sensualstarlight: A Ribbon Wrapped Gift to Self If asked what I want to be to those I love the answ

sensualstarlight:

A Ribbon Wrapped Gift to Self

If asked what I want to be to those I love the answer is simple. 

A gift. 

It isn’t just my submissive leanings that make that choice, no, I just want to be a blessing to the lives of those who I love. For they are that to me. I want to wrap up myself with a bow neatly every time I’m with them and let them know that I would give all I can to them. With my loves now that is a safe thing, for none of them would ever ask me for more then I could give. But part of that gift is being aware that there are things I can’t give. Or times I can’t give. 

See the first step to being a gift unto others lives is to treat myself as a gift, to give to myself first so that I can give more to others. 

I didn’t understand that for a long time. It is still really new to me but I’ve been taking time each day to just be by myself and relax. Sometimes its a walk. I also mean to start reading regularly, to engage my mind and spirituality and explore myself more. Not just the kink, not just the poly or the submissive side. No I want to get to know all of me, because the better I know myself the more I know what I can give. How I can give. 

This isn’t a easy thing for me. It feels a bit like being selfish when I have so much else that takes up my day. I should be spending all my free time with my loves, or I should be writing replies to my writing partners on my favored forum, or I should be… But as Mister Wolf told me today when I spoke of how unequal I felt to everything I thought I should be doing.. do not use the word should. Do what feels right, listen to yourself and go from there. 

And the people that I want to be a gift to? Well they will understand. In fact I think they might even be proud. 

Words © sensualstarlight

Picture © photographer