buckangel:Man. Masculine. Insecure. Exhausted. Aging. Trying so hard to just be in this world. Tryin

buckangel:

Man. Masculine. Insecure. Exhausted. Aging. Trying so hard to just be in this world. Trying so hard to be a man. I could have told you what that meant twenty plus years ago when I decided to have a sex change. My idea of what it meant to be a man was just about how I looked to the world. I had no idea it also was about how I felt. Because I thought I did think like a man. But what does a man think like? We could probably discuss all the characteristics of course but what makes the way a man thinks different than the way a woman thinks? Has my brain changed to think like a man or has it always? Being a man today is the best thing ever but also I wonder has my brain become more masculine through the years? I cannot tell. I can see the way I have evolved with my opinions but did I always have opinions? Then I remember I was opinionated when I was in the female body but felt to insecure to say anything. Now in my male body I make my opinions known. Is that my male privilege or my confidence? Physical appearance is important to all of us. It somehow defines us. That is powerful. When you feel right in your physical body you can do so much more. Celebrating my gender has made me exhausted at times. Educating. Discussing. Fighting. Just so I can live in peace. This is why I am front and center when it comes to my gender fight. I have learned to love myself. When I used to hate myself. I am determined to leave this earth as the man I am suppose to be. ❤️ Tranpa Photo: @michaelvegas
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