply to it or something like that.

On the second time, I was impressed, assuming that its contents must be exceptionally good.

On the third time, as expected, I inquired, “Staring at that letter again?”

Perhaps because I had asked with an expression mixed with complicated feelings, after briefly making a thinkative-looking face, she answered with an attitude that denounced she had chosen her words meticulously, “Yes, I want to read it enough to memorize it.”

And threw me deeper into a whirlpool of confusion.

“‘Enough to memorize it’?”

“Yes, enough to memorize it.”

Was there such a way of reading a letter?

――I’ve also read the letters I got from her after we reunited so often that I memorized them.

So did that mean she had these same feelings and passion towards the letter from Mr. Leon Stephanotis?

What was written in there? As expected, even I would be curious about that.

If I wasn’t mistaken, she had said it was about his adventures and the stars. Was it accompanied by an awe-inspiring poem or something of the sort? But her face when she was reading it wasn’t the face of someone whose heart had been touched by art. How should I put it? She’d make a face like she was studying academics.

Unable to make sense of it, I spent a few days with her enraptured by the letter.

“Major, requesting permission to go outside late at night today. May I go observe a comet?”

The clarification for the mystery came surprisingly fast. After all, my darling asked me this question right after I woke up in the morning, carrying a luggage that made her look like she was going to do mountain climbing. At first, I thought she was going to take part in a military march or something.

“‘Comet’?”

As I had just woken up, my head wasn’t working well. This was also because I had seen her reading Mr. Leon Stephanotis’s letter right before going to bed, so I hadn’t been able to sleep.

Why was she doing that even before falling asleep? And why bring it to our bedroom?

“Yes, Master Leon predicted that I should be able to see it if the sky happened to be clear today. He wrote in detail about what kind of hill I should look for and what I need to take with me… in case I go out to observe the comet,” she informed in a slightly excited manner, unaware of my feelings. Her voice was stronger than usual.

Silence.

“May I go?” There was no need to request my consent, yet she asked the same thing once more.

I was finally digesting the course of events.

“So you were… making plans to view a comet…?”

She had been studying. Learning the teachings of someone whom she revered as a mentor regarding the stars.

“Yes. Fortunately, the weather appears to be clear today. If it continues like this until nighttime, it will be possible to see the comet through naked eye. I have prepared myself for it.”

That was probably what the heavy-looking baggage in her hands was for.

Embarrassed of myself, I covered my face with my hands.

“Major?”

“Of course, you’re free to do as you please…”

“Thank you very much, Major.” Her voice was lively.

She had been making preparations all this time until today because she wanted to see the stars. She was a pure-hearted person. What a fool I was.

That would mean I had been jealous because of an utterly wrong assumption.

“You’ll be doing it at night, right? Leave those bags on the floor for now…”

“Yes, Major.”

I apologized to Mr. Leon Stephanotis countless times in my head. His relationship with her was sound, and I was the one in the wrong for my unjust suspicions. If any letters from him happened to come again in the future, I would send him a fine wine together with the reply.

“Major, your face looks reddish. Is something the matter?”

“No, it’s nothing…”

“My goodness. You have a fever…”

――That’s not it, my sweetheart.

“I’m okay. More importantly, we don’t have a telescope. Shall we go to the city to buy one?” She hadn’t yet checked the temperature of my head, but I made sure to look directly at her. I whispered this in intervals after peeling her hand off my face. I wanted to help her have fun, even if just a little.

“No, telescopes are expensive.” She shook her head.

“Comets aren’t something we see often, are they?”

“This comet is named Comet Fin, and apparently, it can be viewed every twelve years.”

“Twelve years, huh…”

――If she and I manage to stay healthy and not get any diseases until then…

They would be able to see it again. But this was up to fate, so one could not be too sure.

“As I thought, let’s buy a telescope. If you’d like, may I accompany you on that adventure of yours?”

She didn’t immediately shake her head at the suggestion.

“It is extremely flattering, Major, that you would give me your precious time… so if it happens to pique your interest, by all means, please come along.”

It seemed she had wanted to go with me.

“There’s no time more precious to me than the time I spend with you. I have to pack my own bags too…”

“Actually… I have prepared baggage for two.”

“Is that so? That’s a great help.”

Silence.

“What’s wrong?”

“From the very beginning… I had high expectations that you would join me.” She looked down. Her cheeks were usually rosy against her white skin, but now they were dyed vermillion. “That is fine because you readily agreed…”

She was acting uncharacteristically shy.

“I am embarrassed at myself for jumping to conclusions, although it is too late for that.”

“It’s not embarrassing.”

“No, it was foolish of me. And I regret basking in your kindness.”

“You don’t have to. I’m happy. Besides, you were looking forward to viewing this comet, right?”

“Yes. In the past, I was taught about comets by Master Leon and saw one for the first time. If I were able to see a comet again in my lifetime, I wanted to, at all costs.”

“I see; I’m looking forward to it. It makes me happy that you wanted to see a comet with me.” I smiled at her.

This time, she was the one who covered her face with her hands. Her prosthetics squeaked.

I caressed her head and waited for her blush to subside.

Eventually, she lowered her hands and spoke resolutely, “Now that it’s come to this, Major, I shall be your escort so that you will most certainly enjoy yourself.”

“Escorting at night is my duty,” I whispered as if to lecture her.

In the end, while it was still daytime, we purchased a telescope covered in dust, sleeping at the back of a general store in the city, and readied ourselves for the night. As if listening to her wish, the day went by with the sky still clear, and in due course, the amber of it turned into nightfall.

The two of us went out together at the time when we usually would be getting ready to sleep. With the sky like that, it would be possible to view the comet even from our home, but apparently, Mr. Stephanotis wrote in the letter that it was best to do it in a place with no roof, so we headed to a small hill nearby.

Come to think of it, we might have never had this kind of nighttime fun together. Unbecoming of my age, I was elated.

We were now going to observe a comet. That was all there was to it, yet I was so excited, as if I had gone back to being a boy. I had the feeling that she was in high spirits too.

“Major, I can hold the bags.”

“Nope, I want to hold them myself.”

“But I am not holding anything.”

I walked on, having stolen all of the bags from her even though she wanted to hold them. When I looked up at the sky, the Moon was shining brightly.

“Then hold my empty hand. And then you can take the lead. You’re the one who decided on the destination, after all,” I said while offering my hand to her.

“But then would you not be the only one at disadvantage and I the only one who will be ‘happy’?”

“Holding your hand as we walk is something that makes me ‘happy’. It’s no disadvantage. Carrying my significant other’s belongings makes me happy, too. I wouldn’t be able to do it without you here, after all.”

She held my hand as if resigning. “I understand. The road is dangerous at night. I shall watch your step.”

“Thanks; please do that.”

In the end, she did wind up escorting me, but she let me carry the bags, so it was okay. She was courteous to an extent that, if left to her own will, she would treat even me like a princess, so if I weren’t this insistent, she would end up doing everything by herself.

I was deeply moved by that. After all, it reminded me of her past self.

――You’ve become capable of doing anything by yourself, huh.

I had created situations that would enable her for this.

――And yet, the two of us are together now.

I had wished for that.

――I’m a fool.

While walking, I tightly squeezed her hand, which was devoid of body heat. I couldn’t fathom letting go of it anymore.

Once we reached the small hill, we found that there was a number of groups of people with telescopes other than ourselves. As it was nighttime, we greeted one another silently.

“I have laid sheets here, so please take a seat. This is not a cold night, but the wind is blowing, hence I have brought lap blankets as well.”

“Got it. Come over here.”

“Over there?”

After having her sit down, I also sat in a way that I was covering her up from behind. By doing that, we could nuzzle just right.

“Lean closer if your neck starts hurting.”

Silence.

“Actually, you can lean closer already.”

When I gently pulled her shoulder, she entrusted her head to my chest in an uncomfortable manner.

“Making my Lord into a chair… and leaning against him is…”

“I’m no longer your Lord, and it’s nature’s providence that the big ones make sure to protect the little ones because of their difference in physique.”

“Nature’s providence…”

“Nature’s providence.”

She didn’t seem very convinced, but the words “nature’s providence” appeared to have worked. No matter how much time passed, she would always have a wild beast-like side to her in some respect, so using down-to-earth reasoning when negotiating with her was rather effective.

“Is it all right to let you spoil me, Major, if it is nature’s providence?”

I stroked her head without a care in the world. This position was nice because it was easy to do that.

“I want to spoil you even when there’s no reason for it.” When I said this, she entrusted to me even more of her body weight than earlier. I smiled.

We wouldn’t be able to do this during the day out of concern for people’s stares, but it was nighttime now. And she couldn’t see that my face was red. Good thing that it was night.

“Gives a strange feeling, doesn’t it?” I whispered while gazing up at the sky. “Is Mr. Stephanotis looking at the same sky, since he told you about the comet?”

“Yes, I believe that he is sure to be watching it from that enormous observatory.”

I also cast my eye at the other groups of people, of which I could only somewhat discern the positions in the darkness. “Same goes for them. We’ve been linked just by the information that a comet would pass by today. It gives me such a whimsical feeling that all of us have been treading different lives, and yet we’re looking at the sky tonight with the same goal.”

Should I call it an odd sense of sorority?

Illuminated by moonlight amidst the nightly darkness, she smiled. “The sky goes on, after all.”

I had once heard this phrase, I thought. “You said that before too.”

“Yes. No matter where I go, the sky continues on. When I was not able to see you, I sometimes thought that, even if we could not watch the passage of the seasons together, we might be looking at the same night sky. I was granted this kind of thinking because Master Leon taught me about astronomical observation.”

Silence.

“Perhaps, Major, the people you know are also looking at the sky now.”

“Brother probably isn’t.”

“I wonder. He often used to look up at the sky from the deck of his ship.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. He is fond of beautiful things.”

We continued having a random conversation while waiting for Comet Fin, which began to emerge little by little.

“The people who sent you letters might be looking at it too.”

And then, we would find ourselves imagining. About how people from other places, who had once crossed paths with us but were now living different lives, were spending this night.

“They might be.”

The princess who had married off to a forest kingdom far away. The novelist who was living a slightly lonely life while wishing to maintain his reputation. The sisters who used to live together in the past.

“Yes, they might be, Major.”

They were all under the same starry sky.

“It seems people say that there’s romance to this.”

By the looks of it, Mr. Leon Stephanotis was quite a good teacher to Violet. As expected, I ended up getting jealous.

“Major.”

“What is it…?”

Even though she had been finally looking up at the night sky, she turned back towards me. Her blue eyes gleamed blazingly even in the darkness.

“I am spending this time with you right now. Just the two of us.”

Back when we first met, I was terrified of them.

“Yeah.”

“Still… I suddenly find myself missing you. More than when I am alone.”

I used to be scared of that small living being. Because I could tell that she had been brought up in a chaotic place and knew that a bite from her could easily kill me.

“I am by your side and you are even sharing your warmth with me, yet this makes me feel lonely all of a sudden.”

But I couldn’t let go of her. This was what the footsteps chasing after me and the ragged sounds of her breathing made had me think. That it was okay if she killed me one day, but I had to create a place for this tiny wild beast to belong, as well as protect her.

“I was wondering why.”

And with time, I would begin to curse myself.

We snuggled up to one another in order to make up for the parts that were missing in each of us, which was grave and wrong, so no matter how precious and dear she was to me, I was never allowed to say it aloud. Because I was the one who had created this relationship between us.

“As expected… the time when I could not see you was torture for me.”

It would be best if we were separated, for all eternity.

“When I do things that fill it up… my ‘loneliness’ softens just slightly, like the calmness of the sea.”

The truth was that even our present might be a mistake.

And yet, we were by each other’s side. Even if other people told us that it was a mistake, we wouldn’t stop.

We were going to nestle up to each other until death.

“Major, are you not a little lonely right now?”

This might be a bizarre relationship. The truth was that there might have been different lives for each of us.

“If we continue spending time together like this, will there be a day when I will no longer feel lonely?”

But even if we were to start over, I would surely choose this path.

“Violet.”

――Because there’s no meaning in a life without you.

“It’ll be hard for that day to come,” I whispered words that could be considered a little mean to my violet blossom. “We’re lonely creatures by nature.”

After showing an enigmatic-looking expression, she recited my words, “‘Lonely creatures’…” The way she whispered the sentence sounded like she was digesting it. It felt like she had frozen up just from saying the word “lonely”, so I embraced her in order to make her warm. Letting me do as I pleased, she said, “Is that just you and I?”

“No…”

――If there were just you and I in the world, we wouldn’t have anything to worry about.

“Must be like that with everyone. Especially in the presence of their significant others… they get lonely even though they’re happy. It’s such a weird thing.”

“They feel lonely because they are in love?”

“That’s right. Yet loneliness, too, will diminish if we keep having this kind of contact with each other.”

“But it won’t disappear, will it? Major, do you… also feel lonely when you are with me?”

“I do.”

――I feel lonely all the time, Violet. It’s exactly because I’m in love with you that your every move makes me miss you. But I’m sure that’s what being in love is.

“Then I want us to feel lonely together forever.”

Violet’s words made me laugh. She was an optimist.

“Right. I feel like I’ll be missing you even after I turn into a wrinkly grandpa.”

“I shall deal with it.”

“How’re you gonna do that?”

“However you wish…”

I placed my forehead on hers. She seemed to understand what I wanted to do by that.

“My apologies, I am still unused to it, but…” Albeit displaying a shy attitude, she brought her face closer.

The comet was soon to appear. Before it did, we should be allowed to do this, if just for a little bit.

――That’s why, my dear, I want you not to look at the stars, just for the time being. Even if this is a special comet that we might not get to see in twelve years, just for now, look at me. This memory will repeat itself in our heads for eternity.

My chest felt like it was being squeezed.

――Aah, Violet. You were right; how lonesome this is. As long as I’m bound to you, I’ll feel as lonely as can be.

“Major… are you no longer feeling lonely?”

――Even though you’re already a flower that belongs to me only, I miss you.

“Still not enough…”

――No matter if I’m imagining the future or looking back into the past, or even in the present time, I suffer, because I’m in love with you.

“But the comet is…”

“The comet can wait.”

“It cannot.”

“It can. Just one more time.”

――Please. I want this pain to be gone. Close your eyes just for now, Violet. Because I want to erase our “loneliness”.