Almost every day of my childhood consisted of me begging and pleading with my parents to “let

Almost every day of my childhood consisted of me begging and pleading with my parents to “let me see” the computer, crawling under my dad’s feet and waiting as he banged off email after email. Other times, I was being led to the old computer at the back off the office I could use during those common days when I went to work with my mom, only to find out it had some missing plug-in I needed. Spending my days at my moms feet were my earliest memories; my body contorted and my feet brushing the glowing power strip, I learned how to feel at home in tight spaces–at the margins. 

In my coming of age, identity always meant something a little different to me though. When I was little, I traversed Kiko Lake and the Haunted Woods in Neopets, playing games all day just trying to get enough coins to buy my Kacheek a neat hat. Next, it was an obsession with dress up games on RoiworldorTycoon, maybe even the Teen Titans fighting games. Then, it was pairings and analysis on hundreds of episodes of British science fiction. And now, I find myself on group chats filled with kids from camp, and kids from school, kids who find a place of affirmation on their laptops.

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Ashaonmarginality and (safe) space irl and online.