Running started young around the yard around the Forrest around the city around the country around t

Running started young around the yard around the Forrest around the city around the country around the world .
I always had a reason to run toward a better future away from things that hurt . But I ended up never staying too long never going too deep. Somewhere inside I felt safer being the disappearing act that never stayed to long . Except I didn’t really want to keep running I wanted to find where I belonged . I never felt I belonged anywhere except in my art , with my animals . I never felt I belonged to a family or a community or another . I always felt like the wild animals, maybe because growing up I spent more time with them then humans. I felt I belonged making art although temporary my relationships with co creators were reasons to stay , or love but when there was danger or loss , I’d run … usually as far and fast as I can as it was my way of processing pain one of them one of the better ones . Art and running were the way I could turn bullets to gold … but then I realized my runner is just a part of me still running from the monsters under the bed that aren’t there . The runner I want to run cause it feels good , cause I’m running toward something , not away from it …
I am not expecting to end my running habit overnight but I want to work on changing it from running away to running toward .
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