krakensdottir:theniceandaccurategoodomensblog: aethelflaedladyofmercia: pendragony: aethelflaedlad
theniceandaccurategoodomensblog:
David Tennant and Michael Sheen on Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship
“That’s really annoying for him” is a bit that doesn’t get played up enough in fanfiction I think
Yes! I think maybe it’s because it breaks down his efforts to be cool.
Just to get a tiny bit meta for a minute, there was that post earlier about the thermos of holy water representing their love, and now I’m thinking of it again. What could be any more achingly uncool than a thermos flask? A tartan thermos flask? And yet that intrusion of tartan nerdiness into the spare, monochrome world of Crowley’s flat stands for everything that is most important to him, everything that he’d give up his cool for, give up his safety for, go to the end of the earth for. It stands for Aziraphale loving him back.
It’s also potentially the end of him, and he hides it away. But he keeps it safer than anything.
Very much so.
You got to think, too, sometimes it goes through his head as he’s busting into the Bastille because Aziraphale was craving crepes or dancing down the aisle of a church to foil a Nazi plot — it’s gotta run through his head that it would be so much easier if he could just ignore Aziraphale.
If he could just shrug it off, say “it’s his own dumbass fault” and just catch up if he ever re-corporates.
Or even just ignore that little anxious look of “could you do this for me?” Or tell him to knock it off whenever the “I’m gonna magic trick” face comes out.
But he can’t. Because despite everything, he does love Aziraphale, and that means pulling his stupid butt out of the fire every few centuries again. It means doing really annoying favors because how can he not? And it means watching the damn coin trick every time because even though it makes him cringe with second-hand embarrassment, it also makes Aziraphale happy and that’s always worth it.
And it’s just - arg - so annoying!
Yes! But! And! Aziraphale’s world is the only one in which Crowley gets to be cool. All he wants is to be suave and sophisticated and COOL, and all those things that act as an armour over the fragile, uncertain, vulnerable person only seen by God.
But the other demons just don’t get it - Crowley’s standards of Cool are entirely derived from his life on Earth and the antics of these humans he lives among. There is nary a wahoo to be found among them. On earth, the dark glasses and slick suits and up-to-the-minute haircuts mean something. They confer an antiestablishment edge of Cool to everything he does without him even needing to try hard.
And with Aziraphale, Crowley gets to play at being an action hero. He gets to waltz in and save the day. He gets to lounge insouciantly in the corner in dark glasses and take Aziraphale by surprise, then nonchalantly save his angelic arse with a click of his fingers. He gets to waltz (well, OK, hot-step) into a church full of Nazis, lay down a few one-liners and then literally bring the house down before sauntering off to his awesome, sleek car.
He can’t stand the magic show because it’s so massively cringey (thank you, Gaiman and Pratchett for the phrase ‘contact embarrassment’) that it taints him with its lack of Cool. But nobody else cares because nobody else knows who Crowley is or how cool he’s trying to be.
But Aziraphale knows. He doesn’t always get it (“Oh, bebop”) but he sees what Crowley does and what he’s trying to be. Aziraphale, the nerdiest nerd to ever nerd, sees Crowley’s Cool and adores him for it. You know it’s true because when he comes to play Crowley, he slams it like Dorothy Parker. We see Crowley in Hell a few times, but he is at his coolest when he’s played by Aziraphale.
And meanwhile, the Cool that Crowley wants to be but doesn’t feel inside is the thing that he sees in Aziraphale. As nerdy as Aziraphale is, when his back’s against the wall he’s an ice cold bastard. Crowley *wishes* he was that. His portrayal of steel-resolve, stiff-upper-lip, officer-and-a-gentleman Aziraphale facing down hellfire is what every plastic James Bond wishes they could be.
He simultaneously can’t stand what Aziraphale is like and adores him for it.
I can also imagine that Crowley has, in the back of his mind, an image of what the perfect partner for his aesthetic would be.
Like it varies a bit over time. But you know. He’s theoretically bringing the suave, cool, confident hero. So he needs a clever and quick-witted side kick, or a firy sexy “Bond chick” (though he is gender non-specific, I just couldn’t think of a male version), or a partner who is as cool as him with a perfectly timed back-and-forth dialogue that stuns and amazes their enemies.
And Aziraphale just…consistently fails to be any of these. He’s just a nerd, and not even like a cool nerd who can bring the latest tech, no he’s this cuddly bookshop owner in an outdated suit who takes biscuits on secret missions. Like what?!
But Aziraphale is also — beyond any shadow of a doubt — the best partner he could ask for. He’s smart, he can follow Crowley’s lead or come up with plans of his own, he knows what Crowley wants when he needs it, he is an absolutely terrifying bastard when they’re under pressure, and he does not ever give up.
And he happily embraces whatever weird schtick Crowley has going on this century. Oh now you’re a cool brooding hero? Ok. Suave badass? If you say so. Are we going Byronic again? Yes dear I’ll get your fainting couch. Crowley could declare he was Batman and Aziraphale would roll with it. Complete acceptance, no strings attached.
Like, how is Crowley NOT supposed to fall in love with that?
Yes to all of this. But also—
Loving Aziraphale significantly decreases Crowley’s chances of survival. Crowley doesn’t like it in Hell. He isn’t indoctrinated into the BS like Aziraphale. Without Aziraphale, I think he’d have escaped to Alpha Centauri or whatever possibly before the Antichrist was even born. Course he wouldn’t have been happy…
And yet, Crowley sought him out. Crowley struck up their first conversation, and several more after that, and of course he came up with the Arrangement. He had all sorts of practical, even selfish reasons for doing this: he was bored, he was lonely without anyone else who’d understand his position, it made more sense to split the workload and not waste their mutual time, it’s fun getting drunk and talking about random shit. But falling in love was the bit he didn’t plan, and couldn’t control, and it ran away with him, transforming the entire relationship, tying him to Aziraphale in inextricable ways, do that even when it wasn’t selfishly convenient or practical to be around him, Crowley had to anyway. He can’t even pretend there’s anything demonic about that. It’s confusing and frustrating and overwhelming and terrifying. And Crowley (and David speaking for Crowley) translates all of that as ‘annoying’, because that’s just… how he deals with things.
Sat, 02 Jan 2021 18:01:04
