These two asks came in very close and I’m not sure whether they’re from the same person

These two asks came in very close and I’m not sure whether they’re from the same person or are two different anons. Since they are similar, I’ll try to answer them in one post.

First of all, gender is a very confusing thing. It’s normal for labels to not fit anymore or to find out that what you thought about yourself wasn’t true. It can be very upsetting, I know, but you are not a fraud or a liar because of it. You weren’t actively trying to deceive people, you just went with what you thought was right, and no one can blame you for that.

Many genderfluid people experience changes pretty often - their gender changes every few days or weeks - but it’s possible for your gender to stay the same for a longer time, enough to make one think that’s the gender they will always be, before it changes again. It’s terribly upsetting, yes. But one can’t control when or if that happens, so, again, you are not at fault for thinking you were male.

And experiencing changes in your gender doesn’t make you a fake. You can’t be a fake for not being able to control something you cannot control. It may feel like you are, I know, but you have no fault in this happening.

I don’t think you are copying your friend. Personally, I find that the idea of actively “copying” someone else’s gender is pretty far fetched. I would say it was most likely more a coincidence than something you consciously or subconsciously did. If certain pronouns make you more comfortable than others, then use them. I don’t think your friends would care if you use the same pronouns as another of them. They probably wouldn’t be angry at you if you told them you are still confused about your gender either.

As for what labels to use, I believe you could call yourself either demiboy, boyflux or nonbinary depending on how strongly you feel connected to being male. Demiboy indicates someone who is partially male and partially something else, so if you feel sometimes 100% male and sometimes 100% nonbinary maybe demiboyfluid or demiboyflux would be more accurate, although of course you could just say demiboy for short. Boyflux would mean the intensity with which you feel male changes, it usually indicates someone who goes between male and agender so if you don’t feel agender it could get confusing to people. Nonbinary can cover a lot of ground as long as you are not always only 100% one binary gender, so it could encompass also your experience. If you feel a strong connection to being male, you could try looking into solarian as a label.

I can also suggest you genderfaun, a subset of genderfluid where one never experiences female or feminine genders.

A note: ftm is considered outdated terminology by some, so if you wish to use it for yourself go on, but be aware some people are uncomfortable with it. This being said, if you believe you would be happier transitioning or presenting yourself as transmasculine, then you shouldn’t feel restrained by the fact you are not always a man. Just do what feels the best to you, and good luck!