“Whatever are you doing down there? Oh I see, oh dear …. yes well it’

“Whatever are you doing down there? Oh I see, oh dear …. yes well it’s nothing to be ashamed of, I suppose. No, I’m not angry. No really, it’s ok. It’s flattering? I think that’s probably pushing it, my dear. Do you want to carry on? Yes - really. It does seem a shame to - well you know - when you were so close.”