lilmeier: dautchy: draw-blog: Rejected anthology submission When one of my high school bullies ra

lilmeier:

dautchy:

draw-blog:

Rejected anthology submission

When one of my high school bullies ran into me at my college town Sonic, she wanted to talk as if we had been good friends and not as if she’d made fun of me for being hungry or dirty in grade school, having hand-me-down and Walmart clothes for all 12 years, for never being in a relationship, for not having internet and not knowing YouTube references or whatever. Like, I hate my hometown people lol. Yall were assholes and now you act like you weren’t those people. That shit just doesn’t disappear.

I ran into an old bully a few years ago, hadn’t seen her since I was 13, so for about 5 years at the time. She came across to me all smiles and tried to hug me, going “Oh my God, is that you Lily?”

I straight up told her to leave, that I wanted nothing to do with someone who had spent years being vicious and cruel and made me cry most days. She tried to play that she didn’t realise I was ever that upset, that it was just teasing, told me I shouldn’t be a little bitch about it. I reminded her (seeing as I couldn’t walk away) that she had watched me cry multiple times, that she had straddled me and punched me, multiple times, that she had told me to kill myself, multiple times, that she had watched me be dragged out of class after I started screaming and biting at my own wrist because I was tired of trying to ignore her.

That I knew she had been the person to leave me the box of knives and the rope tied into a hangman’s noise on my homeroom desk in my 13th birthday, because I recognised her handwriting.

She tried to explain (still not apologising) that she had a difficult home life when she was younger, separated parents, low income, etc. I replied that our situations were similar, my parents were separated, but I didn’t get to spend weekends at my Dad’s, he had moved across the Atlantic and often forgot to even call, nevermind try and visit. That my younger brother had learning difficulties that she had often taunted me over (saying he should have been put down like a rabid dog etc), that we had also grown up poor.

That I knew what her home life was like, because she had been my friend for months before deciding out of nowhere to hate me. And that no matter what her home life was like, that was never an excuse to be so nasty that it still makes me feel sick and dizzy to think about those years. That she never had an excuse for why she evesdropped on my private counselling sessions by turning up for hers (because of her bullying of me) early and listening around the corner from the door that had to be kept open because being locked in made me panic ever since she had locked me in a cupboard in the Art Room, and spreading rumours about my ‘gender issues’, just cos I told the counselor that I like being a tomboy, and that Nah, I don’t think developing an interest in makeup and boy band’s will get my classmates to leave me alone when they make fun of me for not having tits or friends.

Thankfully, my partner arrived with his car then, so I left, with her still saying that I was overreacting to her teasing.

You never owe anyone your time, especially if they hurt you. It does not matter that you happened to share a classroom or a street or whatever, it does not matter that you were in each others lives during your formative years. What matters is that you made the choice to not have them in your life, and you should enforce that when needed. Since it’s that time of year when people go back to their hometowns, it’s important to remember this. You don’t own anybody any time. Ghost them.