faenova: whumptober | day 11 | struggling / cryingbeing stoic and trying to hide pain is fun and all

faenova:

whumptober | day 11 | struggling / crying

being stoic and trying to hide pain is fun and all but consider: having a meltdown because of stress and pain

It had happened so quickly. The gun had been silenced but Heiji swore he could hear the gunshot echoing around his skull. At this point he didn’t know whowas shaking. Hakuba or him. From the feeling in his hands, he was sure it was him. The other detective was always so stoic, of course it was him. He swallowed- he had to stay calm. 

Hakuba was hunched over, hands hovering, bangs covering his eyes. There was blood staining the center of Hakuba’s white shirt. It stained Hakuba’s fingertips where they’d pressed into it when he’d staggered back and slid down the wall. He dropped to his knees in front of him to press against the wound. Pressure- it needed pressure if they were to stanch the blood flow. Right now, that was the most important thing. Right now it was all Heiji’s brain could register to do. The blood flow had to be stanched because if it wasn’t then Hakuba would-

No. He had to remain calm. If Hakuba could remain calm during this, then he could too. Of course he could, he was just as good a detective. His hands pressed against the wound. Blood, sticky and warm, oozed out between his fingers and he’d seen so many dead bodies but bile rose to his throat and he swallowed it down. Quiet noises came from Hakuba. Hakuba’s hands clamped around his forearms. Pale fingers- were they supposed to be that pale?- slipped against his skin, created tiny trails of red against it. One of his hands went to Heiji’s shirt and started to pull. Not toward him, though. Away from him. Heiji pressed down firmer. It was weak but still- “Hakuba, don’t,” Heiji said. “Ya gotta stop pushing me off-” The next pull was stronger, he felt the pull of his shirt force him back a centimeter. The fingers against his arm dug in and he winced as blunt nails broke skin. “Shit-” he cursed quietly.

The hand in his shirt let go and moved to grab his other arm. The struggle intensified. Both hands dug in till they would likely leave bruises in the shapes of Hakuba’s fingerprints in his skin. He kept his eyes on the wound like maybe if he stared hard enough- maybe if he pressed hard enough- the wound would disappear. The wound would disappear and they’d be two detectives arguing over which direction to take to follow KID. There would be no glass on the ground next to them, no blood on the floor or his hands or Hakuba’s shirt. Already the blood trail against his skin felt tacky. But the blood under his hands still felt warm.

“Hakuba!” Heiji yelled desperately- he wasn’t worried about anybody bad finding them. Afterall, they already knew where they were. If anything, he hoped someone wouldfind them. This was a KID heist. Didn’t Kudou say KID had something in his rules about people not getting hurt during heists? This was a pretty shitty job of it but if only he would find them- Heiji gritted his teeth. Hakuba continued to struggle. “Stop struggling!”

He glanced up and paused. Froze. From here, he could properly see Hakuba. Thin tear tracts were going down his face. His eyes were wide, eyebrows drawn down in pain. The quiet noises finally filtered in properly- sobs. Tiny and choked off and panicked. Hakuba was panicked. It was probably the most sobering picture Heiji had ever seen. He repositioned himself closer to Hakuba and the other detective slid a hand up to grab at his rolled sleeve. “Come on, don’t freak out on me. I’m tryna help ya, yer bleeding-” he pleaded quietly. Gently, he pressed his forehead against Hakuba’s. Golden eyes flickered briefly, but they didn’t seem to register him. The hand against his arm slackened just slightly, though, before it tightened again. “Hakuba, please…”

Both his hands were occupied so he pressed his forehead firmer against Hakuba, hoping the contact would help. Hoping to get him out of shock. Because shock was bad- shock was trembling and bleeding out and not breathing properly. Shock was passing out in his arms. He breathed deeply so his whole body moved and hoped Hakuba would follow even despite the pain. Because he’d been there before. He’d been shot before. And it felt like fire licked up your nerves but breathing kept you aliveand he needed Hakuba to breath for him. “Breathe for me, will ya?” It took time, but the struggle calmed. Hakuba could feel something in him loosen at the first stuttered breath that fluttered over his skin. 

Eventually KID does find them and Heiji has to bite down hard on the instinct to shout at him to get somebody, you bastard, heists are supposed to be safe, call somebody, get Nakamori-keibu, get him helpbecause he didn’t think his usual shouting would help right now and the last thing he wanted to do was make it worse. But he doesn’t have to worry. KID sees Hakuba and is off like a rocket. It’s the fastest Heiji thinks he’s ever seen him run, even when all three of them are on his tail.

The haunted look lessened until it felt like Hakuba could finally see him again and he smiled softly. “There ya are, hey. Don’tcha worry. KID’s gonna get ya help, alright? And I’ll stay right here with ya until he does. I’m not lettin’ ya go.”

Hakuba blinked and larger tears formed and welled and overflowed, down Hakuba’s cheeks to pool and drip from his chin. A small hiccup came from him, followed by a wince.

“What’s wrong?” Heiji could feel worry crawl up his throat again and he viciously held it back. He couldn’t get overshadowed by his own emotions. Not when Hakuba needed him. For once, he had to be the calm one. Hakuba’s hair brushed against his forehead as he shook his head. There was no sound, but he could knew the words on his lips- ‘thank you’. “Of course,” Heiji laughed. “I’m not planning on lettin’ ya go anytime soon.”