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British transphobes have graduated to claiming that bisexual women are tainted by our association with men and thus change the “vibe” of women-only spaces. It’s true, every time I walk into the room, I’m also bringing the spirit of every man who’s been inside my vagina. They live up there like lil ghosts.
This people are genuinely the goofiest dumbest bigots.
Considering the fact that some lesbians have previously had relationships or children with men, this kind of thing is especially gross. Like, this is also punishing some lesbians for having lived through internalized homophobia/lived in very hostile and unsafe environments.
the powers that terfs give men are just insane. they act like being a man makes you a fucking chaos magician bending reality to your whim.
This is literally not changed at all from the 1970s political lesbian shit that birthed TERFery, that’s the fucking wild thing. Like, there have been no advancements in this discussion at all in the past fifty fucking years. They are still saying the exact same shit.
This is part of the reason, by the way, that I’m so adamant that you can’t use anything that comes from that entire swath of transphobic 2nd-wave feminism. You can’t use the term “compulsory heterosexuality” without reckoning with the fact that its coiner thanked Janice Fucking Raymond in the foreword of the writing which established the term. You can’t use definitions of lesbianism which center men or define lesbianism by its exclusion of men without reckoning with the fact that this centering of men comes directly from wanting to exclude trans women.
The only way to stop drinking that tainted water is to drink from another well.
Yes to all of this, but for extra weird? is the genderqueer flag, does she fucking think all genderqueer folks are afab and not even a little masc? Wtf?
No, unfortunately those symbols are used by TERFs on Twitter to mean the suffragette flag, and are a means of marking themselves as TERFs. They just happen to be close in color to the genderqueer flag.
They’ve straight up claimed that genderqueer folks are actually stealing the suffragette colours and perverting them actually.
They know what that flag is, they’re lying about themselves because they know that people will quick-parse read them as non-terf and so will fly under the radar.
We have 2 options:
1. Give up the genderqueer flag, or
2. Be so savagely and viciously proud about being genderqueer, throw it in their faces, call ANYONE with those colours they/them or whatever other pronouns you want, violently reject those colours as symbolic of the suffragette movement, and call them genderqueer
It’s funny bc I live in Portland and if you leave a Cascadia flag out in a PDX winter, it starts looking just like a genderqueer flag. ♂️
RIP to myself, I’m sure I’m about to be called a TERF. But I have questions.
Like first, what is wrong with wanting to have a space filled with only people who do not center men in their life?
The one universal fact of my life as a Lesbian is that everywhere I look men are the center of attention. All my straight friends, my queer friends and my bisexual friends center men in their lives.
But as someone who centers women in my life, I would like a break sometimes from having to hear about men. I would like to just focus on women for a little bit. I would just like to have a space where I can say. I love women. Women are the best. Women are everything. Without someone chiming in with What aboutisms.
Not every space is for everyone. I’m not going to take my cis gendered ass into a trans space. That’s not my spot. That is their safe space to connect and relate to each other and they deserve and are entitled to that space.
The questions is why can’t I have a space where I can connect and relate to women who are exclusively attracted to other women?
This is literally just me saying why can’t I have a safe space for myself as a Lesbian. The majority of Lesbian spaces are now WLW spaces. Which means that inevitably I have to hear about men. Which means it’s no longer a space that centers women.
I feel like inclusion is so important. There should always be spaces where everyone is welcome. I’m 1000% on board with that. However, there should also be safe spaces where people of the same identities can meet to relate and connect.
This is a genuine question, by the way. Women should be allowed to take up space and not have it intruded upon by others just because they want to be there.
The problem is saying these things and asking for these things will get my attacked and I wonder why Gay men aren’t being held to the same standard? Why is every Lesbian that wants a lesbian space evil?
I can go through it step-by-step with you but the first step is the one in which you are going to have to acknowledge that we have an entire system of oppression designed to force everyone to center cis men in their lives, and this has nothing to do with sexuality, attraction to men, or being a good little lesbian. Honestly, the system of identifying as a lesbian in which you define lesbianism as an opposition to men, and an opposition to centering your life around them, is in itself centered around men and maleness.
It’s deeply deeply unhealthy to center your life around another person, including a romantic partner. My life as a bisexual is centered around a woman, myself. It was my straight mother and my straight grandmother who taught me that this was my right as a human being. My mother’s life is not centered around her husband, or even her children, and my grandmother, a twice divorcee, and one time widow, Never once centered her life around a husband, not even her third husband, who she loved dearly.
There is also a special message given to women, that says that we should center our lives around other people, our partners, our children, our families. This is deeply unhealthy, and you should definitely work on centuring your life around yourself. Not on other women, not on your relationships with them, but around yourself. The patriarchal society will insist that this is selfish, but it is not, and it has nothing to do with your capacity to love, cherish and help many people.
My best friend in the world is my brother. We’re a year apart, and we have always had each other’s backs. The person I spend the most time with is probably my other brother, who is paralyzed, and I’m his caretaker. My father was my primary caregiver when I was a young child, because my mom doesn’t really know what to do with children before they’re about eight, and my dad does. I’m very close to him, just like I’m also very close to my mother. None of this means that I center my life around any of these people, and none of it has anything to do with my sexuality, because while being bi is part of my identity, it is hardly the sum of me.
There are lesbians who have fathers, brothers, sons, guy best friends, some of whom even center their lives around these relationships, because as I said, we have an entire cultural system designed to to get everyone of every gender and sexuality to center their lives around cis men.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to have spaces where everybody shares one common characteristic, including lesbian only spaces. Sometimes, you just want to be somewhere where your experience on that front is completely normative. The problem comes when you start saying things like, “I just want to be in a space that isn’t centered around men, lesbians are the only people I know who don’t center their lives around men.” The problem comes when you start claiming that lesbians are better feminists, or that bisexual women are somehow letting down the cause. The problem comes when you act like bisexual women have cooties.
And yes, all of this is lesbian separatist gateway terf rhetoric designed to target specifically lesbians for recruitment into terfdom. I have a post about how that works here: [link].
Wed, 08 Jun 2022 12:39:16
